Dear Deidara's Diary,

You must think I have stolen you from your rightful owner. This is not the case.

You were slid out from under his door and I simply picked you up.

Apparently Deidara is stuck in his room, because Zetsu locked him in. I will free him later.

Apparently Deidara had also found out Zetsu's children were going to eat us,

but instead of destroying them he simply wanted to outrun them.

We actually almost had them all. Oh, wait, one of them came running by.

Well, nothing a good fireball jutsu can't fix.

Anyways, I also read some of the other things Deidara put in here.

It was kind of disturbing. I have to tell you that I am not forcing him to do anything.

He had amnesia and I had to take care of him, so showering counts to.

I can not help it that he places his butt in my hand. What was I supposed to do? Not squeeze?

And also Deidara had a lot of fun on the date, I'm sure of it.

He even let me carry him back to his room. Of course one of the reasons he let me was,

because I knocked him out with his own diary. I believe that was the first time we met.

Do you think Deidara will let me kiss him on the next date?

Now for another part. Maybe we should tell the blonde about Tobi being fake.

Madara would not appreciate it, but I believe that Deidara will find out sooner or later.

You disagree? Maybe you're right, he isn't that smart. That's what's so cute about him.

I'll let him have his fun with Tobi for a little bit longer.

So I see that Deidara has been the one making my partner rather depressed.

He has been of no use on missions, crying about some gayfish.

Apparently it's a cat and they lost it. I believe he's sitting here right in front of me.

He's been watching my every move. I just poked him in the head, but he kept looking.

Maybe he thinks I'm literally a raven. If he does something, I will use my sharingan on him.

I am not responsible for anything that happens to Gayfish.

Alright, so this part kind of disturbed me. Hidan wants Deidara to watch his porn.

I know for a fact it are tapes of him and Kakuzu and it is definitely not a pretty sight.

I have to keep him away from my boyfriend or else he might really harm him and be to no use for me.

Yes, I went there. I called him my boyfriend, shoot me.

Konan has been dressing him up like a girl, huh. And he has shaved legs.

Konan even figured out he was definitely gay. This information is helpful.

I should go talk to her, maybe she will lend me her leather skirt.

Only the thought already makes me want to eat the blonde.

Deidara is blowing up things around here. I see, that is why the toilet's not working anymore.

I should really learn him some manners, but he had every right though.

Who would switch his clay for play doh? That is just wrong.

Although, I'm sure he would craft some gorgeous things.

Hidan's eyes must have been really pretty before it blew up.

Why on earth does he think Pein is a zombie? Wait, if you think about it,

he is kind of a zombie. But that doesn't mean he wants to eat our brains, right?

I'm suspicious now. He has been paying a lot of attention to me lately.

Of course I am the smartest one around here. I would be a real treat.

I should take a look in that closet of Deidara. It's supposed to be save.

Well, that serves him right. Deidara shouldn't have broken Sasori's doll.

Ow, I just got hit with a wooden finger. Oh, right puppet not doll.

But I still must say it's very clever switching Sasori's poisons with grape-juice.

The color is the same and it tastes nice if you have to drink it.

Maybe I'll join Deidara in this piece of fun. It could be our second date.

It's already making me very happy. I'm almost smiling.

I must say you have been very interesting company.

Have you enjoyed my writing as much as Deidara's?

It must be nice having someone with a bit of intellect talking to you.

Deidara is a sweetheart, but not very bright, but hot as hell.

I'll make an escape route for him on the bottom of this page.

I'll lead him to my room, telling him it's safe there.

Maybe I can finally have some alone time with him.

I only have to slide it back under his door and unlock it.

He will be fine, right?

I bid you good day, Itachi Uchiha