Suggested By: @RatNoodles

Preview: It gets hard but as long as you have friends to look out for you it will get better.

Warning: Depression, Suicidal thoughts

Ship: ShinKami

I shift awkwardly in my seat while still looking down at the test that was placed in front of me. It's a test about me. Like how I'm doing mentally, how my quirk effects me, a favorite memory, and stuff like that. But never less it is still a test. And tests give me anxiety.

I think I'm going to throw up.

I force myself to pick up my pencil and write my name at the top. Time to start the test.

Mental Health Test

Name: Denki Kaminari                      Date: 10/23/XXXX

1: What is your favorite memory? Why?

I loved going out to the arcade with the squad because that was just a lot of fun.

2: What are the effects of overusing your quirk? (Ex: Headaches)

I start to zap myself accidentally as like, my last self-defense but I sometimes end up getting burns from it. It also happens when I'm really upset. It's not that big of a deal though.

3: What is a fear of yours?

Getting left behind. That's deep lol.

4: Do you deal with loss of appetite?

I guess.

5: Do you have trouble falling asleep?

Yeah but that's because of my quirk. I gives me extra time to study though and we all know I need that!

6: Do you ever feel unwanted?

Yeah but it is true sometimes. Not that big of a deal lol.

7: Have you ever experienced a panic attack or anxiety attack?

Yes, and holy cow they are the worst! I deal with them a lottt.

8: Have you ever self-harmed? If so, what did you do?

Nah.

9: How often do you get suicidal thoughts?

Uh, at least once a week. But that's normal right?

10: Do you think it is the smartest for you to go see a doctor for a more in-depth test for your mental health?

I don't know, you tell me!

I let out a breath once I give Mr. Aizawa the test. I am so glad that is over with.

~~~~~

"Kaminari, please come see me." I frown and turn to tell my friends that I was going to be late for lunch only to find them already gone. Great.

I wake up to his desk and smile. "Yes sensei?"

He gestured to the seat in front of his desk so I sat down. I couldn't help the anxiety that started to pool at the bottom of my stomach. Please don't say this is about my grades. "I would like to talk to you about the mental heath test you took today."

Huh?

"Yeah I know, I should have written my answers more professionally and-"

"No, that's not what I want to talk about." He said interrupting me. "I would like to talk about your answers."

I slumped in my chair. "I know. There wasn't really a point of me answer the questions, I waisted paper."

"Stop talking." He said and I closed my lips. "I think you need to go to a doctor to take a more in depth test."

My eyes widen. "What?!"

He frowns. "Your answers are concerning and the fact that you see nothing is wrong is worse."

Dadzawa surfaces.

"I'm sorry." I say while looking down at my lap.

He places a hand on my shoulder and I look up at him. "You don't need to apologize. And keep me updated on you until you can get the mental health test. Okay?"

I nod my head. "Okay."

~~~~~

I find myself on the roof again only this time with a plan. A really bad plan that I never thought I would make. Everything felt better for a second with Mr. Aizawa looking after me and finally getting the help I need. The doctor gave quirk represents and some depression medicine and I started to feel better.

But then the squad found the pills the doctor gave me. Bakugou made fun of me saying that only children need quirk represents. And then Sero said that I didn't need depression pills and should just be happy. That it made no sense for me not to be happy. So I stoped taking them. And now I'm here.

I take a step towards the edge of the roof and prepare for the fall. Fear hammers in my chest as I step closer and closer and suddenly I hear the door open. I freeze.

"Kaminari? What are you doing?" That voice belongs to Kirishima. What is he doing up here?

"Uh, nothing? What are you doing up here?" I ask without turning. I didn't want him to see my face that is currently wet with tears.

"I saw you on the roof from the 1C dorms and I came over with your friends." Shinsou said and I looked over at the dorms that I can see next to us. Sure enough I could see the balconies from here.

I heard some foot steps coming closer to me. "What are you really doing up here?" He whispered into my ear.

"N-Nothing!" I shout while spinning around to face them. Big mistake.

My body was now in someone else's control. I could feel the cold air against my skin but at the same time couldn't. My brain felt empty and like all my thoughts were being recorded and stolen from someone else even though I knew that's not how Shinsou's quirk works.

"What are you really doing up here?"
"What are you really doing up here?"

"I was planing to jump." My words come out emotionless. Like I didn't just say what I did.

I hear my friends gasp. Mina grabbing on to Kirishima's arm, Kirishima widening his eyes, Bakugou becoming pale and more still then I have ever seen, and Sero looking guilty. I could see it all.

The control was dropped and I whipped my head around to see Shinsou looking shocked. He must of accidentally dropped control. I spin on my heals and move to run to the edge but feel someone grab my arm.

"NO! LET GO!" I shout as tears poor down my eyes. The person moves to hug me and I continue to struggle. More arms wrapped around me and I broke down. I start sobbing and grip as tight as I can to my friends.

"I'm in so much pain! I just want it to stop!" I scream and feel the arms tightens

Mina brushes away a few of my tears. "We will help you."

"I'm so sorry for telling you to just be happy. I'll make sure to make it so you can eventually stop taking the pills and be health." Sero says while grabbing my arm.

Kirishima moves away from the hug so we can look at each other in the eyes. "You'll get better."

"And I'll fucking destroy all of the bad thoughts in your head!" Bakugou shouts as a few explosions leave his palms. I giggle at him along with my friends.

"I'll be here. I promise I'll make the pain end." Shinsou whispers in my ear as the the other jokingly argue with Bakugou and say that's not how it works.

"I don't fucking CARE! THOSES THOUGHTS CAN DIE!!!" He screeches before casing our friends around the roof.

"Thank you."

So many time skips. I hate this one ): sorry.