✧

Immediately after I was released from the hospital a couple of days later, I made it my mission to find Brenda. The solution in my mind was to contact Antonio for her number considering it diminished from my mind over the course of months that had passed. But to my misfortune, he had flown out to Los Angeles to set up a few car dealerships.

With gratitude, he had visited me in the hospital after the phone call with Prince and supplied me with his phone number and a bouquet of flowers. His concern for my well-being warmed me slightly and allowed me to be open to agreeing to visit him out in Los Angelos whenever I had the chance.

Concerning the Brenda situation, it seemed that I would have to wait it out considering I didn't have an idea on where she resided in Canada. The immediate go-to was her cousin's home since her parents still resided in Minneapolis to my knowledge. But when I knocked on the door I was answered by her cousin, Lauren who voiced that Brenda had only stopped off briefly before leaving back out.

It set another delay back in my plans of meeting up with her, until I was rewarded with another phone call while in the midst of resting on the couch of my mother's home.

Swiping up the phone, I immediately sat up when I heard her familiar feminine tone.

"I heard you were looking for me?"

    Muting the television, I pull my knee up to my chest. "Are you still in Canada?" The only reason I wanted to know was to confirm that she was at the party, and that Prince wasn't just lying to me again.

    "No, I was there to visit my cousins a couple of days ago." Brenda smoothly answers, making me bite my lip. "Why?"

    I scoff, feeling a splash of irritation course through me at her coy attitude. "Let's just get this over with. Why are you supplying Prince with updates on the things I do here?"

Her slight laugh unsettles me, "So he told you."

"Yeah. I haven't spoken to you since you were Indiana so why are discussing what I do with people who don't need to know?" I question, irritably.

"Don't need to know?" She asks incredulously. "Isn't he your boyfriend — oh wait, I forgot ya'll were just friends."

"Whether he's my boyfriend or not, what I do doesn't concern you. At all." Questions towards Brenda's actions still filled my head, but as I heard mumbling on her end I was prevented from asking them.

"Darren wants to speak with you." Brenda nonchalantly announces, making me collapse against the couch in irritation.

"No." I disapprove. "I didn't pick up the phone to speak to him. I'm talking to you—"

"Here he is." She successfully cuts me off before seemingly handing Darren the phone. I almost hang up the phone to avoid taking to Darren but once his voice resonates into the phone, I have no other choice but to listen.

"Denise.."

"Darren, please put Brenda back on the phone." I request with as little patience in my voice that I can reveal.

"Brenda told me you were in the hospital, are you okay?" At this point, his concern was irritating to the ear and I didn't want to entertain the conversation.

"I'm fine, now put Brenda back on." My voice holds authority and it seems that without a second thought, the phone gets passed off back to Brenda. "I really don't have the energy for this. I just want to know what your motives are here. What are you gaining from telling Prince this?"

   "Call this, payback. Your sister's been yapping at the mouth about what I did to you to the point that I can barely visit my family up here without people hounding me."

The only inference I could make, was that she was referring to Renee. Now that Brenda explained her ludicrous reasonings for spilling details about the party to Prince, I regretted telling Renee about what happened. I cursed myself for expecting her to keep her mouth shut.

"Well, that's on her. Don't drag me into that. But, I'll talk to her." Even though I shouldn't be doing Brenda any favors, it was for my own benefit. I couldn't trust that Prince would refuse to answer Brenda's calls even after he said he would. So for extra confirmation, I was willing to talk to Renee in order for Brenda to stop.

"That's all I want. By the way I'm back in Minneapolis and I happened to see that Prince is performing a show in First Avenue, thought you might be interested.." Her words made me anxious.

"I'm not." I deadpan.

     Brenda hummed, "I know that's a lie, Denise. We were best-friend's, I know how you think. Just come, maybe he wrote a couple songs about you." Soon after that, she cut the line short making me pull away the phone from my ear to look at it. The last thing I wanted to do was see Prince at this point, but the curiosity was eating at me.

    Inside, I had a feeling Prince knew that his appearance at First Avenue  would resort back to me. My presence is what he was expecting of me, I thought with a shake of my head. I settled on refusing to feed into his games and instead dialed another number.

It rang for a while, until a voice picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Morris?" I wanted to confirm.

    "Hey, Vanity baby where you been? You went and pulled a hoodeni on all of us when we're were in LA." Not wanting to rehash the reasons concerning why I left Los Angeles, I decided to ask a question of my own.

     "Are you still there?"

     "No, we came on back to Minneapolis. Prince wanted us in the studio and some people wanted to see their families in between without the constant flying back and forth, so he figured we'd come back home." Prince's decision sounded considerate, which was strangely ironic at this moment to me.

    Lifting up my form I hummed. "When are you plannin' on coming back? Prince already got Brenda and Susan workin' on stuff for ya'll second album."

   Hearing this new bit of information, I furrowed my brows. Even though I wasn't surprised Prince had began to produce music for Vanity 6's second album, I felt upset for being left out of the loop of recordings.

     "Has he?" Morris grunted as an answer. "He never communicated that with me."

     "Well there really ain't no point for him too. I mean, you're all the way out in Canada while we in Minneapolis bustin' our asses for our next albums."

     I paused, taking in the tone of Morris' voice."Am I just overthinking things or are you upset with me?"

    Morris sighed, "I'm not upset with you." He paused. "Well, kind of. But it ain't your fault, I get why you left it's just— he's really been a larger pain in the ass since you left."

I scoffed, "More than usual, huh?"

"Yes." Morris confirmed in exaggeration making me bite my lip.

     "I'm really not up for going out there to see him—"

     "Listen, I get that. I get your upset 'cause of what he did. But don't make us all suffer baby." I rolled my eyes at his complaints.

     "How do you even know what happened?" I suddenly asked, coming to the realization that I never communicated with Morris on the reasons why I left LA to begin with.

     He chuckled, "It ain't that hard to put two and two together. With you leavin' and then his pissy attitude not even days later, I had an idea on what happened."

     Prince naturally had an attitude, so I couldn't imagine his attitude currently. "Well, I'm not sure if I can even make it out there tonight."

     "Who said anything about tonight?"

    "Isn't he performing at the First Avenue?"

     Morris hesitated, "Yes. He's trying out some new things. Why? You interested in seeing him?"

     "No!" I blurted out, not realizing my volume had grown louder under Morris' end went silent. "No, I just heard he's performing a few songs — specifically about me."

    Morris sucked his teeth, "I mean I wouldn't be so surprised. He hides that shit well but I can tell he's hurting. He doesn't realize some of the people around him know him better than he knows his own self.."

   Something inside of me stirs, and I know it's nervousness "Has he said anything?"

    Morris paused, "I should just let the music speak for itself. Come down to Minneapolis, the show starts at 11." With that, the line goes dead and I'm left contemplating.

Even though I shouldn't care in the least on what Prince has to say about me, a partial part of me can't help but to be curious on what he has to say.

   As if on cue, the front door swung open and in came Pattie, groceries pressed tight to her chest. I barely had the chance to greet her before she complained, "You just gonna' sit there or help your sister?"

With a sigh, I lifted myself off the couch and took a few paper bags from her hold. Seeming to sense my bother, Pattie furrowed her brows. "What's wrong? He didn't call this house did he?"

At her protective nature, I stifled a soft smile before shaking my head. "No, I was just talking to a friend." At my answer, Pattie nods her head before trailing off into the kitchen while I trail off close behind.

"Where's mom?" Pattie asks, setting the groceries down to the open the fridge.

I motion behind me to her bedroom, "Laying down. She said she was tired." Even though she tried to hide it, I could sense Pattie's hesitance to comment on it. "She also has been throwing up all day, I'm really getting worried Pat."

Silence drowned us out for a moment before Pattie put on a smile I could tell was fake, "She's fine Denise. She's just has a little flu — she'll be better by the weekend, hopefully."

Pattie's words didn't settle me in the lease. "I still don't understand how doctors haven't been able to diagnose with this is yet." I shake my head, only to receive more silence on Pattie's end.

Lifting a brow in her direction, I watch as she tries to avoid my eyes the best she can. "The doctors haven't diagnosed her, right?"

"Should we have chicken for dinner?"

Her sudden change of topic makes me believe she's withholding something, "Pattie.."

"Denise!" She exclaims, suddenly making me widen my eyes at her. "Mom is fine, alright?" Watching her eyes begin to gloss over, Pattie bites her lip.

"Shit." She curses underneath her breath, turning away from me to wipe at her eyes. Observing the way Pattie takes in a heavy exhale with a tight throat, I take a seat at the island.

"Pattie.." I try to begin, but she shakes her head.

"You should go." Her words take me back.

I scoff, "What? No. What's going on?" I could feel my heart thumping violently in my chest.

"I'm not telling you again Denise, go back to Minneapolis." Confusion filled me as I furrowed my brows and stood to my feet.

"No, tell me—"

"There's too much going on here. You were better off there, making something for yourself. Not here, waiting for mom to croak at any minute."

Bile was coming up, at her harsh words. "She's not dying what are you talking about?"

"She is. The doctor diagnosed her with severe alcohol hepatitis right before you came up here. On your birthday in fact, she got the news. She didn't want to tell you."

Like a instant, numbness filled me completely as I could only stare at Pattie in shock. "Wh-" I stumbled on my words as my voice came out hoarse. I cleared it sharply, "Why wouldn't she tell me, I'm her daughter."

"She just saw you so happy, with your newfound career, with Prince, with your life in Minneapolis. She didn't want to take that away by making you come back here for you to be her house nurse instead of out there, making her proud."

Her explanation threw me into a loop and I could barely get my head on straight, "That's stupid!" I exclaim. "Why would she think that?"

"Because she loves you, that's why. She wants to see you making a name for yourself, not sitting around here being worried about her." Pattie throws back at me, now with her fingers pressed tightly to her temples.

Either way, whether I was in Minneapolis or in Canada I would remain worried about her condition. It would most likely lead me to the brink of insanity if I returned to Minneapolis without confirmation that she was still breathing every day.

I inhaled a shaky breath as water developed at the base of my eyes, "I'm not going back, I can't. I need to be here for her."

"She doesn't want you here." Pattie stresses, searching me for a glimpse of understanding. "Go back, finish the success you started and make mom proud. You hear me?" Grasping my chin tightly, she forcefully directed my line of sight to her's.

    Feeling stray tears tumble across my cheeks, I nodded slowly without breaking eye contact.

   Pattie exhaled a sharp breath before wiping away the tears on my cheeks and consoling me in a tight embrace. It was the first time that I let my emotions out through my tear ducts, letting my sobs be muffled into the confinement of Pattie's shoulder.

     All the frustrations regarding what had occurred in the last year came tumbling out and resting in the crook of Pattie's neck.

My bottled emotions had released it's cap and emptied itself until I was left with nothing, but an emptiness I wasn't sure who was able to fill.