You choose the music choice for this one :)

Jimin was in the midst of being eased from his medication when he heard the knocking on his door, now much more relaxed and less anxious compared to how he was before, but now a bit more sluggish after starting to take his regular medication again.

At least it wasn't like his previous pills - that shit would fucking kicked him down without a proper conscious to even defend himself.

This medication was less strong, so at least he can function properly.

So fluttering his eyes open, Jimin glances to the door - where the knocking is still echoing his apartment - before getting to his feet and carefully approaching it while closing his silk robe over his bare upper body. Thankfully with his near sight he was able to capture many glances of things around him to not collide onto anything, before finally reaching the door and opening it.

For a good second he didn't recognize at all the person standing there since they were completely blurred, but after the person took a step forward toward him, Jimin let's out an exhale of relief to Jeongguk's familiar features.

"You should've texted me before coming here," Jimin huffs, appearing casual by the statement, but either way stepping aside, "Why are you here?"

Jeongguk steps into the apartment, removing his shoes by the door before turning to Jimin.

"Talk."

Well..... Shit, this was unexpected.

With eyebrows furrowed, Jimin closed the door and lead Jeongguk to the living room before sitting down on the couch, quietly.

There hasn't been any bad blood going on between them, since the main focus has been about this whole skating thing. Obviously, there's no more practice or training, so they mainly just see each other when it comes to meetings or prepping for a meeting with the rest of the team.

Yet after the protest the other day, obviously due to his fucking relapse, Jimin has been putting distance due to the discomfort of - well - everything.

However before then, him and Jeongguk weren't in bad terms.

Maybe something recently happened -

Jimin got closer to Jeongguk's face after he noticed an unusual dark blur, and that's when he realized what the bruise on his cheek was while Jeongguk was staring at the coffee table.

To make sure it wasn't a fixation of his poor vision, Jimin raises a hand and presses on it lightly - immediately earning a hiss from Jeongguk with eyes snapping towards him.

It's a bruise.

"The fucked happened?" Jimin questions, now turning himself fully while closely looking at the bruise, "Did you get into a fight-"

"W-Wine," Jeongguk breaths, eyes now pleading into Jimin's, "Please."

Wine...

He seriously wants to drink wine right now?

Well, can't blame him. If Jimin got fucked up like that, he would probably want alcohol-

Oh wait.....

He said he wanted to talk....

Immediately Jimin sits up right, "Talk to me in sign language. I will catch onto enough."

It's better for Jeongguk to be sober and explain rather than be intoxicating himself with alcohol.

Jeongguk seemed a bit unsure, but after Jimin gave an encouraging nod, he felt a little more eased. After that little outing together, Jimin has been determined to learn sign language more than before - despite with this whole mess going on. He already knew a lot of the vocabulary before, but now after this consistent practice - and also with the help of Minho and Taehyung - he got to practice it on a more casual perspective.

So, shakily Jeongguk raises his hands and signs, "We got beaten up by these guys outside the dorm."

Jimin had to discretely narrow his eyes to see, but then his heart dropped, snapping his gaze to Jeongguk's steady stare, "What? Are you okay? Did anyone get seriously hurt?"

Evidently Jeongguk relaxed more that Jimin understood what he said, so he nods, "Yeah, no serious injuries, but that isn't what I wanted to talk about."

"Then.... What is it?"

It's obvious that Jeongguk seems a little nervous to talk about whatever is running through his mind, and for his sake hopefully he chokes it out soon before Jimin -

Oh wait he took his medication...

So he'll be fine... Hopefully.

After a moment, Jeongguk nods to himself and looks at Jimin, "I... I think we both didn't give each other the time to talk properly."

Jimin perks a slow eyebrow, "About?"

"Us."

This slightly jolted an unnerving vein in Jimin's body, flinching subtly as though Jeongguk spoke the words out loud, now fiddling his eyes to the coffee table, "There's nothing to talk about. We're in good terms now, there's nothing more than that."

"Jimin," This time Jeongguk spoke, forcing a thick gulp to slide Jimin's throat, "Honest.... Please."

"There's just nothing more to say Jeongguk," Jimin says, feeling himself grow just a subtle bit of discomfort rising up his chest, followed by that shivers of goosebumps, "Yeah, maybe before we did cross a lot of boundaries, but that doesn't change anything."

Suddenly Jeongguk's hands tenderly finds either side of Jimin's jaw, guiding him to face him slowly. By now Jimin's breath hitched, looking to Jeongguk's pleading eyes.

"W-What do you..." Jeongguk shutters out, determined to finish it, "Think..... When t-think of.... Me?"

Jimin's hands twitched to the delicateness of Jeongguk's voice, the warmth of his palms on either side of his jaw, the closeness of his face to his - This moment feeling so delicate yet suffocating, especially from someone's who still has a hard time tolerating physical contact.

So Jimin takes a deep breath, desperately trying to calm himself down, and just staring between Jeongguk's eyes, "I.... Look this is all so sudden to me. I haven't been taking my medication for a while and I just took it again so I'm not processing this as fast as I would like to - If I'm being honest with you."

Jeongguk immediately pulled his hands away from him, as if remembering that Jimin doesn't do physical contact so well, and analyize his features to make sure he's okay. Jimin only gives him a reassuring nod but took the time to ease down the suffocation that built up his throat.

After taking the time to ease down, Jimin now looks at Jeongguk with a bit more assurance of himself, "So.... You want me to tell you, how I feel when I think about you?"

Jeongguk shyly nods now, looking at him with those wide doe eyes.

His gaze alone saying how much he needs this.

He needs to know so to either slice down completely his mixed-up emotions for the other man or to further discover it.

That all depends on Jimin.

So Jimin huffs, ruffling a hand through his hair, "I don't know. I don't know what to feel about anything honestly. This whole shit going on has fucked with my head. I don't even know how I feel with myself."

Jeongguk frowns deeply, hands twitching as though he wanted to comfort Jimin physically, but he kept himself still, "Okay?"

For a good moment Jimin was confused but then saw the sincerity in Jeongguk's eyes, so he slowly understood, "Yeah I'm okay. Spoke shit with my therapist and I guess I took a step forward," And he glances to Jeongguk's hands and back to his eyes, "But I think that maybe you're the one that needs to let things out, so..... Feel free to do so."

Jeongguk nibbles his bottom lip, his eyes focused on Jimin as though he's drinking in his features like smooth wine. Anyone can see just how anxious he's growing to the thought of opening up, especially in this area since they just..... Never do.

But they need this.

They need to know where they stand.

So Jeongguk pushed his doubts, needing to get this off his chest, and starts to sign, "You.... You have done a lot of shit to me."

Jimin frowns to this, but Jeongguk continues, "You triggered my anxiety when we were in the studio to practice. Treated me like shit. Talked to me like I was trash. Banged food to my face and made me feel so fucking vulnerable."

Okay, Jimin doesn't see where this is going.

He knows he's a piece of shit, being reminded of it won't exactly help.

He rolls his eyes, "Okay I fucking get it-"

"But," Jeongguk interrupts, shifting Jimin's hard gaze back to his hands, "You made me stronger willed. A better skater. A better person to understand people well and open my heart more to Taehyung and Minho's relationship - that was just something I wasn't used to."

And a small smile fixes Jeongguk's lips, this tint of a fragile delicacy oozing his gaze, "I don't know when it started or how it did, but when I thought of you, I think to myself 'how the hell is it possible to make a man who's so angry at the world, refuses the care of others, and is so hard on himself happy?' and to this day, hell, I still don't even know."

Jeongguk's smile twitches when Jimin's snorts, keeping his gaze gentle, "But lately these days I could see how much you've wanted to change. To be a better person. I don't know what motivated you to do that, but you have no idea how happy it makes me to see you taking care of yourself. I know it's a hard path and I know it's not easy, but I just want you to know that you can confine in me to be a support for you."

Jimin didn't want to show how fragile he got from the small confession, nor how touched he was by it. It's hard the road he's on - recovering from trauma that he finally is willing to accept, being responsible for his medications, eat a little more, accept the help of others.

It's anything but a smooth journey, and hearing this support, right now, from someone other than Jihyo and Taemin, feels like he finally has someone else who sees him.

Who sees him trying.

Who believes in him.

And it feels..... So fucking relieving.

So with the smallest smile he was able to offer, he was about to speak, but Jeongguk only presses his finger to his lips.

He wasn't done.

"I want us to be good," Jeongguk signs, "When I see you, I see strength. I don't know if you feel this connection that I do, but Jimin..... I need you. In my life as a partner, a friend, whatever the case is, I need you. Because even in the ice or out, we become perfect together. So please, don't push me away and let me just.... Care for you Jimin."

Well, there goes Jimin's attempt in trying not to be emotional.

This is something he definitely was not expecting how this night was going to go.

Would it be safe to...

To perhaps open up?

Is it okay to do so too?

With glossy eyes, Jimin sniffles and just crawls over towards him, climbing on Jeongguk and straddles his lap while facing him. Jeongguk seems to have physically calmed down more, especially when Jimin reluctantly clasp their hands together and raises it up to press his forehead against them.

Breathing in this moment, quietly. As if it was a secret that shouldn't be shared to the world.

Jeongguk stares at him silently, leaning and pressing a soft peck to their interlaced hands with eyes closed.

Jimin's softly tightens his hold, letting out a heavy and choked breath, "When I think of you..... I feel like I can do better at protecting you. I.... I went through a lot of shit okay, and I'm terrified of the thought of you or anyone becoming like how I did because of the things that happened to me."

Comfortingly Jeongguk runs his thumb through their fingers, letting another breath release Jimin's lips, "I don't know how to care for people, but I do want to get better. I want to get better at it. I want to be.... I want to be a better me for me."

When Jimin raised his frail gaze back up to look at Jeongguk's eyes, he could see the tears gleaming his eyes. And he takes it in. The teary gaze, emotional way his lips trembled, yet fighting hard through his smile.

Feeling.

Feeling so much.

Unable to help himself, Jimin carefully leans up and pecks his lips tenderly. He kept it there for a moment or two before he leaned away, staring gently to Jeongguk's gaze.

They didn't say anything, probably didn't have to, since they already knew the answered to the question that lingered into the air.

So carefully Jeongguk places his hand to Jimin's check and eases him back to him, clasping their lips together once again, and just kept it there.

There are so many emotions spiraling between them. This kinetic of energy just rising and piling up over each other coming from somewhere deep in their souls - something that they have shoved down so desperately to avoid and ignore it and hope it'll go away.

But it never does.

And right now, they're tired of holding it back.

"Jimin," Jeongguk murmurs through the kiss, tracing his hands from Jimin's cheek and down the sides of his torso with fingers grazing his robe to finally reach his hips, gripping him tightly before easing his touch, "Stop?"

"No," Jimin answers back, pulling away to look between Jeongguk's eyes, "Do you want to stop? I hope you know what this means if we do continue."

In other words, are you sure you want to take the risk with another man?

Jeongguk is breathless, letting it sink it that either they do this tonight, or they will never get an opportunity like this again.

The question here now is that.... Is Jeongguk ready for this?

Does he really want to take this step with Jimin?

The more he stared at Jimin, the more he realized that he wasn't..... Nervous. Jeongguk didn't feel hesitant nor a single doubt cruising through his mind. For the longest time, he's had this battle of his emotions about Jimin and it was like a never-ending curse.

And it was because he kept doubting it, consistently.

But now..... He won't anymore.

He's not afraid of it.

And he wants to embrace it.

So Jeongguk took his phone from his pocket, silencing it, waving it to Jimin's face before throwing it on the coffee table. Something about that gesture rushed a shiver down Jimin's spine, but he only reaches for his own phone beside them and silenced it as well, putting it back on the coffee table too.

The second he looked back at Jeongguk, the ravenette didn't even waste time in slamming their lips together - right into a hot, needy, and desperate kiss.

Setting off the flames in their bodies immediately.

Jimin hums, running his fingers on Jeongguk's broad chest and to his hair, leaning more towards his mouth to deepen the kiss. It wasn't as profound or something crazy as their previous times where they have kissed before. For some reason this one felt slow, deep, and filled with something lingering the air that they couldn't describe it into words.

But it was real.

This right here is real.

And addictive.

Roughly Jeongguk's fingers grazes Jimin's toned bare thighs, reaching all the way to his butt and squeezes firmly. Instinctively Jimin hisses and arches his back, jolting his hips forward. Jeongguk inhales deeply from the nose and used one hand to trace up Jimin's back, his fingers clawing and dragging down the silk maroon robe around his body before it became off completely.

This feeling now started to feel as though they're drunk, so high out of their minds when Jimin slithers his tongue in Jeongguk's mouth, demanding dominance while his hips rolled to feel the friction of Jeongguk's erection against his own throbbing cock.

It did more than just get Jeongguk turned on.

But it completely riled him off.

With hard hands now gripping Jimin's thighs, Jeongguk gets to his feet and carries Jimin to the bedroom - just as the other man traced sloppy kisses on his neck before sliding his tongue over a vein and bites down.

Jeongguk's legs gave out at the perfect time just as they toppled on the bed. Jimin still had his swollen lips sucking on Jeongguk's neck, forcing a moan out of him and his hips to grind down between his legs to rub their dicks hard.

This had Jimin scorching out a shriek, dipping his head back against the pillows with eyes rolled back - giving Jeongguk enough time to strip his shirt and remove his pants. The seconds that came off, Jimin instantly flipped them over, so Jeongguk's back is to the bed while Jimin straddled his hips.

He rolled his waist, head craned back with lips parted and the stream of brunette hair caressed back like endless waterfalls. Just by the feeling of Jeongguk's hard dick against the line of his anus was enough to have him whimpering like a bitch, especially when Jeongguk's large hands grips his waist and moved him faster against him.

Jimin knew if Jeongguk's continued, he would definitely cum on the spot, so he manages to choke out, "Lube or condom?"

"L-Lube."

Out of some miracle, Jimin managed to get off him and crawl on the bed to his nightstand. Just as he opens the drawer, Jeongguk is on him with his dick gliding up his ass and teeth biting down against Jimin's shoulder with wet hot lips. Jimin grunts loudly, dropping his hand for a moment from looking for the lube as Jeongguk continues to torturously thrust his hips forward - clearly so desperate to shoving his dick inside him.

Shit, Jimin needs to hurry.

So eagerly, Jimin feels around the drawer before finally pulling out the lube and pours it all over his hand, leaving the bottle on the nightstand and turns around while still laying down. He hooks Jeongguk's waistband of his boxers and drags them down along with himself.

Jeongguk's cock is throbbing, twitching and leaking brutally with pre-cum.

The sight alone had Jimin drooling, and before he had any idea what he was doing, he leans and licks his tongue over the drips of pre-cum right on the tip.

Jeongguk shrieks, subconsciously thrusting his hips forward, and Jimin then boldly wraps his lips around the tip before taking him all in his mouth.

"Fuck!" Jeongguk moans, elbows collapsing below him, unable to stop his hips from moving against Jimin's desperate mouth as he sucks him in, running his tongue up and down his length before flicking his tongue to the tip.

Hard, Jeongguk's hips moves hard and fast against Jimin's mouth, moaning so desperately to the point his throat strained, believing he might just cum right then and there.

But that's when Jimin pulled away, breathing heavily with a lick of his lips. Without saying a word, he slides up to be in between Jeongguk's elbows on the bed, roughly moving his lips against Jeongguk's parted ones.

Just as his hand with lube strokes Jeongguk's cock, provoking an aggressive groan out of the ravenette's lips as he kisses Jimin harder, growling to the thumb that teased over his tip as Jimin's hand kept stroking him.

Until he stopped, right when Jeongguk was juiced up well with lube.

Jimin pulls their lips away, glowing eyes gazing between Jeongguk's glittering ones.

And he whispers, "You still have time to back out now. If we continued, you'll be having sex with a man. Are you okay with that?"

Jeongguk blinks softly at him, already having his mind made up before suddenly using one hand to slide down Jimin's boxers. Taking them off all the way.

Leaving the two completely naked.

"Trust," Jeongguk whispers, taking his dick in his hands and rubs his tip against Jimin's anus, making the man quiver in anticipation, "Trust you."

That was all that needed to be said.

And Jeongguk presses his dick through Jimin's anus, making Jimin immediately twist his face to the scorching pain with his head pressing back against the pillows, screeching. Jeongguk would've prepped him if it wasn't for the fact that Jimin didn't like to be prepped, since he said it's too much in relations to sentimentality.

He likes the pain.

The force to be stretched open.

The sadistic mixture of pain transforming into pleasure.

He loves it.

And having it come from Jeongguk makes it even better

"Jimin?" Jeongguk whispers cautiously, noticing the tears gliding down Jimin's cheeks, "Okay?"

Jimin takes a deep breath, calming himself down with a nod, meeting Jeongguk's gaze, "I'm okay. Please don't stop. Keep going."

Jeongguk eyed him for a moment before clasping their lips together, harder this time just as he squeezes more and more into Jimin, groaning to the tightness in a shivering boost of hormonal lust driving in every cell of his body.

Pathetically Jimin whimpers, just as Jeongguk went all the way in. However Jeongguk didn't move yet, not until Jimin adjusted well to him to move.

After a few seconds, Jimin groans and moved his hips a little, choking out a sharp breath from Jeongguk's lips.

"Jeongguk, can you do me a favor?"

Jeongguk glances to Jimin's lips, nodding slowly back.

"Don't hold back," Jeongguk's cheeks blushed, "And completely wreck me."

For a moment Jeongguk had to process what he just said, but once it did, hell....

There's no way he could've stopped now.

His lips devours over Jimin's sinful lips, easing his hips back before railing himself forward with a hard and deep thrust. One that had Jimin choking on his breathes but was soon replaced by a high breathless moan when Jeongguk thrusts into him again.

And again.

And again.

Until he was downright ramming into into him. His hips snapped hard, having no control anymore. Jimin's fingers dug his back, nails clawing his bare skin to keep him close while Jeongguk drops his head beside Jimin's, sinking his teeth to his neck in growls of possessiveness to the man he's making his.

One of Jimin's legs traces up, up until he uses the force of his body to twirl them back around so he's riding on his dick. Jeongguk mewls back against the sheets, strong hands unable to stop tracing Jimin's thighs and hips before aggressively thrusting up into him while Jimin rolled his hips to the sensation with an aggressive lip bite.

And that lip bite did things to Jeongguk's head.

He sits up and grabs Jimin's face, capturing their lips together while Jimin whines desperately as he continues to move fluidly against his cock, unable to stop himself from moaning to how good it feels inside him.

Jeongguk's head is swimming and his body couldn't handle sitting up, so he lays back down but this time with Jimin under him again, moaning over and over as his hips moves faster before he stuttered forward one last time.

Cumming inside him.

He continued to thrust inside him to ride out his orgasm, just as Jimin soon cummed moments afterwards with scream and a breathless moan.

Exhausted and completely drained, Jeongguk pulled out of Jimin but still remained with his whole body weight on him as he laid his head on his chest, eyes closed while breathing heavily.

Jimin also was trying to catch his breath, now feeling like thick liquid with the exhaustion slowly striking him while one of his hands tenderly caresses Jeongguk's hair.

They stayed like this, in this silence together, just paused over this moment in time.

It felt nice.

Well, while it lasted.

Jimin's vision still is blurred as he looks at the ceiling, knowing it's not from the high of sex, and that small reminder of his fate had him with his lips wobbling.

And he just.... Couldn't take it.

The vulnerability he has after sex is a fucking curse.

"Jeongguk," He whispers, clearly reluctant in his tone, "I - I need to tell you something."

When Jeongguk didn't respond, Jimin assumed that the man must've passed out asleep, but then Jeongguk moved and slowly plops his elbows on either side of Jimin's head, staring down at him with that.... Gentle glow despite how tired he is.

Jimin stares at him for a moment before gently reaching over, clasping his jaw and leaning his face closer.

Now able to see his pretty features better.

A small wobble trembles Jimin's lips, chuckling weakly as he caresses a strand of Jeongguk's hair away from his eyes, "There.... Now I can see you better."

Jeongguk furrows his eyebrows, confusion clear in his eyes.

So Jimin took a deep breath, nodding to himself and allowing his heart to open up, "I.... Um - One day..... O-One day I.... Shit."

Jeongguk now realizing more the severity of this slowly gets off Jimin, giving him the space to gather his thoughts or air properly without feeling suffocated. It did work, just barely, but then Jimin just couldn't take it.

And he stared crying.

Laying on his side, knees to his chest, Jimin cries with a hand tightly holding onto Jeongguk's hand - who also lays on his side with a frown as he holds tightly to Jimin's hand.

Giving him the time to open up, whenever he wants to.

Jimin cried for a while, hiccuping and wheezing in his breath, all the way until it mellowed down to a wheeze.

Once they were brought back to this silence, hands still interlaced together, Jimin now felt more relaxed than earlier, especially to Jeongguk's patient eyes staring into his.

"I'm sorry," Jimin whispers, caressing his thumb over Jeongguk's nuckles, "It's not easy to.... Talk about it."

Jeongguk only softly nods, raising their hands and pecks over it while laying his cheek on it.

To this Jimin tenderly smiles, weakly, but then it drops to a frown, "There's going to come a time where I won't see you Jeongguk."

This snaps Jeongguk's expression, as though he was slapped, but he still remaned calm.

Letting Jimin finish.

Even through his shock.

And so Jimin did.

"I have LHON: Leber Hereditary Optic Neuropathy. It's this type of vision loss that's passed down. It mainly effects the central vision, but for my condition it has fucked itself over," Jimin says quietly, "I have lost sight already from a far perspective, which explains why I don't drive anymore and I'm always with Taemin and Jihyo. It's probably in no time before I lose my near sight vision, and unfortunately.... There's no cure for this."

Jeongguk remains still.

Completely still.

So Jimin finishes it off, feeling the tears in his eyes again, "T-That's why I quit the skating program in the first place. I didn't want to keep hurting you and my last memory with my vision is to have you being disappointed in me. But.... I-I miss you. I miss skating. I-I miss ballet and I just..... This is getting worse and I'm so fucking scared Jeongguk."

Noticing Jimin's sudden panic rising, Jeongguk snaps out of his shock to carefully wrap his arms around Jimin's quivering body. No, Jimin didn't want to cry again. He wanted to let this out.

He wanted to let it all out.

He wanted to be honest with Jeongguk, while also facing himself.

"I-I'm depressed and have an explosive anger disorder. I'm anorexic, and I-I'm so afraid of being so emotional with people because," Jimin catches his breath, squeezing his eyes shut with his hands pressing against his neck to the suffocating knot that tied itself inside, "I-I was raped w-when I was abroad. N-Not just once but multple t-times. T-That's why I-I can't trust people. W-Why I push them away and am a perfectionist - To finally feel like I have s-some kind of control of my life."

Jeongguk tightens his arms around Jimin, just as the fragile man continues to choke these words out through his weak quivers.

While Jeongguk desperately tried not to cry his heart out to Jimin's confession.

"I-I'm sorry that I was so m-mean to you, I really am," Jimin whimpers, resting his forehead against Jeongguk's chest, "I-I'm a fucking mess and I just wish...... I just fucking wish I was normal."

Holding back his sobs now, Jeongguk closes his eyes as the tears glided down his cheeks and he presses a soft peck to Jimin's head before pulling back and kisses his forehead after he guided his face back with his large hands, nuzzling it together.

Jimin's lips trembled, closing his eyes, "I - I wanted to tell you this because you deserve to know. Throughout my whole life I've been so scared about everything and everyone, and you did the one thing that no one has done for me."

At the same time both of their eyes fluttered open, and Jimin felt as though air was slowly entering his body to seeing the brown orbs of Jeongguk's eyes.

"You didn't let me fall."

That finished off Jeongguk to have his lips trembling and quivering like a small child, sniffling as he looks at Jimin with his endless tears, caressing his cheek with a thumb while wiping his tears away.

"B-Brave," Jeongguk croaks out, "S-So brave...... Proud."

Jimin closes his eyes again once his face twists, shaking his head before leaning and clasping their lips together once again. Jeongguk breaths it in, pouring his heart into it with every fiber in his soul.

The words were there.

Just at the tip of their tongue.

Words that would cross the barrier of this what they have now.

Yet through this kiss spoke what their lips couldn't say.

Not yet at least.

So all Jeongguk could say instead is, "Stay."

And this time, Jimin didn't fighting him off.

Only quivers a small smile against his lips, "I will."

_________________________

A/N:

Ah, gotta leave it to me on how to make things from emotional, steamy, to back being emotional.

:')

Well I have the next chapter after this one written too, but have to do a few editing before publishing it!

I PURPLE YOU!!!! <333