please tell me that klaus guy isn't your baby daddy

my girl hayley:
unfortunately yes

how and why

my girl hayley:
to make a long story short, whiskey + impulsive desires = baby hope

and when can i meet this baby, it's been a good few years since i saw you last

my girl hayley:
i know, i'm really sorry about that. i know that you really wanted to come to the wedding too, but this family comes with a lot more drama than i originally signed up for.

why are you even in New Orleans how did that even happen

my girl hayley:
i went looking for my biological parents...apparently they lived down here

any success?

my girl hayley:
eh, not so much. but it is what it is. i can't change the past.

that doesn't sound very promising :(
i wish i could come and hug you right now and have a wine night like when we were in high school

my girl hayley:
i would love that. if only we could just turn back time, those were the easy days

tell me something i don't know, you just disappeared without a trace doing god knows what while i was stuck in college studying something completely pointless

my girl hayley:
things just got really crazy in my life...and they're still that way. on one hand i've got hope's controlling father who's family is a household name in this city, and then on the other, i've got jackson and his family in the bayou.

the saddest part in this is that i could help you if you'd let me

my girl hayley:
you really don't wanna be involved in this mess lara
i doubt that klaus would even let you step one foot near our kid, he's super protective over her

i want to meet this man or stalk his instagram at least, but he's on private 🙄

my girl hayley:
yeah he requires his entire family to have their accounts set to private
i'm not even allowed to post pics of my daughter

remind me again why you slept with this douchebag
don't get me wrong i'm sure having a beautiful baby makes up for it but seriously hayley

my girl hayley:
I TOLD YOU I WAS TIPSY OKAY

JFC STILL
he is pretty good looking though from his profile picture

my girl hayley:
don't even start lara

i can relate on a spiritual level, was he good in bed

my girl hayley:
LARA

what?! he may be a douchebag but at least tell me he was a good lay

my girl hayley:
alright yeah he was

he looks like the sort

my girl hayley:
now that's enough okay?!

i already hate the guy but hey at least you got something
unlike me
tell me who's better him or jack

my girl hayley:
LARA I WILL DO NOTHING OF THE SORT

OKAY HAYLEY OH MY GOD YOU'D THINK I WAS ASKING YOU TO KILL SOMEONE

my girl hayley:
WELL THIS IS A VERY TOUCHY SUBJECT ALRIGHT
omg the pun

one day marshall i'll turn up at your door and demand an answer in person over wine
i'll get you so drunk you won't even be able to help yourself