"Ready for a story about a bunch of fairy tale characters owned by Walt Disney. Oh just what the world needs more Disney books. Our story begins at a wedding." I said.

"In the great land of Auradon, at the location of some giant ass cathedral, and where shit went down for the first time. And let me tell you there was some shit. Dragon shit really. But that's besides the point. Our beloved Bal is finally going to be married. But first we have to meet our new products. I mean characters. Whew. Saved it. The Mouse would have had my ass." I said.

"Now time for the shit show." It added

At the Castle…

Mal, Evie, Uma, Jane, Lonnie, Audrey, and Jordan (Daughter of the Genie from Wicked World. You're welcome sincerely, I.)

We're all getting ready for the grand wedding in the girl's dressing room at the Beast Castle.

"I can't believe this is really happening." Mal gushed as Dizzy did her hair. 

Evie chuckled as she came to stand beside her best friend. "Well believe it because today is the day and you are going to rock that crown."

"Thanks E." Mal smiled, admiring her appearance in the mirror as Dizzy finished up.

"Ta da!" Dizzy grinned. 

"Ta da indeed." Mal nodded, turning to face the younger girl. "Thank you Dizzy."

"You're welcome." Dizzy chirped excitedly as Evie gave her a hug. 

"Alright Diz, go in the other room and go get ready with Celia." Evie smiled. "You girls are going to look amazing in the Flower girl dresses I made you."

(Who else would have made the outfits for the entire wedding? Said I, sarcastically)

Dizzy squealed. "I can't believe I'm actually in the wedding. This is a dream come true."

Mal and Evie chuckled at the younger girl's excitement as she raced into the other room. Mal turned to look at her appearance once more and sighed. "E, do you think my family is going to show up? I mean, mom never responded, dad could oversleep, and Thanatos, I just don't even know. He's unpredictable but I do want him here, he's my brother after all." 

Brother, the word felt foreign on her lips. For 18 years she had believed herself to be an only child, but that changed the day she went to retrieve her father's ember to stop Audrey from taking over Auradon. 

Flashback to the Isle: 2 Weeks Before the Wedding

"You want to make up for being a lousy dad? Give me the ember." Mal demanded, holding out her hand. 

"You're only half Hades." Hades warned. "It won't do everything for you that it does for me."

"I'll take my chances." Mal replied stubbornly. 

Hades sighed and handed over the ember. Mal turned to leave but a blue haired young man walked into the underground lair, stopping her in her tracks.

"Hey dad I'm home! You better be awake because I--" The young man froze when he saw Mal in the room. "Who is she?"

"Did he just call you dad?" Mal questioned Hades. 

"I'm his son. What's it to you?" The young man asked. 

"I'm his daughter." Mal replied.

The two glared at each other and Hades' eyes widened as he tried to figure out an explanation, but the words wouldn't come.

"Explain now!" Mal snapped, her patience waning. 

Hades sighed as he looked between his children. "Mal, meet your twin brother Thanatos. Thanatos, meet your twin sister Mal."

"What!?"

(Oof, talk about family secrets. I'd hate to be in the middle of that family feud. Said I.)

"Mal? Mal? Mal!" Evie's voice snapped Mal from her thoughts. "Mal are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Mal replied. "Just thinking is all."

Evie nodded. "Well as I was saying, I know your father will be here. He practically asked to be invited. As for your mom and brother, I can't be sure. What I do know is no matter what you will be surrounded by people who love and support you."

Mal took a deep breath before giving her a hug. "Thanks E, that's exactly what I needed to hear."

"What are friends for?" Evie smiled, hugging her back. "Now let's get you into that fabulous dress so we can show it off to the girls."

(Awe, how sweet….barf. said I)

"Alright." Mal nodded, walking over to unzip the garment bag that was hanging on the door. 

Evie pulled the dress out of the bag and helped Mal get dressed. Once Evie checked her over to make sure everything was in the proper place they headed into the adjoining room to join the others. 

Evie walked through the door and smiled at the girls. "Now presenting the soon to be Queen, Mal!" 

Evie stepped out of the way and Mal walked in wearing her purple and white wedding dress. The girls all clapped and gushed over Mal as she twirled around with a smile. 

"It's gorgeous Mal." Lonnie smiled. 

Audrey nodded. "I have to admit, it suits you perfectly. Evie did a great job as always."

(Clearly she's trying, but does she actually mean it? Questioned I)

"Thanks." Evie smiled. "Only the best for my bestie."

"It's so pretty Mal!" Jane gushed. "Everyone's jaws are going to drop when they see you."

"They certainly are." Uma agreed. "You look good, Dragon Queen. Totally on fire."

Mal laughed. "Why thank you!"

"And the best part is I get the behind the scenes scoop." Jordan grinned, taking pictures with her phone.

"You better not post those until after the wedding." Evie warned. "I worked too hard to have it get spoiled. 

"Relax blueberry, I won't post a thing until after the wedding. Genie's honor." Jordan replied, putting her phone away. "I may be a blogger, but I do have lines I don't cross."

(Then again, Genie's are known for being tricksters. I'd choose my words carefully. Said I)

"Good." Evie replied. "Now let's get lined up, it's almost show time."

With the boys in the West Wing….

Ben was fixing up his hair in the mirror and it wasn't going too well.

"I would offer to help you, but it's fun watching you try to fix your hair mate." Harry chimed in.

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around why I picked you to be a groomsmen Hook." Ben replied, turning to him. 

"I helped save yer asses." Harry smirked. 

(He didn't really save anyone but he wasn't stoned so no one could say otherwise. Said I)

"No you didn't. Uma said. "

"You were just. There." Gil chimed in.

Harry turns and looks at Gil, "Not helping Gil."

(Gil's gonna get his ass thrown out again. Bet me. Said I)

"Alright everyone chill out. We don't need another pub fight with Harry and a pirate." Jay sighed. 

"I want to ask questions, but I'm not sure if I wanna know what that meant." Doug raised an eyebrow questioning what happened with Harry and a pirate at a pub.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." Ben called out.

In walked Jace Skellington, pumpkin prince, and son of Jack Skellington and Sally. 

His skin was as pale as the moonlight, his body looked very boney, to the point you could see his cheek bones, and his eyes were a light blue.

Jace's outfit was a white dress shirt, a black coat jacket with long coat tails similar to Jack's suit, a light blue bow tie, and black dress shoes.

"Hello there. I have arrived. Let the fun begin." Jace announced.

"Uh guys. Should we get this kid to a hospital? He doesn't look too good." Gil asked, surprised by Jace's appearance.

Jace sighs, "No need dude. This is my natural look. I'm from Halloween Town. My parents are Jack Skellington and Sally."

(Exactly. What do you think you get when a skeleton fucks a Franken girl? Prince charming? Nope. Death boy? Hell yeah. Chuckled I.)

"Oh. Sorry." Gil replied.

"It's fine, happens. Everyday." Jace replied then claps his hands together, "So where are those rings at Benny?"

"They're on the pillow over there in the corner. Please, be careful with them." Ben replied.

"I will. Calm your crowns." Jace said and walked to the corner and grabbed the pillow, "So who are the new dudes?"

"Oh I'm Gil, son of Gaston." Gil introduced himself.

"And I'm Harry Hook."Harry added.

"Oh cool, a pirate. Tell me, does this scare you?" Jace asked and started to make a tick tock noise with his tongue.

Harry jumps out of his seat and grabs his hook and points it at Jace, "Ever do that again, I'll feed you to the sharks."

(Fear of ticks and tocks. It's in the fuckin' blood. He should get that checked out. Said I)

"Jokes on you, sharks love me." Jace replied. 

Harry glares at him while Jace gives an innocent grin. 

"Alright guys, cool it." Ben replied, still struggling with his hair. "It's almost time to line up and I still can't get my hair right!"

Gil stepped forward and took the comb from his hand. "I can help you King Ben."

Ben looked over at the other guys who just shrugged in response. Ben sighed and sat down in his chair. "Alright Gil, go for it."

Gil grinned as he ran the comb through Ben's hair. He parted it and combed it to the side, styling it as he'd seen Ben wear his hair many times before. After a few minutes he stood back and studied his handiwork, nodding approvingly. 

"Take a look King Ben." Gil said, beckoning him over to the mirror. 

Ben got up and walked over to the mirror. He studied his reflection and was impressed with what he saw. "Wow, thanks Gil. This actually looks great."

Gil smiled happily. "Thanks. My dad made me practice styling my hair all the time. He always says a Gaston has to look his best."

(Breaking news, Gil is actually good for something. Said I.)

"So you can do hair, big deal." Harry cut in. "Can we just get this over with? This tux is very uncomfortable."

Jay elbowed his arm and flashed him a warning look as Harry raised his hands in surrender. 

Ben shook his head in amusement as he walked over to the door. "Alright gentlemen let's line up. They should be bringing us out shortly."

Back in the East Wing with the girls….

Evie was checking one last time to make sure the girls had everything they needed before they headed to the cathedral. Satisfied that the girls were ready, Evie texted Doug to see how the boys were doing. 

Doug texted back seconds later informing her that the boys were ready and that yes, he had her emergency mini sewing kit in his pocket just in case they needed to fix something in a hurry. 

Evie sighed in relief and texted Doug back to have the boys head over to the cathedral and text her once they were out of sight of the castle before slipping her phone into her clutch. 

"Alright ladies, the boys are heading out to their limo now so once Doug gives me the all clear it will be show time!" Evie exclaimed excitedly. 

The girls giggled and chatted excitedly but the moment was cut short when a knock was heard at the door. 

Evie walked over to the door and placed her hand on the knob, but didn't open it. "Who is it?"

"The father of the bride." Hades' voice replied through the door. "May I enter?"

"Of course." Evie replied, flashing Mal a smile as she opened the door. "You're just in time."

Hades entered the room and his gaze immediately fell on Mal. He smiled and opened his arms wide. "Can I get a hug? Or is it improper for a queen to hug her father?"

Mal smiled and stifled a laugh as she accepted his embrace and returned it. "I'm glad you made it dad."

"I wouldn't have missed it." Hades replied. "I've already missed enough of your life. I don't plan on missing anymore."

Mal nodded as she stepped back to face her father. "So did Thanatos come?"

"I dropped him off at the Cathedral before coming here." Hades explained. "Hopefully he'll save me a good seat."

"I already have front row seats reserved for you guys." Mal explained. "Hopefully one of the ushers will show him where to sit."

Hades sighed. "One can only hope. Your brother can be a tad hard headed."

Mal chuckled. "I'm sure he'll be fine. So have you seen mom?"

Hades shook his head. "No, not yet but I doubt she'll miss this."

"I guess we'll have to wait and see." Mal replied. 

Just then Evie's phone dinged and she quickly checked it before smiling at the girls. "Coast is clear, it's time to hop in the limo ladies and god."

Hades smirked in amusement as he turned to Mal, offering her his arm. "I like her."

Mal chuckled as she accepted his arm and they left the room. "Yeah, me too. She's the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for."

The girls and Hades loaded up in the limo and headed for the cathedral. The royal wedding was officially underway. 

At the cathedral….

Thanatos sighed as he walked up the stairs toward the entrance of the cathedral. He hadn't wanted to come but his father had insisted. Mal was his sister and he should support her, but how could he support a sister he barely knew. 

They had only just met and had only interacted twice. Once in his father's underground lair when they first met and again at Mal's engagement party when his father dragged him across the bridge after the barrier came down. 

Their conversations were brief and hadn't been very informative. Thanatos wasn't even sure she wanted anything to do with him. 

Taking a deep breath he approached the girl who was standing at the door. She wore a blue dress with gold lace details. Her long, curly, light brown hair cascaded down her back and over her right shoulder. As he approached she gave him a small smile and her blue eyes shined in the sunlight. 

"Welcome." She smiled. "Can I have your name please?"

"Thanatos Hades." He replied. 

The girl looked down at her list and smiled. "Ah yes, the brother of the bride. Please follow me and I'll show you to your seat."

Thanatos nodded and followed the girl into the cathedral. The large room was packed with people sitting on wooden pews. The girl led him to the front and gestured to a pew with a sign that read 'reserved for the family of the bride'. 

"Thanks, um...." Thanatos trailed off as he took a seat. 

"Lauren." The girl smiled. 

"Thanks Lauren." Thanatos corrected. 

"Anytime. Enjoy the wedding." Lauren replied before disappearing back down the aisle. 

Thanatos sat down in the seat closest to the aisle, "Let's hope this doesn't become a shit show." He mutters and taps his foot on the ground. 

(Oh Thanatos my boy. You're about to see what a shit show can be very soon. Said I)

Back at the castle…

The boys were all heading to the limo.

"Let's get this sausage fest started." Jace said, trying to make some conversation.

"It won't be that long of a ride Jace." Chad replied.

"Plus Jay here's basically got the hair of a girl." Harry joked.

Jay flips him the middle finger.

"Come on guys." Ben sighed, closing the limo door behind him. "Can't you all be serious for a moment?"

"Unfortunately, I believe that is highly unlikely." Doug replied.

"The dwarf is correct." Harry smirked. "We pirates are only serious about three things: treasure, whiskey, and pretty lasses."

"And food!" Gil chimed in. 

"That's just you ya idiot." Harry replied, punching him in the arm. 

Doug shook his head at the two pirates as he texted Evie it was safe for the girls to leave the castle. 

Back with the girls….

Evie led the way as the girls and Hades made their way their way out to their own limo. They had timed it so the boys would already be inside the cathedral when they arrived.

Once everyone was inside the driver started the limo and headed for the cathedral. The girls chatted excitedly amongst themselves as Mal stared out the window. As soon as they left the castle gates the sidewalks were lined with people. 

"Are you okay Mali?" Hades asked. "You're not getting cold feet are you?"

"No, of course not." Mal replied. "There's just so many people. I think there's even more people here now than there were at Ben's coronation."

"Well it's not everyday the daughter of two famous villains marries the son of two famous heroes." Hades chuckled. "Today is, as princey boy would say, a momentous occasion."

Mal laughed at her father's poor attempt at mimicking Ben's voice. "Thanks dad. And like Evie said, I'm going to be surrounded by people who love and support me so everything is going to be fine."

"That's my girl." Hades smiled. 

At the cathedral with the boys….

The boys' limo pulled up in front of the cathedral. The crowd cheered and cameras flashed as the boys made their way up the stairs. Queen Belle was waiting for them at the top and she smiled as they approached. "It's finally time." 

Ben nodded. "It is." 

"Alright gentleman." Belle smiled. "Doug will lead the way just as we practiced and Jace will bring up the rear. Once you are all inside Ben and I will make our way down."

The boys nodded as soft music began to play inside. The cathedral doors opened and Doug led the groomsmen down the aisle. Jace entered next, doing his best to give a big smile as he carried the rings to the altar. 

Once all of them had made it down the aisle, the doors opened once more as Belle and Ben made their grand entrance. They smiled for the guests as they walked down the aisle arm in arm. 

When they reached the end, Belle turned and placed a kiss on Ben's cheek before leaving him at the altar and taking her seat beside Adam. All attention turned to the doors as they awaited the girl's arrival. 

Outside the cathedral….

The girls' limo pulled up in front of the cathedral and the girls stepped out. The crowd cheered when Mal finally stepped out. Mal smiled and waved as she took her father's arm and they made their way to the top of the stairs. 

As they approached, Lumiere smiled and bowed before whispering in her ear. "Work it girl."

Mal chuckled at the familiar encouraging words he had once given her at cotillion. "Thank you Lumiere."

Lumiere smiled as the music inside the cathedral changed and he opened the doors. The bridesmaids followed Evie down the aisle, the boys awaiting them with warm smiles. 

Dizzy and Celia entered next, tossing purple flower petals down the aisle with big smiles. However, just as they made it to the end Dizzy's foot got caught in the hem of her dress and she stumbled. 

Jace's eyes widened as he dropped the pillow with the rings and rushed forward, grabbing her before she could hit the floor. Dizzy blushed as he helped her get her footing before stepping back.

"Are you alright?" Jace asked quietly. 

Dizzy nodded as she tried to hide her growing blush. "Yes I'm fine, thanks to you." 

Jace nodded as Dizzy made her way over to the girl's side to stand next to Dizzy as he grabbed the pillow from the floor which still thankfully had the rings on it. 

(Awe young love. Let's hope they don't become like every other teenager or as I like to call it a Riverdale human. Oh who am I kidding? Nobody cares about Riverdale anymore. I think. Said I)

With the crisis averted, 'Here comes the bride' began to play and everyone in the cathedral rose from their seats and turned towards the cathedral doors as they opened for the last time. 

Everyone smiled as Hades and Mal made their grand entrance. Ben stood proudly at the end as his eyes met Mal's. She gave him a big smile as her father led her down the aisle. 

When they reached the end Fairy Godmother gave them a warm smile. "And who gives this woman to be wed?"

"I do." Hades replied before turning to Mal. He kissed her forehead and smiled as he tilted his head towards Ben. "Go get him."

Mal chuckled softly as Ben stepped forward and held out his hand. She took it and he guided her up to the altar so they could both stand before Fairy Godmother. 

Hades took his seat beside Thanatos and sighed. "This is it. I actually gave her away."

"I'm more shocked she even got with anyone." Thanatos replied. "You know he doesn't know about me."

"Ben knows." Hades admitted. "Mal explained everything to him after the engagement party. How do you think you got on the guest list?"

"Luck of the draw." Thanatos replied with a sarcastic tone.

(Oh, good. This shit is finally getting good. Let's hope it can last forever. Said I)

"You'd have to be pretty damn lucky to just get these seats handed to you really." Hades replied.

Thanatos nodded, "Touche." 

Fairy Godmother then spoke up, "Dear beloved, we are gathered here today to wed King Benjamin and Lady Mal."

(Boring! Let's just do a little time skip to the foreshadowed shit show. Said I)

After the vows, the rings, and all the other shit…

"Do you Ben take Mal to be your wife?" Fairy Godmother asked.

"I do." Ben replied with a smile.

"And Mal do you take Ben to be your husband?" Fairy Godmother asked.

"I do." Mal smiled.

Fairy Godmother smiled, "Then by the power invested in me, I declare you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Ben and Mal then share a passionate kiss, the audience standing, and cheering for them. Even Thanatos.

Soon Ben and Mal pulled away and the audience's cheer and applause died down but one clap was echoing out through the cathedral.

Soon everyone turned to the source of the clap.

(Showtime. Said I)

A black void was there and it started to make shape into a human man.

"Mal. What's that?" Ben asked, confused.

"I bet you're wondering what I am. I am something amazing. Something that is about to fuck this wedding in the heart." The void made one eye grow on the left side of what seemed to be a face and a mouth.

Hades looked at the void, stunned and shocked, "You."

"That's right Hades. I'm back bitch!" The void laughs.

"Listen you cunt. I don't know what the fuck you are, but you better leave before things get really bad for you." Thanatos demands pulling out his crow bar.

"Thanatos so edgy. I wonder if the fan girls will make some Thanatos x Reader books after this series is done." I said.

"What the fuck are you saying Looney Toons?" Thanatos asked.

I laugh in amusement, "And this is the part where I reveal I am Tyrus. The harbinger of chaos and distortion. I am everything that's wrong with this world. And now I'm back baby and ready to do what I do best." I laugh and then clap my hands together, "Behold Auradon. My gaping hole." He laughs and suddenly a portal starts to form in the middle of the walk way.

"The people in the cathedral start to panic and try to run away. But my hole is too big and grand for them to run from." Tyrus said.

Thanatos looks around and sees the girl Lauren from earlier starts getting dragged in. 

Thanatos makes his way to her as fast as he could trying to make his way to her without the portal sucking him inside as it was doing to everyone else inside of the cathedral. 

Thanatos grabs Lauren's wrist, "I got you."

Lauren turns to him, "Thanks."

Celia starts to get dragged into the portal, until Titus from earlier runs out, and grabs 

her wrist and holds her back, "I got you."

"Well this is good for setting up romance subplots. I want to start the real fun." Tyrus smirks and then I clap my hands five times.

Hades, Adam, Belle, Fairy Godmother soon get sucked into the portal as well.

"Dad!" Thanatos and Mal shouted.

"No!" Ben shouted.

"Mom!" Jane cried out.

"Papa no!" Lauren cried out.

"Papa yes." Tyrus smirked as even more people got dragged in then the cathedral started to be pulled in, "I'm going to enjoy this series. Because now children. You're all at my mercy." Tyrus laughs and then the portal starts to swallow on itself.

Suddenly a white light bathes over and then cuts back to the survivors of the suckening. 

(I like that word. Suckening. Said Tyrus)

Thanatos opens his eyes and looks around at once as the cathedral is now nothing but destruction with nothing.

Everyone else who had survived were Mal, Ben, Lauren, Evie, Doug, Carlos, Jane, Jay, Lonnie, Chad, Audrey, Harry, Uma, Gil, Jordan, Dizzy, Celia, Jace, Titus, and Lauren.

"Holy fuck." Thanatos said and stood up and looks around in circles, "Holy fuck." He repeats, "Holy fuck." He said once again, "Holy fu…!" He was cut off by Jane.

"We get the point!" Jane shouted.

"Oh I'm sorry am I overreacting?!" Thanatos shouted.

"Can anyone explain what just happened?" Chad asked, shocked.

"Our friends and families were sucked into a fucking hole! From the fucking ground dumbass!" Jace pointed out.

"Thought so." Chad replied with a nod, "So my next question is. What do we do?!" 

"Mal? Ben? Any ideas?" Doug asks and turns to them.

"I." Mal stutters on her words unable to get the moment out of her head.

"Spill already." Thanatos demands.

"I don't know." Mal admitted.

"Ben? Do you have any ideas?" Celia asked.

"No. I don't know what to do or what we're facing." Ben replied and sat down trying to comprehend what just happened.

"Well. Didn't I say we're gonna have a shit show or what? Now that I'm back, our heroes are confused about my giant hole, and we have our writers properly communicating then maybe we can see where this story goes. See you all soon." Tyrus narrated over the others as they looked around in shock, confusion, and horror.

To be continued...