A/N:
Hey guys, I've been writing stories in study hall lately and my friends want me to put this up on Wattpad, so here you go. I hope you guys like it because typing a page and a half takes literally forever. Hope y'all enjoy!
~BlackpeltIsABoss

Politician Purge

John Kassich was having a very bad day. First, he was doing absolutely horrendously in the Republican primary. Unfortunately he was forced to drop out of the campaign from death of dehydration; poor John cried himself to death. Ted Cruz soon met a similar fate while in prison for being the zodiac killer. He was later executed with lethal injections.
A few short hours later, Hilary and Bernie have engaged in a martial arts battle to the death. Bernie attempts a kick to Hilary's ugly face,  but she is a skilled opponent, and catches his leg halfway, shattering it. As he lays crying on the ground, Mrs. Clinton lunges for his throat and leaves him with his vital organs hanging out of his mangled corpse's chest.
But wait, what's that sound? It's the Trump Train! "TRUMP! TRUMP!" Its passengers shout, sounding the screeching whistle. Donald jumps out of the conductor's bay, slapping Hilary across the face with his hair. Trump throws Hilary on the track, whispering "make America great again" a second before she's run over, her brains oozing out of her crushed skull. Meanwhile, Marco Rubio was relaxing on a beach in Guam, right next to Cedar Rapids, after resigning from a very stressful presidential campaign. The main source of Marco's stress had actually been from murdering his ex-girlfriend from high school, Shakira the turtle. Her ghost came back to haunt him on the peaceful beaches of Guam. She dropped a coconut on his head, and because of his short stature, the impact completely flattened him.
*time skip: 4 years*
The passengers of the Trump Train squealed in terror as the train veered away from the safety of the tracks running through Southern Texas. Trump was surveying his fine work on the wall that restricted illegal immigrants from Mexico coming across the border. Suddenly he heard the screeching whistle of the Trump Train behind him and he facepalmed his last facepalm and breathed his last breath. A moment later, the Trump Train slammed into the wall, bringing it crashing down on Trump, who would lay flattened there for eternity.

|⭐️THE END⭐️|

A/N:
I hope you enjoyed this purge of presidential candidates, and yes everyone is now dead. Accept, of course, for Ben Carson, who is not president, but has lived happily ever in Ohio, taking long walks with his family and poking dead things with sticks. Alright, enough from me, bye now!
~BlackpeltIsABoss