KYUNG MI'S POV.

Being a woman is not easy, especially for those who have so many problems going on within themselves breaking them down internally ever so slowly...ripping them into millions of pieces and shreding them mercilessly.

Being judged, not even caring about the pains, struggles, mocking comments, easily being walked upon, making emotionally weak, taking advantage and using them.

The list goes on...

I'm so tired of everything. I want to be a mother and hold my child, feel motherhood and cherish it forever. But, I'm not gifted with that. Seeing Jimin in pain breaks me so hard and painful. I'm sterile, he's not and still he blames himself for it too.

Will I be able to hold my child in my arms, play with those small hands and legs, tickle it, to snuggle my nose with it and to treasure my precious motherhood ?

why should people judge and make fun of woman who are not capable of being mothers and not having kids. I thought my mother-in-law will support me and will give me the strength to endure my pains and take away my worries. She’s a wretch. She might be acting all sweet and caring outside she’ll sugarcoat things. Her heart and mind are filled with poison and evil thoughts.

I don’t trust her from the very beginning. I was hoping for her to change and accept me as I am. Sadly, things didn’t turn out well.

I was so drowned in my thoughts that I didn’t notice my mother-in-law standing right behind me give me a death stare her eyes dark as charcoal.

"What are you thinking about darling?"

"It’s nothing mother, I was just thinking about something".

"Thinking about how not to get pregnant and how to hurt my son to the core and break him down into pieces?"

"I never dare to hurt him, never in my life. I love him with all my heart mother."

"I don’t know what he saw in you. I don’t know why he loves you so much that he is not telling me what’s going on with you guys".

"Mother it’s our personal matter. You need not know everything that’s happening between us".

"Just as Jimin said to me some moments ago."

"It’s not only Jimin mother, everyone would say this. After marriage you should not expect your son or daughter to tell everything that’s happening between them. It’s their and our personal life."

"That’s true darling I should not barge in and that’s not right but I cannot control or restrain myself from asking you guys. Especially when you guys are not having kids and family."

I put my head down not being able to see her, pain filling my eyes. She slowly lifted my chin with her sharp nails. Sinister smile forming on her lips. This sight of her made to kill myself.

"Everything that’s happening now is because of you darling." With that she slapped me so hard, my left cheek stinging with pain. I fell on the ground with a loud thud. Holding my cheek. She pulled me up harshly making me to stumble.
She roughly grabbed my chin, digging her nails so deeply, leaving marks blood dripping out of it.

"Darling, get pregnant and start a family. GOT IT??"

"No mother I can’t". Another slap landed on the same side, making it even more stingy.

"You will. I don’t want my family and son to be without any future generations."

"That’s impossible mother. I’m not capable of it and you know that!"

"I do know that darling. But how could I let you go just like that? try many times and get pregnant."

"Mother you are asking the impossible. I LOST MY GIFT OF MOTHERHOOD AND I’LL NEVER EVER BE A MOTHER!!!"

"Have you ever thought about Jimin? Can’t you see how broken he is? I want to see him having a family of his own and to see him taking care of his kids, do all the necessary things for them and raise them up well. Am I asking anything more darling?"

I can’t hold my emotions, I always wanted to see Jimin being a father and doing his best for our children.  And then everything faded away as a dream that’ll never happen. Mother pushed me down on the floor beating me up like a mad woman. I was choking up blood.

"You are full of disease. You have thyroid, PCOS, wheezing, migraine, irregular periods. And what else you have? You are nothing but a woman who have so many problems within yourself and WHY THE HELL WOMAN LIKE YOU GET MARRIED AND SPOIL BOTH LIVES OF YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY?
I’m ashamed to call that you are my daughter-in-law. Try getting pregnant…If not you’ll regret it."

I was crumbled on the floor like a crushed paper. Tears flowing down my face not being able stand up. She bent down to my level, smirking devilishly looking at my condition.

"Darling clean up yourself and apply some makeup, I don’t want Jimin to see what I did to you. If you show him your bruises, scars or cry in pain in front of him and make a scene saying I did this to you."

She choked my neck tighter leaving more red bruises. And continued saying…

"Or else next time the punishment will be even more bloody than this so be careful darling."

With that she left the room as if nothing happened. Why I was even born in this cruel world?
I slowly rose up from the floor and stood in front of mirror observing my pathetic condition.

There were bruises on my neck, chin blood dripping from it, my stomach, purple marks on my elbows. I started to apply makeup…

How can I cover these bruises? There are so many scars and marks…pain stinging, I slowly applied makeup covering everything I can.
I wish I could die and leave this world. Such a cruel life.