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"w-what did you s-say doctor?"

These words came out of my mouth anxiously as I looked at Dr. Hoseok who was smiling gracefully at me, his small crescent dimples full on display.

"Like what you heard, Miss Kim."

Oh my lord..

He's so kind..

"Really? I mean...you don't have to.. I- it would be awkward for me-"

"Awkward?" He laughed, playfully hitting me on my head. "You really think so? I'm here to help you Miss Kim.."

"Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"You c-can call me Hana... it's more comfortable to pronounce."

I looked at him with a slight pout as he chuckled, pushing his dusky dry locks back as he glared back into my hopeless eyes.

"Okay, Hana.."

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*Jungkook's POV*

Damn...

Why can't I sleep?

Flipping my pillow around, I buried my face in the colder side, sighing in frustration.

It's been so long since I've had a peaceful slumber.

What has happened to me?

I got up, checking the time on my wall clock.

2:35.

Aish...

I guess I'll have to ask someone about this.

But who?

Hobi hyung?

Yup.

I picked up my phone but then realisation hit me.

"I don't have his number."

Why does he never give me his number?

I sighed again as I tossed my phone on the ground, feeling frustrated all of a sudden.

It is such a talent to smile in front of the world, when you're feeling crushed inside....

"But Hobi hyung is great. From the day I've met him, he's the kindest person I've come across in my entire life." I mumbled under my breath. My usual habit to talk to myself.

"He gives the best advices. Though I have other friends too, but he...is different."

I kept blinking my eyes, staring at the white ceiling above me.

"That person said they liked Still With You.. I thought it was trash." I smiled, a tear escaping my left eye.

"Nah, I want to sing. It was always my passion. But my parents..."

There is no need to say it. They've already decided my future.

I pushed the sheets away as I felt the atmosphere turning hot all of a sudden. Getting up, I took off my shirt and threw it on the ground, where my poor phone was lying too.

Now covering my bare body with the duvet, I tried my best by closing my eyes, singing a lullaby to myself.

People say boys don't cry.

But boys hide a lot more than they can ever imagine. They have feelings too. But society would call them weak if they see a single drop of tear dropping from their eye.

I still remember how I was bullied in middle school.

Trying hard not to recall these thoughts, I kept shaking my head but these were the only things ringing in my mind.

"Such a girl you are, Jeonnie..."

"He's so weak. You would touch him and he'll start crying."

"Jungkook, boys don't cry." My dad said. "Be a man, don't be a coward. Only girls are crybabies."

"Yes Jungkook, boys who cry are weak. But you are my strong son. Hmm?" My mother's sweet voice bellowed.

That was right mom. Now you've made me such a strong man that I forgot how to feel.

Another hot tear rolled down from my eyes, onto my pillow.

Yes, I still cry. But not in front of others.

Because I'm not a coward. Not a crybaby.

I'm a man.

A hopeless man.

An emotionless man.

A lost man...

A/N

Sorry for the delay. I was really sick so I couldn't update. My apologies :(

Here's some of Jungkook's past, so that you can understand both sides of the story.

Don't be a silent reader. Comment down to let me know your thoughts ^^