Chapter 95
Ray's POV - 2 Nights Later
I sit down in Cameron's office and I sit back as Missy jumps up next to me as Cameron watches me.
"Now, I assume, you haven't talked to Aizawa yet?" Cameron asks me.
"No." I pout slightly as I look away.
"One of you has to be the bigger person, this can not go on forever, it is unhealthy and it will heavily strain your family relationship and you student-teacher relationship." Cameron says to me seriously. "So I'm taking matters into my own hands to help you and I'm calling in Aizawa, but only, if, your comfortable with that and your not gonna freak out." Cameron says more carefully as I squint my eyes at him.
I go to say something rude, but I bite my tongue.
"It's a safe space, you can say whatever you want." Cameron reminds me.
"I don't, want, to be rude though, I'm trying to fix that." I say, a little stiff since I don't necessarily like that.
"And it's good your trying to fix your rude remarking, but you can say anything here, that's why therapy exists, so you can talk freely without consequence and you can work out issues." Cameron says to me.
I scratch Missy's head as she lays in my lap as I rest my chin on my hand. "Yeah, but still. I'm becoming, too, nice, so it's still difficult." I say to Cameron. "However, my Father, pulls these pissy stunts every once in a while too, where he gets pissy at me, and pissy at my class and tends to pull stunts like what happened to me recently with him ignoring me. It doesn't happen often, but there's been an investigation about a League of Villains Member that got captured by the heros and is now in detainment and being questioned. I'm not the nicest person on the planet, so I get on people's nerves, quite easily, I piss people off on purpose. I didn't do anything this time though, to piss him off. Not that I recall at least. So the fact that he was getting pissy at me for trying to defend my self respect in several ways, does not seem fair on my end." I say to Cameron who nods. "I'm upset at him for that, because I have had enough, of not being heard. The situation I was in, was very frustrating for me, because I'm used to being able to talk people down and stop insulting me now, but it wasn't working and the truth of the situation was never fully displayed, and because of what happened, my reputation for worse, I am not aloud to do anything wrong or make some sort of mistake anymore, because it gets displayed and I get scolded. My accomplishments are rarely ever brought to the light. Like the fact that I had tried talking to Matthew several times to get him to stop, that was never talked about, but when I attacked him as a last resort to get him to quit, that was broadcast all over the school. When I decided to get therapy, I kept it a secret and only a select few knew about it, that few was my family and my boyfriend, I mentioned it in class once, and I didn't get any sort of praise for it, instead, one of my classmates decided they were going to put it on social media, and I got a lot of bad attention for it. Which is exactly what I wanted to avoid. Everything I do has a consequence and that's been painfully clear these past few months, and it's frustrating when the truth of what happens gets warped." I say to Cameron as I stare at the wall, just frustrated about that situation. "Students who would normally flock me and try and talk to me, now stay far away, and I don't like that, as much as I hate attention, I don't want people to be scared of me. I want to protect people, not make them fear me." I say to Cameron as I frown slightly, the thought of scaring people is slightly upsetting.
"Are you comfortable talking to your father in this safe space? Because it seems like that needs to be done soon." Cameron says to me.
"I'm not comfortable talking to him period, I didn't like talking to him about anything before, I already have issues talking about my issues, after that last incident, it reinforced those issues and I really don't want to talk about it with him." I say to Cameron. "It's too difficult. Especially after how I was treated. He may be sincere about feeling sorry about what happened and he may want to fix things, but I do not trust him about that. I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells, I can't win no matter what I do. 'Cause let's say we do talk through things and it gets fixed, then another incident happens and he gets pissy at me again and reinforces my trust issues, and then we're back at square one. These problems always happen to me, I don't understand why it happens to me, but in one event or another, I get in trouble and I'm in the hot seat, I'm always being criticized for any mistake I make, it's not fun, when I decided I was going to be a hero, I didn't realize I was signing up for all this bullshit." I say to Cameron and Missy sits up and moves more into my lap.
Cameron nods. "Therapy is difficult though, Ray. You have issues and they need to be talked about and you need to learn how to cope with them in a healthy way. Talking in a safe space is one of the best things you could be doing and you are doing that. And I know for a fact that there are at least 2 people proud of you for that." Cameron says to me.
I look at him confused for a moment. "Who?" I ask.
"Your boyfriend, and your brother. Those two seem to be your biggest supporters from how you've talked about them." Cameron says to me and I smile slightly at the thought of Izu and Katsu.
"Yeah, they've been trying to help with this situation as well." I say as I continue to scratch Missy's head.
I think for a moment and I vocalize the pros and cons of talking with Dad and Cameron nods along.
I sigh as I stare at the wall. "Alright." I agree to Cameron and he nods with a smile.
"The pros seem to be outweighing the cons. Alright, then I will get Aizawa in here." Cameron says as he gets up.
I watch Cameron leave and I text Katsu about this. Katsu just tells me to keep my head up, and that when I get back, he has a surprise for me.
Eventually Cameron comes back in with Dad and I watch carefully.
"Alright. Ray, how would you like to start this?" Cameron asks as Dad sits in a chair.
I stare Cameron for a moment. "What?" I ask.
"You two need to talk about what happened. Where would you like to start?" Cameron asks me.
Dad just watches between us. "Ray-"
"No." I stop Dad and he looks surprised. "Before you continue with apologizing or saying something that may end up pissing me off, we start with how this whole thing frustrated me and why I've been upset at you. That way, maybe we can avoid this in the future. Cause as soon as you start an apology or something, that's the end of the conversation. Cause your apologizing before you even know the full extent." I say to Dad and the two adults look at me surprised.
"Good." Cameron says to me with a smile. "Your getting better as being more direct without being rude." Cameron says to me.
Dad nods. "Ok. I suppose that may be a good idea." Dad says to me.
I stare at Dad for a moment, picking my starter. "Ok. Where would you like me to start? The fact that you dismissed everything I said and never revealed the whole truth which frustrated me to no end, or the fact that I can not trust you because of the recent incident?" I ask Dad and he looks slightly pained by that second option.
Cameron watches between us and I start to get slightly ancy since Dad isn't answering.
Cameron glances at me and he frowns slightly. "Let's start with how this affected the both of you." Cameron says to me and I nod. "Ray, how did this situation directly affect you?" Cameron asks me.
"It reinforced my trust issues. I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells when I talk to you, because I don't know how your going to react." I say to Dad who looks slightly more pained by that. "I'm still upset over the fact that my issues were over looked so fast every time they appeared. I was looking for you to resolve those issues because you were the adult in the room and your my Dad." I say to Dad as I cross my legs as I sit more upright on the couch while Missy sits up, waiting for me to be done.
Dad is still quiet as I explain how this affected me and how I know it wasn't directly his fault, it still hurt regardless.
Cameron glances at his phone and he glances at me. "It's 11." Cameron says to me carefully.
Dad continues to be quiet and I think for a moment since I'm at the verge of a panic attack if he doesn't talk soon.
Missy sits up and she gets off the couch while I watch her, she sits in front of me and puts her head on my lap. "I should probably be going. Katsu said he had something planned. And frankly, I'm very uncomfortable with the silence." I say to Cameron.
"We can pick this up another day." Cameron says to me and I nod. "Make sure you get some rest, you look like you need it." Cameron says to me and I nod.
"Have a good night." I say and I leave.
I take Missy on a walk as I try to breath.
Missy starts running, so I run to keep up with her.
"What are you doing Missy?" I ask her as we run. She just runs, for about half an hour, and then we stop at the dorm house.
I kneel next to Missy to make sure she's ok, she just gives me a dog kiss and I smile slightly. "You did that to get me to breath. Very smart." I say to her and she tries to kiss me again which makes me smile.
I take her upstairs to my room and I don't see anyone.
I take off Missy's harness and she shakes her fur. My waist get's hugged as I'm thinking quietly. I look up to see Katsu and he looks concerned. "Hey." I say softly.
"I was talking to Aizawa, he wanted to know if you were ok. He said you were barely hiding the fact you were about to have a panic attack." Katsu says to me.
I get quiet for a moment. "Dad was very quiet when I was explaining how the recent event hurt me, and how I can't trust him at the moment and it was making me panic because usually I get a response from Dad, but he wasn't talking." I say to Katsu who nods and he holds me in his arms as I relax against his chest.
"Are you hungry?" Katsu asks me softly, changing the subject.
I nod. "Only a little." I say softly and Katsu takes my hand and Missy follows us down to the Kitchen.
Katsu makes me fried rice and I smile as I watch him.
"You two are usually holed up in a room this late. Why are you guys up?" Kiri asks confused.
"She's hungry." Katsu says as he points to me while I just watch Katsu with a smile.
Kiri nods. "You got back late from your therapy session." Kiri says to me worried.
"The session has me kinda rocky right now. I had to talk to Dad about the recent events, it's kinda stressful." I say and Kiri nods and he hugs me tightly as he talks to Katsu.
I relax as I hug Kiri.
"Ray protection squad, activate." Mina says as the BakuSquad surrounds me.
"You guys are still awake?" I ask surprised.
"Yeah. I was giving Kami a makeover." Mina says with a grin.
"I look fabulous." Denki says as he shows off his makeover.
I smile slightly and Katsu hands me a bowl of fried rice. Everyone sits in the lounge as I eat quietly while I'm stuffed between Kiri and Katsu.
"Good luck at your test tomorrow Bakugou." Mina says to Katsu.
"He'll be fine." I say and Katsu snorts.
"Damn right." Katsu says to them in a grumble.
I hold Katsu's hand as everyone talks about his test.
"Ray, are you gonna go watch?" Denki asks me.
"No." Me and Katsu say at the same time. "I have to be at the Endeavor Agency for a case tomorrow. There's a crime unit at work in downtown Kurashiki. Besides, I have complete faith in Katsu that he'll crush this test this time." I say and everyone except Katsu nods.
I finish my rice as Katsu goes feral on his group.
"GO. TO. BED!" Ida yells as he races through the dorm house.
Katsu grumbles, but he takes me to the kitchen and I take the rest of the fried rice. Katsu kisses my forehead gently as he hugs me around my shoulders. "I assume you like it?" Katsu asks me softly.
I nod. "It tastes amazing." I say to Katsu who smirks.
We go to Katsu's room and Eve greets Missy and the two lay down in Missy's Dog bed.
We watch the Golden Girls as I finish the fried rice.
"I'm proud of you." Katsu whispers softly as he holds me.
"What?" I ask confused.
"Your trying to be the bigger person and resolve your issues. I'm proud of you." Katsu says to me.
I kiss his cheek gently and he holds me and I hug him tightly. "That actually means a lot more to me than you think." I whisper as I hug Katsu who just rubs my back gently.
"We should get some rest. We have a long day tomorrow." Katsu whispers.
I nod and Katsu puts my empty bowl down and he holds me as he lays down.
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