When I was In 7th standard....I met Arjun...my bestfriend...At the time he had newly shifted to our colony....and found me as his first friend and neighbour....He and I went to the same school there after as surprisingly he was in my class too...I was overjoyed to have a new friend after so long of being all alone at school....Our friendship was great until a year later I felt kind of excluded from everything he did....Like we always walked back home together, hung out in the near by parks but he suddenly started avoiding me...I didn't mind it as much because I knew he was in school kabaddi team so he maybe had practice...But a hard Jab to the face was when he didn't want to invite me to his birthday party....

I still remember the day before I asked him if he had a birthday party....But he just shrugged it saying this year he didn't want any celebration so he didn't have a party which I understood because obviously I haven't ever had any chance to celebrate my birthday either... obviously reasons were that I had none to actually remember it's my birthday and wish me or to care enough to give me birthday presents.... Earlier it very sad and disheartening  but with time I understood that's just how my life is gonna be and got used to it...So back to the story...I just nodded and thought it would be great if I dropped by at his house in the evening and give him the present.

So when I did...I found he wasn't at home....as his mother told me he still hadn't returned from school...as weird as it sounded to me I just shrugged and thought I should wait a little more....So I thought I can go to the market to buy groceries and by the time I would return he would be back....But what I wasn't prepared for was that my bestfriend surrounded by a big group of boys and girls from our school as I knew some of the faces.... entering the cafe nearby....it doesn't take a genius to know it was his birthday party....I sighed knowing maybe he kind off knew I'm not someone who had enough money to eat at this restaurants or Cafes and thus mostly avoided eating at big cafes like that or eating outside in general.

So I just sighed and went back home did continue my routine of cooking, cleaning and homework completion...Then gave him my gift the next day as my heart wanted to even yell at him why did he lie to me...his bestfriend...he could have told me the truth about me not being able to afford to eat at such a good place hence he couldn't take me along...I could have definitely understood that but he decided to lie....I couldn't handle the pain and confronted him about it as he flipped the whole thing on me saying how I was very clingy and very embarrassing to be friends with....He said how he earlier didn't understand why no one was my friend but later with time he realised I'm just a boring poor girl who doesn't know or do anything interesting....I wasn't good enough for him and that I shouldn't cling to him as it tarnishes his reputation among his friends....And then he just returned my little gift  saying he can't take cheap things ....and left me standing there in complete shock and embarrassment as he said how boring I was...And it was getting more embarrassing for him to hang out with me or to be seen with me...and told me to leave him alone for atleast once

I walked back home in tears but nobody cared enough to atleast wipe it off or console me...For Next few days I was extremely ashamed to go to the class hence I only went to training and sat somewhere in the streets...until one day Khan baba caught me red handed and advised me to go to school properly and study because it's very important for my future...Hence I began going....The story didn't end there I was still very desperate to have him back in my life but very scared to even talk to him at this point...I started to even cry randomly at any moment of the day....felt very off to eat at class so literally took my tiffin to the washroom and ate it up in there or threw it out and rest days I didn't have food so would wander off to a secluded class to do my Homework and that's how I slowly and steadily learned to be all by myself and also be content and not crave for someone to talk to....This is how I learned to talk to myself in the little mirror that I have to atleast have an illusion that I have someone to talk to and started pouring out my daily deeds.... believing atleast my reflection cared to know about all of it...and that's what I do until this day and it somewhat comforts me

No matter what I did...I was always that one kid nobody really cared about or would get easily get bored of...So I stopped searching for friends or someone who cared because bitter truth is nobody did except ofcourse Khan baba but I do realise I can't really be much clingy to him...Or maybe he would get bored of me...who knows?

Thing is...my erm...my feelings for Vansh at this time is very strong....And it scares me so damn much that I already know What's the consequences of these growing feelings but still there's no way I am able to stop it...It just keeps growing and his behaviour doesn't help at all...He is so damn sweet....a gentle person who is also caring enough to check up on me...like if I ate to asking how was my day...it's all so dreamy to me that it scares me to death that one day he would be bored of me and ignore me like Arjun did....And I don't know if I'm ready for that....Angrey....He's equally caring...he's like a brother to me..A brother I Wished I had....In these 2-3 months he has dropped me to my college whenever he passed by my colony....Simple thing to everyone else but meant alot to me

Our friendship has been very beautiful experience for me...They had been so supportive of me that they came to each of the matches just to cheer me up....as Khan baba has been busy with his work so he frequently goes to another city for his work that's what makes their presence at the match all the more precious for me....whenever they met me at the place we met for the first time and we went to Chai tapri(small shop) at the corner of the street and had cutting chai... while rambling , bitching and gossiping about everything and everyone we came accross....Those are the best moments of the day and we do it every Saturday...

And this Saturday it's gonna be friendship day...I'm just so excited to buy friendships bands for them with the little money I have saved up from all these 4 matches I had been going last three months...and celebrate together with them....I hope I don't disappoint them with those bands....I hope I can maintain being the cool friend I am..I just hope they like it