"-and then Will asked me if I wanted a whole harem!" I tell Megan and Evan, who are sitting on either side of me, when we've got some time to ourselves in the Veins. We're in another of our 'training sessions', the last one before we get back to school, and despite Anthem's constant ominous pacing in the background and our lack of recent missions, things are going great.

Megan's in hysterics. I can feel her chest convulse against my side, which makes me feel lighter. Evan asks, "What did you tell him?"

"I blew it off." I say. "Hey. Have you two told anyone?"
Megan shakes her head. "Not yet."

"No one to tell." Evan agrees.

"What am I going to do when he asks?"

"Tell him." Evan suggests.

I throw my head back towards the ceiling. "Are you kidding? My family thinks I'm the straightest man to ever walk the earth. I don't know what they'd think of me. I don't even know if I've processed it yet."

"What's the big deal?" Evan asks. "From what I've heard of your family, they're not like that. Sure, nothing you've said has been positive, but they're not going to kick you out of the house."
Megan leans over me. "That doesn't mean he can't be scared. Before I told my family, I was petrified of explaining that I liked girls. We might be a family of nerds, but my parents are still at least a little conservative. I'm on the fence about this. I know they'll love me no matter who I am or who I'm into, but... it's scary, Evan."

"Screw them, then." Evan scoffs again, crossing his arms like he has any legitimate reason to be angry at us, and he falls against me, the world's cuddliest ball of rage.

I think about Will for a while, trying to think of the right way to wedge them into casual conversation, and I come to the conclusion that my pride is going to drag me down to hell with it. I can imagine him laughing at me, or being confused, or any number of things but shrugging it off, and I can't tolerate any of them- would he tell our parents? I don't think I've ever been on this side of our relationship before, or any part of it where he had legitimate power over me, and I almost regret teasing him. Would he out me for teasing him?

"Someone please come up with something to talk about." I say, which comes out way too loud and desperate, but I digress.

Evan shrugs. He's still slumped about halfway down my chest, in a maneuver that defies gravity, but he looks comfy enough.

"Okay. Do you ever get scared that this is all part of the Diosite?" Megan asks. "That we'll never feel like this again, or that we'll fight and there won't be anything to hold us together, or that it will all be... some long dream, when we're done? I've been up all night, several times, scared about it."

"That's not better, Meg." I say, my voice far rougher than I had intended, Affectionately, I add, "You worry too much." reaching out so I can get my arm all the way around her tense far shoulder. I manage to pat her a few times with the tips of my fingers.

"This is the most real thing that has ever happened to me." Evan whispers.

We've gone from uncomfortable silence to uncomfortable silence with additional unresolved tension. This is the opposite of an improvement. I think Anthem is staring through the couch at the back of my neck.

"Alright, team. Let's get back to work."

---

"Hey, Harper."

Harper's face pops up over my desktop monitor. She flashes me a wide grin. Through the pixelated, lagging background I make out a gold room with plants and various awards hanging on the walls, along with white shelves that rise like skyscrapers almost all the way to the ceiling.

"Status update?" I ask.

"Break ends tomorrow. I'm going to have to move everything back in again. What a drag." she says. "Thanks for contacting me, though! I'm glad Megan gave you my contact information. Status update over there?"

"We're at five." I tell her, holding up a full hand.

"Out of fourty-seven?"

I inhale quickly, steepling my hands. "We'll get there. How's break treating you?"

"Great! I got to talk to some people from my old school, before I transferred, and I told my parents all about you guys. It's nice to have some friends to brag about, although I haven't mentioned that you don't go to my school yet." Cheerily, she adds, "Nor will I ever!"

"Can't you just... hang out with people?" I ask. "Just people. You don't need to be crazy about them, it'll work out."

"I thought I was doing alright with that, but I wasn't informed that you had to make eye contact or not read books during conversation, both of which strike me as unfair."

"I can see why you and Megan have had a lot to talk about."

She laughs, which sounds like it's coming from underwater due to the low audio quality.

"So. How's Serena?"

"Great," I mumble.

"That's not what she said. She wants to talk to you one-on-one tomorrow before class starts."

"Ominous," I say. "Can you just tell me what she wants?"

"She didn't tell me either, but she sounded upset. Are you holding up over there?"

"Yes. We are, but it'll be better when we have you back."
"Aw. See you soon!"

"See you," I say, clicking out of the video call. I shut my laptop with a long exhale, pretending I don't know what's about to happen. I lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and look to the empty bed beside me. The red stone is clenched in my hand. Nights like this, I think I can feel it breathing. It distracts me from the phantom sensation of metal splintering my bones.

---

Will is ignoring me the next day. We walk to school in silence, our breath freezing in the January air, the sky vast and gray overhead. It looks like a giant woolen sweater. After almost stumbling over a sidewalk crack, I decide to keep my eyes on the road, but the ground is just as bleak as they sky overhead. My brother keeps his hands in his pockets. He's not wearing his hat, and his messy blonde hair makes him look disheveled, even vulnerable.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"I'm half asleep," Will yawns and wipes his eyes. "Sorry."

"It's fine." I say, approaching the double doors. Hot air flows over us both as we step into the building, which even at this hour is full of light and noise. "Talk to you after school?"

"Sure," Will stumbles down the hallway, passing the cafeteria.

I watch him go, biting my tongue, and turn into the door he ignored. The cafeteria is also affectionately called the 'holding pen' in the morning, since there's almost nowhere else to be and half the time the administrators won't let you leave. It's full of bored teenagers who aren't awake yet and the scent of mediocre school breakfasts, which is as miserable as it sounds.

Serena is sitting with her hands crossed at a table near the edge, which has windows to the outside. I slide down next to her. "Good to be back, isn't it?"

"Adam." she says, though she's looking ahead instead of at me. "I've been thinking-"

"That's always dangerous." I mutter.

She whips around to face me, disgusted. "Fine. I'll spit it out. I can't do this."

"Is it the mission? I'll talk with Evan. I know he can be abrasive, but you two have truced before. I-"

"It's not just that, Adam. It's everything. The stress, the constant barrage of insults, her, the sleepless nights, all of this trailing me wherever I go. I'm not helping, I hold missions back, and this is going to kill me before we end it. I'm done."

"Ser-" I say.

"That's not my name." she says, getting to her feet. "Goodbye, Adam."

Let her go. I want to believe I feel Anthem's invisible grip holding me back, if only as an explanation for the dumbness that seizes me, but regardless, I say nothing and watch as she strides past the administrators and out of the cafeteria, her blond sheet of hair billowing around her as she takes the halls.

---

Evan comes back from our latest mission looking like he went through a paper shredder, and we don't question him when he says no one will ask questions. Megan looks at the two Diosite shards, hands them to Anthem, who takes them in her mouth. "Good job," Megan translates from telepathy, "We're still on schedule."

Evan thrusts a hand upwards. "Good enough. I'll come in at four AM tomorrow-"

Harper, newly returned to the squad, looks over her notes. "There should be two of them there. I don't feel safe letting you do that on your own."

"Screw it, I'll come in." I say. "Evan, no doing dumb shit by yourself. You're already pushing the limits here."

"I've got a test tomorrow." Megan says, tensing up.

"That's fine. I mean, me too, but that's fine." I slump into the chair. I hate getting blood on the furniture, but getting blood on magical furniture is less of a problem. Furthermore, I'm exhausted and couldn't care less anyways.

"This is a lot for four people to take on." Harper says. "Are we sure we can keep this up?"

"One, yes. Two, I need to go. Now." Evan shoots me finger guns. "See you tomorrow."

When he's gone, I sink further into the chair with a soft groan as my back lights up with pain. Having a robot thrown at you by another robot is painful. I would not advise it to anyone who values their health.

"We can't win like this," I say. "We need to make up with her."

"I wouldn't count Serena out yet." Anthem tells us, gold eyes gleaming. Her stoic face betrays no emotion, but there's an underlying force to every word.

"She might come back," Harper says. "You never know."

"True. You two be safe tomorrow." Megan says, looking thoroughly abashed about the whole ordeal.

"Meg. Chill." I smile, and she tilts her head and fixes me with a teasing look. I blow her a kiss on the way out, and she catches it. Go for it next time, Rosenbloom. For real. On a whim, I go out into the Veins instead of home, keen on wandering to get this all out of my mind.

WE WERE HERE is scrawled into the walls, which have scarred like ruptured flesh. Evan...

When I go home, Will is quiet as usual and Serena still isn't answering my texts. I feel sick at the idea of having to fall asleep at ten tonight, maybe even earlier, and I have projects I haven't even started on top of that test. It's not that I've been procrastinating, rather that school and my missions have ramped up at the same time, but who am I kidding, when I do have the time I text Megan and Evan all night. I'm already thinking about them and I just left.

I look over at Will, who looks back from his homework and waves. "Ground control to Major Tom," he says, "Paging Major Tom."

I roll over into my pillow and say into it, loud as I can manage, "I am out of control of my own life."

"What?" Will asks.

"Nothing," I clarify, drawing the pillow back. "I have a lot of homework."

"Same," Will says, and we return to our mutual realms of solitude. I find myself longing for a springboard for all of my problems, and there sits the springboard, out of reach, and here I sit, being a miserable coward.

One hell of a way to start the new year: with the world as you know it falling apart.