I QUIETLY munched on my flavorful broccoli as the family engaged in jovial conversation. The Arlingtons invited us over for dinner, in graciousness to the Earl and Countess for opening Moonriver Manor.

The town was a nice change of atmosphere. Incessant chatter and activity could be heard at times, but I didn't mind it at all. I enjoyed being in a place Christopher spent some of his childhood years.

Her Grace even showed us various pieces of furniture where young Christopher would carve his initials. It was like discovering another part of him.

A few days have passed since he and I revealed our hearts. The effortless manner in which he said he loved me, and kissed my lips endearingly, would not leave my mind. The fluttery feeling I gained in my stomach was a force so great, it could propel me to fly.

But I tried my very best to bottle my immense happiness around the family, especially Astrid. In his company, we had to keep things at a normalcy. But in truth, it was a task to bare. The ghost of his touch still tingled my skin.

Now I had an even heavier secret to hold - not only was I in love with my cousin's suitor, but he was surely in love with me too! It is only a fraction of time before it is unveiled.

I had to tell Kitty, since within the walls of my bedchamber I could no longer contain my spontaneous smiles. Little Kitty had been right all along. A part of me is gripped with apprehension when I think about Astrid's reaction to the truth.

But the minuscule - yet brave, part of me ached for her to know. It would not be fair to her to marry a man who longed to be with someone else. My cousin deserved to be with a man who wished to give all of his affections.

"Is the food that delightful you won't say a word, Della?" Lady Stratford pulled me into reality. In no time, there were multiple pairs of eyes focussed in on me.

I feared if their eyes stayed on me any longer, they would be able to know my secret.

"Yes actually," I nodded, attempting to lighten her tense stare. Christopher lightly chuckled, and everyone broke into smiles. However Lady Stratford kept her icy stare.

"We must continue to expand your unexperienced palette, little cousin," said a giddy Astrid.

"Indeed," I smiled tight. I realized I would miss seeing her beam a smile the sun itself could be envious of. I would never see it again after she gains knowledge of the truth.

Christopher cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak. Everyone gave their attention, however none of his words hit the air. I could see the contemplation taking place in his mind.

"Did you want to say something, my dear?" Astrid inquired with innocence.

He was hesitant to answer, " . . . Yes may I speak with you in solitude?"

Her wide smile made my heart pound against my chest, "Of course!"

"Excuse us," He gave a nod to their Graces.

Abigail and Lady Stratford watched the two excuse themselves with wide grins. Perhaps they thought she was finally being proposed to! Suddenly the little appetite I had left, vanished. I laid a hand over my stomach.

It was time.

I attempted not to show any sort of sick emotion - even though the feeling poisoned my stomach rapidly. But hadn't I wanted this to happen? After all, Christoper would be telling Astrid that he has affections for me.

He wished to be with me. He fell in love with me. What did I do to deserve such a handsome, amiable man?

I muttered a shaky thank you to the scullery maid as she took my plate away. I felt terrible I could not fully enjoy the meal her Grace planned for us.

"I wonder what they are conversing about," Abigail could barely contain her elation.

"Patience is essential my child," said Lady Stratford. The sly smirk she wore on her face as she rose her glass wine to her lips, made me even more sick. How long would this take? A million different scenarios unfolded in my mind.

"Well I suppose we shall wait for them to return before divulging into the third course?" Her Grace proposed.

"Must we?" Alaina rose a challenging brow. She certainly received a look of disdain from Lady Stratford.

"Oh Alaina dear, you are much too comical," Her Grace giggled pleasantly.

Astrid suddenly appeared in the doorway with a reddened nose, and distraught expression, "We must go. I-I am feeling very ill."

Oh drat. That was too fast!

"Would you like to lie down in one of our chambers my dear?" Concern laced Her Grace's tone.

"Are you sure Astrid? The evening has not yet ended, we are just about to get to dessert," Lady Stratford eyed her sternly.

It would be foolish of me think she only wished to stay for the third course. But it would be rude in her eyes to leave in the middle of a graciously prepared meal.

I pressed my lips together tightly, and kept my eyes trained on my lap.

"Please feel at liberty to use one of our chambers," His Grace affirmed with a single nod.

"Whatever is ailing you, big sister?" Abigail asked. I mustered up the courage to lift my head, and look at Astrid. I almost begged her with pleading eyes to say it. Please say it. Please tell them at once!

The suspense that enveloped the room was driving me mad.

"I . . . I . . . have stomach ache," She looked me directly in the eyes with a chilling stare, "And I wish to go home at this moment."

I had to admit, I admired how she managed to keep her whirling emotions in place. She certainly would not have a fit in front of an audience. No, that would not be ladylike at all. Lady Stratford had trained her well in that aspect.

"Are you sure?" Her Grace placed a hand over her chest.

"Perhaps we shall listen to her wishes Mamma," Christopher's voice sounded behind her, and in he ambled into the room. An expression of guilt washed over him. The only thing that went through my mind was - Did he have regret? Was I worth the storm that was about to overtake us all?

"Very well. Please feel better my Astrid," Her Grace stood from her seat and embraced her. Astrid wrapped her arms around the Duchess, with an absentminded stare. It looked as if she was almost numb.

"Best regards," His Grace bid to us, as we stood from the table. I tried not to make direct contact with anyone. I knew Lady Stratford would scold me for it, but I had something else in store from her later.

"We are very grateful for your hospitality," Uncle George said. An awkward, deadly silence took over the moment as we all walked out of the dining room to the front door. When I walked past Christopher, I felt his hand clamp my wrist. His thumb caressed over my hand discreetly.

I knew I could not smile, nor look up at his face. But in that small secret little gesture, he had cured my fears of doubt. He did still love me.

The carriage ride entailed more haunting silence. Until an impatient Abigail absolutely had to know something before we reached the estate.

"Oh please just tell us what happened! What did Christopher say? Tell me or I assure you I will die!"

Astrid sat as if those words never reached her ears. She wore a hard countenance, as she stared out of the window at the darkened sky.

"Poor little Princess Astrid did not get a proposal from her prince," Alaina teased with crossed arms. I was grateful she sat between us, but I knew what she said had to have stung. But Astrid refused to show it.

It was becoming quite frightening.

"That's enough from the both you. Not another word," Lady Stratford commanded.

My heart began to pound uncontrollably when the carriage stopped in front of Moonriver Estate. When we got inside, Mr. Simon began to take our belongings.

But Astrid flung her cloak violently in his direction, and stalked into the drawing room. She lowered into a squat and loud wails escaped her as she buried her face into her hands. Lady Stratford and the girls ran into the room, immediately kneeling by her side.

"Astrid! Please say something!" I had never seen Lady Stanford so distraught - from anything. I could not force my feet to bring myself any closer to the scene. Abigail guided Astrid back onto her feet.

Every cry that left her mouth, struck a crack in my heart. And soon it would be completely shattered. Uncle George then sauntered into room and planted a kiss on her forehead, "Come see me when you are calm, my daughter."

She nodded obediently, and he left us.

"Astrid speak please," Lady Stratford begged.

"He-he said that I will always have his friendship," She began to calm herself down with heavy breaths, "But . . . s-someone else has his heart."

"Who!" Lady Stratford and Abigail shrieked in unison.

Astrid looked directly at me, with a lethal glare - tears brimming her eyes. After a few moments, all three of them swiveled their heads toward me.

"Cousin tell me it is not true," Abigail was alarmed.

I shook my head, "I promise it is not what you think. Please understa-"

"You little tramp," Lady Stratford seethed.

"I did not mean for this to happen. I-I promise," My voice shook under the intense pressure.

"You mean to ruin my life?!" Astrid hollered, "Are you so jealous of me that it has brought you to this? How dare you betray me. How dare you!"

"You ungrateful child. I took you in from your no good life and this is how you repay me?" Lady Stratford scolded.

"I am so sorry! Please believe me when I tell you I did not intend for any of  this to happen," My lips quivered and soon a stream of tears spilled from my eyes.

"Spare the dramatics, Della. You probably had your own little plan the day you made acquaintances with Christopher," Abigail looked disgusted.

"No not at all!" Were they even hearing me?

"Get out of my sight," Astrid spat. The looks of disgrace that Lady Stratford and Abigail served, penetrated me deeply. However, Alaina stood with a look of shock. She would surely believe me, right?

I laid a hand over my mouth, feeling hot tears roll down my face. I ran up the stairs with haste, letting my sobs tumble down the staircase in an echo. When I neared the top, I tripped over my evening gown, using my hands to break the fall. I crawled up the rest of the stairs, curling myself into a ball when I reached the top.

I quieted my cries and let the tears travel down the bridge of my nose. It was like I was screaming into an empty void. No matter what I said, it wouldn't change what they thought. In this very moment, I have never felt so alone.

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A/N - 😭😭😭

so sorry for the not updating in so long! I've been incredibly busy.

This was a pretty emotional chapter 😭.

Votes/ Comments are much appreciated!

~ KVH