"what?" the soft blush on pj's cheeks is deepening every second he replays the statement in his mind, his stomach churning with both nervousness and excitement.

"i don't know, maybe we should-i don't know, will you come or not?" phil rambles irrationally and pj just licks his lips, before getting off the barstool, and raising his pinky up in the air.

"can i, um, i need a bathroom break," he squeaks and phil just shakes his head before laughing softly at the gesture.

"go ahead," phil raises his finger up to the barman, indicating that he may want another drink, and soon enough another glass is slid towards him, the brown liquid almost begging phil to not drink it because he knows he won't be able to handle anymore.

phil has stopped thinking anyway, so he just shrugs dismissively before gulping down the drink, his throat wanting to burn but failing because it seems like his whole body has gone completely numb.

he knows if he waits anymore the alcohol will intensify it's effect and there will be no way he can drive, so he quickly slaps some pounds on the wooden bar and stumbles out as quickly as possible, the chilly air nipping at his skin unforgivingly as he makes his way to his car, unlocking it and slumping against the leather harshly.

the apartment is barely ten minutes away from where he is, and he turns on the car, making sure to not press down on the pedal too hard and drive slow and steady because even though he wouldn't mind being in a car crash, adrian probably would.

as soon as the reminder of adrian pops in his mind his fingers tighten around the steering and he slurs curses under his breath.

was he really going to cheat on dan after all they've been through? it was just a stupid fucking fight and they would get over it, like they always do. dan would have a reason as to why chris was lingering by his side at every given moment and phil will try to understand and everything will be okay.

everything will be okay.

phil doesn't even realise when he's home, quickly pulling into the driveway and parking his car, sitting inside the vehicle for a while to calm himself down as he presses his cold fingertips against his scalp to push the choppy mess of hair off his forehead.

five minutes later he's turning the lock and walking inside the apartment, his ears perking at the sound of the television mumbling incoherent things and he is just taking off his shoes messily before adrian arrives in the hallway, his eyebrows furrowed and a small scowl on his face.

"why did you drink again?" adrian's voice was accusing as he crossed his arms across his small frame and phil bit his lip in reluctance, stumbling over to the little boy and dropping down on his knees.

"i'm sorry," phil's words are slurred, and adrian reaches up to push some hair off phil's forehead before wrapping his arms tightly around his father's neck, burying his face in his shoulder.

"i don't know what's bothering you, but drinking won't make it any better," adrian mumbles and phil sighs, rubbing along his back comfortingly. "talk to me if you want but please stop drinking,"

"hey," phil pulls back, running his fingers affectionately through adrian's wavy hair and grabbing both his cheeks in his cold hands. "i promise i won't, this is the last time you're seeing me like this,"

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sorry if this was a little rushed i'll make it better next time :)