Ch. 3: Bad Comedian

I walked inside this building called school confidently. This uniform is really uncomfortable but the rules are rules anyway.

I keep fixing the ribbon hanging on my neck and the collar. I don't really care about my hair and face. If they don't like it, they'll have to deal with how I look!

I was walking around my classroom carelessly. When out of nowhere, a guy wearing a blue hoodie with his hands in his pockets approached me cheerfully.

I noticed all the people surrounding around us. I feel really uncomfortable...but I kept this fear all to myself.

"Hi. My name's Zante, you can call me Zan for short." He introduced himself. He stretched his left arm out, inviting me to shake it.

I immediately noticed the cushion in his hand but I wondered more about his dominant hand.

"You usually use your left hand more than your right?"

"Uhh yeah. I'm a lefty, ya know. I'm different from others. People like me that use their left hands more than their right are called lefty."

"I see..." I kept staring at the cushion on his hand. I wondered what that is. "Well, my name is Celeste."

But I completely ignored it and just lightened up the pressure. That dude clearly put a lot more pressure into it, creating a rather strange noise... After that noise, the whole class started laughing loudly. Of course, Zan is included. He's the one who planned the whole thing up anyway.

"The old whoopee cushion on the hand trick. Hehe." He smiled.

I stared at him blankly, not knowing what he did.

"You're a bad comedian." I merely stated before walking out of the classroom, exploring the halls.

I saw a small hint of guilt in him as I walk away...

When I thought I was safe from him and went back to the classroom, he immediately approached me, which slightly startled me.

"I'm sorry... Did I offend you in some way?" His face seems genuinely apologetic. He scratched the back of his head again with his left hand while his right hand is in his hoodie's pocket.

"I don't even know what you had done but by the fact that everybody laughed at me, I could take that as offensive. I am no laughing matter, am I? And by that simple cushion on your hand, you were able to pull off that trick. A bad comedian indeed." I turned my head away from him, looking at the glass window beside me.

"I-I'm sorry... Don't you know the whoopee cushion in the hand trick?"

"So there's a name for that trick. You just copied it, didn't you? That was a horrible trick. You don't depend in your own self to be original, don't you?"

"Look, I really am sorry. Are you a foreigner?"

"What's a foreigner?"

"A foreigner is a person that lives in another country."

"What country is this?"

"Seriously?!" He backed away in surprise. "I didn't expect you to know so little!"

My ears twitched with what he said. Not everyone is like Cervi. He won't accept me. He won't accept how little I know about the human world! All is ruined! All is ruined!

I clenched my teeth together in anger, making sure that Zan sees my expression. "What if I know so little? What's your point in that, huh?! Do you know how to not discriminate others?!"

"I-I didn't mean it like that, I--"

"Then what did you mean, you big pile of junk?!"

"Calm down, C. I mean no harm. I just came here to apologize and that's that. I didn't mean to unintentionally condescend you in any way."

"First of all, it's Celeste. Ce-leste. And whatever, I accept your apology and crap. Is that all you have to say?"

"Not entirely done. C is short for Celeste. It's called a nickname. Where did you come from?"

"It doesn't matter where."

As soon as I flatly answered his flat question, the school bell flatly rings in a flat time. It turned every student into sitting flatly at their respective desks. I already chose my seat. And, this guy walked slowly to his own flat desk.

An adult woman came in the classroom. I guess this is the teacher they're talking about, isn't it?

They all stood up. I merely copied their actions to make me fit in. "Good morning, ma'am."

"Good morning. Take your seats."

With that signal, they all sat down, as well as me.

"First, my name is Kira, Kira Sabin. You can call me Ms. Sabin. Ok, time for the introductions of you students. Let's start at the back. You girl." She stretched her hands to call for me. "Please introduce yourself in front of the other students."

I stood up from my seat and walked towards the front, just beside the teacher's desk. I took a deep breath and began to talk with my normal voice.

"My name is Celeste Auden."

And with that little information, everyone started gasping. Is my name really that surprising? I mean, I really don't know how that works. Even Ms. Sabin gasped! What the hell's wrong with these people?

"You mean, you're the daughter of Patricia and Johnny Auden?"

"Yes." I let out an uncomfortable silence. "Is that name really important?"

"Oh yes. The news said that the Auden family is powerful enough that the whole world can bow down to their knees if they asked for it!" The teacher politely explained.

"Really? Bow down to me, peasant." I flatly asked her.

"But still, I'm your teacher and I'm older than you. You must respect me more."

"Liar." I blankly told her.

She was silenced by my comment. To break this silence, she asked me "ok, how old are you?" She coughed.

"I'm 13 years old."

"Favorite color?"

"Red."

"Why?"

"Because it reminds me of my childhood."

Everyone was silenced...

Suddenly, the teacher giggled and asked "how so?"

"You know how. A lot of blood were splattered in front of me, fire everywhere, my weapons are also red and--" I stopped my mouth from talking any further as I saw their faces being sour. I completely forgot to keep my facade in tact or else they will accuse me of the murders that have been happening around town.

Awkwardly, I walked back to my seat. All of their gazes are fixed to me. I clenched my teeth, glaring at them. "Why are you all still looking at me?! I'm done, aren't I?! DONE." I said, in hopes of averting their gazes from me.

In all of their gazes, one particular caught my eye...it was Zan smirking at me. I wonder what's his problem.



2 hours afterwards...

"C, I gotta talk to you." Zan approached me at my desk, saying this.

"What about?" I raised my head to fix my gaze at him.

"Your true history." He rested all his weight on my table through his hands.

I raised an eyebrow, knowing that there's something else that will happen here...

As to wait for his cue, a small young-looking guy slammed the door just to enter our classroom.

"ZAN!!!" He shouted.

"What's wrong bro?"

"Don't 'what's wrong bro?' Me! I have some terrible news!" He puts his arm on his hips and tiptoed to reach Zan's height.

"What's the news?" Zan asked, as laid-back as ever.

"I keep being rejected to be in the Royalties! Senna keeps pushing me away. I must find someone who's rich and famous so that I can be accepted."

Zan briefly glances at me. He then moved closer, with his mouth reaching my ears. "Please help my brother. Don't worry, I'll help you if something happens."

"What's in it for me?" I whispered back. I didn't whisper at his ear but he still heard it while his brother did not.

"Anything you ask for."

I heaved a sigh before walking slowly to his brother.

"My name is Celeste Auden." I flatly introduced myself. "The daughter of Patricia and Johnny Auden."

"Oh my god, seriously?! Zan, is she telling the truth?"

"I dunno. Why don't you ask her?"

"Are you telling the truth?"

"Of course, you dummy."

"Zan, this is wonderful! Come along now Auden. I will finally be accepted as a royalty once I bring you to Senna!" He sounded genuinely excited. "By the way, my name's Palatino, the Great Palatino."

I glanced at Zan, slightly glaring at him. He, in return, just smiles like none of this is his concern.

While we're going to this room of royalties thingy, I feel Zan's presence following me. I guess to keep me safe. I'll let him go for now.

Ok, so now we're here, in front of the Royalties door and now what?

"Hey Palatino, what are we doing here?" I asked him. I see him trembling in nervousness, sweat covering his whole body.

"I...I'm just too excited!!" His eyes sparkled like diamonds.

I backed down with appropriate distance.

I don't want to wait any longer so as I reach the doorknob to open it myself, someone else opened it, startling me.

"Huh? You're the transfer student, right?" A petite princess-like figure asked.

"Senna!" Palatino exclaimed.

"Oh, Palatino. Who is this?"

"This is Celeste Auden!"

"Auden?" Senna glanced at me, taking a second look. "Welcome, welcome."

She lets me in...in a torture chamber it seems. She even lets Palatino in. I mean, judging from her small figure and how innocent Palatino seems to be, how old are they?!

"Just how old are you?" I asked, still blindly following her.

"You know." She stopped walking, turning to us. "It's useless for you to know...if you're about to die!! Hahaha!!!"

"What?! Palatino?!" I looked at him. I saw his face having the same surprised face. He didn't know about her true intentions either... "But hey, quick question: do you kill someone other than me that's in this school and did you succeed?"

"Yes... 7 of them. I murdered them...literally. I killed them, tricking people to work with me with fake ads that predict their happiness. Isn't it fun to be evil?"

I laughed maniacally, ignoring her boring speech. "Oh, is it now? Tricking people and then betraying their happiness, killing the rich and famous out of what? Jealousy? Hahaha. It's beyond fun. Get that right."

"You speak like you can kill me before I can kill you."

"'Cause that's the truth."

I picked a nearby bread knife laying on a table for her tea time, I guess. She has her staff.

"What a puny weapon you have! Hahaha!!"

With a smirk etched on my face, I dashed to her, cutting her staff in half.

I was satisfied with her facial expression, her eyes are wide open, so is her jaw.

I taunted her again, pointing the bread knife to her neck as I corner her.

"Where are the other 7 kids?"

"Wh-who gave her a real knife?! This is a role-playing game. You're out, Palatino!"

"Huh? B-but--"

"Didn't you hear me? OUT!"

With a slam of the door to our faces, we were sent back outside.

"What happened there?" Zan asked us.

Our eyes became completely blank, not knowing what happened nor how to explain it to someone. But there was one simple sentence that we both told him.

"She's downright evil."

Zan chuckled as if he knew this all along.

"Don't think too much into it. She can be really obedient if you forced her to."

"I tried. It failed." I flatly told him.

"Welp, you're on your own now, C. See you at lunch."

Then, we part ways just like he said. Zan and I took the same path while Palatino took the other one.

"How old is he?"

"Palatino and Senna? They're 6."

"That girl...is interesting. I'll go back whenever I want." I smirked.

"Really? How?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"By, you know, infiltrating. It'll be fun!" I weakly smiled.





3 hours later...

Hmm... It seems like it's lunchtime now.

"C, I'll tell you about what I found out about Senna." Zan suddenly approached me, saying me this.

I don't particularly care about what he found out but maybe this will make my work easy. "Go on."

"Well yeah, she truly did capture those other 7 rich and famous kids. They all have the same fatal wound-- their hearts were removed. I guess you could say...she stole all of their hearts." Zan approached me close to the face, waiting for me to get it and laugh.

"Ok, so their hearts were removed in what way?" I said, my face not moving an inch.

"That's the difference. Their hearts were truly removed but they all had different methods of doing it."

"What is she trying to do? What's her intention?"

"I dunno but it seems she now has...a jar of hearts!" He snorted.

I sighed. "You're telling me this because...?" I raised an eyebrow. I was foolish to give in to this conversation without knowing why he mentioned about it in the first place.

"I told you already, haven't I? I will help you. So here is one vital information you need to know when confronting Senna. You could be prepared if she attacks you in the heart."

"Thanks." I stood up from my seat confidently. "But I don't think I need help from you right now."

"You don't think that but I'm only doing my deal. Keep keeping my brother happy, Little Miss." He walked away with his hands in his hoodie's pockets as always.

"What else do I need to do then?"

"Solve puzzles, his puzzles to be exact." Then he continues to walk away until he eventually exits the room.

"Palatino's puzzles?" I whispered to myself, scratching my head in confusion. They're 6! 6-year olds already know how to make puzzles on their own? I thought the younger the humans are, the dumber they get. Why are these 6-year olds very smart?! Where's the justice here?! What's the truth?!

I heaved a heavy sigh. This is the first time I sighed this heavy. Is this what stress feels like? Is this even stress? I can't tell.

I also walked outside our classroom, finding Palatino.

And eventually, I reached him. "Oh there you are."

"Hm? What do you need from the Great Palatino, rich lady?"

"Uhh..." Hmm... I guess I'll have to solve Palatino's puzzles first before confronting Senna. Where's that Zan guy? If he's here watching right now, I might have accepted this long ago, non-hesitantly. "I just feel like solving your puzzles today. Zan told me about it and I want to try it for myself."

"Oh, Zan also makes puzzles himself. I got my puzzle-making skills from him." Big brother influence. Good. Wait he makes bad jokes! Gah, please don't make his brother an obsessive fan of these jokes.

"Let me solve one of your puzzles."

Palatino's eyes sparkled brilliantly. It shines too much that I want to close my eyes to avoid the shine covering my eyes.

"Great! Great! Come here, come here, I will show you the puzzle room, rich lady!"

We walked to the puzzle room and saw a desk with a spaghetti on it... Well, that caught my eye, but surrounding the spaghetti, there's a lot of traps that I'm sure will inflict pain on me.

"Try getting past here, rich lady! Nyeh heh heh heh heh!" He spun around, going near the door, leaving me alone to solve this puzzle all by myself.

I sighed. After that, I walked straight to the puzzles, taking advantage of my agility and intelligence to solve them.

I reached the spaghetti but before I even touch it, all the puzzles suddenly became solved.

I looked around the room and saw Palatino already on the other side of the spaghetti plate, looking at me dreamily.

I backed down away completely, triggering one of the traps that he himself set up for me.

A dark shadowy figure came behind me. It stopped me from falling to the trap. I saw Palatino's face, scared that I will fall. I swear I heard spikes from behind me.

"Little Miss, I thought you don't need my help."

That voice...

"What are you doing over here, Zan?" Palatino asked.

"I was just hanging around." Zan casually answered, pushing me gently, taking me back to my feet. As I was standing up again, he whispered to my ear... "You're done now, don't worry." Then he talks to Palatino like nothing awkward happened between us.

I raised an eyebrow, walking out the puzzle room. I went to the Royalties room instead, in hopes of finding Senna.

"Senna.... Have you had enough of this child's play?"

"What are you talking about, Celeste? I'll never have enough of this child's play." She giggled, sipping the tea she prepared herself. "Although, I really was surprised that you were able to destroy my staff that easily. What brings you here, dear friend? I thought you're still in the Underground."

"I thought the same with you too. That's why it makes sense when you're very smart despite being a 6-year old. I hardly even noticed you being one of my old friends in the Underground." I took a seat in front of her in the long rectangular table where her tea and cookies are. The seats are all empty, maybe reserved. So I took the one that's most likely not reserved-- sitting in front of each other, face-to-face with this demon.

"That's usual for you, isn't it?"

"Though I only have one question for you: you're also a demon who feeds in suffering human souls so why are you collecting hearts of the rich and famous children? It's impossible to have you eating them, right?" I picked the teapot up, pouring tea into this cute little teacup.

"Don't get me wrong here. I'm doing this because I have an experiment regarding humans. If their souls taste delicious, what do their other vital parts in order to live taste like?" She took a cookie and ate it formally. Like it's a real tea-time.

"Why do you need 7 of them? Even more, why are you still finding more? Why not experiment with some other useless children living in the streets or whatever? Why the rich and famous ones?" I glared at her, crushing the cookie in my hand, turning it into dust.

"My, my, I thought you only have one question. I guess I can forgive you for how nosy you are today. Turns out, the human hearts taste the same. They're equally delicious but there's more spice to it than of their souls. Actually, what we're drinking and eating are composed of human hearts. Maybe you would say that you crushed their hearts when you crushed the cookie!" She begins to burst into brief laughter before talking seriously with me again. "I really do enjoy messing with other people's lives, especially the rich and famous ones because once in our lives in the Underground, never did we experience that kind of luxurious life." She bites her fingertip, her eyes burning with jealousy.

"I see. You only took the ones in this school, right? And did you get those bad jokes from that Zan guy?" I blankly asked her.

"Yes. And I intend to only take ones in this school because it makes my work easier. Especially with Palatino as my servant.. Also yes. That guy knows what I've been doing to his brother ever since he insists me to let him join in this club-like room. He's always meddling in my plans, so I can't really do anything about it. To think that I'm losing to a human!" She continues biting her fingertip again, this time, her eyes being filled with wrath and disappointment in herself.

"What kind of demon are you, letting yourself be lost to a worthless human like him? Also, you're taking my food source over here! Why don't you stop it with collecting their hearts?! Once everyone will know about it--"

"They won't." She confidently answered. "I also killed them, consuming their souls."

"Stop it with collecting hearts. You're always using Palatino with your shenanigans. I won't let you use that 6-year old ever again!" I took out my spear, my default weapon as a demon.

"Are you pitying a human? My, what kind of demon are you, befriending a worthless human like him?" She took out her default weapon as a demon too, her staff.

"How did you even get to earth in the first place?" I stood up on the table, walking towards her with the spear pointing at her head.

"You know how smart I am. With this and that, I was able to build a machine for transferring demons to earth. Eventually, I ended up in China and reached this school because I sense a lot of rich and famous children in here so I'd love to give it a try." She smirked, also pointing her staff at me.

I clenched my teeth, trying to stab her with the spear. She did the same with her staff but we both dodged it in the same way-- we spun around the air and landed safely on the ground.

"It's time to begin the battle, dear old friend of mine." She did a formal curtsy.

"Agreed, you backstabbing traitor." I copied her actions and accent.

In a split second after we introduced our battle with each other (which is totally unnecessary), we charged at the same time, causing our weapons to clash. It kept clashing and clashing until I gave up on the pattern.

As Senna charged at me, targeting my head, I dodged it casually, sliding to the side, and stabbed the spear right to her abdomen.

She screamed in pain, vomiting blood through her mouth, dropping her staff in the process.

"I'm still older than you." I said, taking her staff with me.

While she's still vulnerable on the ground, I kept smacking her using her own staff, causing her to fly off the walls, cracking them.

She kept on coughing blood, her mouth and stomach is full of blood. Seeing how weakened she is, a thought suddenly appeared in my mind.

"You're not a demon anymore, are you?" I took this time to be surprised, giving her a chance to ever escape if she can.

"Y-you just figured that one....out?" She coughed, taking all of her breath and energy to just say one simple sentence...to mock me.

"What did you do?" My mouth began to tremble, scared to talk to her now.

"What did I do? Heh... I don't even know." As soon as she said that, her body thumped loudly on the floor. I guess that was her last words? Well that was easy. Humans are so fragile. Oh wait, she is young. I guess it makes sense. And she lost a lot of blood too. Hmph.

I threw the staff somewhere and turned my back on her, not caring to stab her anymore. It's useless anyway.

"Heh... Heheheh.... Hahaha.... HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!" She maniacally laughed. Her voice echoed in the whole room. "How foolish of you to believe that stupid and obvious lie."

I heard her wings flutter above.

When I turned around, I saw her flying above me, with her semi-demonic form, holding her staff, targeting me.

Her body really was hurt. Her wounds take a longer time to heal than before.

It didn't take long for her to throw it to me non-hesitantly.

It was too fast for my eyes to see it... Haha. That was a stupid obvious lie. It was just an excuse so that I won't have to continue this never-ending fight with immortal soulless demons. Of course, if one of us is really immortal and soulless or even a demon.

One more second and the staff lands on me, one person jumped and hugged me, sending the both of us tumbling around until we stopped with him being on the top while I was in the bottom. He had worried eyes before hugging me again in protection. I saw the staff having a countdown timer, which makes me realize that that staff is actually a bomb. I kept my eyes wide open, even during the explosion of the staff.

After the big explosion, the two of us were safe but Senna isn't found anywhere. She completely disappeared after the explosion!

"You ok, Little Miss?" Zan asked me, before breaking the hug, looking at my surprised face for a while. He stood up, offering his hand out to me. "Can you stand?"

"Why?" I murmured. "Why do you keep saving me even if I don't tell you to? Why are you keeping me away from harm every time? Why do you always show up at the very best timing? Where did you even come from?!" I stuffed all of these questions in my mind, messing my hair up.

"Calm down, C. I'm just here to do my deal. After all, I owe you big time for helping Palatino, and keeping an eye on him and...you're treating him as his friend even if the deal is over, right?" He offered his left hand out to me.

"And you also keep doing the deal even after the deal is over so what are you talking ab--"

"Just stand up. The bell's about to ring. It's useless to waste our time here looking for Senna." He pulled my whole body with only his left arm.

I covered my ear with my free hand, waiting for that whoopee cushion to sound again.

"Hahaha! What are you doing? There's no whoopee cushion this time. That offenses you, doesn't it? I won't do that again, I promise."

I weakly smiled with his promise. He's concerned about the well-being of others, huh...

We pulled our hands away from each other after he pulled me to stand up. We were then walking to the hallway.

"Hey. When I say 'knock knock' you say 'who's there?' Ok? And when I say a word, you repeat the word exactly how you heard it and add 'who?' And let me do the talking afterwards, ok? It's called a knock knock joke. Ready? Knock knock."

Wow, he thoroughly explained this without even making sure if I know about this already or not.... Thanks?

"Who's there?"

"Senna."

"Senna who?" I'm not even sure if I'm doing this right or not. If Senna is on the door, I'll have to answer with "Get out." Right away.

"I haven't Senna demon before but now that I did, I swear to protect my little bro from it!"

"....I don't get it. Did you play Senna's name for the same pronunciation for 'seen a'?"

"That's right. That's called a pun."

"I see. So you make bad jokes and bad puns. You really are a bad comedian in general, aren't you?"

"A lot of people say that. But I don't really care. Maybe you're not just getting it, that's why you aren't laughing. My new goal for today is to protect my bro from that Senna demon and make you laugh!" He sounded so determined.

"Ok, Bad Comedian."

"I just earned a horrible nickname." He slumped his shoulders.

"I thought you said you don't really care."

He laughed, turning to me while he's walking backwards, then turned back. He just glanced at me to let me see his laugh then turned away. What was that for? Was that meant to make me laugh? Argh, I don't even know what's happening right now. All I know is that I befriended a bad comedian and his little brother... Why am I wasting my time here?

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