Never put an impatient person like me in a car for almost four hours. Yes, the first two hours weren't bad, but the moment the third hour mark approached us, I began to get a little anxious. I tried to distract myself by looking out the window at the different landscapes, but I just wanted to be in Boston already. Clint got annoyed when I kept asking him how much longer we had of sitting in the car, but he knew that long car rides weren't my friend. When we finally make it to Boston, excitement stirs from within me and a huge smile takes it place on my face.

          The car comes to a halt and the engine turns off, but my attention is drawn to every beautiful aspect of the city. It's overwhelming, yet it suddenly feels like home to me. I must've loved growing up here, I think to myself. For a moment, I feel like the young girl that grew up right in the city in the 1940s, but the idea quickly fades into a distant memory, lodged inside my brain.

"I've never seen you this happy," I look over at Clint, a smile plastered over his features.

"Something about this place makes me feel at home," I explain. "I have this sense of hope that never existed until now."

"Let's go dig into your past, shall we?"

***

          The Rawlins Science and Research Company is located just along the Boston Harbor and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. Clint opens the door for me, and my eyes go wide, amazed of how big this place is. A swarm of people in lab coats walk in different direction of the building, but a friendly face makes themselves present to us and the other tourist that anticipate a tour of the facility. Surprisingly, the tour is free and the woman instructs the group of us to follow her.

          My eyes wander to the different aspects of the room as we enter the astronomy corridor. The room is filled with an abundance of telescopes and pictures that are plastered onto the walls like a reference that guides them. I've always found the stars so memorizing and on some nights, I always managed to catch myself staring off into the sky, wondering if there really is more to space than we know. Clint elbows me, trying to get my attention because I didn't realize that an astronomer for Rawlins started explaining the basics of astronomy. My attention turns to the man, but my focus goes to a faint memory that's trying to resurface.

          A draft was forming as I kept pacing outside of my father's study as I debated if I should go in or not. I needed to tell him what I decided to major in college because since I was graduating early at just sixteen, he instructed me to figure out what I wanted to be. My entire family consisted of microbiologist, cardiovascular surgeons, physicists, and chemists, so I grew up wanting to be in the science field, but I was different from the others. As my father was the CEO of the Rawlins Science and Research Company and a fellow physicist, he wanted me to excel in school and get the best education in the city of Boston. And so, I went to The Winsor School, a private school for girls, and while I was there, I was involved in all the science programs, but I also was heavily into the music program.

          Both my parents were proud of how intelligent I became in school and they practically flaunted it to all of their friends, but I hated the attention. At times, I didn't want to be the future physicist in my father's footsteps. I wanted to be a writer and an astronomer and music would be a hobby in the end. Never in a million years did I want to become a disappointment to my parents and my two brothers. Taking a deep breath, I finally turned the knob to my father's study and pushed the door open. He looked up from the paperwork he was filling out, and a smile grew as I stepped into the room, taking a seat in a chair in front of his desk. My hands started to become clammy and my heartbeat began to speed up to a mile a minute.

"Sorry to bother you, Father, but I need to discuss something with you," I said, nervously tapping my foot on the hardwood floor.

He took off his glasses and folded his hands on the desk. "Nonsense, Avalon! What matters do you want to discuss?"

"Well, I've figured out what I want to go to college for," I started to explain and his features became filled with curiosity. "I know you expected me to become a physicist like you, but that's not what I see myself doing for the rest of my life. I see myself being an astronomer because I'm passionate about it and to be quite honest, physics just never... interested me in the way astronomy has."

The room went silent and the air became thick between us. I know that I've disappointment him just by the way his facial expression changed and I had to look away, not wanting to see his cold, blue eyes staring at me angrily. For a moment, I thought he'd understand that not every child wants to follow in their parents' footsteps, but I forgot how determined he was to have me succeed in the physics world.

"And how do you plan on succeeding in Astronomy? You're willing to waste your intelligence in a field that doesn't require any hard work?" He questioned, sternly.

My eyes shot from the floor to his eyes, exactly identical to mine. "The same way you succeeded in Physics. Following my heart and doing the thing I do best. I thought you would be the one person to understand that the most, but my theory is wrong."

"Avalon Jane, you know all I want is the best for you! You have so much potential and I don't want you to be filled with remorse for not doing what you love," he tried to make me listen, but all I kept hearing was excuses.

"Will you ever put my life before your own?"

          My chest feels heavy after the memory left its mark in my mind, burning into my memory. My father never wanted me to do what I felt destined to do, and I suppose that his disapproval made me reconsider what I wanted to do what my life. And being in this room makes it harder for me to keep my composure.

"Hey, what is it?" Clint questions as he turns me to face him.

My eyes move back and forth from him to the room behind him. "Lorenzo, he crushed the dream I had to be an astronomer because he wanted me to follow in his footsteps. I guess that the wrath of his disapproval caused me to change my opinion on what I intended on becoming," the memory taking me by surprise.

            Before he can say another word, the tour guide announces that we'd be heading to the forensic wing. Clint and I look at each other, knowing that that's where it began and where it all ended for the Forensic Scientist I used to be. Since we got here, I've been counting down in my head to the moment that I'd finally be back at the place where it all began for me. This is the main reason why I wanted to come back to Boston in the first place, but now that we're only seconds away from it, I'm afraid that either I'm going to not remember anything or that it'll become too much for me to handle. But I long to know who I was; the girl that dedicated her life to the sciences and only wanted the approval of her parents. Maybe there's so much more than that?

"Before the forensics laboratory expanded and gained more scientists, it used to only be run by one person. Her name was Dr. Avalon Jane Rawlins, the daughter of founder of this organization, Dr. Lorenzo Rawlins. She was one of the best forensic scientists in the country until her tragic murder in 1949," the tour guide explains the history of this unit.

If my heartbeat could stop, it would be because of the irony of this tour. I didn't think that I'd be mentioned during this tour, but I would assume that it's necessary to know the history between it all. But outside the lab, hangs a black and white portrait of me. Clint walks over to it and I quickly follow behind as we both look at it with curiosity.

"This is weird," I state, feeling an ounce of sadness course through my body.

"This is the first time you've been in this building for sixty-five years, things have changed since then," Clint replies to my statement.

          As the tour guide still talks about the history of the building, I eye the picture, carefully, but a paper like object that's wedged behind the picture catches my attention. Looking over my shoulder, I make sure that the other tourists are looking in a different direction before walking up to the photograph. My fingers trace alongside the metal frame, the coldness of it sends goosebumps on my arms. Once the paper-like texture is within my grasp, I pull it out from behind the picture, expecting it to be a brochure that someone didn't want anymore, but I'm met with a letter that has yet to be opened.

"Clint," I call out, freaked out about the letter I just found.

He comes up next to me, looking down at the letter. On the front of the envelope, my full name is written out in the most beautiful cursive handwriting I've ever seen and the part best is that I can recognize it from a simple glance. I remember it clearly now. The handwriting belonged to my mother, Josephine.

"This is my mother's handwriting... I never thought I'd see it again," I blink away my tears, but the pain of missing my mother hurts my heart. I never got to say goodbye to her. "I can't open it, not here. Clint, I don't think I can go in there."

"We didn't come all this way to have you be struck by fear," Clint exclaims. "Your life was taken away from you, don't you want to remember the moments that lead it to it?"

          It wasn't until now that I realized that I've been afraid. Afraid that this will be a mistake and being here wouldn't have any purpose. I'm holding myself back because my gut says it's not a good idea to mess with the past, but it doesn't hurt to take a chance, a risky chance that won't do much harm.

"I can't hide forever," and I grab ahold of his wrist and I pull him along into the forensic laboratory.

Nothing last forever, my dear.

a/n - bonjour, friends! i hope you enjoy this long overdue update (: - kenzie