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*Trigger Warning*

My gaze fell on the small shiny object at my desk, as I breathed heavily while wiping my tears off.

My mind filled with agitation and rage couldn't control me anymore.

That's it.

I don't want to live anymore.

I'm done with myself.

Legs shaking with terror but mind still stuck over my mom's hurtful words, I reached out to my desk, picking up the sharp blade.

"I lie because of our reputation."

"I've been telling everyone that you never get less than 85% marks.."

"Her daughter did better than you."

"Miss toothpick."

"Such a thin chick."

"My daughter is going to study abroad next year."

"Miss Kim, you can't even score passing marks."

"She'll fail this semester too, I'm quite sure.

"You can't do any better, loser."

"Aaaaaaah!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, my mind going insane with all these things continuosly ringing inside my head.

I kept the sharp edge at my wrist, over the previous mark that was still visible to an extent.

And I pushed the blade in.

Sure it did hurt. But I couldn't feel it anymore.

Although, it wasn't hurtful than the agonizing sentences clouding in my head.

Blood oozed out the moment the sharp blade tore through my soft skin, and I cried out hard as the blade fell from my hand to the ground, along with the thick red liquid dripping from my wrist.

Loud bangs echoed on my door as I tried to calm myself down, but I couldn't avert my gaze from the dark liquid continually flowing from my wrist, like a river.

"Hana! Open the door!"

"Hana! Open the door dear! What are you doing?"

My parents were yelling at my door, but I couldn't breathe now.

I looked down where there was a pool of my overflowing blood, and I dropped to the ground, breathing heavily while clutching my head.

Yes, it would be better if I die.

Everyone would be happy.

I smiled unconsciously as I kept fluttering my eyes, waiting for the moment my heart would stop beating.

But in mean time, the door to my room burst open with a thud, with my parents quickly rushing inside.

"Hana! Oh my god..." These were the last words I remembered erupting from my mom's mouth, as I drifted my eyes shut, the pain becoming unbearable.
  

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"Hana.."

"Oh my god.."

"How could she do this?"

Ouch.

Wait... how am I still alive?

I wanted to die...

Slowly lifting my lids with a throbbing pain in my head and chest, I was attacked with the bright light of the room as I hissed in pain.

"Hana? Let me call the doctor!" It was my father's voice.

Doctor...

A blurry image of Dr. Hoseok formed in my head as I breathed heavily, recalling the events.

Oh no.

I'm in the hospital.

I turned my head around to look at my mother, who was massaging my head with one hand, her other hand lightly holding my arm which was covered in bandage.

She had tears in her eyes.

"m-mom..."

"Hana...my daughter.." she whispered, pushing my dry hair out of my face as she placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

Oh.

She's hurt this time.

I hurt her. I'm such a terrible daughter.

"I... I'm so sorry mom, I-"

"Don't say anything. I know. I'm so sorry Hana." She whispered, continuosly rubbing her hand on my temples.

The doctor visited me as I shut my eyes closed, the tears that were brimming inside my eyes now flowing across my cheeks as my dad wiped them away.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine." He sat beside my legs as he softly started rubbing my feet with his hands.

I nodded, the overwhelming feeling now taking over me as I realised I shouldn't have done this.

My parents are worried, because of me.

But, I wonder...

Who is really responsible for this?

Of course, it's me. It's always me. I'm so stupid and dumb.

"It's good that we were actually able to control the flow of the blood. You brought her here in time, Mr. Kim." The doctor explained as he checked my nerves.

"Thanks to you doctor. I'm glad my daughter is safe now." He replied as he smiled at me.

Wow.

I saw him smiling after so long.

Those happy days... I miss them.

Gulping down heavily, I turned to my mom, "I need some water."

"Here." She quickly filled water in a plastic cup, helping me to drink as she placed it near my chin and I slowly gulped the cold liquid down.

"Don't do this ever again, Hana, we were so scared." My dad said as he covered my body in the quilt, placing a tiny kiss on my cheek.

"I'm sorry...dad."

I looked at both my parents, their lips tugged into a smile but lines of worries still visible on both of their foreheads.

I feel so bad now...