"Rita, I swear, you are my saving grace," I moan as I sink my teeth into the Brie and cranberry sandwich she got me.

What would I ever do without her?

You would suffer, let's be honest here.

"You damn well know it, babes," she grins, flipping her hair.

I moan in agreement, scarfing down my sandwich. I haven't eaten for the better part of six hours, this stuff is like a god sent gift for me. I am a very hungry person.

Just as I finish deep-throating my sandwich, I hear a voice behind me, "God you're hot when you're stuffing things in you mouth," JT winks.

"Shud de fuff ub," I attempt to talk with my mouth full to the point I look like a chipmunk, abandoning my manners.

"Don't choke, you doofus!" Axel exclaims in irritation.

"Awwf oo care abouh meh," I grin, completely ignoring his orders.

In return he scowls at me, "on second thought, choke, you imbecile."

I finally manage to swallow the remnants of my lunch before childishly sticking my tongue out at him, "fat chance of that."

"Kind of like your ass," JT interjects. That earns him a slap from Rita.

"I have rights over that ass, JT. Back off."

I quirk an eyebrow at that comment, "this ass belongs to no one. It runs free and wild."

Axel scrunches his face in disgust, "that does not paint an appealing picture in my head."

"Yes but Axel, when someone talks about their butt, they are referring to themselves, as a whole."

Rita and I look at each other before simultaneously declaring, "your booty is you!"

Here here, let's hear it from the back for that Domic. Pun intended.

"Hey bitch."

Round two, here we go.

Rolling my eyes, I swivel around, pointing to my chest in mock confusion.

"Yes you, you know you owe me for breaking my heel, right?" She declares.

A day is not complete without this bitch irritating the shit out of me.

You know she owes you for that time she cut your shirt up during gym like some sort of modern day Drizella, right? Feel flattered, I essentially just called you Cinderella.

"what do you want, Mandy?" I say, gritting my teeth.

"Monetary compensation for my Prada heel."

I roll my eyes, "first of all, I had no idea you knew words longer than six words long. At best. Did you have to google synonyms for that? Do you even know what a synonym is? Secondly, I don't owe you jack shit."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"We can banter like this for hours. Justify yourself."

"You defaced personal property!"

I raise my eyebrows, "three out of four words in a solitary sentence are longer than six words. How much time have you been spending reading up synonyms?"

"I don't even understand what she just said," a squeaky voice sounds from behind her.

Cue the entrance of Melissa. She's the Karen Smith in their Mean Girls group. She's your blonde, brainless bimbo, and in my ever so candid opinion, I wonder how she hasn't been run over by a bus yet.

No, but wait, power of threes, right? Naturally we're missing 'M' number three, also known as Miranda. Behold your Gretchen Wieners.

Naturally Mandy here is your Regina George. Some how dumb managed to lasso dumber and just plain dull into creating your clique of whores that wear pink on Wednesday.

Look at me, making pop culture references.

They do wear pink on Wednesdays though.

Mean, Manky and Moronic are wannabe Mean girls. And I talk about them collectively when I say the three Ms.

And they all especially love making me miserable.

Notice the other 'M' there?

"Miranda, do you ever just shut up?" Mandy yells at Moronic, snapping me out of my judgemental revere.

Miranda put her hand to her O-shaped mouth in response, eyes following suit, "my name's Melissa."

I snort. I don't blame Mandy, it's hard to distinguish between the two blondes.

Aren't they twins?

"Besides the point, you owe me, Ashley," she turns back to me.

I simply shake my head in response.

"Stop arguing with me, you owe me!"

The cafeteria immediately falls into a state of silence after her obnoxiously nasal voice interrupts everyone's conversation.

That would be the second day in a row now, here we go again.

"Oh just shut up Mandy," Axel interjects. If there's one thing to know about the boy, it's that he does not, and will not, shut up when irritated.

Maybe that's why we're not the best of friends, because we're too alike and like poles repel. À la law of magnetism.

"And who are you?" Mandy asks in a sickly sweet voice.

"Someone who literally does not give a flying fuck about your Prada heel. Just get a new one for bloody hell's sake; it's not like you can't afford it."

Cue Mandy's goldfish impersonation as she stands there, unsure what to say. Did I also mention that Axel is crazy tall and crazy intimidating?

Suddenly I love your friends even more.

"Yes, but she purposely broke my heel."

"And you purposely ruined her hoodie. Your point is?"

Another pause. I stand there, wondering whether I should speak up, considering Axel is defending me, or just leave him do all the work.

I glance at Rita and JT.

JT's recording the whole thing. I scowl at him, what a useful specimen of us Homo Sapiens, eh? He flashes me the peace sign in response.

Rita sits there quietly, watching the whole thing intently.

Probably gathering information to ruin the girl later, Rita's amazing.

I sigh, returning my gaze back to Mandy. This girl is exhausting.

JT decides to pipe up, seeing as no one is saying anything, "Mandy, we all saw you diverge your path to collide with Ashley. It was virtually a right angle detour. Leave us alone."

Maybe he's not that useless after all.

Now Mandy smirks, clearly something has come to mind, "you're right, how about we both pay each other for ruining both our things?"

Oof. Now that was clever, I've got to admit. Naturally my not-rich self got a cheap hoodie while she got shoes that look they could bankrupt me with their price tag.

Technically speaking, you're already bankrupt.

"No. How about we bring in footage from the CCTV cameras in the room and see who's accountable for what?"Rita pipes up, quietly but clear enough for her to hear. God I love that girl. She's so smart.

I told you so, she definitely was gathering information.

Many sticks her nose in the air, as narcissistic as ever, "I think whatever authority you bring the footage too would find us equally at fault."

"Mandy, babe," Ethan coos as he wraps his hand around her waist, bringing her closer to him. "What's wrong?"

And he swoops in to save the day.

I frown, I don't need saving. What's he doing here?

It's the second day in a row that this guy has interrupted a fight between Mandy and I. Where did he even appear from?

He's mastered the art of teleportation, or he's just a figment of your imagination. This boy is way too good to be true- at least in your case.

Mandy looks at teleportation boy in surprise, but quickly masks it up. Naturally those two have been friends with benefits for a while now. And when I say friends with benefits I really just mean benefits. They hate each other.

Didn't her refer to their relationship complex as 'Sleeping with the enemy?'

It's a really weird dynamic which I just don't understand.

"Hey, it's nothing love. Just sorting out issues with cheapskates." She uses this as an opportunity to glare at me while.

"Must suck being you, don't you think. Huh, love?" I drawl, mimicking her words.

She scowls in response, diverting her attention from Ethan, "Listen here-"

But she never gets to finish because Ethan cuts her off, placing a finger to her lips and tutting condescendingly. Naturally she complies and shuts up.

Now we know who's the submissive one in the relationship.

He starts talking, "Mandy, you know what's one of your most dominant features?"

She shakes her head in response. He pull her closer to him, so much so their atoms' nuclei could've been touching.

"Sweet pea," he pauses to look at her lips, then slowly brings them back up to her eyes, and then taps her on her nose. "It's your inability to shut the fuck up and leave people alone," he says in a low (seductive?) voice.

Cue the most dramatic silence in the history of mankind. He just smirks at her, not releasing his grip around her waist, while she gapes at him in blaring anger.

Naturally I ruined the moment and snorted.

I told you he's Superman.

He immediately pulls away from her after that, leaving her dumbfounded and just plain dumb as he winks at me and walks away.

I stare after his retreating self-

And his muscular back

- while Mandy glares at me, venom spewing out her eyes in my direction before bounding away too.

And all the while I stand there in confusion thinking, what the fuck?

I turn to look at my friends, who all stare back at me with astounded expressions, jaws hitting the floor.

I sigh, and shrug, feigning innocence, pretending I don't know why this just happened. I don't want to give them answers right now.

Naturally, imagine all the looks they'd give you for sleeping in the same goddamn bed as the bad boy.

I'm not dealing with this right now. So I leave, following Mandy and Ethan. Maybe I'll go hide out in the library or something.

Goddamn you're a real mess, Ashley.

•

Mandy's not really going to appear much after this chapter.

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- just your sarcastic sleeper.