The rain was relentless as you listened to it pour down upon the dark shingles of the sturdy roof above you, trailing down the pale white siding of the small house like you had left a faucet running. Branches of the large oak tree that shadowed over the front lawn, tapped against your bedroom window. Waving back and forth as the strengthening wind in the depth of the night grew, watching the shadows of the leaves trembling as they did all they could to cling to their rightful branch. There was yet to be any sign of lightening to shock your dark bedroom to life, or thunder to break through the almost melodic sound of the constant and calm rainfall. But there was something in the darkness outside your window, that told you something was lingering in the air. That something, despite the clock ticking past midnight, was on its way. The sky was pitch black, as the night had forgotten to sprinkle in the stars or leave the moon out for a sliver of light. And although the rain fell with an intensity against the house, there was something eerily silent about the night. For the world felt still, as though the calm before the storm. 

But a soft knocking coming from the first floor drew you from your wandering thoughts, as you blinked your eyes that had been staring lost at the shadowed ceiling, you sat up slowly. It was a different tapping than that of the tree branches at your bedroom window. This knocking almost sounded stressed, an urgency as it rapped against your front door. The sensation loud enough to float up the set of stairs and find you wrapped yet unsettled in a set of pale blue sheets. Pulling the soft cotton fabric off of you, your legs slide over the edge until the pads of your bare feet touch the cool surface of the light wood flooring. And although darkness engulfed the bedroom as if you were standing out in the midst of the night outside, you reached for the sweatshirt that laid on the edge of the chair in the corner, without any doubt of where to find it. As though you had put the article of clothing there yourself, when in reality, you hadn't touched it since it's rightful owner had left it there. 

The soft cotton sweatshirt slid over your head, and glided down the silk material of your thin pajamas with ease. And instantly, you were overwhelmed with not only the warmth the inside lining provided, but the scent that clung to every stitch of thread. As though the rich and spicy aroma of faint cologne and aftershave, was somehow woven within the makings of the navy blue fabric. It swallowed you up in size, nearly falling past the bottom of your pajama shorts, leaving you swimming in warmth and comfort as it instantly felt like being wrapped in the arms of the one it belonged to. And there was something about adorning the sweatshirt, as you made your way down the stairs, that eased the anxiousness that the night had brought up to the surface inside of you. 

When your bare feet finally met the fuzzy front door mat, as the knocking continued the closer you ventured towards the door, you had to pull the sleeves up just to allow for your fingers to find the brass doorknob. Twisting it, after flicking on the single lightbulb that glowed over the front porch, you opened the door. And the only light seen for miles on the dark street in the middle of the night, shone down upon a sight that made your heart nearly beat right out of your chest. 

His arms were crossed over his chest, as his left shoulder leaned with ease against the side of the house. And although it was something you had seen many times before from his always easy and relaxed nature, there was something about his stance tonight that told you he was exhausted. It was etched across his face in the lines that creased in the furrow of his brow and began to sag in the deep bags below his brown eyes. It was evident in the way his body rested against the siding. And although his muscles were on clear display, nearly splitting the tight sleeves of his grey t-shirt down the seams, and his strength and natural self confidence radiated off of him as it always would, it wasn't enough to hide the exhaustion his body was feeling from your watchful eyes. 

His pants were caked in mud at the ankles, before they disappeared into the equally as dirty boots that his loosely crossed feet wore. His shirt showed signs of sweat, faint almost imperceptible lines around the collar as though it had just finished drying. And although the roof extended over the porch that he waited on, the rain had poured mercilessly down upon him on his way up to the door, and the dark splotches still covered the light grey fabric. But it was the bruises that were in the beginning stages of forming on his forearms, and on the edges of his knuckles that caught your worrisome gaze. They were light, but you could see the deep purple shade beginning to bleed through, as though a drop of water landing on a spot of ink. Spreading the blackish-blue shade out against his flesh like a watercolor. 

"You gonna let me in mama, or are you gonna have me stand out here in the rain all night?"

When his words hit the air, your eyes immediately snapped up to meet his watchful gaze. His tone was calm, a splash of playfulness trailing behind the ease and exhaustion that he couldn't hide in his voice. His words were nothing less than the lighthearted banter you expected from him, and yet the small tug at the edge of his perfectly sculpted lips, didn't make your own rise into a blushing smile like they usually did. And you could tell the moment he realized that. For the ghost of his smirk was just that, disappearing just as fast as it had appeared. And his eyes softened, the brown melting into a lighter shade, one that made your body feel warm underneath it's mesmerizing stare. Now instead of seeing that sparkle in his eyes, the one that he always seemed to have whenever he saw you for the first time after coming home from a case, there was a softer expression. One of compassion and concern that flooded his deep irises with worry, and unable to stand the sight of his now serious and concerned demeaner against the dark backdrop of the midnight sky, you stepped to the side to let Derek Morgan in. 

You watched, holding the door open, as he took a few quick seconds to wipe his muddy boots against the outside door mat. Something that unexpectingly warmed your heart, for the fact that he remembered your many requests for his dirty work boots to stay off your clean floors. It was a small gesture, one you were sure went unbeknownst to him, and yet it told you so much about him.

You closed the front door, cutting off the cool damp breeze that had begun to blow against your clothed arm, and listened as it clasped softly in the silence that penetrated the front room. The moment it closed, it felt like all of the air in the small room had made it out. For your chest hurt to take a deep breath, as though you were in the furthest depths of the ocean and the pressure threatened to crush your lungs like an aluminum can. Until Derek's voice floated over to you, in the overwhelming silence that seemed to echo inside of your ears, and with the sound of his voice your lungs expanded into a deep steady breath. 

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours over there, or am I gonna have to guess?"

Your back was still facing him, as your hand had yet to fall from it's tight grip on the doorknob, and it felt like you had an edge of protection against his inquiring words. For he couldn't see the way your eyes squeezed shut at the sound of his voice, that instantly filled your heart with warmth and comfort and yet made it ache at the same time. He couldn't see the way your lips began to tremble from the words on the tip of your tongue that were clawing to be freed. But most of all, Derek couldn't see the tears that fell for him and rolled down your cheeks. 

"You didn't call me," Your voice felt shaky, and you were sure that he could hear it. "you didn't even try."

You could feel the tears building in the back of your throat, and behind you the sound of a soft exhale filled the space. "I know what it's like, when you're on a case, that you have to be completely there and committed and not calling home to check in." 

His job and the lifestyle that you had to develop to be apart of his unconventional life, was nothing new to you. It was rare for him to call you when he was out of town, focused on the case he was working, only on the unlikely occasions that he actually got a hotel room to get some rest in for the night, did he call home. And as hard as it was, you had grown used to the phone, that you kept in the bed on the empty side next to you, to stay silent for the few days he was away working. But there were instances, when you needed a call. There were times when you didn't care if he was following protocol or neck deep in case files. There were times, like yesterday night, when you needed to see his name flash across that screen. When you needed to hear his voice, to know that he was okay. You needed it to breathe, for your peace of mind, and for your heart.

You spun on your bare heels suddenly, feeling the now cold air swirl around your bare legs. And despite the fact that Derek had seen you in much less clothing than the ones you wore now, you felt exposed under his eyes that could see you now. But it wasn't the thin and --a little too short-- pajama shorts that you wore with his heavy sweatshirt, that his eyes scanned over. But rather they focused instantly on your face, his gaze running over the tears that trailed hot blotchy red paths down your pale skin. And you watched as his body sagged slightly, another low exhale passing through his lips, as his eyes found your own that drowned in your own pained tears. 

"But when Garcia's the one that has to call me, to tell me that you've decided to drive an ambulance with a bomb on it, on your own, away from the city..."

Your vision felt blurred by the emotion that clouded your eyes, but you could see him begin to take a step towards you. Only stopping when you held your hand out for him to. Craving to be in his arms more than anything in the world, and yet your heart hurt too much to be in that close of proximity to him.

"I saw what you did Derek," Your voice shook as your eyes rose to look into his own. "it was all over the news. You were heroic, and braver than anyone I've ever met, but I was standing here in front of that screen in tears. In complete terror. Because I didn't know if you were going to be alright."

Closing your eyes, you're right back in that moment. The one where your eyes are wide with shock and tears, as you watched the breaking news playing on the television, your phone trembling in your hand as it was still open after your short conversation with Garcia. You were numb as you stood there, unable to move, to speak, to do anything but watch the broadcast with terror coursing through your veins at the thought of him in that armed vehicle. Alone.

"It wasn't planned," Hearing his voice enter the void, your eyes flutter open. And instantly lock eyes, as Derek had yet to take his compassionate gaze off of your splotchy face. "it wasn't something that I wanted to have to do. But I had to."

You didn't stop him now, as you watched him take a step hesitantly towards you, as though he was waiting for you to stop him again. But you let him, finding solace in the feeling of his presence growing closer to you. Your eyes had shut again as the weight of your tears were too much, but you could feel the warmth of his body as he got closer. It radiated off of him as though rays of sunshine, just enough to warm through the fabric of his sweatshirt that you wore, and ease the chills that had been shooting up and down your spine. 

"And I promise you," Derek was so close to you now, that the air you breathed was shared. For you could smell the spearmint of his chewing gum, as it wafted warmly against your cheek. And ever so gently, you felt his fingertips climb up the base of your neck, until his palm pressed flat against the side of your face. And with the pad of his thumb, he guided it tenderly through the path of tears and wiped away the streaks of salt that were staining your flesh. "that if I had had more time, I would've called you."

Your eyes opened slowly at his comforting words, and looking up through your tear stained lashes, your lips parted. "I know it's not fair of me, to put pressure on you with my feelings, when you're trying to do your job, but Derek..."

You didn't even have to say the words, for his arms were around you before you could even say them. As though he could see them in the drowning waves of your eyes far before they were even on the tip of your tongue. His arms were tight around you, confining you in his crushing embrace, but you didn't care that you could barely breathe. For your peace of mind released a deep breath, and the depths of your heart could suddenly breathe again with his loving arms around you. "I was so scared." 

Your sobs replaced the splotches of rain that had since dried on his shirt, but he didn't move as he felt the salty tears soak though the thin material onto his skin. You were overheating and shaking from the cries coming from your lips, but with his embrace you felt steady on your feet and breathing in his scent, your anxiety finally calmed. 

"The thought of you..." His hand pressed firmly against the back of your head, tangling his fingers into the strands of your slightly disheveled locks and bringing you closer against his chest. Close enough that the strong beating of his heart was all that you could hear echoing in your left ear, and it was like a balm to your strained heart. 

"Shh," Derek breathed out in a deep sigh, feeling as it settled over the top of your head and his lips moved to press tenderly against your temple. "I was scared too."

"But baby," He pressed another chaste and comforting kiss against your skin. "you gotta know I'm always gonna do whatever I can to make it home to you."

And you believed him. For not only could you hear the overflowing sincerity in his voice, as he whispered the honest words with every fiber of love in his heart, but you could hear it in the powerful muscle that beat with purpose beneath your left ear. As though each thump was there to beat the truth into your own heart, that would still forever worry about Derek whenever he left town for a case, but you could feel as his words washed over your heart, and the suffocating burning sensation cooled. You would always be scared. Sending someone you love out into a world that did all it could to tear people like him down, never got easier. Watching him walk through that door day after day, leaving with a piece of your heart every single time. For all you could do was trust that he would be alright. He held your heart, the part of it that had always belonged to Derek Morgan, and he took it with him wherever he went. When he found danger, you could feel it. When he was hurt, you felt it. For your heart didn't solely belong to you anymore, and it frightened you to think of what would happen if his ever stopped beating.

"I love you." You whispered against his cotton clad chest, feeling the outline of his strong muscles beneath your cheek and the faint dampness of you drying tears. 

"Baby girl," You could hear the smile in his voice far before your eyes lifted to see it, and there was a comfort in the playful smile that Derek always wore extended across his lips. Whether or not you saw it with your eyes, there was a warmth that washed over your body and fluttered in the pit of your stomach like butterflies, whenever he wore that signature bright smile. "you've got no idea how much I love you too."

A/N: Wow! This one turned out so much longer than I ever imagined it would, but I am so happy with how it turned out! I really dove into the descriptions and little details of the scene in this one, and wanted to create a pull of both angsty and intimate feelings in this one. And I think I did just that! I hope you all enjoyed it!❤