IT'S HERE!!! Requested by VooDoodles65

Thank you!

Also. 3K READS?! AHHHH thank y'all so much!!!

Sorry for slow updates.

Now, all hail the best bean.

°°
"So, you call this... Spicy?"

The salsa was mild, and you didn't even have any chips to go with it.

It took everything in you not to sneer and smash the stupid stump.

The only thing stopping you from doing that was the boy in front if you.

"Yes, it's very spicy indeed!" He exclaimed, fanning at his mouth as if to emphasize that fact. He seemed to not notice the way your eyes narrowed.

Why was he so... nice?

Something about his demeanor... He was so sweet and kind to everyone... And for just a moment you felt the darkness on your heart unclench it's grasp a little.

But only just a little.

"Gimme a break, Lando or wherever your name is." You said, wiping the salsa on your hand off on the stump. "You said you had some sort of..." How had he put it? Oh yeah. "'Terribly evil thing' to show me."

God, this bugger was so innocent, whatever he thought was evil and terrible had to be a joke.

Most of the enemies you'd encountered you felled with one swipe, getting an immense amount of pleasure out of beating them.

But this guy... Lancer...

Get a freakin' grip.

"OH, YES!" he exclaimed. "Come with me, and I'll show you something so evil it'll blow your socks off!"

He grabbed your hand and you jumped, yanking it away.

If there was something that really ticked you off, it was people touching you.

"Don't touch me." You growled. Lancer looked a bit hurt, but shrugged it off anyways.

"Ah well, just follow me then!"

---

The place he brought you to was just like any other place in this forest. Full of trees of nauseatingly bright colors, with a soothing breeze running through them.

Lancer disappeared for a moment before popping back up, staggering under the weight of a large bulletin board. He propped it up against a rock and wiped sweat from his forehead. The board had several large blueprints taped to it.

"This..." He panted, "...is the... beginning stage... of my evil plan."

"And what is this oh-so-evil plan, may I ask?"

He puffed up his chest proudly. "To thrash the good guys!!!"

Thrash? What an... Odd word choice, you thought, listening to him gush about how much he wanted to be a bad guy.

He couldn't be bad, not a single bit if he tried.

That was probably what made you bite the inside of your cheek and keep your opinion of his "evil plan" unknown.

Instead, you forced what you hoped was a grin on your face, and asked, "So, what's with these blueprints?"

"Weapons!" He exclaimed. "Boom! Bang! All that jazz! But you don't know when it's gonna get'cha!"

"Well I'll be damned..." You muttered, examining them closer. This guy had an incredibly soft outward appearance, but golly, this was impressive.

These... weapons... were interchangable, by magic, it seemed. Truth be told, they did look a bit flimsy, but that didn't take away from their obvious practicality.

"That's well done!" You said, with a genuine smile. He beamed, as if no one had ever told him that before.

"Ya really think so?"

"Of course! You nodded your head vigorously. "True, it's quite ambitious, but hey, with a dad like yours, that ain't surprising!"

Lancer's smile lessened a bit.

"Yeah, that's true."

You stroked the blade of your (weapon) thoughtfully. Lancer opened his mouth and turned back to the board, but you interrupted him.

"Yeah, your old man can pack quite the punch..."

Lancer's wince was so visible that you had to look up. He wasn't smiling anymore.

The grin on your face was gone in an instant, and your eyes narrowed.

People don't get quite like that.

Not unless...

And suddenly him using the word thrash so often made a whole lot more sense.

"Wait one fuckin' minute... You don't mean he h-"

Lancer laughed nervously and waved his hands. "N-no! I mean... he's a bit slow to get me isn't he?"

Lancer looked down. His smile was so strained...

"That's why Rouxls got me my bike."

You can move faster on a bike.

"...You can move faster on a bike."

"..."

"..."

"..."

You cleared your throat. What you wanted to do was yell, "That asshole! How can he call himself your father? Trying to hit you and you can't even-"

But you didn't.

Instead you did something that made you twitch, was completely unnatural (for you at least), and every bit of you wanted not to do.

You put away your meanness. For just a moment.

And hugged Lancer.

And after a surprised moment or two, he hugged back, and a minute later you heard him sniffling.

Gosh, the poor guy was crying.

He didn't have any friends.

He didn't have any family.

He just had himself.

He only wanted to be cool.

He only wanted to be loved.

Well, you would bet your beloved (weapon) before you said no to doing that.

And mabye, just mabye, he could teach you to be a kinder person. Not such a conceited asshat who felt the need to smite -no, you liked Lancer's word better - thrash every person in your path.

And you could toughen him up a bit.

For when the time came, this kid was gonna be something great.

Oh ho ho, you were gonna make sure of that.

Slowly pulling away from Lancer, you stood up.

Pulled your (weapon) out of it's holder.

And threw it down at Lancer's feet.

He looked surprised, and gazed at you confused. You gave a small smirk.

"See that, buddy? That's a sign of loyalty. But more than that. It's a sign of respect."

He looked into your face, wide eyed.

"Kid... You wanna be the bad guy?"

A laugh came out of your mouth, but it was a friendly one. You smiled with more sincerity than you had in a long time.

"Well then. I'm gonna make you the best damn bad guy this world's ever seen."

°°
*smothers Lancer in hugs* Love him. Give him love, affection, cookies, milk, presents, et cetera. Give him everything because he deserves it. He is marshmallow boi.

If you got the small reference to Error Sans, you get a cookie. 🍪

Next up, some Lime Flavored Jevil sauce. (It comes with complimentary tacos {cause y'know tacos and limes... I'll stop now})