***Nathaniel Derrington***

I'm not gonna lie. Having a boner in chain mail really hurts.

Since I'm kneeling before King Stephen and half the kingdom he rules, I do my best to school my expression into a solemn mask, keeping my eyes humbly downcast as he walks forward, the blood red ceremonial cloak in his hands glinting in the sun.

He stops about two paces from me. I keep still as a statue as he announces the initiation declarations. The crowd stirs lightly, but quiets, eager to listen.

"Nathaniel Derrington," he begins, his velvety tone rolling over my shoulders and into the audience, "in your youth you have displayed unrelenting courage in the face of countless trials even the greatest of men would have balked from, time and time again. The kingdom does not forget such chivalry. We all feel the most profound level of gratitude. You may not have been searching for glory, though great men seldom do."

A pause.

I swallow, fighting to keep a level head. This is just an initiation ceremony. Just an exchange of words is all.

"It has been decided by the high council that you should be presented with the promotion to one of the royal guard, to protect and serve the realm standing by my side. Will you do yourself and your kingdom the honor of accepting this proposal?"

Do not fuck up. You do not have permission to fuck up.

"Nothing would bring me greater joy, Your Grace," I reply, eyes lowered.

I feel a soft breeze as a blood red ceremonial cloak is slipped around my shoulders. His hand accidentally brushes against my cheek and I have to bite my tongue.

"Then rise," King Stephen commands, his voice booming. "You have knelt as a knight, now stand as a protector of the realm."

I stand.

The crowd's cheer is deafening. I blink stupidly at the tidal crash of applause that rolls over me, wave after wave, never ending. And I can't help but think how good it sounds. How good it feels - it's addicting.

Then King Stephen nods and smiles at me, the kind that makes little crinkles around his gorgeous blue eyes, and even though my crotch hurts like hell I figure that today is a really good day to be alive.