"adri, don't you think you should go to bed now?" phil sulked, rolling his eyes as he watched his son shifting his body further so his head could lay down in dan's lap, dan's fingers running through the tangled mess in a fond action.

"what's your problem, i wanna spend time with my papa," adrian complained, and dan only giggled softly, pink splashing on his cheeks at all the attention. this was the last thing he thought would be happening when he took an impulsive decision to come back home on the first flight he could catch. he was expecting ignorance and cold glances, not lunch dates and shopping and an actual cake baked for him.

he still had a dab of blue icing smeared on his left cheek that he was unaware of, and neither phil, nor adrian made him aware of the fact. the reasons for both of them were different, where phil thought dan just looked adorable, adrian was hoping that the icing would leave an annoying blue mark on his papa's cheek when he finally realises that it's there.

"come on, he's my husband too you're not the only one who missed him," phil pouted, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he crossed his arms across his chest and adrian just squinted his eyes at phil before sighing in defeat, getting off dan's lap and pressing his lips against dan's cheek in an affectionate gesture.

"goodnight papa," adrian mumbled and dan ruffled his hair once again before kissing his forehead, and once adrian moved to walk to his own room, phil was calling out his name.

"oi! you brat, where is my goodnight?" phil furrowed his eyebrows and adrian simply stuck his tongue out at him, ignoring his father's words and walking back to his room.

"swear to god this child," phil muttered under his breath as dan giggled, for a moment forgetting how messed up the situation really was and simply relishing in the fact that they could be such a happy family.

the guilt in his chest was now burrowing all the way to his stomach, clawing uncomfortably at his insides and flushing his entire body in an uncomfortable heat that was causing his breathing to get shallower and more rapid with time, the heel of his palms digging into the soft material of the couch as he was trying to retain his grip back onto reality.

he was fading in and out of consciousness, breaths leaving his mouth as soon as he exhaled and he could feel his chest tighten.

"baby? what's wrong?" phil furrowed his eyebrows, getting off the armchair to walk over to dan, whose face was an unhealthy shade of red, his lips parted and his eyes rolled back into his head as he tried to catch his breath.

"dan! what's wrong, are you okay?" and as soon as phil sat down next to him and pushed a tuft of curly hair off dan's forehead, dan was falling limp against him, the slightly scratchy material of phil's jumper somehow rubbing comfort onto his cheeks and phil wound an arm tightly around dan's shoulders, leaving a small kiss on the top of his head and rubbing his back.

his fists clenched around phil's sweater, his head burying further into phil's chest, and he forced his body closer to phil just to keep the feeling of safety above all his thoughts. when phil turned around in his position and pulled dan impossibly close, dan could swear he had forgotten every single mistake he's ever made.

all the arguments, all the misunderstandings, all the fights were dissipating with every breath through his nose. every time phil kissed him, every time phil touched him, every time phil made him feel loved was replacing his every thought, the air that was once transparent and bare around him was now ample and splashed with hues of hope.

"phil," dan breathed, getting over the sudden panic attack and nuzzling his face in the crook of phil's neck just so the reality can leave him for a while and let him breathe in the complete utter denial.

"baby," phil mumbled, pressing a soft kiss against dan's cheek. "what's wrong with you? what happened? you scared the shit out of me," phil rested his chin on the soft nest of brown that was dan's hair, his grip tightening around dan as he sighed out of relief.

when he looked back down expectantly to find an answer to his question, his expression faded into a small smile as he watched the way dan had fallen asleep, the beat of his heart was steady and regulated against phil's own, and phil shifted down the couch so he could lay properly, letting dan stay on top of him.

"god i love you,"

--

i just watched "a dog's purpose" and this was the first time that i've cried throughout the whole fucking movie ohmygod im