I don't love you.

Not in a romantic sense.

"What would you do if I ever left you?" You once inquired.

I answered that I'd weep.

But I won't.

I would laugh.

I would laugh, and smile, and dance, and twirl, and sing, as if it were my wedding day.

Oh, how I long to tell you that.

To tell you that I don't feel for you the way you feel for me.

But I fear I'll shatter you.

I fear I'll wound you more, when you've already been so hurt and fragmented in the past.

I fear you would despise me.

I fear I'll lose you as a confidant.

I fear our trio would crumble, and I'll lose my dearest friend too.

At what cost?

Would it be worth it?

If I ask my heart, it unquestionably says yes.

But if I ask my mind, it unequivocally says no.

Because I don't love you.

I care for you.

Deeply.

I care for your delicate heart, that is made of gold.

I don't want it shattered.

I care for that smile, that can effortlessly illuminate my day.

I don't want it turned into a frown.

I care for those eyes of yours that resemble stars.

I don't want them to become rivers.

I love you.

But I don't love you.

So for now, I'll pretend.

I'll pretend, to make you happy.

I'll pretend, to make you smile the way you deserve to smile.

Even though I hurt myself in the act,

My mind and heart would still agree that it's worth that beautiful smile.

But deep down, my mind and heart would still belong to that one girl.

That one girl I once told you about.

Because I don't love you.

I love her.

~Yusra