Gil: Who would last the longest in a zombie apocalypse?

Evie: What?

Harry: Obviously me.

Jay: What are you talking about? Carlos has like six different contingency plans and enough food stockpiled to last him 3 years without leaving his lair.

Carlos: Don't tell my secrets, you idiot!

Jay: I feel like we'd all last a pretty long time. Ben would die really quickly, though.

Ben: Excuse me?

Audrey: Yeah, you have a real soft spot for needy people, and since it's a zombie apocalypse, there'd be a lot and one of them would end up betraying you.

Uma: *clears throat*

Uma: So, Gil dies first because he probably accidentally started the zombie apocalypse, Ben would die second because one of his charity cases would betray him, Audrey third because she refuses to wear anything that's not pink and would get seen easily, Evie fourth because she's way too nice to survive more than six weeks, Harry fifth because he'd try to pet a zombie dog, Jay dies sixth for the same reason as Harry, but he has slightly better impulse control so he'll last longer, Carlos seventh because he'd be really bored without internet and go out at night for no reason at all, and Lonnie eighth because she's a badass and the only one here with self preservation instincts.

Audrey: What about you, Uma?

Lonnie: Oh, she's with me.

Uma: Yeah, I just didn't want to brag.

Uma and Lonnie: *fistbump*

Everyone else: ... Yeah, actually, that all seems about right.