Chapter 30

AN:

Please be advised that the 2nd part of the chapter contains sexual themes, you can skip it if you want. Desideratum is slowly turning more daring and darker scene wise. Don't forget to read and review as i would love to hear from you all.

The two Volturi wives may seem so alike yet in reality they are in contrast with one another.

Renata was able to see that. It was as if the the two were the halves of yin and yang. The color of their hair could be seen as as Sulpicia's hair was dark as night yet Athenodora's hair was light as day. She had come across the term as she happened to study Chinese culture back when she was in Malta. The shield had been bored enought that she decided to study philosophies and cultures of different place.

The feminine or negative principle of the two opposing cosmic forces into which creative energy divides and whose merger in physical matter brings the phenomenal world into reality in Chinese philosophy. It was marked by dark, dampness, cold, passivity, disintegration. The shield had deduced that the description had fit Sulpicia so well. On the other hand,

She had turned a sharper left to the corridor and she heard giggling echoing within the hallways. Curious, the shield had followed the sound of heartfelt laughing that was something new to the bleak and stark fortress of Volterra. She had found the fair-haired Volturi wife and the head of guard in the room adjacent to the wives' quarters. The room was filled with various canvases, paints, and several unfinished artworks. Renata had deduced that it was the studio room of the fair-haired woman. The two woman were perched over a painting and for a moment, the two looked like a mother and daughter.

Seeing Athenodora spending time with her charge, a twinge of jealousy was stirring up inside of Renata.

She had longed for a mother and daughter relationship as she had grown up without a mother. She may have obtained a motherly figure as Sulpicia was the one guiding her. However she could not deny that she wanted a relationship like Athenodora's and Jane's. In which their own charge was not used for political power play.

She was tempted to fled the room. All the shield saw was a mother and daughter bonding that appeared to be too good to be true. Renata wished she didn't care if she had the love and affection of a mother figure that was deemed not to be toxic. The shield knew that it's not her fault that she felt a twinge of jealousy, yet it feels that way. She can't get rid of the weight of Sulpicia's desires and expectations on her back.

The shield knew it in herself that she was slowly killing herself from comparing Jane to herself. Renata thought it was no use comparing herself over someone who was aloof towards her. Renata knew it herself that she was already tired of herself: of her constant comparison, failure to meet the standards of her ravne-haired mistress, and nonetheless, the endless powerplay.

She was not the one to ask for anything as she knew all she was doing was for herself. The shield convinced herself that

Renata did not dare say anything negative about her raven-haired mistress. The shield never said anything negative about anyone knowing far too well that she was closely watched. She had not said anything because that she did not want to disgrace herself or her mistress.

Sulpicia was the shield's entire world.

The two woman remained oblivious of the presence of the shield by the doorway. She had lamented on how would it have been if Sulpicia had not raised the stakes for her to be groomed to be something much more greater. All the studying, lies, and manipulations. All she did was make herself more unhappy and never satisfied.

She had cut out everyone that was a thorn on her plans. Renata could have remained to have a healthy relationship with her fellow guards. If her loyalty was the one on the line. She had chosen the raven-haired vampire, nonetheless. Because Sulpicia had treated her as her own daughter, she had to shut them all out for her beloved mistress.

Her eyes drifted to the blonde haired vampire. Jane could be seen elated next to the fair-haired woman. Renata did not know that a heartless person like the head of guard can be satisfied without torturing her victims. She had been surprised that the head of guard was capable of possessing such emotions.

Jane has it all and the shield felt a bit envious of that.

She could not deny that the blonde vampire was well protected amongst her peers. The head of guard was untouchable because her allies are all so great. The blonde vampire was enjoying the life as all the three masters had favored her. She was not daft to see Caius was supportive of the head of guard. Marcus was occasionally seen to support the twins and Aro did not even bother to hide his favoritism. Despite being younger than usual, the head of guard possesses an ethereal face. Her beauty was frequently overlooked as every one was visibly terrified of her.

Renata had known, with decades of observing the head of guard.

Renata desperately wanted to be her, even if Jane was her nemesis in this brutal and lonely coven life. The shield only sees herself as she had ought to be. She could have been happier, powerful, and everybody would like her. She would not face the scrutiny of the guards as everyone would have to respect her. All she sees in Jane was how everything should have been.

Staring at those two, all the shield felt was envy and she knew she was slowly losing it. Renata left the room yet she was oblivious to the fact that the head of guard was aware of her presence. She had been playing along in order to not frighten the bodyguard of her Master.

Jane did not know if she pitied the shield or hated her at all.

The male witch twin was not a sentimental type of person at all.

The guards usually steered clear of him and Jane due to fear of the power they hold. He had enjoyed the silence for quite some time yet he could not deny that he was beginning to be lonely. Surely, he had Jane by his side yet he knew that his sister had her own issues to worry about. Alec knew even if his sister had been silent about the feelings she had harbored for their master: Jane was still fighting for the last bit of validation and affection she wanted.

He had found company with one of the guards their master values the most, aside from his sister.

The male witch twin was surprised that he and Charmion had similarities. He had enjoyed her company for quite some time and he could not deny that he had connected to her on a much more deeper level. Alec, just like his sister remained aloof to some of the guards. Contrary to what the guards perceived them to be, it was not their pride speaking but rather it was rather awkward for them.

Everything was fine, until she mentioned she found someone.

Charmion mentioned that she had met someone who seemed to be her mate. Underneath the pale moonlight, her words had shattered silence. Charmion then went on being happy and moved on. Afton was one of the new additions in the guard, if Alec were to speak freely, Afton had simply stayed because his mate was one of the high ranking members of the Volturi. He could not fathom how a lowly guard got to have the woman he had come to love.

Everyone had moved on. Yet he had lingered at the past.

He sat still by the alcove where they would male witch twin was still sitting in a corner, lamenting if how things would have turned out. In the faint light, he had remembered every single interaction he had with her. He had not told a soul of what transpired. No one else but his sister and their master knew about it. Of course, Jane would notice the changes with her twin's mood and Aro was just Aro after all, he always knew.

"What a pitiful sight," they exclaimed once finding out the truth.

He stayed there for a long time. The one who cuts off senses knew he had overstayed and lamented too much on things he had no control off. Alec knew he could not control the fact that Charmion had found her mate. He had frequently visited the alcove as his feet always led him to stop and take a moment to take in everything that had transpired.

Hesitation, a clumsy exchange within the two of them. He had slowly lowered his expectations for the woman he had loved. Alec had been ignoring all the voices as he continued to linger in the remnants of the past. Dwelling may have provided him a temporary solace from the dark and lonely castle life. Loving her in return was something Alec was going to have to pay for.

And he shall suffer in return.

Time had frozen for the male witch twin the moment he found out about her mate. Everyone else's time has passed; yet the former second in command was not aware of it. Inside his reveries, he was still back in time where everything was right. It was supposed to be this way, the brunet convinces himself. Was he lingering at his delusions,about the girl whom he holds at the same regard with his sister?

Heartbreaks happen all the time; he convinces himself that he doesn't have to be devastated about it. It was a natural occurrence in the coven. His unrequited love pales in comparison to his sister constantly going after someone who cannot love her and Marcus being condemned to be separated from the love of his life with the shadowy veil of death. Inside his fantasy, she's still the carefree Charmion laughing over their conversations in the alcove.

And he happened to be seated right next to her.

He was right there where she had left. Ever so hopeful that when the time comes she shall find him standing the same place she left him in. The male witch twin knew that he was young and wild when he first fell in love with was fun, hot, and sweet to love you.

It was safe and sound to be loving you. A safe haven where I can relax my guard. However, there were disadvantages to loving you.

Marcus who happened to pass by the alcove sighed deeply. He had been aware of things simply unsaid as he was able to see the bonds that connect one another. He could not help but realize the parallelism of the twins with regards to the concept of love. Jane had been chasing the love of his raven-haired brother and he was certain that his brother cannot reciprocate that. Alec on the other hand, was stuck with the past of his memories of someone who had already left him long ago.

How can Jane and Alec be the opposite of one another yet alike at the same time?

It was a waste of time to love someone he knew he could never have. He was not like Jane who was willing to fight for what she wanted. He was not as brave as his sister was. To love and admire silently, was his trait. He knew far to well that it was as if he had punched the moon if heavens shall align for him to have the woman he loved. Charmion was like sunshine that fell on was sunny when I first discovered loving you, but then it wasn't just his senses that Alec had lost, or cut off at least.

Because there was a cost to loving someone he could never have.

He had not known if it was possible, yet every single bit of Corin had reminded him of Athenodora.

She had situated herself in the glass garden at the highest points of the fortress of Volterra. The blond king sat in a distance, his pencil unconciously sketching the lady-in-waiting of his wife. He had found his presence comforting somehow.

Every single bit reminded him of his wife, before all of this ordeal had happened.

Caius may have loved the power he hold as of the moment yet he could not deny that he missed it when they were not in power yet. The blond king was willing to admit that his relationship with his wife was strained after the tides have changed. He had missed the spices of their sex life.

Simply when he had her all to himself. When it was just the two of them.

Eventually, the twins came along and he was subjected to share her with them. The fair-haired woman was willing to side with the twins who were not even her biological children. He told himself he deserved better, not having to share with anyone. Would he cheat at his wife if she had given her whole and undivided attention?

Absolutely not.

Men were driven with sex. Every men would want to have sex with other women if deemed unsatisfied, and when the opportunity comes with Corin willing to throw herself at him, he took the opportunity. He had found himself too much prideful than to bed his wife who did not want to bow down to him.

"Your presence brings me joy..." he whispers once they were back to his chambers.

The blond king trailed kisses on Corin's neck. She had swept her hair on one side as she succumbs to the touch of her blond master. The lady in waiting felt him loosening her corset and she instantly knew what he wanted. It was another time of pleasure with him yet moaning his wife's name unconsciously. It was tiresome, really, serving his wife yet Athenadora had remained oblivious to the fact that her husband was calling to her each night, bedding her lady in waiting.

She had stripped naked in front of him, always willing to give herself to him.

He had pushed her against the wall, crashing his lips towards hers.

While thrusting inside his mistress, he had seen Athenodora's face. Her face contorted with pleasure as she had felt his thrust. Her fingers gripped his blond hair in ecstasy. Seeing her reaction, he aimed to hit her spot deeper, proving to her that he was dominant and she must bow submissive to him.

"M-Master..."

He was brought back to reality when he heard the voice of his mistress. The blond king momentarily threw his head back as he released himself inside of his wife's lady in waiting. Caius had carried her to his desk, laying her down. He had parted her legs once more, entering her.

Bedding her in his bed was no thrill.

"I am all yours..."Corin whispers as she met his thrusts.

The blond king froze for a moment, remembering how his wife had said the exact same thing when he bedded her. Reality seemed to fade as his thoughts brought him to the ghosts of the past.

"I had always been yours. I am all yours." Athenodora whispers to his ear as she laid on his chest. The blond king merely stroked her cheek in affirmation. He had kissed his wife's cheek, vowing that he shall never have any woman other than his wife.

"And you shall have me all to yourself for eternity."

What a lie, indeed.

Here he was, having sex with another woman. The blond king pulled himself off her and remained silent. He could not deny that guilt was starting to creep behind his back. His conscience was getting the best of him and he was not letting that happen. He had sat in his bed, lamenting on his choices.

Cheating was natural for men, why was he so guilty?

Corin sat next to him and wrapped her arms around him. She laid her head on his shoulder as a sign of affection. The lady-in-waiting knew that he was starting to guilt himself over sleeping with another woman. He had long denounced to her that it was her who held his heart.

His wife was none of his concern anymore.

The lady in waiting was terrified, of her mistress' husband falling out of love with her. She was terrified that at the end of the day, the blond king would go back to loving his wife. Certainly not this time, when he had completely fallen for her. She had leaned in to his ear and whispered:

"Do not feel bad about loving me. Loving someone else was never wrong. We both know that the two of us, its more than just sex. If you find comfort in me, why don't you leave your wife?"

Caius looked at her with an apprehensive expression. For a moment, she had forgotten her place within the coven. Corin forgot that she was just a mere guard and he was one of her master. The blond king however did not take offense in her words knowing far too well that she was frequently well spoken and was not afraid of her thoughts.

"It's not that easy, unless you wanted to be disgraced?"he asks and the woman in question remained silent.

"No."she answers meekly.

Caius knew it in himself that it was not the real reason why he cannot leave his wife. He may have some difficulties with their relationship yet he knew it was his duty to protect her image and standing. If news of his infidelity got out, the Volturi would be at their end as well. Aro would have his head if he had ever disgraced himself or even Athenodora.

Caius as ever so oblivious, was unaware of the fact that Corin did not want to be a mere mistress at all.

"Who do you think is guilty? The immortal child or its creator?"

Aro had asked his head of guard as the two were buried in a pile of documents and books. His question caught the blonde vampire's attention as she stared at him. Jane had already been accustomed to her master's question that were raised out of the blue. Her creator had a habit of thinking out loud and she was usually subjected to answering his questions that were out of blue.

"Who do you think deserves to die or punished?"he asks quietly.

The raven-haired king made it a habit to ask her opinion about certain matters. A simple thought of asking her thoughts about anything related to upholding the laws shows how he values the opinion of his head of guard. It was a source of affirmation for the blonde vampire.

"Both of them." Jane answers without meeting his eye.

The raven-haired Volturi king knew that she was holding back from telling something that was from her mind. He had deduced that she had a different answer yet the blonde vampire did not want to offend him. It could be her thought was against what the law that the Volturi upholds.

"I am not asking you as a guard, my dear." He said in a soft voice as he lightly placed a hand on her shoulders yet it was not enough to read her mind. The raven-haired vampire valued her privacy at all times. "Tell me, it's not that i will get offended and Caius is not here to reprimand you on your stand on this issue."

She was reminded that he was her master, ever so kind with his words. Jane sighed deeply, giving in to him.

"It depends?"she treaded lightly with the topic. "Was it a mother's love to not let her child die? Can it be that they did not wish to be parted from their children? Yet on the otherhand, what kind of mother gives the curse of immortality to their child?"

Aro let out a chuckle. He was dearly reminded that Jane was speaking on her own accord. No offense was taken as she was not questioning their authority. The raven-haired king sensed her confusion and he stepped in. It was nice to have someone who can speak freely around him as it was a rarity nowadays.

"I get your point, cara mia." He simply tells her. "Do not worry, you will not be punished when you speak freely with me. It's quite a rarity to have someone who speaks freely around me. We both get a broader insight, am i right?"

Because vampires' mental and physical ages are frozen when they're transformed, immortal children are human children who were turned into vampires at a young age. One of the most shocking facts regarding the eternal children is that they are simply too young to be "tamed," as their development is stunted at such an early developmental age that they lack ethical awareness, let alone the ability to comprehend ideas like discretion or repercussions.

"If given the chance, would you change a child if deemed you cannot part with it?"he asks out of the blue as ever.

"H-Huh?"

The blonde vampire did not know if her master was in his right mind when he had asked the question. Aro was simply asking if she could commit a crime by creating one of the immortal children. Jane did not know if he had lost his mind or if he was simply trying to catch her off guard.

"I will not get mad, dear." He quickly assures her as the blonde looks visibly uncomfortable with his question.

"I don't know. Do i look like someone who can become a mother? Someone like me?" Jane reasons out.

"Well Caius is a testament to that."The Volturi king remarked, barely hiding his chuckle. "You and Alec had him confused of where he should stand. He was torn on being a father figure or being your commander, my brother sometimes forget he can do both."he added.

If the blond king, despite his cold and aloof attitude: had garnered paternal feelings,who said someone like Jane cannot have it as well?

"Do you get uncomfortable with my question?"he asks as he sat closer to his head of guard. "Fine, i wont ask anything that makes you uncomfortable."

The Volturi king edged away from her and continued with the respective tasks they needed to do. Jane then took the time to lament on one of the conversations she had with him regarding the immortal children. He had sat down and tried to converse with her about immortal children. The head of guard could not forget that particular conversation after all.

"Why would you not let them live?" she asks quietly.

"We did try to keep them alive," Aro said with caution. "We tried to work through them and we were hoping we could tame them. Get them to listen and control in order not to dispose of them because it is simply heartbreaking to do such a thing to a child. Giving the curse of immortality to a child is simply absurd, what more to take that away?"

"B-But those children..." she faces him in confusion.

"The best path will always be a rough path to walk on. It is painful to find the strength to follow it because it simply feels wrong after all. We all learn the hard way, to see them perish by our own hands in order to keep our secret safe. Luckily, you did not face the same fate the child faced earlier," he looks at her with such sympathy.

"Why are you asking me, Master?"Jane asks quietly.

Aro could only sigh in resignation. He had been putting off the real reason why he had opened the conversation in the first place. He had asked her opinion in order to assess her understanding about the issue. Aro had no choice than to inform her to about what have reached the Volturi.

"I was merely checking if you can handle this. To face another case of another case of a mother turning her child, can you handle that my dear?"

Jane did not know the answer to his question as she chose silence as her answer.