Chapter 1-12 have been rewritten, so some paragraphs may lack comments.<3

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Isla had never really been in love.

Or she had, yet she hadn't.

She didn't understand.

She didn't quite understand what it took for a soul to get tangled with another, how hard a heart had to pound for it to beat in bearing with someone else's.

It never really made sense to her. All it lived to be was strange.

No one ever told her how it was supposed to feel, how she was meant to think when it came to it.

Her mother ever so said that if you know, you know — but how was she supposed to know when she didn't.

She wasn't too fond of when her mother spoke in riddles, when she simply didn't state one thing but twisted her words into tells that had her head hurt.

How was she supposed to know what love felt like? How was she meant to know where the point of falling for someone took place?

Perhaps it didn't. Perhaps there wasn't a point. Perhaps love at first sight didn't truly exist, and the end of the road everyone ever so talked about wasn't there.

Maybe the movies and books were wrong. Maybe they were made by people who wished to trick others, to make an illusion out of love that wasn't real, all because they knew that there wasn't a thing as love at first sight, one true love, or something called soulmates.

Perhaps she was just meant to fall and fall and fall until someone caught her, or she crashed. Either in love or in heartbreak.

Still, nothing made sense.

She never had sex either.

Her mother told her it was good, that she waited until she was ready.

Isla didn't know if she would ever be ready.

She didn't know if she wanted to be ready.

Not quite sure if she would ever be able to give herself to another person in the way she was meant to do when it came to sex.

Mostly, it frightened her.

It intimidated her, thinking about it, to think about falling for a person so hard that she would give them everything, that she'd grant them with every last inch of her body, every single piece of her mind.

To be in love wasn't anything for her.

Not when the person she once believed herself to have been in love with, died, and she was left behind to mend for herself. She was young, inexperienced. Isla didn't want to be experienced. Not within love.

She just wanted to be.

Shaking her head loose of the thoughts she carried, Isla reached for the last sweater still resting on her bed, giving the envelope on her pillow a nervous glance.

''Did you see the note on the table, dear?'' Her mother called out for her, the sound of pots and pans slammed together bounced between the walls, ''You got your letter late last night.''

She couldn't possibly have missed it since her mother placed it on her nightstand, right over her books.

Sometimes that woman was more than obvious.

''I don't want to open that bloody letter,'' She mumbled back, silently within the flesh of her own mouth.

''What was that?'' Her mother caught it anyway, ''Did you just—''

''I haven't opened it yet!'' Isla shouted back as she slammed the trunk shut and dragged it with her out in the hallway. It weighed more than it did the last time she was struggling to bring it with her. ''I didn't get a chance to look at anything last night.''

''Does Isla really have to leave, mom?'' Her sister stepped up next to her mother as they both waited for her to come downstairs, '' She's always gone. Why can't she go to school as I do? And come home every afternoon?''

Her mother smiled as she stroked a hand over her little sister's hair, ''We have talked about this, Lucy. Isla can't go to an ordinary school. She needs to go to a school where they can help her, and so will you next year."

''I know.'' The child pouted before they both winced back by the noisy sounds of Isla dragging her trunk of clothes and books down the stairs. With each slam and with every step, a trail of curses muttered off her lips.

''Here. I think it might be your choices." Her mother eagerly handed her the letter, watching impatiently with wide eyes for her daughter to open it, but to her surprise, she didn't.

Isla tucked the letter into her pocket as she hunched down to her knees with open arms for her sister to hug her goodbye.

''I'll miss you, silly,'' Isla mumbled into her fluffy hair. Her fingers stroked over the soft strands, and it ached her heart, realizing that it would take another four months before she was able to wrap her arms around Lucy again, ''I'll miss you like crazy. You know that, right?''

''I know.'' Her sister hugged her back solidly. Her fingers tangled into Isla's hair, and she lightly pulled it back to face her, ''I will miss you too, Issy.''

''Don't call me that.'' Isla shot her an amused smile, standing back up on her feet, ''Only mom can call me Issy, you know that.''

Lucy's eyes rolled as she stepped back, leaving room for their mother to say her farewells, ''But you are going to open the letter, right? And soon? And you'll send me one of those owls when you know who you're assigned to?''

Isla felt a sigh fall off her lips as she wrapped her arms around her mother, and she buried her nose into her short-cut hair. Her mother smelled similar to home, and calmness, ease, and leaving something so soothing wasn't an easy thing for the half-blood girl.

She wasn't quite ready to go back to school, especially not after the war and everything that tended to come with it. Even if a fair ruling held on the horizon, most of the wizarding world stayed in utter depth.

Her father had been a casualty in the battle between good and evil, and he left her, her sister, and her mother behind.

Isla wasn't certain if she would ever have to return to Hogwarts for their eight-year, and nothing had been set in stone until two days ago when the letter welcoming her back arrived. A lot of things had changed drastically since she was last standing on the steps to the magical castle.

For one — a new law had earned its way to power, and she feared it.

She was scared of the letter holding in her pocket because she knew, just as her mother had told her, that her choice was penned to it.

''Isla,'' Her mother slightly shook her daughter back and forth to gain her lost attention, ''You have to tell me who you're assigned to.'' But the talks about her indefinite choice made her temper fail, and eyes rolled at her mother's eager question.

''I will.'' She muttered back, letting her arms slip of her mother's tense body, and she turned to the trunk still waiting for her at the front door — her shoulders sunk as she watched her mother place a hand over her sister's head.

She couldn't believe that this was it. After over a year in safety within the walls of her home, she was now leaving it and won't return until Christmas break.

''We'll miss you, dear.'' Her mother's face shifted into pure loss, and her sister fought to keep her tears in check.

Isla pushed her lips tight, and she looked away. Turning her face to the door, she whispered, ''I'll miss you more.''

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Isla shouldered her way through the crowd of students on the train as she searched for her friends. Those who were still with them, of course.

Many good, fair, and worthy students lost their lives to the war, fighting for what they believed to be right and suddenly, the train, which usually bloomed with eager students, wasn't as full anymore.

''Isla!'' The familiar voice beamed behind her as she spun around, ''Over here!''

It was Mila, one of her dearest of friends, and luckily one of the humans who survived their horrible past, even if her parents didn't.

''Finally.'' Leo muttered from his seat, looking up at her with a slight nod, ''We thought you were going to miss the train.''

Isla's eyes rolled at the Slytherin boy, ''I bet you did, didn't you?'' She hunched down next to him. Her shoulder against his as she dragged her knees up to her chest. Her eyes fell over all of the people in the carriage, looking for her best friend.

''Where is—''

''Well, well, look who finally made it,'' Ava smirked in the passage between the compartments. Her hair was as lively as she lived to be, ''I was looking for you, we thought—''

''That I was going to miss the train,'' Isla shot her friend an amused grin, tapping her fingers against her own knee, ''So I've heard.''

Ava's eyes rolled as she slipped down onto the seat next to Mila's, and she studied her friend. Ava and Leo had been her friends since childhood. It was always the three of them, and ever since Leo seemed to fall heads over heels in love with that Ravenclaw, sitting next to Ava, she joined them too.

Mila was perfect for them. It was a perfect fit. Some calm weather into their chaotic friendship. It wasn't easy, having two best friends that were also twins. They tended to get on each other's nerves more than they tripped on hers.

''So...'' Ava placed her elbows on the wooden table between them. Her eyes intensely snapped all over Isla, scanning her friend from head to toe, ''Did you get your letter?''

She kept her sight locked on Isla with flashes of curiosity in her eyes, and the undertone of her high-pitched voice scored curiously.

''I did.'' Isla gritted her jaw as her breath turned a bit shallower, and her fingers tapped her knee anxiously now, ''Late last night.''

''Me too.'' Ava rolled her eyes, giving her friends a dry look, ''I got Zabini and some other kid — a Hufflepuff that I don't even know of.''

The lids of Isla's eyes broadened at the name. Blaise, one of the mightiest in Slytherin. She hadn't heard much about him more than he was kind, respectful, and a good friend of many. He made it out of the war in one piece, and even if Isla didn't know him, she was happy he was safe.

''I just can't see myself marrying either of them.'' Ava's back slammed against the backrest of her seat, ''I still think this new marriage law is a stupid idea. I mean, yes. It's good for the future and all. We need to keep the bloodlines in check, but what about us? Are we just supposed to settle and fuck to make babies with someone we don't even know?''

''Language.'' Leo sighed loudly. His chin rested in his palm as he peered out through the window of the moving train, ''You need to think about your bloody—''

''Hah!'' Ava called him out with a sarcastic shout, ''What were you going to say? Exactly. Language, Leo.'' She shot back before rolling her eyes to look at Isla again.

Isla didn't even react to their attempts to fight anymore.

''I mean. I have to go with Blaise. We're in the same house, and if father found out that the other choice was a Hufflepuff — he would lose it.''

Isla nodded stiffly as she sought to keep up with Ava's rapid words.

''So, who did you get?'' Ava kept on pushing as Isla stayed quiet in her seat. Her chin rested on her knees, and her mind fled reality again. It was something she usually did when she lost connection to the world around her.

She always fell lost in her own head and buried herself in the mess within the walls of her skull. She twisted a lock of hair in between her fingers as her mind wandered, far, far away — and lately, she seemed to be diving towards the thoughts of her father and how her mother now had to make it on her own.

''Isla, are you serious?'' Ava nearly shouted, making her flinch out of her trance as she stared blankly at her friend, ''Why are you always zoning out? Can you answer my question?''

''Yes, of course.'' Her cheeks burnt in color, and she felt ashamed. Shaking her head, she blinked at her friend, ''What did you—''

''Who did you get? In your letter? Who are your two choices?'' The same question came out in all different shapes and forms from her best friend as Isla kept her empty stare.

''I didn't open it yet.'' She stated as gasps trailed off all of their tongues and her friend's eyes snapped to hers.

Leo, Mila, and Ava just looked at her.

''What?'' She choked out, confused as to why they were all looking at her so strangely, ''What is it?''

''You didn't open your letter?'' Leo's features held a shocked gaze, ''I mean, even I find that stupid.''

''Right?'' Ava, for once, agreed with her brother, ''That is stupid. It's rubbish.''

''That really isn't smart." Mila fused with the conversation, ''They know who gets them, you know? I mean, the boys also received letters, and they know who is picking them, but not who they're choosing between.''

''Do they?'' Isla swallowed, looking startled, ''Both of them?''

''Yes, both of them.''

Her mind wandered again, and she shut her eyes closed out of the embarrassment she felt. Just the thought of someone opening their letter to see her name had her insides flipping, her heart pounding.

Her skin shivered as she circled how two boys would have ripped their envelopes open, hopeful of getting someone they perhaps wanted, only to be assigned her.

''We're opening that letter as soon as we're getting to our room, you know.'' Ava glared at her, and she wasn't asking. Her friend was demanding her before she did the exact thing her twin brother was doing. Her elbow struck her armrest, and her chin tucked into the palm of her hand.

Isla could feel the letter still in her pocket, and it rustled as she yet again, uncomfortably, shifted in her seat.

This would be more than an interesting year — to say at least.

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