(Last night when I updated, I totally missed the note for you guys :( As you could tell I was really out of it. BUT I PURPLE YOU!! <3333)

Blue And Grey - BTS

Something has clearly changed ever since the day Jimin left Jeongguk's dorm.

Not that it was so obvious at first, since Jeongguk doesn't speak or is someone who demonstrates his emotions so openly to the world. Jimin doesn't usually put notice to small things, or in this case behavior changes. Either that or he just doesn't put care into it.

But after him and Jeongguk has failed to do one simple move together properly during their practice that they decided to have today, not just once but various of times, that's when Jimin began to suspect something was off. Before they would practice this same routine and get it done well right off the batt, maybe sometimes mess up on a subtle steps but it wasn't something that could be fixed with more practice or was just wrong footing placement.

At first Jimin would let it slide, not putting mind into it.

But after Jeongguk's hand nearly slipped upon carrying him in a lift, Jimin's panic and frustration became explosive and raised intensively with the flashback to the time he would have his partners drop him out of exhaustion.

He had to get down immediately.

"Stop, stop!" Jimin demands, his feet on the floor now when Jeongguk immediately puts him down, instantly going towards the radio by the corner of the training room and turns off the music. While he did that Jeongguk turned his ear piece back on, just as quickly as Jimin turns back around to him with hands on his hips.

"What is with you! We would get this routine down easily before!"

Jeongguk didn't look at him, hands on his own hips as he pants out heavy breathes past his lips while running a hand through his long strands of hair.

This was chipping off Jimin's patience, the fact that he's choosing to not explain himself.

He has his phone, he can definitely write it down!

Angrily Jimin marches up to him, nudging a hand to his shoulder, "Look at me when I'm talking to you! Did you get too fucked over yesterday? Last time I checked, I was the one who got his head slammed to a locker! Focus! Our event is two days after New Years!"

Jeongguk still didn't advert his gaze, only intensely stares at the ground with furrowed eyebrows in clear trouble. Yesterday was Christmas, so Jimin wouldn't be so surprised if the ravenette got a little hungover with alcohol for his celebration, but that doesn't make it an excuse to act like shit today! He should've been responsible! Even Yoongi told Jimin that he shouldn't be practicing since his body needs time to regain energy, yet he's still working his ass off!

Even through his blurred vision, but that's not something he's not use to.

If only Jackson was here instead calling a day off, this wouldn't be happening since he sure as hell knows how to get them moving.

When Jeongguk still didn't try to say or do anything, Jimin went with his only go to when he's frustrated to not completely lash out to his face.

Walking away.

If he stays a second long in this room, Jeongguk will understand exactly why Jimin's pairing partners for ballet can't stand him. If Jimin wants to stay in this program, he has to control his tongue. So with that being said, he turns around, goes to gather his stuff to the side of the wall.

"Practice is over. Text me when you decide to get your shit togeth- What!"

Jimin is whirled around by a hand on his wrist, infuriating his rage when he met Jeongguk's steady stare. Right when he was about to open his mouth to sneer a round of curses, a rough hand is over his lips and pushing him backwards until his back crashed to the wall with his head pinned.

Eyes wide now, Jimin freezes.

Shit.

Jeongguk is glowering down at him, keeping his hand firmly on his lips to silence his words. His other hand is to the side of Jimin's face against the wall, creating a barrier from him to the door so he wouldn't try to leave; Not like Jimin would even try to leave either way since against Jeongguk he's clearly not so physically strong.

So he waits... And listens.

Jeongguk stares into his eyes, gulping, "Stay."

Jimin glances to his lips when the quiet words oozes out of his lips, being whispered out like a quiet secret between the two. He's still frozen against the wall, mouth concealed by the hand so not like he can argue back, still not daring to make an attempt to move.

Well, so he tried to tell himself.

But Jimin being someone who hates being intimidated, raised his hands and shoves them against Jeongguk's chest to push him back. The hand is removed from his mouth, now gripping his wrists tightly together and yanking him forward in a rough shackle. Jimin's breath hitches, eyes now glaring into Jeongguk's endless dark eyes with their sudden close proximity.

Looks like Jeongguk is getting touchy today.

"Jimin."

A chill shiver runs down Jimin's spine, glances from his two wrists being held by Jeongguk's single hand, still trapped by the hand between him and the door. The air feels thicker to breathe, only focused on Jeongguk's stern stare with his monotone gaze back.

The man didn't seem fazed by the closeness between them, only kept holding the stare as he slowly guides the two back. Jimin was captivated by the stare, like a pathetic sailor to a siren to the endless seas, moving his feet slowly to following Jeongguk back until they're at the center of the studio.

No words were said, or were probably necessary, as Jeongguk guides Jimin to the starting position of their routine.

And they began to start their routine, as though they were on the ice.

Something about going over it in silence rather than the music felt more intimate. Jeongguk was following quicker to Jimin's moves, the lifts coming out strong and elegant just as Jackson urged them to achieve together. From there Jimin could see Jeongguk's improvement from start to now. How much his practices been paying off, and it's obvious he doesn't just practice here in the rink, since he's catching up with great speed.

His hard work is paying off, perfectly.

However that thought quickly vanishes when once again Jeongguk's hand slips hold holding Jimin's thigh when they were on their last lift, this time with Jimin actually close to meeting the ground if it wasn't for Jeongguk tightening his arms around him to catch him before he did.

And that explosion came back, the trance being gone, this time worse than before.

Jimin scrambles off of Jeongguk's arms, facing him in rage, "What is with you! I'm getting tired of this bullshit from you! Did something happen, huh? Was it Namjoon?"

Jeongguk's jaw tensed, most definitely giving off a sign by when he turns his head to the side.

Of course it was Namjoon.

He probably told him things between the two to get into his fucking head.

Such a fucking dick! He never gives it a rest.

Jimin actually had to smile, a very angry and calm smile, shaking his head with a small chuckle before looking back to Jeongguk, "I thought I told you already that we would be fucking professional. You knew of the relationship I had with your brother! What the fuck did he tell you?"

Jeongguk only shakes his head to his words, rubbing a hand down his face with fingers gripping his hair.

Oh but Jimin wasn't done.

"Look, we both said we were going to come here and practice. Show your professionalism! We are never going to get shit done if you don't know how to handle anything! You're only going to hear worse things about me from here on out, either from the press or other people, and if you can't fucking handle it then JUST QUIT ALREADY AND WE WON'T BE WASTING OUR TIME!"

This was like a brutal blow to Jeongguk, provoking him to stumble back slightly with his back meeting the mirror, now both hands rubbing his ears. Jimin furrows his eyebrows to his sudden composure crumbling, confused to what the fuck is going on, but then it suddenly took him off guard when Jeongguk aggressively pulls out something from his ears and throws it beside him.

Something Jimin has never noticed before due to his long hair curtaining his ears.

Hearing aids.

Jeongguk has hearing aids.

The slow realization tumbles down Jimin like a ton of brinks, clasping his fingers to the back of his neck and dropping his head back with eyes closed to gather his fucking mind. He knew of Jeongguk's speech deficiency, but no one cared to fucking mention he was also deaf too.

Oh this is a mess.

A whole damn mess.

Jimin's mind crumbled, lips moving in a mumble before his mind could say something coherent, "You are going to be a fucking problem for me, I swear," And when Jimin snaps his head back to see how to handle the situation, he was even more surprised to see tears glistening Jeongguk's eyes while he rubs his ears.

And now he's crying?

For fuck sakes-

"I should be the one crying here!" Jimin groans irritatingly, stomping his foot, "Why did you think it was a good idea to not tell me you were- Fuck! Can you even hear me? I don't even know how this works!"

When Jeongguk looks up to his angry exclaims with his baby eyes, Jimin knew he heard him- Or somewhat heard him. So he must be able to distinguish some noise. That didn't stop him from whimpering and rubbing his ears repeatedly, now shaking like a small little puppy.

If there's anything Jimin is horrible in, it's comforting someone.

He's hates being comforted as it is, so being one to do the honors in helping others in their own state of emotional distress isn't exactly something he knows how to do.

Right now he's just so damn annoyed that Jackson didn't mention this before!

How is he suppose to handle this situation?!

A deep breath exhales Jimin's lips, staring at the quivering man who's now rubbing his arms anxiously with trembling lips gazing to the ground. Well he has to do something and not just stand there like an idiot. So in hesitation, Jimin approaches Jeongguk slowly and squats down in front of him.

Jeongguk doesn't look at him now, not like Jimin was asking him either way.

Shit, what should he even say?

He doesn't know why Jeongguk is suddenly acting like this! He's no doctor!

Doctor....

Oh right! Yoongi!

He's probably here!

Quickly Jimin focused his eyes on Jeongguk after looking at his trembling hands, pressing a hand to his arm, "Hey, I'm going to go get Yoongi okay? Trust me, he'll be of much better help-"

"No," Jeongguk whimpers, shaking his head with eyes dilating, "S-Stay."

But Jimin is completely useless!

How the fuck is he suppose to help him?

Would google know?

A struggled huff puffs out his throat, eying at Jeongguk in unease while just patting his arm awkwardly while trying to think of something. The more he thought about it, the more stressed he grew since he just doesn't know! He's never been in a position like this with someone!

And he was honest in voicing it out.

"I really don't know what to do. You're all hyperventilating here and can't even talk-"

Strong arms wraps around Jimin from his waist, pulling him forward and squeezing him tightly with fingers digging his back.

Once again was Jimin left completely paralyzed.

Hugging..... Jeongguk is hugging him?

That....Helps?

Jimin's face coils, pressing his hands against Jeongguk's shoulders to push him back, "Is this some weird excuse for you to touch me? I swear you're really asking for it-"

"Stay," Jeongguk whispers again, this time so weak as though he may break, lips close to Jimin's ear that it nearly grazed his skin but he quickly shifted to burying his face to his neck to be concealed from the world, or feel protected.

Whatever the case may be, Jimin isn't exactly the greatest shield. He's can't even look after himself properly, Christmas Eve being an example of that, how is he suppose to protect someone else?

That's why his relationships -friendship or with anyone really- don't last long. Jimin just doesn't know how to care for them.

Or even care enough to think of how to care for them.

Maybe that's why he was a little awkward when Jeongguk just held him, breathing heavily with hiccups every once in a while in desperation to not sob. Jimin didn't exactly hug him back even if he could, since to be fair he was a bit in an uncomfortable angle, and because he's just not much of a physical contact person for affection.

Man, he is an ice bitch.

A deep grimace forms his lips and his eyes flickering ahead, facing his own reflection on the mirror. The man staring back at him is the same one he sees everywhere; His home, training room, studio, walking down the street while passing by stores- There's not a place where he is that this man isn't there.

And... He doesn't look well.

Eye bruised, clamp skin coated in sweat, brunette dark chocolate hair in twirling messes on his head with a few strands sticking to the sides of his face.

And lastly.... His dark gaze. A gaze threatening to hold his composure as the ravenette haired man holds onto him, refusing to let him go even if Jimin did continue to fight against him. That twitching vulnerability urges to escape that wall Jimin has built around his heart, not allowing himself to feel pity or empathy to the point it just wasn't there.

They're just partners.

Nothing more than figure skating partners.

Why is Jeongguk always doing this? Helping him, then go on to be distant, to now holding him as though his life depended on it. It doesn't make sense and Jimin absolutely will not allow himself to have his mind get fucked over because of it.

So he only shakes his head, once again making an attempt to move but Jeongguk hold is tighter with this time a pleading sob escaping his lips.

What the fuck is going on with him? Why is he acting like a desperate child now?

Jimin was just about to consider screaming for help, but then he hears something that chokes the words back into his throat.

"I need you. Stay. Grounded, need to be grounded. Stay. I'm scared. They're going to get me. I'm scared. Grounded."

Those muffled and shuttered whispers chattering out of Jeongguk's lips, exhaling it out with every unease breath he manages to push. It sounded like a hushed trance, unable to snap out of it even if he did try. He moved his fingers to clasp together around the middle of Jimin's torso, holding him as though he was an anchor to himself.

And slowly Jimin began to understand.

Not only understand, but be familiarized to it.

Flashbacks, he's having flashbacks of a memory.

That explains.... A lot.

Jimin has had many moments like that. Going through a horrid mental break down or panic attack due to the inability to distinguish between reality and past memories. He use to get that a lot as a young kid to teenage years, but then as he became more colder and uncaring to the world, the less frequent it happened.

He still can't get on a bus though, his memory of the past that being his biggest trigger to those frail moments of vicious flashbacks of his past.

How did he not notice the signs before? Has it been that long since he's gotten an episode?

With Jeongguk it's a little different unlike Jimin when he handles it, clearly. Whenever Jimin had episodes, he was alone. Dealing with it while no one was watching. Even if someone happened to be there, physical contact scared the shit out of him and made it worse. He felt like he was reliving that nightmare all over again from his childhood past, being the reason why he could never go on a bus ever in his life.

Meanwhile Jeongguk relies on physical contact to keep himself grounded.

Hm, he definitely depends a lot on others for emotional stability so it seems.

The thought twitched a frown to Jimin's lips, feeling himself relax slowly against his body before casting a glance to the window of the door from the mirror to make sure no one was around. It's the day after Christmas, the players of every team have no practice until after New Years.

And the door is locked.

Good.

Jimin presses his hands on Jeongguk's shoulders, shuffling a little, "Jeongguk, I'm going to move-"

"No-"

"Don't worry, I'm just getting comfortable since my leg is cramping, in case you didn't noted I'm twisted like a bagel right now," Jimin mutters, "Just ease your hold, just enough for me to move."

Jeongguk was hesitant, scared that his anchor would be far from reach again to the present, but he still obeyed Jimin's word and loosens his grip- Just by a tiny bit.

That was enough for Jimin to swing a leg over Jeongguk's lap, getting his legs comfortable on either side of him before sitting down on his thighs, "I know this is a bit of an intimate position and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable-"

Jimin is jolted forward once again by Jeongguk's tangled hands pressing against the end of his spine, pulling him so close that his chest is pressed against Jeongguk's with no room to even breathe. Jeongguk's face is still buried to the crook of his neck, inhaling profoundly and relaxing to Jimin's body so close to his.

Contact, he needs contact to feel grounded.

It took everyone in Jimin to not squirm from such new waters he's stepping on, never having anyone hold him this way before until now. Usually Jimin has put a line with his past partners on how much contact they should have with him, and it's not exactly a lot.

Sure, Jimin has had good sex before, a great moment of intimacy, but removing that whole affectionate area of it. He doesn't like feeling someone too touchy with him or soft. Not only making him feel uncomfortable, but also invaded of space. He feels if someone is too tender, they're too weak. He hates having someone be weak for him, and that usually comes with physical contact.

Now being like this... Jimin doesn't feel that unease that would crawl up his skin whenever someone lingers their touch on him for too long. Maybe it's because he knows Jeongguk's intention isn't to be soft with him personally, but to be a mental stability while his episode eases it's way down.

And for some reason.... Helping someone like this... It made something warm crush Jimin's chest.

So, this is how it feels huh?

Being compassionate?

Maybe he isn't a cold bitch after all. Or perhaps it's just a one time thing.

"A-Angel," Jimin's attention flickers to Jeongguk's whimper of his voice, sinking in a breath when Jeongguk shuttering a sob as he practically cradles Jimin in his arms, "My angel."

Now Jimin doesn't know if he is referring to a memory he's living through, or maybe he's hallucinating. Whatever the case may be, he is calming down now so it's working.

Because Jimin is definitely no angel. Sure, he's played angel roles before, but definitely is not a savior.

Thinking it over a moment or two longer on what else he could do, Jimin decided to somehow help him even if he has no idea how to. Well, it's not much but it'll be something to calm down more- hopefully.

Reluctantly Jimin wanders his fingers from his sides and up to Jeongguk's neck, tracing his skin on his neck with his finger tips and hugs him tightly with a hand threading through his raven hair in gentle caresses. That was all it took for a weight to be chipped of Jeongguk's shoulders, relaxing but bringing Jimin so close in such a comforting embrace that Jimin as ever felt before from inside.

And his eyes began to gloss with tears.

There's this saying about how humans have this tendency to crave for physical contact, almost like being deprived of it. Jimin has called that bullshit many times before. He never had that need or want for physical contact, let alone has been addicted to let it influence his moods or behavior.

Now as Jeongguk holds him this close to his body, refusing to let him go, Jimin didn't know why he was getting emotional with it. His throat is clutching up, hand running through Jeongguk's hair began to tremble, just like his lips but he only bites his own arm to not fall into that temptation to whimper or cry.

One of the two has to be the stronger one after all, and with Jimin getting emotional now wouldn't exactly help Jeongguk in any way relax.

C'mon Jimin! Get your shit together!

Jimin exhales a deep breath, blinking the tears back before gathering his composure and nods to himself, "We can't last long, someone might catch us. If anyone sees us like this, the could get the wrong idea."

Jeongguk by now has completely calmed down, just sniffling but he did listen to Jimin since he nods and slowly pulls his head back. Jimin relaxes to the embrace coming to it's end and also pulls back, facing Jeongguk now. The tears are still staining his cheeks and his nose is a light pink from his crying, but Jimin only grimaces to it and uses a thumb to brush the remaining tears away.

"Whatever was running through your mind can't get to you anymore, okay?" Jimin says quietly, feeling a little flustered to Jeongguk's sparkling doe eyes staring directly at his lips, "You're going to walk out of this training room with your head high, and I promise you no one will dare hurt you."

Jeongguk remains there with his face still puffy, but he does subtly nod with a weak smile back while no longer using his lips to speak.

Not like Jimin needs to hear him either way, he already knows enough.

Jimin twitches, just barely, a smile, nodding back, "Whenever you're ready, we can leave."

Jeongguk stayed there on the floor for sometime, eyes closed while taking deep breathes to get gather himself together. His hands are now on Jimin's hips, thumbs rubbing against his sides but not like Jimin paid too much attention to it. He would just help him look decent by brushing the stands of hair away from his face, wiping the tears away and waits.

By the time Jeongguk has made his decision, he flutters his eyes open and nods once again. So Jimin piles off him, getting to his feet with a hand extended out. Jeongguk rubs his face with his hands, taking deep breathes before taking Jimin's hand and getting to his feet.

From the two didn't say anything more. Jimin puts on a pair of sweatpants over his spandex pants while Jeongguk puts on his hoodie, sneakily putting back his ear piece to which then made Jimin sink in more the idea that flew past his mind earlier that Jeongguk had them off this entire time.

Wait so... How did he... Hear him?

The questions left him a bit dazed to the possibilities, just as the two gathered their stuff and exit the training room. Just as expected, no one is here at the rink. That extra assurance really did bring Jimin to ease. Not for his sake, but for Jeongguk. He doesn't give two shits about what the media may say about him, but as for Jeongguk that's a different story.

As mentioned before, traditional country with traditional values, this story is just a gateway for Jeongguk's career to be fucked over.

They got lucky this time, not like there will be a next time.

Jimin adjusts his duffle bag over his shoulders, "I'll drive you to the dorm."

Jeongguk didn't say anything, but he didn't fight back. So Jimin assumed he is okay with it and only lead the two out of the rink and to the parking lot. This is another thing Yoongi mentioned not to do; driving. It's not like Jimin has to drive much either way, Jeongguk's dorm is just down the street and Jimin's apartment is a few minutes away.

Besides he already drove yesterday and it was a smooth ride.

When the two got in the car, Jimin quickly turned on the engine and crank the heat up since it's unbearably cold outside today. Jimin waited a bit for the car to warm up, but couldn't stop overthinking about earlier at the training room.

But one thing specifically.

Jimin turns on his seat, just as Jeongguk puts on his seat belt, "How did you hear me?"

Jeongguk snaps his eyes to him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"When we were in the training room.... While I was talking to you.... The hearing aids.."

Slowly the realization also settled Jeongguk to what Jimin meant, nodding slowly before pointing to his own lips, "Speak."

Jimin's mind went blank.

The fuck is that suppose to even mean?

It was obvious Jimin was left even more confused than how he previously was, making Jeongguk only chuckle to himself with a shake of his head before sitting back with eyes focused ahead to the parking lot.

Is he seriously not going to elaborate?

Well then, that'll just be left unsaid.

Clear a story for another time.

Jimin rolls his eyes and changes the gear to drive, "Well then, fuck me and my efforts to help you then."

Jeongguk's soft chuckles is the only thing left ringing the car as Jimin drives them out of the parking lot.

Just as it began to snow.

________________________

A/N:

Tender moments, how are we feeling?

Maybe I got emotional from a few points here and there, but well held it in like a champ :')

Let's get to New Years and see how it's being celebrated :)

I PURPLE YOU! <33