"I need your help"

Dr. Levi didn't look too surprised to see Florence at the front door of the clinic before it was officially open.

"Ah, Miss Clarke, I was wondering when I'd see you here again" he paused "I heard about Cole, I'm sorry"

She didn't like that at all, Cole wasn't dead he was just in a coma, plenty of people recovered from coma's, it was like Levi was so used to dealing with a delicate child who was only accustomed to losing people that this was his default mode, the way he would always speak to her.

"I need to see my file"

"Oh, you do, do you?"

"Yes, it's technically not your property, or the state's now that I'm no longer a patient here"

"Okay Florence, you can have your file, but in return I want you to talk to me, I may not be your doctor anymore but I know someone who's hurting when I see them, tell me what's going on in your life, you have my complete confidentiality and sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved"

Florence took a seat on the red battered looking chair, she had wanted to talk to someone anyway, Levi was giving her what she wanted, twice.

"Have you ever met Cole Roberts?" she asked instead, she didn't know why but suddenly she needed to know.

Levi nodded.

"He came here around two days after he was released from prison, said he wanted to thank me for all I tried to do for his brother, I think he wanted to look around, him and Chase missed out on a portion of each other's lives, he wanted to fill in some of the gaps"

"And what did you think of him?"

"I thought that he seemed troubled, of course, he's going to feel distraught at his brother's death and finding out via a letter wasn't exactly the best way for him to realise... there's this odd thing about twins, my nieces are twins, inseparable the two of them, if anything happens to one of them its almost like the other feels their pain, Doctors don't fully understand the emotional implication of having a twin. But seeing Cole I realised that when Chase passed, it was like a part of him died too, a part of him which he hoped could one day be better gone, just like that"

Levi looked so stricken in that moment.

Florence hadn't even thought about that, she had skirted around the subject, so wrapped up in her own sadness and loss that she hadn't spared a thought for Cole, who had lost a brother he'd known his whole life.

Looking back on every interaction the two of them had, every conversation spoken Florence realised how incredibly selfish she had been.

She was re-evaluating everything, the secrets the diary had shared and the confirmation from Levi of what she had been too blind to see, Chase had told Cole to pretend he was broken, but not much pretending had been involved, his raw pain wasn't some act he was putting on for the sake of his brother, and she hated that it had taken him being in a coma for her to realise that.

"Chase came here full of hope Florence, I never wanted to extinguish that hope, he always had a cause, he wanted to live life to its absolute fullest, at first he wanted to live life because he had the drive to do better, to be better, I never saw a patient so motivated to get better. When I saw Cole I saw the opposite, someone so low on hope that he was practically living through a dead person"

She understood that it's what she had been doing.

"Miss Clarke, when your mother made that call here I thought we were taking in another patient, someone who needed to be saved, what I realise now is that you were the one who did the saving, Chase Roberts would never have held on for so long had it not been for you, many people never meet a person they truly love and would do anything for in their lifetime, I loved Chase like he was a son to me, and I got the privilege of seeing his happiness, its strange that a dying boy could be so happy, I will forever be in your debt for that happiness"

He clasped her hand then, and she squeezed it back, Levi was old, so wise and he'd given her an irreplaceable gift, the gift of knowing that was there was loss there were also gains, right then and there if she could climb into a time machine and stop herself from ever coming here, she wouldn't have done it.

Those memories were too precious for her, too golden to have never happened.

"We're thinking of installing a plaque here, on your ward, another symbol of the everlasting impact people can leave on our lives even when they're gone"

He turned to her, glasses glinting in the sunlight.

"The most important thing, what is imperative for you to know Florence is that you don't have to live a half-life, you became someone new when you came here, your loss and struggles shaped you into someone unrecognisable but now that your out don't keep acting like your still confined to a ward, your book has such potential, you've done so well for yourself but I can't help feeling that your still holding something back, like your not quite ready to accept that you still have a life"

He was right, of course, he was right.

"Chase wouldn't have wanted you to be like this, your life was given to you for a reason, so stop making excuses and holding back, and go do something amazing, make him proud and make me proud"

"Levi I..." 

She didn't want her file, not anymore, it had been an excuse just like she said, she was searching for the answers in places she knew they weren't held, going round in circles, again and again, making the same mistakes but not learning the lessons.

And Levi had just told her exactly what she needed to know, actions spoke stronger than words, she wasn't a patient anymore, so she should stop acting like one.

"Thank you, Levi, thank you for everything, I might have thought of you as a doctor when I left here but you're a friend to me now"

She hugged him, breathing in the smell of detergent.

"Do you still want that file?" he said smiling, he already knew the answer.

"I don't need a file to remember who I am, you just told me"

She smiled back.

On her way out she passed the ward, a hundred memories dancing around in her mind.

And then she saw him, sitting there with his clipboard ticking off something absentmindedly, the lights dimmed.

He looked up, his eyes catching hers.

"Hey there Flo"

"Hey there yourself"

He smiled, she smiled.

"I love you, you know, always"

"I know"

"Goodbye Chase"

"See you around Clarke"

And then she walked away, she actually walked away.

To where she didn't know, but it was as if a part of her had been released.