Chapter Forty-two: Take A Deep breath
CALISTA POV
When we got back to the helicopter, we were laughing, kissing, and holding hands. The place was empty, and the parking lot we passed through was scanty, but Nolan wasn't pissed off as I had predicted he would be for wasting his time. Instead, he had brought over two cups of boba for us.
I collected a cup Nolan was holding out to me and thanked him while smiling at Myles, knowing full well that he had asked his friend to get the tea drink for us, as boba had been our thing since last year.
On the helicopter back to Georgetown where we left dad's vehicle, I took the time to gape at the part of Texas that I can see from here. It is remarkable. I showed Myles the landmarks I was sure of and some I had to guess, but Nolan helped me out, as he only knows a bit around here.
Today feels so different from all the days I have lived. That is why, after we said goodbye to Nolan, and Myles followed my directions to Scarlett's house; I felt my pulse racing.
As I point to her house, I know I made a mistake. I shouldn't ruin the good memories I have of today by coming to where it holds so many painful and haunting memories. Ever since the accident, I've never passed through this street or even the neighborhood itself. Earlier, I didn't consider the damage it would do until it's now too late. My heart is making breaking sounds in my chest.
"Just right there, Chloe lost her life." I eventually spoke when he parked by the side of the road.
I felt Myles shift and face me as I was staring at the spot where I held Chloe's remains in my arms.
"Cali, I wouldn't bring you here if I knew." His voice was raspy and restricted by emotions.
My eyes fly to the perfect turf, which alone, exemplifies the Maverick family's fortune.
"They feed us that dirt and made us swallow it with a giant bottle of tequila," I whispered.
"They physically abused you?"
"They physically abuse us all the time."
Myles exhales, and he grabs my cold hand.
"Does anyone know this? Cali, you weren't drunk deliberately. You were forced and you wanted to get away." He sounded desperate. I felt the tears trying to break through my eyes.
"They didn't give us any choice. The jocks wanted to touch Chloe and the choice we had was between driving away or getting our arms broken, as Scarlett had offered." I whimpered, looking at Myles. "I swear I thought I was in control when I chose to drive. I should've stayed. Arms heal but a wide crack in the brain doesn't and now... She's gone. She wouldn't get to celebrate, she wouldn't get to meet you. Everything she planned is all gone because I decided to drive while intoxicated."
Myles frowned, his sympathetic stare becoming penetrating and distant.
"It's not unfair, Cali. Do not blame yourself for what is clearly not your fault." He emphasizes irascibly.
"You are mad at me."
He let go of my hand and held my head with both hands, having my eyes focus on him.
"I am mad at you for not seeing how innocent and pure you are."
"You don't get it. While I held Chloe's body, waiting for the medic to arrive, they all came out right there from their party. The neighbors too from these huge houses. Everyone only called me crazy, they blamed me for driving under the influence of booze. The kids all recorded the scene from a distance. Not even one single adult from these majestic buildings offers to help while Chloe was losing her life." I shuddered, sniffing noisily along with the uncontrolled tears rushing down my face. "People are just cruel. All they care about is their reputation. The kids from school were afraid to be like us. To be bullied and hated, to be invisible, and humiliated. So they only do what will please Scarlett Maverick, even if it means watching their schoolmates dying right in front of them."
A small sad laugh escapes me when I pause, as Myles's hand brushes my hair and his right thumb strokes my cheek.
"Today when I talked back to her. I felt good. The kind that I never thought I would ever experience."
"Cali, this isn't the kind of thing you keep inside of you. It will only destroy you." He sadly said and leaned over to kiss the tip of my nose and forehead. With his lips against my forehead, he sighs noisily and binds our forehead. My eyes close for a moment while he takes in soft and calming breaths in the otherwise grave closed space. "I promise it would feel even better if you confessed this to the cops."
"Her family are powerful, they have lawyers... It's my words against hers. I won't win. I will just hurt myself more and wake up memories I've made progress of." I croaked.
He pulls back a little to meet my eyes.
"If Bray had known, he would have made sure she got what she deserved. All of them." He said with strong emotions. "But now that I know, Cali, let me help you. I know good lawyers. It was a party, there has to be someone who knows something, and they will confess when persuaded." My head was shaking at his proposal. He has no idea how obstinate the kids from my school are. "If not for you. Let me do it for Chloe. You said she liked me. Handing her murderers to justice is the least I could do."
I cried then, at the feeling of the worst kind of pain running through my veins and crashing at the core of my despairing soul. I gasp for air like a child in a bathtub, my lungs threatening to give up on air.
Myles's hand came over to my nape and the back of my head, softly massaging my scalp while my face was buried into his arm.
"Let me fight for you. Let them know you're loved and you have someone who won't watch you fall." He whispered above my hair.
After what felt like forever, my hands circled his torso and I nodded.
"Okay."
"And we can leave here. I will leave." He suggested.
"No." I pulled back, wiping the tears with the back of my hands. "We are going to take that pool to Scarlett, remember?"
"Do you want me to deliver it then?" He offered.
I watched him and wondered how he could be real. How a person like him would love me with everything he has. And then a thought crept into the back of my head, having me realize that I must be loved not only by Myles but by God, that I am sure.
"No. I wouldn't want Scarlett to be entertained with the idea of you on her doorstep. Her family is a sucker for you, they will invite you inside their mansion and feed you Gordon Ramsey's dessert. And you will probably forget I am here." I embarrassingly muttered.
Myles's forehead crinkles.
"How can I forget about the girl I sat for half of a year moping over? I've seen better than Scarlett. I just don't think they're better than you."
I blush as my heart skips a beat at his words.
"Is it wrong that I still don't want you to go there?" I looked away from his frown. And it didn't take a second for his hand to cup my face. Just like a tennis ball on the surface of the water, my entire body was excited.
"And I will not go." He promised when I looked up at him. Then a smile began to pull his lips as we stared for what could be five seconds.
"Come, I have an idea." He breathed out a single laugh, confusing me.
"What are you doing?" I called as he climbed out of the car.
"Take this." He gave me the poles when I followed him to the open truck where he was taking out the Intex pool Scarlett had set in my backyard.
"You said we don't have to do it." I confoundedly reminded him of his lines.
"We are not going to do anything. Trust me and get ready to run." He smirks and leads the way to Scarlett's front door. All the time, I felt the hair at the back of my neck rising.
Scarlett Maverick has been my nightmare ever since I knew myself. I might have finally confronted her, but the idea of her still haunts me. I know I will get over it with time, but it doesn't happen overnight.
As we reach the door, Myles and I set everything in our hands at the foot of the door and he presses the doorbell button. I've never paled up so fast.
He turns and faces me and says, "This is the part where we run as though our lives depend on it."
Oh, shoot.
"Run," I screamed at the top of my voice, laughing along with Myles while we raced down the steps and followed the long driveway lane.
The rush, the excitement, the joy, it was priceless. A year ago, if you told me life would feel this amazing, I would hate you for lying to me, but indeed, life is good. And right now, I am experiencing the best of it.
While Myles and I were running to our vehicle, it was like we were being followed even though no one had opened the door yet.
"Get in." I urged him when I turned on the engine.
Pumped up and panting, I looked back at the facade of the mansion. Mrs. Maverick is standing by her front door calling after us.
"Cali?" Myles came to my window, his eyes widened with fear.
Why isn't he getting in the car? The plan was to run. What part did he forget?
"Myles, seriously, get in," I repeated, looking back at Mr. and Mrs. Maverick as they approached.
It is at this moment Myles chooses to panic, his head shaking at me.
"Cali, you don't..."
"Just get in." Alarm, I begged and he briefly contemplated something before finally circling the car and swinging open the door.
The car began moving, distancing from the Maverick's mansion. And laughter ripples through me.
"Oh my God. That was so good. You almost got us killed."
"I don't think they would kill us. They will probably only call the police and report us for trespassing. Which we wouldn't be guilty of because we were clearly returning something they left in your backyard."
"That's actually true." My lips shrugged at his calculation.
"You know what's even true?" He said next to me and I glanced over at him.
"What?"
"You are literally driving." He notified me, and my heart jerked to the wall of my chest.
"Myles. How do I stop? I think I am having a panic attack. I will get us killed."
"Breathe. Take a deep breath, Cali." Myles's hand came over mine on the wheel.
No... Not again.
My chest was hitting its cage, pushing to the limit that the torment of my past actions started numbing my body.
"I am going to kill you. I am going to kill everyone around me until there is no one."
I just can't breathe. I am blue, I might puke.
"Hey, you don't kill those you love. You protect them." He sternly said in my ear while I clenched the wheel, my knuckles likely as white as those of ghosts.
"I can't, Myles," I exclaimed, my voice thick with terror.
"Then protect me." He whispered, his breath against the skin of my jaw. "If you truly don't want to hurt me, then drive safely, Cali."
My head tilts a little. I find his eyes close to mine, and all I see are his earlier words written in his pupils. Sometimes we need to be triggered a little to make it through what we fear.
"I am right here, I won't watch you fall, remember?" He reassured me, and just like that, my breathing began to soothe, my heartbeat resolved to normal and my grasp on the wheel loosened.
Myles's hand left mine then. Instead, he remains closer, tenderly kissing my cheek while he flips back my hair to the other side. I felt his kiss on my collarbone as gently as he did on my cheek, and his face remained in the nook of my neck.
I felt the rush of adrenaline. I felt a spark and also thousands of butterflies in my stomach. Since when does driving feel this good?
"After spring break, then what?" He quietly asked in his rich voice.
"A couple of months until school is finally over."
"You are excited?"
"Honestly?" I asked and he nodded around my neck. "Yes."
"I am a bit nervous about what is ahead."
"You did well in California and New York. You will do good anywhere around the world, Cali." He sounded so sure and confident about it.
The thing about Myles is that he sees something in me that I, myself, didn't acknowledge.
"I tried." I smiled lightly.
"You were perfect." He disagreed, and I exhaled a laugh.
He leans his head on my shoulder and we both face the road.
"Look, you are driving again, and it is just that simple."
Warmth flowed through every part of me and so was courage, strength, and joy.
Around Myles, everything tends to be alright. In a puzzling way, he always helps me find myself and the confidence that I had misplaced for a long time.
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