•√•

World looked so grey through Yeonjun's curious eyes.

With fists clenched tightly around Beomgyu's pale wrists, he let out the most frustrated sigh of his life. Maybe there was a bit of sorrow lying deep inside it when his gaze wavered, a trickle of tear brushed the corner of his pupils and a sudden knot formed inside his throat when he finally realized the horrible truth.

That his mother certainly was not going to come back anymore. Not even aunt Sol.

Why, how, when- those three questions rose in his mind with no valuable answers to seek from anyone. Yeonjun looked into Beomgyu's eyes, finding the younger one stare with all the puzzle inside his gaze, and the red on his thin lips glistened like a sphere on a texture of soft pink.

"Beomgyu..." Yeonjun stuttered while looking at him, and tears started sprawling like an waterfall without even trying. "I don't think they are going to come back anymore."

And the world only turned more grey from then.

*

"Yeonjun! You'll be late for school, get ready faster!"

Sunjae called his son from the breakfast table, busily putting the last dressing of chicken on the toasted bread and also checking the mails got from last night all at once. The door upstairs was flung open, revealing Yeonjun in his navy blue sweater with white shirts and pants, socks hastily pulled upward, tie thrown above his left shoulder.

"Eh, Yeonjun! Don't wear your tie like that." Sunjae sighed at his son while reaching forward, as the boy jumped down several stairs at once to leap on one of the chairs. "Do it like this. Take the upper front first then make a loop..."

"Father! I can't be late! We have to pick Beomgyu too, remember?" Yeonjun spoke excitedly while chewing his bread, his eyes large and blinking fast. Sunjae smiled down at his son as his heart fluttered in warmth.

"If then, you should have got up sooner!" he hit Yeonjun's head playfully as the boy narrowed his eyes, throwing a hot look at his father.

"It's not my fault if the alarm ringtone is Illit's Magnetic! I just can't help listening to it, so-"

"I'm gonna change it today." Sunjae pointed his finger threateningly. "Now, be faster!"

Their breakfast ended in a short time. Yeonjun was ten years old then, so he also helped his father to arrange the table and wash the dishes, then he grabbed his school bag and jumped out of the house, literally. Sunjae was behind him, fetching the keys from side table and locking the door.

It was Yeonjun's first day of school, So was Beomgyu's.

At the age of ten. Old, yes. Well, not having a mother and having cranky blood relatives definitely had its sparks; people were kind enough to show condolence to the orphan boys but never took a step forward to reach out their hands in aid.

Through Yeonjun's eyes, the world he spotted around himself after the departure of his mother was already grey, but never did he know grey had this much shades.

Yeonjun was six that time.

He did not know why suddenly, one day, his father stopped going to work and instead focused on the house fully. When the children of his age were swinging their bags and heading toward school, Yeonjun was playing inside the garden with soil, and listening to the old cassette tuned on by his dad in the kitchen.

It always reminded of his mother.

And gave him the strength to move on.

Sunjae held his son's hands on his chest in a grey afternoon of May, when the clouds were usually angry and used to burst into tears at the near of evening.

"Yeonjun, if I delay sending you to school for now, will you be angry at me?"

Yeonjun could not spot the stars in his father's gaze, so he replied in confusion. "Why, dad?"

Sunjae took some time to respond. He fiddled with his shirt and took a deep breath, gulping silently as his eyes found his son's monolid charcoal ones.

"Because I want to teach you myself." he spoke slowly, in a tender voice. "Right now, you shouldn't be collapsing under the weight of dry books, and instead learn about the flowers with your own hands."

"But if you skip some years and then go to school, you'll feel a lot free to wander around and pick things from here and there. The thing is, Yeonjun, I don't want anything to stress you."

Though Yeonjun was little, he could understand how much he meant to his father by those words, and it made him feel so home.

When the rain started coming inside the room, Sunjae closed the window and got up from the bed to turn on the lights. He sat down again, now more comfortable.

"Yeonjun, you have a soul of fairies, you know? At this age, you're free to flap your wings and get lost in your ways, see how beautiful the world is and learn from the surroundings. From now on, I want you to have a dream of yourself, so your soft heart isn't pressured by the weight of this world. You need to fight for it, and keep holding onto that dream. Nourish it, care it, and love it. Okay?"

A dream of yourself.

Yeonjun nodded excitedly. "Okay!"

Those words echoed rapidly inside his mind. He tried to find a dream that was his, but at that moment, he found nothing.

"Don't worry, Yeonjun. That's why I'm here for." as if Sunjae could read his son's mind, he smiled. "I will try to show you the path to your passion and dream. So that you can walk along it."

And Yeonjun agreed whole heartedly.

Four years, he was homeschooled by his father. Four years, when other children were under pressure of reading large, spooky books, Yeonjun was learning about the numerous flowers inside their garden. He learnt with soil, when others learnt with toys and clays. He talked with butterflies, when others ignored them on their way to school.

Life is always about learning from the outside world, which he got to have for his father.

And on their way from the park, or the aquarium, or the nursery gardens, Sunjae would always stop at the hilltop away from the main town. It was a secluded area, one would not know if they were not aware of it.

Beside a large lake, there were two graves, surrounded by tall catkins, under the cold breeze that always blew. Two sticks with white, broken fairy wings attached on top were stuck on the soil, beside the concrete epitaphs.

Sunjae would take a sit beside the grave of Yuri, and exhale a sigh. Yeonjun, sitting beside his dad, would pluck a dandelion from the pretty bushes grown around the graves.

The dandelions were always in a perfect shape. He wanted to put one around Beomgyu's ears.

"Yuri, how are you?" Sunjae looked at the grave as wind blew against his face, moving the brown strands away. "Life's been good lately. Yeonjun learned today how to differentiate sour lemons from juicy ones despite both of them being green. Kinda... funny, right?" he glanced at Yeonjun, muffling a laugh. "I'm teaching our son to become housewife one day."

The silence that welcomed them was peaceful.

"Momma, do you know? If you add beet salt in spice, it lessens down the spiciness!" Yeonjun spoke cheerfully at his mother. "I tried to make mango juice yesterday night, it tasted too spicy, so dad added some beet salt. And it tasted great!"

Sunjae laughed at his son. 

"And what else does Yeonjun have to say to his momma?"

"Many things!" Yeonjun replied earnestly. "I met with Beomgyu yesterday! At the park. We could not play, because uncle Jaehyun said he didn't have time to wait. Well, Beomgyu looked kinda pale to me. I don't think he's eating good enough."

Sunjae looked at his son's sad eyes, feeling his own heart clench by the sight.

"Don't worry, Yuri." he turned to the grave again and spoke with a hopeful gaze. "I will try my best to take care of Beomgyu, too. Jaehyun doesn't take care of him, but I will. He's like my own son."

Yeonjun huddled closer to his dad and nodded. His heart gave a funny flip as Beomgyu's happy face flashed in front of his eyes.

"We will make sure Beomgyu eats well from now on. We promise, momma!"

Though Yuri never replied, Yeonjun knew she was listening, always.

*

"Yeonjun hyung! You're here!"

Yeonjun felt tiny arms wrapping around his neck, more like glued- as the younger boy jumped on him and snuggled his face in his neck. His eyes went wide- shocked- and when he looked at the giggling boy his heart... raced.

There was Beomgyu; stars over his gaze, stars over his lips. Stars everywhere. A sprinkle of fairy dust and pink jewels coated on his squishy cheeks. And drops of sweat that glistened on his bare forehead.

With the same uniform, Beomgyu looked absolutely breathtaking to Yeonjun, making his brain stop functioning for a moment.

He did not want to pay attention to the tinkling sensation inside his chest, so he looked away, color flashing on his cheeks. "Beomgyu, did you have breakfast?"

"Y-yes." Beomgyu turned into a pink cottonball. "Well, I'm ready, let's go!" he took Yeonjun's hands and started running forward, the gentle breeze of summer welcoming their curly hair.

"It's a car! Hyung, you have a car?" Beomgyu pointed at the white car standing before them. Breaking off from trance, Yeonjun rubbed his eyes and mumbled, "Yes-"

"You never told me!"

"We don't use it much. Prefer walking." Sunjae glanced at his stunned son staring at Beomgyu, then chuckled to himself. "So, let's go then!"

"First, I need to see mamma!" Beomgyu held the car's door, pouting. "I promised her that I would visit her when I go to school for the first time!"

Yeonjun felt his heart clench, but nodded somehow. He also remembered his mother.

The ride to their graves was silent, yet peaceful. On the way, they saw large bushes of catkins and daisies. The snow white, pearl white and swan white were so evident to their eyes and made the two boys giggle excitedly.

After ten minutes, they finally reached the place. Sunjae had plucked some orchids on the way there, from an old flower shop. Two bouquets were held in the boys' hands as they stood in front of their mothers' graves.

Beomgyu was the first to put the flowers on Sol's one.

Kneeling down, he pressed his little palms on the soft soil, patting the ground softly, trying to feel his mother's heartbeats. "Mamma, Beomgyu is going to school today!"

Watching the younger boy with a tiny smile bloomed on his lips, Yeonjun also put down the flowers on Yuri's grave. He swallowed, not finding any words to say.

Painful.

"Well, father could not stay until the time, so uncle Sunjae and Yeonjun is taking me instead. I'm more happy for that! They even have a car, you know Mamma?" Beomgyu curled his fists and burst into giggles. "A big, white car!"

Pondering into the silence, Beomgyu spoke again. "But I'm sad about something, mamma. You always said you would accompany to the first day of my school, but you're not here anymore. I miss you."

In no time, a drop of tear escaped his eyes, "Mamma, can't you come back?"

Yeonjun immediately rushed to the younger boy, holding him tightly in his arms.

"Beomie." he whispered, so gently that Beomgyu went to clutch his shirt while sobbing. "Aunt Sol isn't here anymore, but I am. I will accompany you. No need to cry, okay?"

Yeonjun knew he couldn't let Beomgyu cry. It was an everlasting instinct. The sense of caring toward the younger boy was always in his veins. From the moment they met, he knew. Maybe the universe had not let him realize it beforehand, but it was okay.

His little mind still had not crumbled down because the world had Beomgyu.

*

After the whole, tiring day of school, the boys finally settled down inside Beomgyu's room.

The boy dumped all the building blocks, various shapes of circle, square and triangles on the floor as Yeonjun curiously stared. His eyes got lost in the scar left on the younger boy's cheek, which glistened like a scratch of charcoal on snow white paper.

"Hyung! Let's play!"

"Beomgyu, we have been playing with these blocks for ages."

"Eh." Beomgyu rubbed his nape cutely while looking around the room. They were currently sitting on the floor, where a toy horse lied upside down at the foot of the bed.

"Let's play with that!" Beomgyu suddenly pointed at the shelf, and Yeonjun looked upward, to spot a small dollhouse there. The younger boy got up and took it down with his little palms. He sat down and started wiping off the dust.

"It's a bit worn out, but still good. The corners are a bit smashed, but-- better than my house anyway." Beomgyu opened the dollhouse while blabbing. "Have you ever played with one, Hyung?"

"Nope. I thought only girls play with this."

"No gender discrimination!"

"Aish, okay."

The dollhouse looked absolutely pretty to Yeonjun. It had a pink roof with indigo windows, a small lawn, and even a lamppost! He excitedly joined Beomgyu, arranging the tiny furnitures one by one inside the house.

The little bed was put upstairs, which also had a balcony. They put a lamp, a table and a wardrobe, too; completed with setting up the dining table downstairs and putting a television. A fridge was also given its spot. Beomgyu argued whether they should keep the old, one corner broken sofa, but Yeonjun insisted old is forever gold.

"Done!" Beomgyu clapped his hands merrily, pleased by the whole outcome. "But I don't have any figures to play with."

"No figures! Then what's the point of having a house?" Yeonjun could not believe what he had heard. "You sure, Beomgyu? Not a single one?"

"Nope." Beomgyu answered flatly.

Yeonjun gave him a judging look.

"Look, I have been searching for a doll, but there's a problem." Beomgyu retorted. "A doll always gets lost, so I need to get a permanent solution. Which is... a fairy!"

"Fairy?" Yeonjun laughed. "As if they can fall from the sky-"

"My mom said there is a fairy!" Beomgyu crushed his palms flat on the hard floor, jumpscaring Yeonjun. "A fairy! If I pray hard, God will grant me a fairy to keep inside this dollhouse. I'm sure of it!"

What bullshit was Beomgyu telling him, Yeonjun did not know. But hey, at least he got to hear his sweet, tiny voice.

"I will describe what that fairy looks like." Beomgyu, unintendedly, started gathering the building blocks under his hand, his tone serious. "Listen, Yeonjun Hyung."

As he spoke, moments past. Yeonjun's expression shifted.

He heard the soft clinks of Beomgyu attaching the blocks on top of other. Outside the window, birds cooed on the branches.

Yeonjun closed his eyes, and a scene flashed in his mind.

"Yeonjun Hyung, if you ever find that fairy, you should never let go of those hands." Beomgyu spoke in a demanding tone. "Like, never ever. If you do, then the fairy will become lonely again, and never talk to you!"

"Look, you can't just tame a fairy out of nowhere." Yeonjun, with his ten years old baby fists, hit Beomgyu rather strongly, so that the latter almost tripled over the play mat. "And fairies don't exist. Mother told me once."

Beomgyu, with his hazel doe eyes widened and sharp teeth clenching, hit Yeonjun back on his head. "You really won't understand why I need a fairy like that."

"I understand, but Beomgyu-"

"Because I don't want it to leave me ever!" Beomgyu shouted, his lips pressed in a thin line and eyes darkened. Was there a hint of longing and sorrow deep underneath? 

"Because- because-" Beomgyu started to cry at top of his voice, his voice shattering like glasses. "None of the dolls I play with lasts long! They always get lost! I had two dolls, one for my mother and one for me. B-but the day she left me, I couldn't find it anymore!"

Yeonjun's heart thrashed so violently inside his chest at the tearful face of the younger boy.

"I never knew when I lost my doll. Not that I care." Beomgyu wiped his tears with the hem of his shirt, smiling sadly. "Gosh, I'm such a crybaby, right?"

"Beomgyu, please, don't say that." Yeonjun pleaded, his voice was also breaking by the passing moments. Why did Beomgyu had to cry like that? Didn't he know how lost Yeonjun felt whenever he cried?

"And if I don't get that fairy, then it's okay." Beomgyu pursed his lips, staring down at the blocks in his hands. "I will turn into one myself and stay inside this dollhouse." he pointed at the tiny toy bed.

Yeonjun's stomach gave the most painful lurch ever.

With a hiccup, unintentionally coming from his chest, Yeonjun whispered. "If you turn into a fairy, you'll die, Beomgyu."

The younger's eyes went wide.

"You'll no longer be a human."

"Hyung, I-"

"I-I don't want you to die." Yeonjun was sobbing hard, his wrists were full of snot as he continuously wiped his nose. "If you turn into a fairy, then what about me? What will happen to me, Beomgyu?"

Beomgyu's round, shocked eyes definitely said he did not think that over. But it didn't matter anymore. Through Yeonjun's eyes, and heart, he knew the younger boy was already clear about what he wanted.

And it was a never vanishing truth that Beomgyu always wanted a fairy like that. Cloths tattered, wings torn, rose in hands, smile on the lips and eyes full of stars.

The question was, would Beomgyu let go of what he needed in order to give Yeonjun what he wanted?

Him continuing to live in this world? He did not want Beomgyu to turn into a fairy. He could not be alive if the boy was not there anymore.

"Hyung. Now you're the one crying." Beomgyu snuggled to his friend, enveloping him in a tight hug. "Such a crybaby. I never thought that way!"

As Yeonjun looked at him, sniffing, Beomgyu smiled gently. "I won't turn into a fairy, I promise. Anything that makes me leave you, I will abandon it. You matter the most to me, Hyung."

"Beomgyu..." Yeonjun gazed into the younger's doe eyes, breathing heavily. "I swear I don't wanna be selfish."

"You aren't, idiot." Beomgyu giggled. "Trust me."

Yeonjun really wanted to believe it.

That he would have Beomgyu, until the end of this world.

•√•