It's been long since I was young,
Staring into the distance,
I quietly listen,
To the voices surrounding me.
Cheer and laughter fill the room,
No trace of impending gloom,
Nor the stress that struck a mess.

Playing in the field with my closest friends,
Extroverted and carefree,
Thinking youth is boring,
When will I grow up?
Asking God with imploring eyes,
The adult life seems so enticing,
No studies, just freedom.

Oh, how wrong I was,
Waited for this moment so long.
Now grown up and out of luck,
I remember those old days,
Which cannot be turned back.
The past remains the past,
Letting memories long last.

Trying to survive bad influences and life in general,
Winning is the main goal,
Yet emotions are the real mole.
Losing friends, talking less,
Bursting with social anxiety,
Not making eye contact,
Hating social gatherings,
This new identity is baring.

Once cheery and bright,
Now overshadowing the light within me.
Awkward, introverted, and edgy,
Became my daily companions,
But for some, it was a new trend.

Still struggling to survive,
Fighting for my own life.
To others, I seem unsmart and rude,
But I know the real truth.
I am not weird nor weak,
I will prove myself,
Standing on my feet.

Still remembering the old days,
Feeling a pang of sadness,
Wishing I could turn back time,
And solve this riddle.
All adult, glam, and couth,
But my heart remains empty,
For I am missing my youth.

-x-