I forcefully shut my eyes when I felt her pleading hug from behind, and she’s crumpling my shirt as she is tightly gripping me whole. And with every her every weep, my heart couldn’t take it. As if I wanted to caress her, to tell her I’m sorry I am, but I know I shouldn’t.

“Please… Please look at me the way you use to, Garet…” With her continuous plead, I seem to forget the people around us. “I—I’m sorry if—”

“Just shut it.” Puwersahan kong tinanggal ang mga kamay n’yang nakayakap sa ‘kin kasabay nito ang pagtingin sa mga mata n’yang kanina ko pang iniiwasan.

“Garet… Please look at me—”

“How can I look at you?” I asked bitterly. I gasped for air, trying to hold back my tears that I’ve been holding back for days. “How can I look at you when every time I look at your eyes... All I can see is your betrayal?”

“Then why did you chase me? Why did you—”

“The chase is long over, Alexis.”

Her pale brown eyes that always oozes confidence slowly turned downcast. And as her lips tremble, I wished that I didn’t say those words. I hoped that I could turn back time, just like Apollo’s stupid idea, even for a second.

Dahan-dahan siyang humakbang paatras sa ‘kin kasabay ang panginginig ng kaniyang mga labi at ang pagbagsak ng bawat luha sa mata n’ya ay hindi ko kinakaya.

At kahit na gusto ko siyang yakapin at humingi ng tawad ay tinalikuran ko s’ya, tinalikuran ko silang lahat dahil hindi nila maiintindihan ang nararamdaman ko.

Pabagsak akong sumandal sa may balkonahe kasabay nito ang mabilis na pag-agos ng mga luha ko, “Tangina… Ang sakit-sakit…”

Hindi ko magawang titigan ang mga mata n’ya o ‘di kaya’y mahawakan siya dahil paulit-ulit na umuulit sa aking utak ang nangyari ng mga panahon na ‘yon.

Bakit n’ya sinakripisyo ang sarili n’ya para sa ‘kin?

Bakit pumayag siya na gaguhin lamang siya ng d’yos na ‘yon?

“Tangina…” Sa bawat murang kumakawala sa aking bibig ay sinasabayan ito nang pagtulo ng aking mga luha. “Gusto kong humingi ng tawad… Parang gago-gago ko ro’n.”

“Tama ka, Garet. Gago ka nga.” Nag-angat ako ng tingin at napansin ang isang pigura na inaangat ng malalaking baging.

Seryoso akong pinagmasdan nito at sumilay sa kalangitan, “Si Alexis ang pinakamatalik kong kaibigan pero nandito ako sa’yo ngayon… Alam mo kung bakit?”

Nanatali lamang akong tahimik sa ‘king puwesto at ng malungkot na ngumiti si Emerald sa kalangitan ay dahan-dahan akong nilingon nito.

“Because I knew that you’re in pain too. If Alexis and the others are looking at your actions and to your words… I was looking at your eyes.” She softly laughed and played with the vines around us, “Your eyes reflect your soul. If they are angry because of the words you’ve told her… I was delighted because none of them were your feelings.”

“I hurt your friend. Why are you so nice to me?”

“You’re my friend too, Garet,” she said. Emerald slowly tilted her and looked at me, “She’s hurt as well as you. But the only question was— What do you know that we don’t know of?”

I immediately avoided her gaze because she was looking for an answer. At ayokong sagutin o ungkatin ang bagay na ‘yon. Masyadong masakit at nakagagalit. Hindi nila mararamdaman kung gaano ko nakita ang sarili ko bilang pinakawalangkwenta na pinuno.

Na ang tangi ko lamang na nagawa ay ang panoorin silang magdusa habang ako’y nakahiga lamang sa malambot na kama at ng oras na malapit na nilang matapos ang kalaban ay saka lamang ako dumating.

Napakawalang silbi…

“She lost her consciousness after you left…” I looked up to Emerald and gasped for air.

As I heaved a sigh, I looked at her eyes, “D—Did her body hit the ground? Did someone catch her? Is she—”

“Glifford caught her, and she’s now resting in her room. Kung gusto mo s’yang bisitahin… Hintayin mo munang makaalis sina Savannah sa tabi n’ya.”

Right… They are angry and disappointed.

“I — I found… I found my dream.” I slowly closed my eyes the cold wind touches my skin. I can feel her eyes looking at me with curiosity, waiting for another word that I will say, but I remained quiet.

As I open my eyes, she’s still looking at me.

“I thought… Alexis was your dream?”

It is not just her… It’s them.

I just smiled at her and admired the stars on the horizon. If Alyssa is still with us, I knew that she’d be able to understand the words behind my smile. She’s a keen companion, after all.

Emerald bid goodbye and told me that this night was very exhausting and she badly needed to sleep. Samantalang nanatili lamang ako sa ‘king puwesto at desidido na tuparin ang aking plano.

Nang mas lumalim pa ang gabi ay napagdesisyonan kong tumungo sa silid ni Alexis. Alam ko rin na wala na sina Savannah ro’n lalo na’t hindi maganda ‘yon sa sitwasyon niya. Tahimik kong binuksan ang pinto at dahan-dahan na umupo sa gilid ng kanyang kama.

Nanatili akong nakatitig sa napakaganda at maamo n’yang mukha. Nang lumapit ako sa kanya ay hinawi ko ang hibla ng kanyang mga buhok at marahan na nilapatan ng halik ang kanyang noo.

Tama si Emerald… Puros kasinungalingan lamang ang lumalabas sa labi ko kanina.

“I’m sorry…” I gasped hard for air. I don’t want to cry in front of this sleeping beauty, not in here.

And when I was to get out her body. I suddenly felt her grasp on my wrist, “Please don’t leave me…”

“Let go, Alexis.” Please…

Ang kapit n’ya ay dahan-dahan na naging isang yakap. Tila desidido siyang pigilan ako sa pag-alis mula sa kanyang tabi.

“If your chase is over… I will be willing to chase you all over again. So, please let me…”

I carefully removed her hands and faced her with a small smile. As I gently wipe the tears streaming down her cheeks, she suddenly pulled me and rested her head on my shoulder.

“For Zeus’s sake. I’m the daughter of the Goddess of Wisdom… but why can’t I understand you right now?”

I heaved a sigh and caressed her cheek, making her cry more. At habang tumatagal ang yakap n’ya ay mas lalo itong humihigpit, mas lalong nakapagpapasikip sa aking dibdib.

“I’m going leave,” I whispered.

“Can’t you just stay?”

“I can’t. I need to be stronger…” In order to fight for you, for us.

“Sasama ako—”

“You can’t.” She was about to protest when I suddenly claimed her lips.

As I carefully explore every inch of her. Alexis automatically surrendered. She laid her back to the bed without any hesitation. Her tears stop, yet mine began to escape. I went deeper and deeper, letting her feel how she meant for me and that soon I’ll be longing for her.

My hand slid through her shirt, and her soft moan made me shiver, making us part. Nang tiningnan ko ang mga mata n’ya ay tila lunod na lunod ito sa ‘kin, na tila ba handa siyang isugal lahat para sa akin. At ayoko ng mga pinahihiwatig ng mga mata niyang iyon.

At mula sa labi n’ya, bumaba ang halik ko sa kanyang leeg patungo sa dibdib nito. Ang impit n’yang ungol at marahan niyang pagsabunot sa akin ay tumatatak sa pagkatao ko. Hinapit ko ang kanyang baiwang palapit sa ‘kin kasabay nito ang muli kong pagbalik sa kanyang labi.

“Garet…”

“Hmm?”

“I—” Don’t utter it yet, Alexis. I claimed her lips once again, but this time I was caressing her whole body, not just her cheek.

I slowly remove her shirt while she was trembling on unbuttoning mine. Hinawakan ko ang kamay n’ya at ako ang tuluyan na nagtanggal aking suot na pang-itaas. Ang namumukaw niyang mga mata ay saglit na nabalot ng hiya hanggang sa muli ko siyang hinigit palapit sa ‘kin.

Isang madiin na pisil ang ginawa ko sa kanyang bawaing kasabay ang mainit at madiin na halik sa kanyang dibdib.

“Garet… I’m…” Her soft moan energized me more. Yet, I can feel her exhaustion within her voice.

From all the tears that had escaped her eyes, it must have been sullen by now. Inangat ko ang sarili ko at pinagmasdan ang mukha n’ya, maiangat kong minasahe ang pisnge n’ya dahilan upang magtakha siya.

“What are you—”

“Sleep, Alexis,” I whispered and smiled.

“But what if you leave me again?”

“I’ll stay here… So, sleep.” I gently closed her eyes. Even though she wanted to protest, her exhaustion overpowered her.

Nanatili lamang ako sa kanyang tabi habang yakap-yakap n’ya ako. Saglit kong pinagmasdan ang kaniyang mukha bago ko ito hinalikan sa kanyang noo. Nang mapansin kong mahimbing na ang kanyang pagtulog ay marahan kong minasahe ang kanyang pisnge.

“I’m going to leave for a while…” I whispered to the beautiful woman resting in my arm, “I need to be stronger, so please understand me, Alexis…”

I sadly smiled and closed my eyes.

The chase is long over because now I am willing to fight.

“I need to be stronger to fight for you and to have the rights to claim the child within you right now and call him my own.”

#