"Shy, are you okay?"

The question unexpectedly came from Salvador's lips and caught me off guard. We were in the middle of finishing up organizing the kitchen in his house. 

Should I tell him the truth?  I wondered to myself as I stopped rearranging the plates in the cupboard and bit my lower lip in thought. 

After a few seconds of silence, I managed to mutter, "No, I'm really not."

Although it felt good to confess, I expected him, like everyone else I trusted, to reassure me that my situation wasn't as bad as I thought it was. 

"I know you're not." He replied solemnly. "I've been wanting to talk to you for awhile about some things, but I don't know if you're ready to hear what I have to say." 

"You can tell me." I said plainly. I wasn't sure what he was referring to, but I was curious to know what he meant by that. 

"Here, go ahead and sit down." He pulled a chair out for me and I did as he said. He then sat across from me and placed his honey colored hands to his lips and studied me carefully with his sea green eyes, as if trying to figure out how to start the conversation. "Do you remember when Amber and I came over to your parent's house for Thanksgiving last year?" 

"Yes." I replied. I remembered that occasion very well. My parents liked to invite over people for the holidays who didn't have families nearby so they wouldn't have to spend the evening alone. It was a kind thing for them to do, but it also meant they could weed out who my siblings and I had for friends. 

"Do you remember how your family wasn't happy that Amber and I are atheists?" He asked gently. 

I sighed and shook my head. "Yeah, I know, I'm sorry about their behavior." They had been disappointed when Salvador and Amber had declined their invitation to attend their church on Sundays, and they hadn't done a good job of hiding their feelings either. Ever since that night, they hadn't wanted either of them to be invited back over. 

"That's alright." Salvador smiled. "I just want you to know that..." He fidgeted in his seat and thought for a moment before continuing, "I think that they're overly involved in your life, to the point where you don't have any individuality apart from them." 

I sat there, stunned. "You're right." I breathed. I couldn't deny that his observation was correct. He had described exactly how I felt. 

"Shy..." He looked into my bright blue eyes with complete sincerity. "What do you want to do?" 

Tears suddenly began forming behind my eyes as a sudden realization dawned on me. 

"No one ever asks me that." I gasped. "Not my husband, not my family, not even my Christian friends..." I choked and forced myself to breath more slowly. "Why am I only hearing that from you?" 

"Because I know you're unhappy, and you're being controlled by others." Salvador smiled sadly. "What do you want to do?" He repeated. 

"I want..." I took a deep breath and continued, "I want to divorce Steven. I want to be free from him." 

Salvador nodded empathetically. "I understand. But you have to initiate that for it to happen." 

"I'm so scared of doing it." I whispered. "Everyone will be so upset and disappointed in me for getting a divorce, it's like committing an unforgivable sin." 

"Shy." Salvador suddenly reached forward across the table and wrapped his slender fingers around my hand. I felt the warmth from his body and a shock, like a bolt of lightening, coursed through my veins. 

I was falling in love. With a married man. 

Dear God. What am I doing?

"Uh..." I blushed profusely and tried to shy away, but my hand stayed on the table under his. I sat, frozen in the chair, not knowing what to do. 

"We need to build up your confidence." He looked so calm as he stared into my ever reddening face. I was practically melting from his touch and incapable of doing anything. 

"O-okay..." I managed to stutter. My heart was racing, and I was too embarrassed to look him full the in eyes. "I... I need to... to go, now..." I tried to get up, but my legs had turned into noodles. I hadn't felt this much excitement and nervousness in a long time, and my brain felt as if it were fit-zing out from all the crazy emotions that were bubbling up inside of me. 

"Sounds good." He smiled kindly. "Do you need help up?" 

"No, I got it, thanks." I finally managed to stand up despite feeling shaky and wobbly. Just as I made it towards the front door, I looked through the large, front window and saw Amber's car pulling up into the long driveway just behind where mine was parked. Amber had been at work and had received a promotion just a few days prior. I knew her hours were now different, but I wasn't sure exactly what her new schedule was.

My car was now boxed in. Not only was I trapped, but I looked incredibly flustered, as if I were guilty of doing something wrong. My heart wanted to stop working then and there, and I wished I could melt into the floor and disappear. 

"Amber has something she wants to tell you as well." Salvador added with a hint of amusement in his voice. "She wanted to see you while she was on her lunch break. Are you alright with staying a little longer?" 

I still had an hour left before my son came home from school. "Sure." I nodded weakly as I watched Amber exit her car and waltz up the stairs towards the front door. A thousand different horrible scenarios ran through my mind as she unlocked the front door and made her way into the living room. I expected her to scream at me, accuse me of sleeping with her husband, slap me, threaten to kill me, or any other typical response a spouse would have if she felt her partner was being unfaithful. 

"Hey Shy!" Amber exclaimed when she spotted me. She proceeded to run over and throw her arms around me. "I wanted to know if you wanted to have a girl's night with me sometime?" She asked while still holding me in an tight embrace.

"Yeah!" I squeaked. She wasn't acting at all like I imagined she would, so I relaxed my shoulders and heaved a sigh of relief. "A girl's night sounds amazing." I breathed. 

"Can you do it tonight?" She asked in a sweet, whiny voice.

"Yeah, what time?" I asked with a bit more gusto in my voice. I felt much better knowing she wasn't going to murder me.

"How about seven?" She grinned. 

"Yes, I'll tell Steven, and I'll make it work." I smiled to her. Inwardly, I was worried that he wouldn't give me permission to go. I was hopeful that because I never asked to go out at night that he would allow me to this one time. 

"I think a girl's night is exactly what you need." Salvador had a smirk on his face as he watched Amber and I, as if he were holding back on saying something. 

"I agree." Amber smiled up at me. Her brown eyes reminded me of a puppies', so cute and innocent looking. "I'll pick you up at seven then?" 

"Yes, that sounds perfect." My heart was racing again, but from the thrill of knowing I had been invited out by Amber. I was secretly happy that Salvador wasn't joining only because I had felt such an overwhelming sense of adoration for him, and I wasn't sure how well I could hide it. I was excited to see what she had planned for us that night, and I prayed silently that Steven wouldn't stop me from going out. I wanted to have fun hanging with friends like I had used to before I had gotten married. 

"I'll move my car so you can get out." Amber winked at me before walking out the front door. I waved goodbye to Salvador before following after her. "I'll see you soon!" She called out to me as I pulled my car away from their driveway. I waved to her too before heading home. 

They're both very lovely. I thought to myself as I let myself into Steven and I's house. I was still curious as to why Amber was acting like everything was wonderful, as if her accusations of Salvador being abusive had never happened. Although it bothered me, I was also just grateful to have friends who actually cared about me, and I didn't want to jeopardize that in any way. It was best, for now, to leave that mystery alone and not question it further. 

Please let Steven allow me to go out... I prayed. Please let him say yes...