Chapter Twenty Nine

Rison sat on the stone steps that had borne witness to the earlier charade, the so-called trial of Caddo. Spots of blood bearing testament to her betrayal and failure dotted the ancient limestone. She wiped the tears from her face, muttering under her breath all the while. The anger she felt toward Rusk and Kemp had long ago dissipated only to be replaced with shame and self-loathing, eating at her like a cancer and threatening to drag her deep into despair.

Guilt weighed heavy and she knew she would suffocate under its burden.

Unless...

No! There is nothing to be done. I betrayed him, just as he knew I would. Somehow... somehow he knew.

Unless...

No! He would reject me for my betrayal, for my doubt. And I could not blame him.

All true. Every word. Unless...

No! He will hate me and I deserve his hatred.

Again, all true. Unless...

She paused. Thinking. Remembering.

Caddo was always so much more than what he appeared. A sense of mystery and knowledge followed him like a faithful dog. It was hidden, arcane knowledge. He was always thinking, he always had a plan. It amazed her that she had never seem him act in rashness or in panic. He bent people and events to his will as if his unseen hand controlled all things.

On the other hand, her spontaneity and occasional lack of thinking things through had earned his ire more than once over the years. He had taught her the world was a dangerous place, a place where you always looked behind the door. You always checked for tracks. You always listened for unexpected noises. Why? Because no one would do it for you.

He had once told her, "Use your head for something other than a place to store your ears."

In spite of her misery, she smiled at the distant memory. Use your head. It was so very long ago and his voice sounded so faint.

Use your head.

She reached down and touched the blood on the stone, now darkened and sticky. It was the blood of Caddo, blood that was shed because she had acted the fool. Because she doubted. And that thought sickened her because he had never once given her any real reason to doubt. She looked at her hands, calloused and scarred and smeared with Caddo's blood and knew it would never come off. She was forever stained by his blood. It was a fact and she would live with that knowledge for the rest of her days.

Use your head.

It was then she realized there was a choice. And there was always a choice. Caddo had showed her that long ago. There was always another way.

So here she sat. She could continue to wallow in self-pity, mired in disgust and clothed with despair.

Unless...

Unless, she didn't. Unless she acted. Unless she refused to submit to defeat.

Caddo's out there. He's strapped to a sled and unless I get busy, he's gonna die.

She wiped the blood on her shirt and rose to her feet.

That's right girl. Use your head.

This time, his voice sounded pleased.

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Skins bulging with water sloshed against the sides of the mule but she paid little mind to the animal and its load.

She was deep in the heart of the Wastelands. It was dark. She was alone.

Strange noises sounded in the distance and for the first time since that spectacle in the clearing, she remembered the zelinx. It occurred to her then the beast couldn't be far away and she hoped it remained under Wyatt's control.

Wyatt! With all that had happened, he had slipped her mind. But now, it all came roaring back. She smiled, remembering his gentleness, his resolve, his steadiness. And then, there was the shock and dismay on his face upon realizing she had been the one to betray Caddo. She felt as though her heart was shriveling up into a dead thing. How could she claim to love him, to love anything, when her life was filled with such deceit and betrayal?

Do I really even know what love is? Has anyone ever shown love to me? How could I possibly know about love unless I've experienced it? And I can't and I won't... because no one loves me. A wave of anguish rolled over her leaving her weak and defeated.

Yeah? What about Caddo? The thought bothered her, taking her attention from the chirps and yips resounding in the night. Well, what about him?

He protected her. Always. He had kept her from those who would destroy her because of the mark of the Speck she kept hidden. He had saved her countless times from savagery and exposure, often at great risk to his own safety. He bore the scars she herself would have borne had he not intervened and shielded her with his own body.

He taught her. Relentlessly. He taught her to be strong, not just physically, but mentally. She could face and defeat almost any man in the clan due to his training and example. He wanted her to think, to see the facts and reach logical conclusions. She knew how to think, what to watch for, what was a danger. She knew--because of Caddo--the world was not as it should be, not as it was meant to be, and that a day was coming when it would be restored. She knew the mindless worship of the alien overlords, the Mandu, was nothing but a path to destruction and death.

He put her needs first. She hadn't even recognized it until now but she had always been the first to drink, the first to eat, the first to reach safety and security, the first to be comfortable. He knew when she needed a harsh word of correction but more importantly, he knew when she needed a kind word of encouragement.

Is that love? Is it really that simple? She realized she had been looking for some grandiose thunderclap of emotion or a road sign pointing the way. But maybe the answer had been right in front of her all along. Caddo had always treated her like she was his own daughter, putting her and her needs before his own. It was his selfless way of living she had come to expect from him. That, she now saw with stunning clarity, was the purest form of love imaginable.

And she had taken it all for granted.

She had never seen his actions for what they were. His care went unnoticed and unappreciated.

Well, the time had now come for the tables to be turned. She was the one who needed to step up and stop worrying about her doubts and insecurities, to stop questioning her abilities and motives. She needed to think about what Caddo needed.

And right now, he needed to get free of that sled.

A sharp scrabbling sound emitted from the blackness, the sound of movement over the rocks and sand. Her mule balked, refusing to advance. The implications of being alone in the Wastelands at night began to sink in. This was Zelinx territory. Never mind the pronouncement she had some mysterious mental link to the monsters. She wasn't Wyatt and she knew she could never control them. The thought was ridiculous. So much so, she would have punched the next person who said it, assuming she would ever see a living person again.

An anguished howl rose in the distant blackness as some unfortunate creature became sustenance for another creature, one who was bigger, stronger, and hungrier. She could imagine teeth and claws ripping and tearing through the prey, blood and sinew spattering the barren landscape. The cries of agony and terror diminished until silence again ruled the night. Yet closing her eyes she could envision the gory scene. Her head spun with the vivid reality of life and death.

A snout plunging into the hot gouts of blood and fangs sinking into quivering flesh, tearing free a chunk and gulping it down, reveling in the glory of the kill. There was the coppery taste of raw meat and crack of bones between strong jaws, all the while bearing an unmistakable sense of invincibility. I am the Master of all I survey. All fear me.

I have fed and I no longer desire food. My wings fill with air as I rise from the earth.

It is the hunt I desire.

I soar above the earth cloaked in darkness to search for another. The hunt excites me and I revel in the look of terror in the eye of the prey, in the knowledge its life is mine to take at my whim. Just as it was so with that creature of men lying torn apart on the ground below, the one with the wooden contraption attached to its back. It bore the scent of blood, the blood of man. It was that scent that had drawn me to it in anticipation of man-prey.

Man is, after all, the best of prey.

But he was not there so instead I took his beast and fed, hoping the man-prey would show himself.

Rison shook her head, confused at the visions flowing through her mind. She steadied herself against the mule, reeling from the onslaught of violence and bloodlust that seemed so very tangible. The confusion gave way to a seed of fear that took root, growing in intensity and wrapping her in tendrils of panic and helplessness, stealing her ability to breathe. Where did those thoughts come from? What is happening to me?

Sensing her unease, the mule stammered and snorted, straining at the rope around its neck. Rison kept her grip, some still coherent part of her mind realizing the danger of the mule bolting and stranding her without water and supplies. Moments passed and she breathed. She calmed, convincing herself the vision was nothing more than a product of fatigue and stress. Yes, that had to be the cause. Fatigue and stress can easily drive a person crazy, she knew that. Especially deep in the Wastelands where the barren and hostile landscape threatened to suck the sanity from even the strongest.

Why then, do I have the taste of blood? Without realizing it, her mouth watered at the memory.

The thought was still troubling her when another scuffling, scraping noise sounded. This time, it was much closer. Very close. The stench of blood filled the air and fear gripped her. The mule ripped the cord from her grip and fled, leaving her utterly alone to face whatever creature lurked ahead in the blackness.

She backed away, trying to peer through the night in the direction of the noise, hoping and praying it was only her imagination at play. Surely it couldn't be a zelinx. She would have heard its wings beating in the night air; she would have smelled the overpowering reek of musk. It couldn't be!

She continued to back away but now there was movement. She could sense it. She could hear it. A dark form separated from the shadows to her right. No! How? Where? It moved toward her in silence. She turned to flee in panic, stumbling forward over unseen obstacles.

She plunged face-first to the ground and her head struck something hard and unyielding. Bright lights exploded behind her eyes and the taste of blood again filled her mouth. There was no immediate pain and only the fear remained. Get up! Run! Yet her legs refused to cooperate. She yelled for help but realized little was occurring other than a muffled sob.

Soon, she would feel the claws and teeth of the beast. Soon, it would be over.

And she would have failed Caddo.

Her eyes flickered, catching a glimpse of the shadow looming over her and blocking the stars far above. It drew close and she felt her body in its clutches, lifted from the ground. Death opened its arms, longing to embrace her.

A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. First I betrayed him and now I have failed him. I have failed them both.

Her eyes closed, awaiting the inevitable.

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Once again, I apologize for the long delay. Life has gotten "interesting" of late.

Poor Rison! She is paying the price for her betrayal and doubt... and just as she was making some interesting discoveries about herself. Of course, would she have ever made those discoveries without being so low?

Anyway, please vote if this chapter was enjoyable. I know at least one person who would be happy!