Preview: Denki Kaminari, after two years of serving, is finally released back home. But will he be able to release the stress and fear that he became accustomed to?

Warning: PTSD, a harsh and not thought out comment from Sero

Ship: ShinKami

"NO!" I shout as I sit up. I pant, barely paying the feeling of sweat and tears on my face any mind. I feel arms around me but it takes me a second to realize who they belong to and where I am. More importantly, where I am not.

I grip tightly to Hitoshi and let out wails. I hug him like my life depended on it and he just rubbed my back comfortingly while muttering encouraging words. After a while I'm able to calm myself down enough to let Hitoshi pull away from our hug. He looks at me with concern as I wipe the tears and sweat off my face.

"Denki... what happened? I never seen you have a nightmare that bad a-and," he starts getting choked up and I grab his hand.

I start rubbing my thumb across the back of his hand. I let myself focus on how soft it is even after all these years. "I'm fine, it wasn't that bad."

He shakes his head rapidly. "L..Like hell it wasn't that bad! You were s-shouting and s..sobbing a-and-!"

I pull him into a hug only this time he's the one crying. "I'm so sorry for scarring you. I just got a little scared by a memory that's all."

I rub his back comfortingly and he clings to me. Eventually he calms down and pulls slightly away from the embrace but continues to lean on me. He hesitates before speaking. "Was... was it really that bad?"

My heart hurts and all I want to do is tell him no. To tell him it was like a walk in the park. That I didn't have to kill people. That I didn't have to see people kill my friends. That I'm not forever going to remember what it was like.

"I, I don't want to lie to you. I'm not going to lie to you. It wasn't good." My last sentence comes out really breathy causing him to cling on to my arms tightly. "I don't want to talk about it." My voice cracks. "I just got back, let's focus on that."

With out a word he lays down pulling me down with him. I curl up into his larger frame despite the fact that I'm now jacked. I guess it because I didn't always have food to eat. We both close our eyes and let sleep over take us.

~~~~~

Bang!

I jump up and whip my head around while protectively putting Hitoshi behind my back.

"Sorry bro. I accidentally dropped a pan. My bad." Kirishima says glancing over at us from the kitchen. Even with his encouraging words I stay tense.

Hitoshi rubs my arm trying to calm my down. "It's okay. No one's trying to hurt you." He whispers. I weakly nod my head and let him drag me over to the couch where Sero and Mina are sitting. Bakugou is in the kitchen with Kirishima.

"So," Mina starts looking over at me with a smile, "you're ripped now! Isn't that cool!" She squeezes my arm to feel my bicep and lets out a little squeal.

I let out a chuckle. "I kinda had to. If I wasn't I'd just be a liability."

Mina has a short round of laughter that I join in. God I missed this.

"If you don't mind me asking, how many people did you kill?" Sero asks leaning in intently. My face pales.

"What the fuck! You don't just ask him that you asshole!" Hitoshi yells at him while standing up.

I grab him by his arm and pull him down next to me. "It's fine Hitoshi. He didn't mean anything by it."

"He should fucking know better." He growls.

Sero looks over at me in shame. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know it was a weak spot."

My eye brows furrow. "Think a little more next time. I was just in a war."

He nods his head and look down. We all stay silent for a second before Kirishima interrupts the awkward silence.

"I proudly present your welcome home dinner! That Kat mostly made by the way." He whispers the last part that makes all of us giggle.

We stand up and go over to the table. I sit next to my boyfriend and hold his hand as we eat. Mina makes sure to keep the conversation light and avoids talking about what either I did or they did when I was drafted for two years. I can't believe I lasted that long. Two years fighting for my life without my friends. I lean on to Hitoshi's shoulder and he leans against my head. A couple 'awe's' come from the table causing me to chuckle. I love my friends.

~~~~~

"STOP! NO!!!"

"Kaminari!" I wake with a jolt and immediately hug my boyfriend. He hugs me back and starts to rock me back and forth while I cried. This has been happening for two weeks and I'm starting to get sick of it.

"H-Hitoshi?" My voice comes out hoarse.

He hugs me a little tighter. "I'm right here." I nod my head.

"I t..think I need help."

There's is a beat of silence before he reply's. "Okay. I'll look into it. We will get you help."

Tears slip down my cheeks and I hug him tighter. "I'm just so done of being scared. It been two weeks but I can't stop thinking about it. Looking for my gun to protect me. Looking to see who's a threat."

"Denki is only been two weeks. You were there for two years. It's going to take you awhile to get out out of that mindset okay?" I nod my head before weakly pulling away.

"I love you Hitoshi."

He smiles at me and even in the dark I can see it. "I love you too Denki."

PTSD is a serious thing. Some people only think you can get it from 'big' things like being in war or getting raped but you can get it from being bullied and assaulted too. I know from experience how scary it is so please take care of yourself.

Till Next Time
Meowz~