Preview: Kaminari is doing well with his boyfriends help. But it isn't that easy because if there wasn't a conflict it wouldn't be a good book.

Warning: Self harm, Anxiety

Ship: ShinKamiBaku

For the first month I went to either Shinso's room or Bakugou's room every night. It got to the point that Bakugou and Shinso started sleeping in the same room so they both wouldn't have to worry if I went to the other one or didn't go at all and instead cut.

By now I have gone three months without cutting! Shinso and Bakugou sleep in their normal beds unless they just want to sleep with each other or me or all of us together. I'm starting to feel less and less dependent on a knife which is amazing! I'm just happy I have my two boyfriends to help me through stuff like this.

(queue something bad happening cause I'm the author)

~~~~~

I-I didn't mean to.

I didn't come down here to d..do that. I came down here for w-water.

W..Why did I do it?

Why c-couldn't I resist?

My b..boyfriends will be u-upset.

They will be m..mad.

I sit on the kitchen floor rocking back and forth while holding my left wrist. It has ten fresh cuts. My boyfriends are going to be so mad at me. They said to come to them. I tried. Who do I go to now? They might be even more mad at me if I go to the wrong one first. Shinso would want me to come to him but so would Bakugou.

I try to even out some of my crying as I stand with shaky legs. A wave of dizziness hits me hard, like it use to when I first started doing this. But even then it was only around three cuts each day. I grab the counter and stand there with blood dripping from my wrist for a few minutes till I feel like I can walk again.

I carefully make my way upstairs with each step making a sound that makes me fear that I'll wake someone up. In the end I find myself in front of Bakugou's door because he was the one who first saw me cut. I stand there for a second before raising a closed fist to the door.

Knock knock knock.

I hear a groggy "I'm coming" and my heart beats faster in my chest. I contemplate running away but force myself to stand still with my hands nervously fidgeting with each other. The door opens with a small click.

"Huh, Kaminari? What are you doing here so late? We're you thinking about-" A small gasp escapes his lips once he saw the blood dripping down from my wrists. He grabbed just bellow where my lowest cut was and stared at it.

A sob passes through my lips. He's mad at me. What if he's so mad he won't help me? What if he tells me to cut like the guys at school? What if he breaks up with me because I have too many problems?

"Fuck. We need to put something on it before your bleed out or some shit." Bakugou said while pulling me into the room. He led me to the bed and then pulled a first aid kit put from under his bed that he got once he first realized I had cut.

"D-Don't be mad!" I begged him. It was quite obvious at this point I had a fear of making people upset and mad at me.

Bakugou just pulled out the supplies to wrap and disinfect my arm seeming to be in his own head space. After he wrapped my arm with an Ace-bandage and checked my other arm he stood up and walked out of the room.

I the door shut and hugged one of his pillows as I sobbed. I knew this would happen. He left. He doesn't love me anymore. He left me.

It felt like hours before the door reopened and Shinso and Bakugou both came rushing to my side. I curled up in a tight ball not wanting either of them to see me like this.

"Did you tell him you were leaving to get me or did you just leave the room?" Shinso asks fearfully.

Bakugou glances at me before letting out a curse. "I was so caught up thinking about what to do to help him I don't think I said anything. Shit. I'm sorry Kaminari. I didn't mean to hurt-"

Before he could finish his sentence I climbed into his lap and hugged him. He started to rock me back and forth as I cried.

I let out a loud sob before speaking. "I-I didn't mean to! I w..went for water and t-then, th..hen," another loud sob leaves my lips.

Shinso leaned over and wrapped me in a hug too. "It's okay. We understand. You are doing so good at not cutting and I'm shocked you didn't relapse sooner."

"Yeah, we are so proud of how far you have come. So proud." Bakugou adds and I feel my self start to calm down.

"R-Really?"

Bakugou nods his head and Shinso hugs me tighter. "Of course. You are amazing."

I cry a bit more but this time because I feel loved. They understand that I'm working on it, really trying, to stop. They understand that it's difficult. They understand.

Bakugou shifts so we can lay down and Shinso pulls the covers over all of us. I shift so I'm resting me head on Shinso's chest and Bakugou is hugging my waist as Shinso wraps his arms around both of us.

"I love you Kaminari. I love you Bakugou." Shinso says not even sounding tired.

"I love you too Eyebags. And I love you Pikachu." Bakugou replies.

I smile bright. "I love you both so much. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight Kaminari."

I felt like doing one more chapter of this. It just felt right to show that he relapsed and plus I wanted angsty fluff.

Till Next Time
Meowz~