Chapter 40: Broken dreams

Arnav's POV-

The new morning of a day started with new hopes and new beginning in their life. After a long tiring night, I slowly move over the bed whispering only one name.

''Khushi..''

My heart, my soul my entire existence dependent on her. Last night she was so mad at me. But I am sure she must have been calm a bit. If not, I will pacify her in my own way. I smiles recalling all he incidences. Last night she came to meet me. She didn't leave me alone. But does she stay? Ofcourse not. How can she..She is uncomfortable and I will never trigger her emotions.

I am lucky to get another chance. I won't let her go this time even if she was supposed to leave me I won't allow her and lock her up. My heart whispers her name and my face brightened imagining her everywhere. Firstly in dream and now everywhere. Damn what's wrong with me. That women made me crazy.

The feeling of being in love is so special, so divine, yet beautiful which cannot express into words. I never thought after Kaira I fall for any girl. But that was my stupidity. I had never felt any connection with that cunning lady. But with Khushi, it is something else. Khushi was and is my first love. What actually love is I realized after Khushi came to my life. Whenever i think about my past, my heart pierced to think how badly I used to treat Khushi. I recollect all the incidents from starting till end. When for the first time I saw her in my designed lehenga in farmhouse, my blood boiled. Monster resurfaced inside me which provoked me to rip her dress. Stupid me. What a monster I used to be. I thought all women were gold digger like Kaira. All my anger and frustration I had been exploded on Khushi without any reason. I don't even know how many times I hurt that innocent soul with my words and actions on numerous occasions. Still she fall in love with me. I am sorry Khushi, I am really sorry for every single second, every single minute and every single moment of those painful 8 years. I tortured you, scared you, manipulate you. I gave you so many reason to hate me but all you gave me only love. All I deserve to get punished for my horrendous crimes. You transformed a ruthless, inhuman monster into a completely new human being. I promise to myself whatever you went through, I will compensate by showering all my love to you.

He close his eyes exhausted. His body is heavily paining. Probably due to fever. But all his fatigue rushed away once I recalls that beautiful dream.

It was magical and aesthetic, just like Khushi. How desperately Khushi kissed me during confessing her love. Her sweet fragrance lingers in his mouth. How badly I wished my dream not to broke. I wanted to pamper my Khushi. I wanted to love her, hug her, kiss her and pour out everything my heart felt for her. Damn! Why does it feels so real? I asked to myself and then suddenly I sense something which made me jump out of skin. My eyes shot open when I found myself completely naked inside the blanket.

What the hell! Why I am naked? Who made me..No!! Not possible... Damn why I don't remember anything? My heart and eyes screaming for her, I am afraid. I am totally clueless what mishap created by me. Guilt already broke me and this new set of problem coarse me. Whenever I close my eyes, blur images of Khushi above me on bed flashing to me. What if I force her. No..No..No..this is not possible. During past, I made a terrible deed forcing upon her, not this time. I don't want to loose her. She is my everything. But if she leave me? If she hates me? Stop it Arnav. You are over-reacting. If anything had happened, then you must be remember right. Since you won't, then it's obvious all is normal. Moreover, Khushi is not ready for this. She will never allow me to..

''Khu..sh..ii..'' It click me. How is she? I call her with my voice shaking. How do I face her? I sigh and took my discarded clothes. But the moment my gaze spotted her dress, everything fall apart. Shock radiate me. No, this can't be true. We cannot get intimate..Not until I tell her the truth..Upon that this throbbing headache..Damn why I can't remember anything.. What had happened between us..? Only Khushi could answer this.

''Khushi?? You there?'' I call her hearing the sound of shower. Juggling with mind and heart, I move to go before wearing my pant. I knocked on the door when no response come out.

''Kal kya hum..mujhe nahi pata kaise..I am sorry if I..Kh..'' (Did we..I don't know..) I have no idea how to start the conversation. For a moment, I waited for her. By getting no response, slowly I make my way inside the washroom. She is not there. Closing the shower knob, I come out and move out my room in search of her.

Fear of losing her once again knock me. I check every damn place, every damn corner but she is nowhere. Does she left me? Does she hate me again? Does she.. It shook my entire being. My knees buckled and I lost my balance and collapse on the ground.

''Kh..shhhh...iiii...''

~~~

Third Person POV-

Ananya ran behind Khushi who is striding toward the parking area in a very super fast mood. Her reaction was totally unexpected. It becomes impossible for Ananya to ananyse what is running in her mind. Whether she believes her or not. She has no idea. There is a firm expression on her face and eyes look blank. She cannot predict anything at present. Her plan to expose Neev probably not get fully successful. When Khushi reached his apartment, he turned the table and put the entire blame on her friend saying she is harassing him. Neev is a very cunning person. He stay alert even during under the effect of sedatives. Unfortunately he did not confess any of his crime. She shouldn't underestimate him. She thought she is trapping him in her plan but in reality it was entirely his plan. He wanted her to bring Khushi near him so that he can manipulate and poison Khushi mind against them. God! How can I be a fool. Now Khushi will think Arnav too was involved with me. No.. it doesn't look like she believed him. She trust no-one. Neither me nor neev. Why do I feel there is something-else that is the reason of her misery.

Keeping her emotion aside, Ananya saw Khushi start her car. She run after her.

''Please Khushi listen to me first..'' Coming in front of her vehicle, Ananya block her path.

''LEAVE MY WAY..'' Said Khushi rudely.

''Not until you hear me..'' Fuming angrily, Khushi bite her lips to stop herself from exploding. But this lady making all her attempts impossible. ''You have to believe me. Before you came, he was trying to force upon Nisha.''

''Oh really?'' Moving down from her car, she shut the glass door angrily and walk to her. ''You think all men were like your husband. It's your plan to prove my friend a casenova who is lusting on every other girl..disgusting! Give me a break Ananya. He has a girl of your daughter's age and most importantly, he loves his wife more than your so called husband claim to love me.

''What is wrong with you..'' Said Neev to Ananya coming toward them, pretending to be innocent and victimized. ''Don't you feel ashamed doing all this to me. You and Nisha spike my drink only to put my image down in front of Meera.''

''Stop your drama, Neev. You cannot fool Khushi. She has seen what you were doing with Nisha under the close door..''

''I was not in my senses, Khushi. I thought my wife..--''

''Enough both of you..Stop creating drama on road and spare me..'' Saying this, Khushi moved to go toward her car but Ananya held her hand.

''Dare to touch me..'' Neev smiled evilly staring at Ananya which is not go unnoticed by Khushi. But he immediately pretend to act normal.

''My husband is waiting for me. Kindly excuse me..'' Said Khushi after checking time on her mobile.

''What?'' His face lost the color. ''You still wanted to go back to that jerk. Khushi, He and Ananya are using you just like 3 years ago.''

''No-one dare to use Meera shergil. Neither Arnav nor anyone else.'' Meera said sarcastically and drove off.

Chalo is sab mein mujhe yeh toh pata chal gaya tu zinda hain..'' (Atleast I came to know you are alive) Neev grab Ananya's waist from behind putting incredible pressure over her body.

''Leave me you monster..'' Ananya struggle hard to remove his grip, but he tightened his hold.

''Chod mujhe kutte..leave me..''

''How can I leave you without doing anything..I got you after ages..let's have some fun. If not your sister, you are there to entertain me for the time being'' His touch and words push her toward the edge of insanity. She kicked his sensitive spot causing him to fall flat on the ground.

''You bitch how dare...ahhh..''

''Aww feeling pain..this is just a trailer..I have planned few better things in my head..just keep patient and breathe some fresh breathe. Your dead ending is near.''

''Teri itni himmat..tu bhul gayi vo sab.. agar yaad nahi toh yaad dilau main kya kar sakhta hu..'' (You won't dare..did you forgot or shall I make you remember) A tremor ran through her body as she understood where he is directing.. A shooting pain within her body when he trigger her sentiments.

''This Ananya varma is not a weak, naive and timid to whom you used round in your tip. Your blackmailing not going to break my determination. I will tell Khushi everything you did with me and with your wife..Khushi thinks you loves your wife but when she actually knew the reason who is a real Meera Shergil, she loath you the most''

''As if she will believe you..'For her, you are just a second woman who has eyes on her husband...she will never believe you..'' He laughs cunningly and got up from the floor.

''Indeed she won't but those proofs I have are enough to expose your deeds. You are forgetting those videos and photographs are still with me. And for your kind information, I made another footage too where you confessed everything how you killed Ishita's mother and put entire blame on Arnav.'' She announced and spun around to walk away.

''Wait wait..where are you going sweetheart..I love your new attitude but you are forgetting who I am and what I am capable of doing..If I can kill my beloved wife, used my daughter a pawn to have Khushi, you can imagine what I can do to your sexy and beautiful sister..''

''You cannot have Khushi, not in this birth..She belongs to Arnav and that day is not far when she accept Arnav wholeheartedly..''

His smile deepened and he come near to her and whispered something that shattered her entire form.

''No..You can't do this..I won't allow you to hurt my..''

''Of Course I do..''

''What do you want..'' He smirk coming close to her and pull her against him..

''Now you behaving like a good submissive..'' Brushing her lips against his, he made his way toward his apartment taking her into his arms. She stares him like a dead corpse while he smiles in victory taking her to his bed. Totally oblivious, there is one person standing in a corner, who already witnessed his dirty deeds.

~~~

Arnav was getting mad by every passing second. Khushi's absence made him insane. Thankfully Chahat is not at home, he sent her with Ishita to avoid further problems. iIf Chahat would be at home, it becomes hard for him to act normally and she has a habit to read his eyes. Sometimes he wonders how that small chota packet understand her papa so well.

Chahat rang him 5th times and insists she wanted to talk to her mumma. What will I say to her. Somehow he made an excuse but my brave girl is very sharp to catch my lie. Sooner or later she will suspect I am making excuses and if by chance she sense the trouble on the way, it becomes impossible for Ishita to handle her and she come back running to me and put entire house over her head. She is being so possessive and protective for Khushi. I have to find Khushi before she came back.

It has been a whole day he hadn't seen Khushi. Don't know how and where she went missing. Now he is getting really tensed and worried. He tries to locate her in office, inquire to each and every employee, even ask her PA, but here is no news about her.. Now I have to take help from cops. But no police will take any action till 24 hours. I can't wait any more. I have to search for her. If needed, I give my life but never let anyone to harm her. He touch her photograph in his wallet emotionless. Just then he heard the sound of the doorbell. Immediately, he got up from his spot and rushed to open the door.

''Where the hell you were been?'' He hugged her desperately. ''Do you have any idea what I went through without you..?'' She stays still and there is no emotion on her face. He broke off after a while and touch her face.

''You okay? Oh god how you got injured. Show me.'' His heart skipped a beat seeing bandage over her head.

''I am fine Arnav. Relax..Just a small accident''

''ACCIDENT? HOW?''

''Stop interrogating like a CBI. You are my husband not a stalker. Why the hell you call my office staff?.''

''Because I was worried for you. I thoughtt--''

''I am not a kid, Arnav neither you are my guardian. I know how to take care of myself. I learnt to live alone when you left me and I don't like anyone's interference in my personal space. Did you understand!''

''Khushi, I am your..''

''I know you are my husband. Don't need to remind me how you gained the victory over me by tying me in this stupid marriage.''

''Why you are saying like this. Don't you love me?'' She didn't reply to him just stare him plainly.

''Khushi..'' His voice choked with his heart beating violently. ''You said that day you love me..Your confession give me a new life, we spent so many beautiful moments together. Don't tell me it was fake.'' She rolled her eyes getting annoyed and moved to walk away instead he grab her shoulder and look deep into her eyes.

''You love me, dare to deny that. I feel your love every-time I got close to you..'' She utters no word but her silence told him the truth. He brushes off that doubt from his mind and caress her wound tenderly. She pushed his hand, but he keep intact holding her waist tightly.

''Hurt me, punish me, kill me or do everything, but I will not give permission to anyone to hurt my Khushi, not even you.'' He said with maddening rage pulling her deadly close. Sooner his madness transform into softness within an instant hearing her hiss. His voice reflect the pain seeing her injury. Seeing her protest, he forcefully made her sit on comforter and started to clean her wound.

''How does it happen?'' Tell me who dare to hurt you, I will burn that person alive..'' He apply the ointment and blow her with care reflecting his face.

''You know the answer, Mr raizada..'' She replied sarcastically. Her answer stop him midway.

''Then punish me..'' He said painfully.

''I am no-one to punish you.''

''Why did you forgive me then? You should torture me more instead of accepting me.'' He reply keeping his eyes fix upon her.

''Who told you I forgive me..everything is utterly fake'' She said within her heart.

''You say something?''

No! She reply immediately putting a artificial smile on her face.

''I know my princess are mad at me for what i did outside your office but Baby that doesn't mean you torture me like this whole day. You know how much I am afraid by your violent avtar.'' He chuckle to lighten her mood. But she stay stern. There is no emotion on her face. Just pure annoyance. ''Where were you all day..'' She looked back at him and then back his hand, holding her with authority. She shrugged off her hand from his grip.

''Arnav, I am feeling suffocating,,can I rest?'' She said and got up.

''Okay..'' She walked two three steps away when he again call her from behind.

''Our daughter wanted to talk to you..she is very restless and wanted to hear her mumma voice''

''Not now..I am hell tired..'' Reply Khushi while walking ahead.

''But..''

''Goodbye Mr raizada..'' Saying this, she dismiss to her room. But he stays there motionless analysing her features. Her last phrase still echoing to him. He tries to console himself that all is fine and she is not going to leave him but her cold behaviour conveying something is terribly wrong. Does it related to the night we spent? Stop making assumption, Arnav. Try to remember the things what had happened last night instead of speculating unnecessarily..

~~~

Whole night she didn't come out of her room. She lock herself entire night, even Arnav didn't disturb her because he understood something terrible went wrong. However, he let her stay alone. Seeing the atmosphere at home, he extend Chahat stay at Ishita for a day. He don't want Khushi to stress more. Entire night he spends at living area on a small sofa, waiting for Khushi. He wanted to talk to her. At first he had doubts but seeing her changed behavior he could clearly sense something bothering her.

Next morning, Khushi come out from her bedroom. Her face become pale. Dark circle form and her eyes look puffy like she don't sleep entire night. Meera never let her personal life mixed with professional one. Till date it never happened she sleep till late night and skip any meeting. But today it happened. She get startled to check the time on wall clock. She on her mobile cell and saw so many missed call. Some from PA and some from Neev. For a moment, she went lost in a deep thought. A beam of sun ray hit her eye-sight which distract her. That's when her eyes fall on the person she least wanted to see or spoil her mood.

He is standing near the balcony staring at something deeply. She sigh deeply pondering something deeply before making a way toward him. Moving toward him, she took heavy steps forward and reach him.

''umm..Arnav..I..I wanted to tell you something..Are you listening?''

Arnav's POV-

I am staring at the motion of the ocean while striking the hard rocks. My life is like an ocean. A cold breeze touch my skin but suddenly I sense I started drowning. Other than darkness I can't see anything clearly. My knees were bleeding because the hand I wanted to hold expecting her to support me not ready to comfort me. My mind went blank. I turn around for help. I saw a blur image and I started screaming for help. I become breathless. Suddenly the calm sea took drastic turn and water level comes to my neck and I will be completely drowned. I am dying. Sadly there is no one to hold me, to save me. My life is ending here without fulfilling the dream of Khushi.

''Arnav..'' I jerk up with an instant which scare the opposite person. I come back to my senses and then realized my reaction scares the opposite person. To my astonishment, it is Khushi. She lost the balance and I prevent her from falling. She got uncomfortable, I noticed that. Before she never behave like that. What changes happened in a night? She remove my hand from her waist and inch back. The hesitation in those eyes make me die.

''Are you okay?''

''Yeah..'' She reply with a weak sound.

''What happen Khushi. I am noticing you since long time. You are behaving weirdly. Does anything happen? Did i did something which I shouldn't..Did I..cross..my..limit..'' It took me a lot of courage to speak up. But I have to otherwise i will go mad. This one thought killing me each and every second all day and night.

''What do you mean..?'' Her question upon question frustrates him. He gritted his teeth to calm his anger.

''You know what I mean, Khushi. I am asking about last night. I don't remember anything. Tell me the truth..''

''Tell me what I am thinking is not true..tell me nothing happen between us..tell me that I..'' I paused to took at her face. But got no reaction.

''Say something dammit. Your silence killing me. When I woke up, I was naked. Last night I remember you were with me..did we..'' She immediately ignore meeting his gaze.

''How is my baby? when she will come back..? I am missing my baby terribly..'' I quickly held her hand stopping her to move.

''Look at me..I said look at me, Khushi..''

''Come on Arnav. You are over-reacting. It's not our first time. You behaved like I took away your virginity.'' She started laughing. ''Relax I will not affect anyone..everything will stay as it is..Anyways I came to ask you if you need coffee..I ammm..''

''Is it a joke for you? How could you take this so casually. It will affect you more because you are a women and I do care for your dignity THE MOST.. His statement made her laugh harder.

'''OMG..You and talking about my dignity and all..Are you Arnav or someone else..'' Her mocking statement trigger him really hard. I grab her shoulder suppressing his anger.

''You mean we DID it..'' I ask her one more time hoping to get a clear response.

''Relax I will not reveal anything to your first wife. You enjoy me and I enjoy you. THAT's ALL..You needed sex so I did you like a good wife. Now don't act innocent. It's you who were not letting me go and keep on urging me to stay with you. Upon that you are shivering so I just saved you giving you body heat like last time..remember..'' His face lost it's color and she notice his grip on her hand get loosened.

We..had..why..didn't you stop me..

How can I disobey my customer..It is my duty to satisfy you... Whatever happen last time, I'll not happen again. I am on pills. We will keep this a secret..Oh come on, Arnav. You are giving reaction as If I got pregnant. Your wife will not got to know about our one night stand. Don't worry I am content to be your mistre... He stop her voice putting hand on her lips.

This new set of revelation crush me. She did it as a duty. She still think herself a mistress..how disgusting I become. I took her advantage. How stupid I am. All the time she kept hiding her pain and I thought she had forgotten the past. But who will forget or forgive it so easily. I thought I got my old Khushi back. I am ashamed to even took straight into her eyes. What she might have felt.

''I am sorry Khushi..'' Hiding my tears.

Why you are saying sorry?

''Because I used you..I used you AGAIN..'' She chuckled and shook her head. He saw her going away. I made up my mind. I will tell her everything. After this whatever will be her decision I will accept.

''Wait..''

''What happened?''

''There is something I have hide from you.

Is there anything left? Anyways shot..

''After knowing this, you will probably hate me. But at that time I had no choice. I have to do this for your daughter.

Say it straight. Arnav. I have to get ready for office. Already I got very laste.

You and me are not married. I mean..we..

What?

OUR MARRIAGE IS FAKE, KHUSHI..YOU ARE NOT MY WIFE..Those papers in which I took your sign were fake. Our marriage is a complete LIE..

Earth come down beneath her feet.

''Khushi..'' She showed her palm.

''Please trust me, Khushi. All I did only to unite a daughter from her mother. Your little Khushi was vulnerable. She needs your love. I don't want to force you so i make you believe we got married and..'' I know I did a horrible mistake. Once again I broke her trust.

I never wanted to force her to get marry. I wanted her to marry me when she is willingly ready. Not like that. But now I realize how wrong I was. I once again lost her. She will..she hates me..she hates me..I lost my Khushi once again..

I keep my head down, not having any courage to look at her and witness the hate in her eyes that always shine with love for me. 

''Fantastic..what an incredible plan..'' Came a voice from other end and there enter another person into the scene. By seeing the face, his face color drained. There is an unusual smile on Khushi's face greeting the person..

''Meet my special guest, Mr Raizada!''

To be continued!

Precap: Arnav will receive his Karma.

_______________________________________

Sorry for the delay. I have drafted many days ago but have no system so didn't posted. Next chapter is half completed will post it soon. 

Please give votes and comments to get early update. Tomorrow is my holiday. If I will be in a mood, I will think about posting an update tomorrow.

Merry Christmas:)