CHAPTER 15

"You sure about that? Boto naman talaga ako sa kaniya pero kung napipilitan ka lang Nicole, itigil mo na kaagad. Kawawa ang lalaki kung tira tirang pagmamahal na lang ang ibigay mo sa kaniya kasi pag-aari parin ni Andrew ang puso mo"

I sighed and looked at Angela, she's baking a cupcake and I was just sitting in the corner while looking at her. Nasa loob kami ng coffee shop niya at nagbe-bake naman siya.

Hindi ko din alam kung tama bang mahalin ko si Sky, pero... I don't want to be unfair to him. Siguro hindi ko muna siya sasagutin at hayaan ko munang mahulog ako ng mahulog bago ko sabihin na mahal ko siya. Hindi naman na siguro ako mahihirapan dahil ang dali niya namang mahalin.

He's so lovable, he's kind and helpful. Makikita mo sa kaniya yung lalaking titipuhan talaga ng mga babae. Gwapo, mabait, gentleman, matalino at saka may kaya. Ano pa bang hahanapin mo sa kaniya? Wala na.

"I'm sure bae, saka... may gusto naman ako sa kaniya. I can't consider him as my lover for now, but still... I think I would be able to love him and unlove Andrew"

She smiled. "Good, I just want you to be happy. Ayokong makita ka na namang miserable, alam mo naman kung anong mararamdaman ko"

I smiled and stood up before tasting the cupcake, it's delicious! Talagang iba mag bake at magluto si Angela, I wish I can cook like her. Marunong naman kasi ako pero hindi gaano kagaling, simpleng lutuin lang ang kaya ko hindi tulad niya na puro mahihirap lutuin ang niluluto.

"Yeah I do, it's delicious. Para ba to mamaya?" I asked her and she nodded.

Mamaya na kasi ang christmas party na hinanda namin, naghahanda na kami para mamaya. Marami namang naluto si Angela, hindi na ako magtataka kung busog na busog na naman ako mamaya o malalasing.

My friends are alcoholic, so am I. Pero iniiwasan din naman namin dahil pare-pareho lang kaming busy. Of course, most of us are professionals. Lalo na si Andrea dahil doctor, pero si Vien na doctor din parang walang pake-alam sa kalusugan niya.

Hindi ko na lang talaga alam kung paano siya maha-handle ng future asawa niya sa susunod sa sobrang bold at daldal niya.

"Yes, isn't it too much? Ang dami kong nailuto" Natatawang sabi niya sabay hubad ng suot niyang gloves.

Inubos ko ang cupcake na kinuha ko at saka tumango. "Yes it is, ang dami dami na niyan. Konti lang naman tayo at maaarte pa ang iba, sigurado akong hindi mauubos yan"

She just shook her head and chuckled. "Ibibigay na lang natin sa mga batang kalye, tutal pasko naman"

I suppress a smile, anghel naman talaga si Angela. Masyadong malapit sa puso niya ang mga bata, masyado siyang malambing at maalaga.

But when it comes to her work, she always scream dominance and authority. She's intimidating in her own way, kahit wala siyang ginagawa manginginig ka na lang talaga. Pero dahil kilala ko na siya ng matagal hindi na bago sa akin ang paiba-iba niyang ugali.

That's why she's my bestfriend, she know me very well and I do too. She understand me, she always comfort me and make me smile.

"That would do"

I helped her packed the foods and brought it to Rystine's house. Doon ihahanda ang party this year, ewan na lang sa ibang taon.

Every christmas magkakasama kaming magkaibigan, sa bagong taon naman ay kasama namin ang sari-sariling pamilya. Nasanay na kami sa ganito taon taon, hindi na bago dahil simula pa man dati ay eto na ang set-up namin.

When we arrived at Rystine house I can clearly seen the decorations. Rystine boyfriend–Lyxe– was sitting on the sofa while looking lovingly at his girlfriend who was preparing the table.

Rystine lifted her gaze on us, I immediately smiled and she smiled back.

"Narito na pala ang pagkain, dito niya na ilagay"

Nilapag namin ang pagkain sa mesa at saka hinanda. It's 3:50 on the afternoon, mamaya pa yung party and I still have a time to ready myself.

When everything is settled, I said goodbye and drove my car to my house. I wore a simple backless dress, it was red that suit the party. Hindi naman kailangan na pormal talaga ang suot pero sabi nila dapat formal daw para mas masaya.

I wonder ano na namang kabaliwan ang gagawin nila, kasi last last year pinagawa lang naman nila sa'kin ang halikan ang lalaking crush ko. Of course that was fucking embarrassing, sinong hindi mahihiya? Hindi ako kilala nung lalaki, tapos may bigla biglang nanghahalik sa kaniya.

Nakakahiya diba?

Ano na namang trip ng mga to pagdating ko.

Pagkatapos kong magbihis at ayusin ang sarili ay dumeretso na kaagad ako sa bahay ni Ry. It's still early and the others are not here yet, kumakain pa lang sila ng sweets at nagku-kuwentohan. I joined them and listen to all their thoughts, it's all about biz and their love life. I won't be able to talk kasi... ang awkward diba? Ako yung ang saya saya dati at excited na kinukwento si Andrew sa kabila pero ako ngayon tong umiiyak.

Ang saklap talaga ng buhay minsan, pero ano nga bang aasahan natin? May katapusan ang lahat ng bagay.

"It's been four years Rizmen, hindi ka parin move on?" Kry gently asked Rizzy.

We were talking, I mean they were having a heart to heart talk. I was just listening and eating dome cupcakes.

"Kasi naman... mahal ko padin, paano ako magmo-move on?"

"May asawa na siya... hindi mo padin ba siya papakawalan? Riz... wala ka namang balak manira ng pamilya diba?" Biglang sabat ko sa usapan nila.

Alam ko naman ang nararamdaman niya, may pamilya na rin ang lalaking mahal ko. Magkakaroon din sila ng anak kung tatagal pa sila. At dahil... expected ko na yun, pinakawalan ko na.

Pero kay Rizmen, she knew. She knew that Thunder has a son, pero... ayaw pa niyang pakawalan. Is my love to Andrew really that deep? Kasi kung oo, siguro umiiyak at lumuluhod parin ako sa kaniya.

O mahal ko lang talaga ang sarili ko kaya ko naiwasan ang tukso ng temtasyon? Siguro.

But... Andrew said he loves me.

He loves me yet here I am doubting my feelings for him for a long time, do I even deserve him? Well I guess not.

Because Charm deserve him and he also deserve my sister.

Little did I know... I'm slowly moving on. Unti unti na palang nawawala ang sakit na dulot ng pagmamahal ko sa kaniya.

Rizmen shook her head and looked away. "I'm confuse Nic, maybe it's just a charade? All of his feelings back then is just a charade. Siguro ginamit niya lang ako para sa sakit na dulot sa kaniya ng asawa niya, yet.... I still love him despite of being pretentious"

Tama nga siguro siya, it's just a charade. All of it is just a charade.

"You should move on, stop hoping because he will never love you Rizmen. I don't mean to hurt you, but... you should wake up from your reveries and face the reality" Andy said and shot a glass.

"I-i'll try... "

"Okay! Stop being so freaking emotional, it's christmas! We should be happy right now!"

"Yeah!"

I just thanks Angelie for changing the topic, we won't be able to celebrate our christmas if we're going to talk like that.

We did enjoyed the party, even our friendship bracelets suit me very well. I like it, I really like Angela's taste. The design was made by our friend Iuna. Ang ganda.

I wes eating heartily when Angela sat beside me. I curiously looked at her and raised a brow.

"Hmm?" I hummed before starting eating my food.

"Rheane look suspicious... is she pregnant?" Mahinang bulong sa kaniya ni Angela.

Out of confusion, I looked at Rheane who's eating heartily with her adobo. Hindi naman siya gaano katakaw pagdating sa pagkain pero ngayon parang uubusin niya ang adobong hinanda.

"Maybe? Parang.... naglilihi siya" Mahinang sambit ko at umiwas ng tingin.

Kung mabuntis man siya, sigurado akong sasaya siya. Lalo na at halatang mahal siya ni Vaughn.

I already met him when Yoons visited us, yung bakasyon nila ay sa private beach Nina Lara. Kasama ko din nun si Sky pero hindi ko siya napakilala sa mga kaibigan ko dahil may ginawa siya. Nakita ko na lang siya ng maggabi na.

"Wala namang masama na buntis siya... ang sa akin lang, sigurado na ba siya sa lalaki niya? I saw Vaughn with a little girl a woman Nicole. I'm afraid Rheane will get hurt too"

I sighed. Maybe it was a charade after all, but... would Vaughn let him impregnate my friend just for a deception? I don't think so, love may be hurt sometimes but if they're really are bound to each other. I think gagawa naman ng paraan si tadhana diva?

"Don't give any false conclusions bae, it will break our friend's heart" I said timidly.

I know I'm scared, of course who wouldn't? Sinong hindi matatakot na masaktan? Wala.

"Well... maybe you two are right, I shouldn't jump into conclusions just because I saw them"

"Hmm... kasi maybe kapatid or pinsan lang pala yun, or friend na nagpasama sa kanilang mag-ina. Hindi natin alam Angela, sometimes misunderstanding caused break ups. Hindi natin alam na nasasaktan pala tayo ng walang dahilan. Nagpaka tanga lang tayo sa wala"

Angela's lips turned into a thin line and slowly smirking. I rolled my eyes of what I saw. Iba na naman ang iisipin niya.

"Tayo na! Done eating na ba?" Vien asked and we all nodded at her. "Okaaay! Let the party begin! Merry Christmas Yohoo! Mojito, mojito!"

I shook my head and eat some sweets, I wasn't planning to get drunk. Kaunti lang ang iinumin ko kasi magda-drive pa ako pauwi. Ayoko din naman istorbohin ang iba kasi kaniya kaniya din naman uwi ang iba, ayokong maging abala.

"Just like the old times... truth or dare!" Seri beamed.

I took a deep breath before letting it go. Here we go again, ano na naman kayang kahihiyan ang ipapagawa nila sakin?

"Spin the bottle!" Lie shouted.

Una itong tumutok kay Kryza na sinagot naman dahil truth and pinili niya. Kumuha ako ng beer at tinungga yun, muntikan ko ng mabuga ang beer na iniinom ko ng tumutok sakin ang bote.

That fast!?

"Okay?" Kinakabahang ani ko.

I sighed deeply when Kry smirked at me. I don't want to choose truth so I'll go with the dare, mawawala din naman ang kahihiyan pero hindi ang sakit na pwede nilang itanong sa akin.

"Truth or dare"

I looked at her and sighed. "Dare"

"Call your man and ask him if he wants to have sex with you"

Namula ako kaya tumawa sila, I know naman kung sino ang tinutukoy ni Kry. Hindi lang naman si Angela ang may alam sa aking dalawa ni Sky.

I sighed and dialed Sky's number, I'm nervous as fuck! Nanginginig pa ako ng ni loud speaker ko ang tawag. Two rings and he answered his phone.

"Hello Cole?"

My heart beat insanely fast, ang lambing kasi ng boses niya. Tapos sasabihan ko lang siya ng hindi maganda... ang sama ko na ata no? Pero dare lang naman.

"Uhmm... Sky?"

Nahihiya kasi talaga ako, sino ba naman kasing hindi? Aba't ikaw kaya magsabi sa lalaki niyan no?

"Yes?"

Tumingin muna ako kay Kryza bago ako nagsalita. "Do you want to have sex with me?" Dere-deretsong tanongko sa kaniya.

Napapikit ako ng mariin ng makitang pinipigilan nilang lahat ang tawa nila. Hiyang hiya na ako dito tapos tatawa tawa lang sila!?

I heard Sky groaned in the other line, I think he was stoping himself. Umiwas parin ako ng tingin at yumuko na lang, I know my face filled with embarrassement.

"Stop bluffing Cole, I still want to court you before that, wag mo akong patigasin"

Napapikit ulit ako ng mariin, so... he's having a hard on talking about this topic? Damn... why does it feel hot all of the sudden?

"Ohh... okay" Mahina kong sabi sabay patay ng tawag.

A loud bark of laugher filled the house, this is embarrassing! I really hate dare! Bahala na sa susunod basta truth na lang ako ng truth!

I spin the bottle and it pointed at Angela. I already know what to do. Hmmm.

"Truth or dare"

"Truth" She said coolly.

I smirked and asked. "That man... do you like him?"

"Sinong lalaki?" Takang tanong ni Angela.

"The man next to your café who always bugs you!"

Napatango tango siya. "Kinda"

Sabi ko na nga ba eh! She likes Yvan, oh well... the guy seems nice. He's friends with Sky, well... I guess. I saw them in the orphanage, that's when I first met Sky.

Angela spin the bottle and it pointed at Iuna, we just play and play until we get exhausted. The others are wasted and the others are sleeping already, I smiled.

I'm lucky to have them right? They're crazy but when it comes to our ups and downs they were always there for each other.

Kaniya kaniya kaming uwi, ang iba umuwi ng mag-isa ang iba naman ay sinundo ng mga lalaki nila. Kaunti na lang ata kaming walang kinakasama eh.

I am little bit tipsy but I can manage, I drove my car safely to my house. Ni hindi ko na nga din namalayan na nakarating na pala ako sa bahay.

Bumaba ako sa kotse ko at nagtaka kung bakit nasa harapan ng pintuan ko si Sky.

"Hey... what are you doing here? It's morning already" Medyo lasing na ani ko.

Pag-alis ko kasi sa bahay ni Rystine kanina ay 1:30AM na. Masyado na din kasi kaming maraming nainom.

"Hey..." He gently look at me.

"Hmm?"

He smiled and pulled me for a hug. "Why didn't you texted me to pick you up? It's dangerous to drive while drunk Cole"

I chuckled, siniksik ko ang ulo ko sa dibdib niya. He smells nice, ang bango. "I can manage. I'm just a little bit tipsy"

"Kahit na... baka maaksidente ka sa ginawa mo"

Ngumuso ako at saka malamlam ang matang tumingin sa kaniya. "Sorry..." I said softly.

He cupped my face and smiled. "Hmm? Why are saying sorry? Did you do anything wrong?"

Tumango ako ng ilang ulit sa kaniya. "That was a dare... I didn't mean to ask for a sex" Mahinang ani ko at siniksik ang mukha ko sa leeg niya.

Why am I being clingy all of the sudden? Is it because of the alcohol? Well... I love being in his arms. Bakit kasi ngayon ko lang siya nakita? Kung sana noon pa... edi hindi ka ako nasaktan.

"It's okay... I understand"

I encircled my arms around his neck and nuzzled his neck. He really smells so nice! Gustong gusto kong inaamoy ang leeg niya.

"Baby... stop that" Tila nahihirapan na sabi nito.

Umiling ako at saka mas nilapit pa ang mukha sa leeg niya. I feel so hot, maybe because of the alcohol. I licked his neck unconsciously that made him groan.

"Fuck... stop it Cole, why are being clingy hmm?"

Hindi ako sumagot at bigla na lang pinalibot ang paa sa bewang niya. He stilled but I just pushed myself closer to him.

"Nicole" He said in a warning voice.

"I wanna sleep"

Bumibigat na ang mga mata ko kaya mas hinigpitan ko na lang ang kapit ko kay Sky. He seems to notice my struggles so he encircled his arms around my back.

"Okay... let's sleep"

Hindi ako sumagot at kumapit na lang ng mahigpit sa kaniya. He get the key inside my bag and opened the door.

Lumakad siya papunta sa pangalawang palapag na bitbit-bitbit ako. Tinuro ko ang kwarto ko at doon niya ako pinasok.

Marahan niya akong binaba sa kama at saka kinumutan. Hindi ako mapakali sa kinahihigaan ko dahil nanlalagkit ang pakiramdam ko.

"Hmmm...." Marahang ungol ko at saka hinila pababa ang damit na suot.

"Fuck!"

Sky stopped me from what I'm doing and gently guide me to sit. "Nicole.. don't you ever undress your clothes in front of me. Baby it's hard okay?"

Marahan akong tumango at saka sinandal ang noo ko sa dibdib niya.

I didn't realize I just dozed off after that. Well... maybe being with Sky makes me comfortable, it makes me at ease. He is really are my solace.