Phil woke up the next morning with a raging headache and the taste of vomit in the back of his throat. He couldn't remember if he'd actually thrown up last night, but since he didn't smell anything, he was just going to hope he hadn't.

  His face was pressing into the carpet of his room floor, and his body ached. He sat up slowly, groaning as his head throbbed and his stomach lurched. Something was covering him, and looked down to see the dark fabric of a jacket falling off of his shoulders. Dan's jacket.

  Dan. Shit.

  Phil's mind was still fuzzy, and all the details weren't too clear, but he did remember Dan, and kissing him. Like, a lot. And he was fairly certain  that they'd started doing body shots at some point, which would explain why his shirt was missing.

  The room was empty, no bottles littering the floor like they'd been last night, and no Dan. Phil was almost one hundred percent sure that they'd ended up collapsed on the floor together, but he wasn't there anymore.

  He struggled to his feet, grabbing onto the edge of his dresser and heaving himself up. He felt like shit, his stomach rolling constantly, and everything was too bright and too loud. Thank god it was Sunday, cause he didn't feel like dealing with anyone today.

  He found Dan in the bathroom down the hall, his head near the toilet and one of his legs dangling inside of the bathtub. Phil would have laughed, but he was sure that if he did, he'd just end up vomiting. He knelt down slowly next to the sleeping Dan, reaching out his hand hesitantly and shaking his bare shoulder. Oh yeah. Definitely body shots.

  "Dan." He whispered, cautious not to be too loud because the boy had had way more to drink than Phil, and his hangover was likely to be much worse. "Wake up, asshole, you can't sleep on the bathroom floor."

  Dan groaned, rolling over onto his side and burying his head in his arms. His jeans had somehow made it past his hips, on the verge of showing off his ass, covered by his thin gray boxers. "Leave me alone." He moaned. "I'm dying."

  Phil shook his head, smiling and shaking him again. "C'mon. That floor can not be comfortable."

  "Oh, it very much is."

  It took way longer than necessary to eventually drag Dan out of the bathroom and lay him across the couch. Phil actually felt sorry for him, but he also had to admit, it was fun watching him be so out of it. He was usually all cool and calm, and it was nice to know that there was something that could break him.

  It took three aspirin and half a pot of coffee before Phil's headache was subdued enough to actually begin functioning. His head was a lot more focused, and much to his dismay, detail from the night before began surfacing.

  He swore on his life he was never going to drink again, especially not around boys he liked. He didn't need all this tension and drama in his life.

  Phil took a deep breath, calming himself down slightly before heading back into the living room with a cup of coffee and a bottle of pills for Dan.

  "I suggest you just take the whole bottle, you look like shit." Phil said, tossing the pills to Dan, who was sitting up somewhat painfully.

  "I feel so much worse." He said, taking the cup from Phil gratefully. "I don't remember a thing."

  Phil stared at him for a moment, then sat down next to him, pulling his legs up onto the couch. "Not anything?" He asked softly.

  "I mean, I remember when we started drinking." Dan said, then laughed weakly. "And you saying something about my eyes. But after that, no. Complete blank." He downed half of the coffee, throwing the pills into his mouth and then draining the cup before glancing over at Phil's. "What about you?"

  Phil didn't say anything at first, staring down at his lap intensely. He was debating whether or not to actually tell him the truth, cause he wasn't too sure how Dan would react. He didn't think Dan would particularly mind having kissed him, a guy. He just didn't think he'd be too fond of kissing him, Phil Lester, his friend. It wasn't what friends usually did, or at least, Phil had never done it with any of his friends. But he wasn't one to lie, either.

  "Well, we were both pretty drunk." Phil started nervously. "Talking about weird stuff, nothing important, really."

  "Aw, what did I say?" Dan asked amusedly, and Phil looked up to see him smiling curiously, his eyes closed.

  "Just...you asked me what my favorite part of your body was. And I said I like your eyes." He said, smiling slightly at the memory. He didn't mention the part when Dan had said he liked Phil's eyes as well, deciding to keep that for himself. "Nothing else after that, really. Then you decided it would be a great idea to get high."

  Dan laughed, wincing slightly as he did. "I do have the greatest ideas."

  "Definitely." Phil agreed. "And then I joined you. But I'd never really done it before, so you did this weird thing, where you kinda blew the smoke out, into my mouth-"

  "Shotgunning." Dan interrupted tiredly.

  "Right." Phil said. "Um, then you-well we sort of...we kissed." He said it quietly, hoping not to make such a big deal out of it. He'd just play it off, like he wasn't bothered by it, even though just the memory of it had his heart racing.

  "Fuck." He heard Dan mutter, and looked up to see him run his fingers through his hair. The look on his face was one of regret, and Phil felt his stomach clench. Was the idea of kissing him that bad?

  "It's fine." Phil said, flashing him a small smile. He felt so insignificant. "We were both out of it, just....forget it happened." Why was he so fucking weak? He could feel his body start shaking, and his throat was closing up. He looked away, pulling his legs up and wrapping his arms around them.

  "What else?"

  "Hm?" Phil asked, snapping out of his haze of depression.

  "What else happened?" Dan said.

  "Oh. Um, just more drinking, smoking, and kissing, really. And then you took off your shirt and demanded we do body shots, even though I told you we didn't have any shot glasses." Phil said, a grin passing across his face. He heard Dan groaned, but he was smiling too.

  "Oh, god." He said. "I'm a horrible friend."

  Phil reached out and patted his leg. "You're not that bad." He said sympathetically. Dan glared at him.

  "Thanks." He said sarcastically.

  "No problem." Phil giggled, but winced when his head throbbed. God, he hated being hungover.

  "I didn't, Um..." Dan said suddenly, softly. "I didn't do anything else, right? Like, after we..."

  Phil stared at his knees. "No. It was really all PG after that."

  Phil had never had any reason to be insecure about anything before, but for some reason, he could never shake the feeling when he was around Dan. Like he wasn't good enough, wasn't worthy of being near him. It was like some nagging thing in the back of his mind, never completely showing itself, but also never going away.

  "I'm sorry." Dan said, and Phil looked over at him. "I didn't mean to cross any boundaries with you, and I really hope it doesn't mess up anything between us."

  Phil smiled gently at him. "It's okay, really." But it wasn't okay, because Phil hated the fact that he'd finally gotten what he wanted, and now it was made to be forgotten, as if it had never happened. He didn't want to let go of that memory, of Dan's lips inches from his own, crashing together, moving, sliding. The heat of his hands on Phil's face, his shoulders, his hips. He wanted to keep that forever.

  He was so needy these days, and for nothing, no viable reason. He'd had crushes before, kissed other guys, but with Dan, everything was more intense, and it was everything he wanted, craved. It was this deep seated hunger in the center of him, gnawing away at his insides and leaving him breathless. And there was only one thing that could make it go away. One thing he couldn't reach.

  They didn't do anything that day, both too tired and beat up to actually be productive. Most of it was spent asleep, and Phil was ten times happier that Dan ended up sharing his bed, even if it was big enough for them not to have too much physical contact.

  Honestly, it was the best weekend Phil could remember having.

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  a/n: This was a horrible chapter...

  Sorry if it's been kind of long, I've been going through some shit. Not gonna go into detail, you probably don't care.

  In other news, my birthday is very soon, on Halloween, actually. (Also, when Crown The Empire's video for Bloodline comes out, squeee).

  But yeah, that's it, hope you liked this, and I'll see ya next time. Peace :3