''You did what?'' Mila shouted, shaking her head at her friend, ''Are you out of your bloody mind?''

Leo didn't say a word. He simply burst out in laughter at what Isla told. It was late, and they were the last students in the Great Hall that lingered after dinner.

Mila bent forward, leaning over the table as her elbows struck the wood. Her eyes narrowed in Isla's, ''No, let me get this straight—'' She muttered doubtfully, ''So you're telling me that you jumped off the Astronomy tower?''

Isla pushed her lips together, hearing how ridiculous it sounded when someone else said it, and her face cloaked in embarrassment, ''It wasn't like that, I was just standing there, leaning over the fence and I couldn't think—''

''So you just...'' Mila's mouth twisted, ''Jumped off?''

Leo laughed out again, leaning back in his seat and clutching his stomach, ''This is a bloody circus,'' He chuckled, heaving for air, ''No, but imagine it — I can actually see her falling off. Whom if not Isla would jump off the Astronomy tower?''

''Stop it!'' Isla shook her head, feeling her cheeks as they burnt in a feverish color, ''It wasn't like that. I had a fight with Malfoy, and I was upset, so I was looking out over the edge and I—''

''Jumped off the tower?'' Mila couldn't wrap her head around how someone could possibly jump off the edge, ''You actually fell off the tower? You're not joking with me? You actually—''

''For God's sake—'' Isla muttered, rolling her eyes at her friends as her fingers scratched at the worn wood of the table, ''Yes, Mila. I jumped off the tower. Do you want to hear it again? I jumped off the tower. I jumped off the tower. I jumped off the—''

''And he caught you?'' She still looked shocked, startled to say at least, ''You jumped off the edge, and he apparated down there to catch you?''

''Yes, he caught me,'' Isla lowered as the conversation they'd held afterward clocked her mind again, ''He said he wouldn't. He was so—''

Mila looked over at Leo, her eyes wide in disbelief, ''Can you believe this? That she actually fell off the bloody tower? And that Malfoy caught her?'' Shaking her head as the brown strands of her hair spilled messily around her, ''Doesn't sound like Malfoy to me.''

''Well...'' Leo tried so hard not to laugh again, ''I guess—''

''Don't you dare,'' Isla warned, pushing her palms into the table, and she stood up, ''I don't want to hear this Draco and me rubbish ever again. He didn't even give me my letter back.''

Her mind battled the thought. Thinking about the blond and what he'd asked of her — that he asked her to wait, to wait for him as he gets his head straight and she would.

Isla would wait. She'd wait for him to get his mind cleared from Pansy, and she'd wait for him to want her, but at the same time — she didn't feel as if she could.

It felt to her as if she betrayed Theodore if she did. If she indeed gave herself to the blond in ways she'd been with Theo — she was terrified of him coming back, and all their chances, despite them being low, would be ruined.

Isla didn't know what to do anymore.

She didn't know if she should wait and fight for the boy her heart ached for, even if he was clear that he didn't wish to be with her, or if she was meant to be with Malfoy and wait for him just like he'd asked.

All of it was a never-ending puzzle to her, and she didn't, no matter how hard she tried, make the pieces fit.

''The letter that was from your... mom?'' Leo raised a brow mockingly and his voice taunting, ''Sure it was from your mom?''

Isla's mouth dropped, her eyes hooded as she glared dryly at him, ''I think so. Draco said he lost it, but I'm sure she'll send another one.''

''Bet it was,'' Leo kept his smug attitude, and it caused her to feel utterly annoyed, ''Tell your mother hi from us then—''

''Oh, shove off,'' Isla huffed out, turning around as she walked down the path leading to the entrance of the hall, ''And no funny business in my room tonight!'' She shouted, hearing them both snicker at that.

She strolled her way through the hallways, down the dungeons, and she whispered the password so that she could enter her common room, and just as she did — just as Isla stepped down the stairs and her eyes got used to the gloomy room,

She halted for seconds in her tracks.

Her heart felt as it dropped to the pit of her stomach. She watched Draco, resting on the couch with a girl — the same girl Theodore had been — exactly like he'd done with Isla a few nights prior.

Sitting close to her, smiling and laughing at something she'd spoken.

Isla looked away. Knowing that she shouldn't be upset about it. That she shouldn't feel the nagging sensation within as it chewed at her nerves, but she did. She felt as her fingers balled into fists, and she begged silently to herself that they wouldn't notice her.

Taking slow, quiet steps, she walked past them. Her sight bored at the end of the stairs, not to let them distract her. Isla simply wished to go to her room, closing the door and banning everyone from around her.

She barely had the chance to take her first track up the stairs before she felt a stare burning into her from behind.

''Clarke,''

Pinching her eyes shut, she turned around. Isla pushed her lips into a firm line, raising a brow at the two. Her eyes leveled him, ''Yes?''

''Where were you?'' Draco questioned, harshly, without hesitation and the girl next to him shifted in her seat, turning her back towards Isla, ''It's late, where would you be at this hour—''

Her jaws sharpened, ''It's not any of your business, is it?'' She fired back, as rudely as he did.

''What the fuck is up with—'' Draco growled out, shooting the girl on the couch a swift glare, wishing that she wasn't there to hear this, ''Just answer the damn question, Clarke. Where the fuck—''

Isla felt so stupid. So incredibly foolish for what she was about to do, but as the girl she lived to be — she did it anyway.

''I was with... someone,'' She smirked, provokingly and she allowed the last word to slip out mysteriously, ''And I just have to grab something before I have to get back to him.''

Draco's face fell instantly. Not even a flicker of emotion showed on his cold mantle. Rage fumed around him as he caught the last word, ''Yeah?'' He spat, shoving himself off the couch, ''Who?''

Isla didn't answer. She looked at him just as evilly as he stared at her.

''Tell me who you were with, Clarke. Right fucking now or I swear to God that I'll find him myself and I'll rip his damn head off—''

Her arms folded, tilting her head, ''I'd tell you, but you look busy,'' She bit down her lower lip, knowing just how to arouse him, ''And I'm in a hurry — but I'll tell him you said hi—''

''For fucks sake,'' Draco growled, louder this time. His eyes darted to the girl on the couch as he looked annoyingly at her, and without falter, ''Get out.''

The girl coiled back, shaking her head confusingly, ''What? Now?'' She questioned, standing up in front of him, ''I thought—''

Malfoy took a step back from her, not craving to be near anyone. He was infuriated, ''I said, get the fuck out.''

Bending down to collect her book on the table, the girl sighed out, ''But Draco—''

''No, I said—''

Draco.

It felt like a train hit Isla. It felt like someone slapped her across her face.

He let the girl call him Draco while he kicked her out of his room for doing so. He said he wasn't ready for it, yet he seemed to be ready with anyone but her.

''No,'' Isla mumbled, her arms dropping to her sides. Malfoy cocked his head, and his lips parted at the way he noticed her persona sink.

"I'll go,'' Her voice thinned as she panicked, and she marched up the stairs at a quick pace now.

''Clarke—''

''No, let her go, Draco. We can continue—''

''Don't fucking touch me.''

''What is up with you? We had a great time, and the second she got here—''

''And I told you to get the fuck out.''

''Draco, what the fuck?''

''Clarke—''

It felt sickly within her, and she doubted everything Draco had told her on the courtyard the other day. She didn't understand why — she didn't grasp why he so easily crawled beneath her skin and why she let him.

Why it every time something hurt her in the slightest. She ran away. She fled, and she wished for everyone around her to leave her alone.

Yet this was something else. This didn't just hurt her — this made her upset. Angry almost.

Hearing as his steps echoed behind her, severely — Isla turned around, facing the blond boy as he chased her.

''Clarke, what—'' Draco nearly stumbled into her by her sudden move to spin around, ''What the fuck are you doing?''

Her eyes bored into his. Disbelief dashed in them as she shook her head angrily, ''So what? She gets to call you Draco, but I don't?'' Isla hissed, her teeth gritted, ''That's so—''

''What?'' He snapped, his voice loud and filled with spite, ''That's so what? What is it, Clarke?''

''Insane!'' She shouted. Her hands tangled into her hair, desperately tugging at the roots of it, ''It's insane, Malfoy! It's insane that you asked me to wait for you! It's insane that I'm supposed to wait for you, only to see you cuddling up to someone else! It's so messed up that I can't call you Draco without being kicked out of your room in the middle of the night when everyone is allowed to—''

His jaws clenched and unclenched, taking every vocal she was spitting at him.

''It's fucked up, Malfoy! You're so fucking messed up!'' Isla cursed, her hands dropping from her hair as she shoved him back, ''You're so damn mean for being with that girl when you know how I feel about her—''

Draco snapped his neck, staring her down viciously, ''How do you feel, Clarke? Why is it so fucking messed up of me to spend time—''

''Because it is!'' Her voice cracking at the high pitch, ''You know exactly how I feel about her — about what she and Theodore did. Stop being so damn clueless all the time!''

He didn't budge at her hands, constantly shoving him back. Malfoy stood his ground, towering over her, ''Yeah?'' He spat, ''It's fucking cruel of me to hang out with her, but you're allowed to sneak out and be with other guys? Who was the guy, Clarke?''

Knitting her brows, she stepped back, feeling defeated, ''Are you serious? You're really trying to make this my fault—''

''Who was he?'' Malfoy said again, calmly yet so furiously.

Ignoring him, her head shook, ''Why would you do that? Do you really hate me so much that you—''

''Who was the guy, Clarke?''

''— that you really use her to make me upset? You obviously knew that I wasn't in my room, so why? Why would you—''

''Who was he, Clarke? I'm not fucking asking again.''

''— why would you do that? Why would you want to hurt me like that?''

Draco lost his tamed temper, and his hands gripped her by her shoulders, and he forced her into the stone-covered wall next to them.

His eyes sparkling in fury.

''Who was the fucking guy, Clarke?'' He shouted, inches away from her. Feeling her trembling breaths on his lips, ''Tell me right fucking now who the guy was. Right now, Clarke or I swear to fucking god that I will find him and I will—''

''There isn't a guy, you idiot!'' Isla's voice broke, her hands pushed into his chest again, ''There aren't any other guys! How could it? When I can't even look at anyone else without you and Theodore shoving me into walls or dragging me away?''

Draco blinked quickly, his sight scanning hers.

''Does that make you happy, Malfoy? Does that make you feel better? To know that I'm trapped between the both of you? That I can't blink without thinking of you two? Are you pleased now? Does it feed your bloody ego—'' Her chest heaving and her veins bolted in a fusion of agony and rage.

Swallowing thickly, his fingers tensed around her upper arms, ''Do you think it does?'' He growled, ''Do you think it makes me feel better? That you feel like you're fucking trapped?''

Frowning, her mouth twitched in a grimace, ''What—''

''Yeah?'' Do you? Do you think I want you to feel like you're stuck with me? That you're trapped in some wicked fucking game, Clarke? Yes, I asked you to wait for me, and I'm trying. I'm fucking trying to be someone you don't have to feel stuck with. I even told you about Pansy! Would I have done that if I didn't want you?''

Jerking her head back, she scowled at him, ''Malfoy, what are you—''

He was speaking through his teeth now, intensely as his note kept low, dangerous, ''Yeah, what the fuck am I doing, Clarke? I shouldn't want you. I shouldn't fucking want to be with you because you were with my best friend. You fucked him — he took your damn virginity, and still, I fucking want you.''

He let go of her abruptly as he turned around, dragging his fingers through his hair, ''I'm so damn filthy. You're right. I'm fucking messed up. I'm so fucking sick because all I can think about is you and how fucking well I'd fit between those thighs of yours.''

Isla's eyes widened, shockingly. Her throat tightened.

Spinning around to face her again, he sighed loudly, ''Is that what you want to hear? That I fucking want you? Because I do. I want you so damn bad, Clarke. I can't think. I can't focus because I want you. You're in my head, all the damn time—''

Draco felt as if he'd lose it. He didn't want to confess to the things he was speaking, but at the same time, he couldn't stand against it.

''So you want to fuck me, Malfoy?'' Isla gasped out, her features held emotionless, ''Is that it? You want to fuck me and fuck it out of your system? That's what this is, right? You want to sleep with me. You want to have me — to feel me. You want to feel better about yourself, and then you want to throw me away like you've done all the other times.''

''You're so fucking clueless, you know that, right?'' He gritted, slamming his fist into the wall, on each side of her. Frustrated beyond explanation at her lack of understanding, ''I don't just want to fuck you, Clarke. If that were it — I would've done so already. I would've fucked you the first damn night. But it was never about that, was it?''

Glaring at each other, their noses held only inches apart.

''It was never about sleeping with you or having you first. It's about me fucking wanting you. Why can't you get that through your fucking head?'' He was mad, out of control, as he shouted, ''I couldn't fuck you, because it's not like that. I couldn't let you touch me because you make me feel—''

Rolling his tongue on the inside of his cheek, his chest heaved roughly, ''You make me feel insane. I want you. I want to fuck you, to mark you fucking mine, to ruin you for him. I want to have you in all the damn ways I can have you. I want to push inside you, to fill you up until you can't breathe. I want to destroy you, and then I want you. I want you and that addicting fucking head of yours—''

He needed to catch his breath, calming himself from rambling.

''I want you in all the damn ways I can have you, and I want you to want me, but you don't, do you? You think I'm a bloody maniac for treating you like I did, and I am, yeah? I am a bloody fucking fool for doing everything I've done. I fucking know that, but you make me—''

''Insane,'' She finished for him, making his eyes snap and his teeth grit. Her pulse quickened, ''I know the feeling.''

His shoulders sunk. Realizing that she was fighting the exact same battle as he was.

''Then why are you fighting it?'' He questioned, ''Why are you fighting me—''

''I'm not fighting it! I'm not fighting you!'' She yelled, arching her spine off the wall, but he was as quick to push her back against it.

Draco glared at her, ''That's a fucking lie. All you do is find ways to blame everything on me. Even the shit Theodore has done is my fault—''

''It's easier!'' Isla nearly lost her breath as she shouted, and her head tilted to the rocks behind her, ''It's easier to hate you. It's easier to convince myself that it's your fault because then it doesn't hurt as much when you actually hurt me.''

Draco frowned, puzzled.

''I know I am as much to blame for all of this as you are. I know I say it's your fault, and I hold everything against you — trust me, Malfoy. I'm not stupid. I know, but it's easier because when you actually do something that hurts me, it won't do as much damage.''

He didn't grasp a thing. He didn't understand what she was blurting out, ''Clarke, what the fuck are you—''

''I don't know why I feel like that, Malfoy. I don't understand it because it's supposed to be the other way around, right?'' Her eyes pleading, ''I'm supposed to feel like that with Theodore, aren't I? He's the good one. He's the obvious choice. Not you. He's the one I should be scared of — the one I think would hurt me, right? Not you.''

She drew a breath, and then she exhaled, her eyes drifting from his, ''But it's not. I'm not scared of Theodore hurting me. I'm scared of you hurting me. I'm terrified that you'll hurt me, Malfoy. So that's why. That's why I pin everything on you and why I hold every little thing you do against you because it's easier to hate you.''

Draco was standing close to her, his sight still pierced through her, and he tried to understand everything she'd told, and he couldn't be mad at her anymore. It became so clear to him that she was just as frightened to feel something for him like he was with her.

They were both intimidated by the other. Neither of them was fully capable of comprehending what was happening between them. How they somewhere in the midst of all the chaos — had grown to not loath each other.

''I just can't understand you. I don't get why I'm feeling like this. Why it feels like I hate you more than anything. Like I can't stand you, and the next minute—'' Her eyes flickered back to his, feeling nervous, ''And the next minute—''

''What?'' He rose a brow, daring her to finish her sentence, ''What happens next, Clarke? What are you thinking when you're trying to convince yourself that you don't want me? That you don't want me to make, you scream, or kiss you, or make you drown in the aching pain of me not being inside you?''

Swallowing the doubt she felt, Isla looked back at him, her eyes glued to his, taking in every flicker of anger as it bolted through him, ''And the next minute, I want you."

"The next minute, I want you, Malfoy, and not just to sleep with you. I want you. I want you, and I can't think—''

''Fuck it,'' He growled out, and he smashed his lips to hers.

_____