Florence had liked baking and cooking a lot before anorexia had plagued her life and she had instead counted calories rather than relishing how a few simple ingredients could turn into something amazing. She had resisted the urge to check the many emails, voicemails, Twitter notifications, Facebook notifications, and website comments, she was there to make pancakes not to have a mini-panic attack about her new-found stardom, and it was so early in the morning she couldn't attend to business, just to the growl in her stomach that meant she was hungry.

She was happy that 'Dysmorphia' was getting such a great reception and treasured reading the wonderful reviews people were writing about her book, but with all the good came the bad and she couldn't take negative thoughts about a book that was basically with about her life story, so she avoided the internet at least for now.

To her surprise Cole had stayed with her in the kitchen instead of running in the other direction, he was watching her attentively as she weighed out the flour, mixed the eggs and poured in the milk.

She almost laughed, after his previous comment about being in an apron and making homemade cookies she hadn't imagined that he'd actually be interested in her cooking.

"Pass me the blueberries from the fridge," she asked and he immediately got up off the counter stool and brought them to her, there was something strange about the way he was moving, his actions seemed robotic and there didn't seem to be much light behind his eyes anymore.

He was so... unpredictable, one second he would be laughing and cracking admittedly funny jokes and the next it was like a shadow had passed across his face, he was fixated on the bowl as she whisked everything together.

"Um... Cole, are you okay?" she asked pausing mid-whisk.

He seemed to snap out of something, he shook his head.

"I'm fine"

Five minutes later it transpired that Cole was an excellent pancake flipper, Florence hadn't flipped pancakes since her Grandma had still been alive, and watching them caused all sorts of nostalgic thoughts to stir up inside her.

Once a sizeable stack had been made they both sat down, the awkwardness had returned, like two strangers they sat as Cole methodically cut his pancakes into smaller and smaller pieces.

"So what was the deal with you and my brother?" he asked, "You clearly adored him, was it a reciprocated feeling?"

She was caught unaware and dropped her fork in shock, for so long she had cooped up everything she had felt for Chase, first to not get him in trouble and then to save herself the pain of mentioning his name, but Cole clearly wanted to know, and why should she deprive him any information about his own brother?

"Yeah, as you so eloquently put it I did adore Chase, he was amazing and he saved me, and every single day I wish he was still here"

Plop.

A single tear dropped onto the blueberry discarded on the side of her plate.

"Makes sense" Cole said not looking at her, "Chase was always one for fixing things that were broken"

She felt immense hurt at his words, he was acting like Chase had only helped her, only loved her because he was somehow bound to because she was hurting, that hadn't been the case, it hadn't!

Had it?

She dismissed the thought immediately, she shouldn't let him make her feel like that, Chase had loved her, he had trusted her with basically his life's possessions, there were plenty of other girls in need of help at Oakwood, but he had picked her.

She let herself ponder on it, just for a moment, he had been ill and he couldn't leave the clinic, had it been fate or resignation to his own fate that had brought them together?

She didn't care, she wouldn't take it all back even if she had the choice, she'd do it all again in the exact same order

What was the point of not living life, not loving life because you were too afraid of the consequences?

"I need to get some sleep," she said coldly, drawing back her chair and relishing the scraping sound it made against the wooden floor.

Was this how it was going to be with them? 

Every time they started breaking down barriers he had to go and put his foot in it and say something hurtful

He grabbed the sleeve of her dressing gown

"Florence wait!" he said "That came out wrong, it just isn't easy to live a life with people adoring your twin, wishing you were more like him and then even when he's gone people still adoring him and wishing you were him"

"I don't wish you were him!" she snapped back, it was only half a lie.

"I wish you were less horrible to me when I've told you things that even my parents don't know when I'm trying to help you stop this self-destructing mission you seem to be on!"

"I'm sorry!" he said putting his head into his hands

"You shouldn't have got me from the prison Florence, I have some friends back in Montana who'll probably let me stay with them, all I'm doing here is causing pain"

She suddenly felt a surge of panic, he couldn't go.

If he went she'd failed Chase, and she also wouldn't be able to look at the face that had destroyed her, the face that had made her.

She turned to face him "You don't have to do that, I probably overreacted, but please just think before you open your mouth, you seem to hold a great deal of bitterness towards Chase Cole, I know someone, someone who could help you work through your problems"

He shook his head "No therapists Florence, and I still think it would be better for me to leave"

She was now inches away from him.

"You're not going anywhere," she said, just outstretching one hand and she could ruffle her hands through that hair again.

She immediately righted herself, 

'Remember who you're talking to Florence!'

She backed away like he was a wild animal.

"I really do need to get some sleep Cole" she feigned a deep yawn "You should get some too, and please don't leave while I'm asleep, I'd hate to go on a wild goose chase looking for you"

The word Chase weighed heavy on her tongue.

She turned away quickly and walked back to Chase's room and collapsed onto the bed, she picked up her phone and scrolled through her contact until she came to a name she had once thought she would hate forever.

The phone dialed three times before a sleepy voice demanded to know what was wrong.

"Coops, I need your advice..."