Twenty
The Talk has such a bad theme song, Michael visually cringes. Calum would laugh if he wasn't so nervous, himself. Several cameras move at once and twist around the stage, and then one of the hosts, Calum doesn't know any of their names, smiles and starts talking to one of them.
Michael shifts around in his chair, looking generally bored with whatever topics they're going to be discussing today, but then the hostess talking says, "Here today with us, we have Michael Clifford!"
Michael smiles and waves and looks genuinely excited to be on daytime television, while the rest of his band rolls their eyes. Calum calls shit like this a publicity stunt. Their manager had come to the decision that it was time to start speaking out about their sexualities and genders, now that the public has had time to digest it. They volunteered Michael as the spokesman, because he knew more than Luke about the topic, and he's more confident with himself than Calum and Ashton.
Calum would like to think Michael's appearing on a fucking talk show to better the American public about various sexualities and genders, when he's really doing it by force.
The same hostess that had introduced Michael smiles again and faces the camera, looking faker than Calum's ever seen anyone look. He narrows his eyes at the extravagantly colored stage, only to receive a nervous grin back from Michael.
"So, Michael is here today to tell us about the hot new trend in sexualities," the host says. Michael's grin drops off instantly when he turns to look at her, flipping into a grimace instead. "He says he's demiromantic pansexual, and we want to know just what that is! A little while later, we'll hear from his other band members, and learn more about them, as well! But, first of all, Michael. Hello, welcome!"
"Yeah, hi," Michael says dismissively. "Let me just start off by saying that, if we're going to do this, we're going to do this right." Calum turns from his seat in the first row of the audience and notices Luke is smirking. Ashton's watching closely from Luke's other side with an impartial, unimpressed expression.
"And how do you think it should be done?" Julie, Calum's pretty sure the main hostesses name is Julie, asks.
"Sexualities are not a trend," Michael responds sharply. "You don't just wake up like, wow. I'm going to be bisexual today. That's not how it works- your sexuality is a definition of who you like, both sexually and romantically."
The bigger, boisterous woman on the opposite side of the table scoffs and laughs, making everyone else in the audience follow suit. Calum frowns and notices Luke and Ashton doing the same thing, all watching Michael patiently for his reaction. He remains calm for once in his life and just turns with raised eyebrows to see what's so funny.
"No one had a damn sexuality when I was younger!" The woman laughs. Calum doesn't know what her name is either. "We didn't have to worry about petty things like that, kids now days just feel the need to branch out and be different! Honey, it's a trend."
"Your generation was also homophobic, racist, sexist, and condescending," Michael shrugs. Calum can't believe he's keeping his cool. "Besides, Angela, kids are learning to be themselves now, instead of conforming because they thought they were alone and weird."
Calum is completely sure her name isn't Angela. The way Michael says it implies that he can't be bothered to learn her real name, so he's giving her a new one. Calum raises his eyebrows in amusement.
"Anyway, Michael," Julie says in an attempt to lead the conversation back on track. "Let's start with your sexual orientation, what exactly is pansexual?"
"Right, yeah," Michael goes back into civilized talk show mode and smiles lazily at Calum in the crowd, before facing Julie. "Pansexual is basically when someone is sexually attracted to a person, regardless of their gender."
"You say that like there's more than two genders," one of the other women says. Calum thinks she looks like a bird.
"There is," Michael shrugs. "I'm a boy, you're a girl, Calum's genderfluid. Right, Cal?"
A camera appears in front of him while Calum's cheeks burn hot. He nods and tries a shaky smile, which Michael returns with a giant grin.
"So, me, for example," Michael continues and the camera man in front of Calum stumbles away, luckily. "I'm attracted to guys, girls, nongendered people, trans people, bigender people, genderflux people, anyone really. I would honestly have sex with anyone, I love sex."
Ashton makes a sputtering noise from Calum's right, followed by a loud scoff and a shake of his head, which has the whole audience laughing again. Including Luke and Calum. Ashton flushes dark red while Luke swings an arm around his shoulder almost protectively. Michael grins at him and Ashton pouts gently.
"Sorry, sometimes I forget Ash is asexual," Michael laughs a little and the ladies at the table all lean forward like they're intrigued. Before they can start firing off questions, one of the camera techs waves his arm to signal an upcoming commercial break.
Julie turns back to the main camera and says, "We have to go to break, but when we come back, Michael will tell us all bout demiromantic, asexual, and genders! Stay tuned, everyone!" The crowd starts clapping and cheering and the camera does some dramatic zoom out and pan trick that Calum doesn't care about. As soon as the all clear is given, Calum scrambles out of his seat and rushes into the stage, despite the protests from security and tech.
Michael grins and leans forward like he's expecting it, setting his elbows on the desk and his chin in his hands. Calum leans in close as soon as he reaches him, then presses a chaste kiss to his still bruised and crooked nose.
"You're doing good," Calum assures him. "'m proud of you, you're doing good."
Michael laughs with his nose scrunched up and his eyes squinting and Calum kind of falls in love a little bit more. They're only inches apart, close enough to hear just each other and ignore everyone else. Michael lowers his voice even more, despite the chatter of the crowd and the women around them, and whispers, "I think you would do better, babe."
Calum shrugs, pausing to lean back and brush a few pieces of hair off Michael's forehead. "No, I don't think I would. I love you, but I have to go back to my seat. You'll do great, Mikey." He pecks Michael on the nose once more, then darts off the stage, just as the techs start counting down to come back from commercial.
Luke's been moved to his previous seat, which leaves Calum in the middle of him and Ashton now. Luke swings an arm around his shoulder as soon as he sits down in some show of dominance, shooting Calum a slick smile. Calum's not sure how dominant Luke can be when he looks so cute in his soft pink skirt. Ashton tries to hide his smile, but eventually he just giggles and knocks their elbows together.
The camera pans again and the crowd cheers, making the three of them look back at the stage. Michael shoots them a thumbs up, which they all return like the supportive band mates they are.
"We're back with Michael Clifford!" Julie says. Calum decides he doesn't like Julie. "Alright, Michael, now that we know pansexual is when you're sexually attracted to anyone, regardless of gender, let's talk about the other part of your sexuality. What exactly is demiromantic?"
"Yeah, right," Michael says quickly. He's rubbing his forefinger against the side of his thumb, something he only usually does when he's nervous. Calum notices almost instantly and frowns. "Basically, demiromantic is when someone is romantically attracted to someone they have a close bond with. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's kind of just like- like, I don't want to date anyone, or even think about dating anyone, unless I know them super well."
"So like a friend," the woman on the end, the one who's name is not Angela deadpans.
Michael shifts at that and flicks his eyes over to Calum's for half a second, before turning to her. "Or a long term partner."
"But your best friend you would want to date, by definition, right?" The bird looking woman asks.
"By definition," Michael snorts. "Sexualities don't follow definitions. They're vague outlines, insights, basically a summary. Could I randomly meet someone and fall in love? Yes. Could little Lukey fall in love with a girl? Yes. Your sexuality isn't an open and shut case, there's always going to be exceptions. The label of demiromantic pansexual is just an outline as to who I like."
It's silent, and Calum realizes Michael's managed to make four chatty women and an entire audience shut their mouths and think. He raises his eyebrows while Ashton snorts out a quiet laugh and Luke grins.
After a few seconds, Julie manages to speak up and get the conversation back on track. "Anyway, Michael, thank you for that. Now, let's move on to the rest of your band. Ashton is asexual, correct?"
Ashton's smile instantly flips into a tight lipped grimace. He stares straight ahead, even as a camera man drops in front of him and shoves a black lease in his face. Calum reaches over and grabs his hand, letting out a sigh of relief when Ashton squeezes his knuckles instead of jerking away.
"Yeah," Michael nods, a little too loudly in an attempt to bring the attention away from Ashton. He's glaring at the camera man, even though the broadcast is back to him.
"What exactly is asexuality?" Julie asks. Calum cringes, because he knows this one is going to be tough, even for Michael. People tend to forget about asexuality, or ignore it, thinking it's just a phase.
"Honestly, he's just not sexually attracted to anyone," Michael says. "I'm sexually attracted to everyone, so he's the exact opposite. A common misconception is that asexuals are just celibate, but he's not. He just doesn't look at a person and want to have sex with them. Ashton thinks there's more vital ways of showing someone you love them than sex."
"Who hates sex?" Not Angela asks.
"Angela, when the hell did I say that?" Michael sighs in exasperation. "I literally did not say that once. I didn't even say something similar to that! He doesn't hate sex, he just doesn't find it that important."
Not Angela opens her mouth to respond, but Michael holds his hand up and turns back to Julie dismissively. "Anyway," he rolls his eyes.
The audience makes a collective "oooo"ing noise. Calum wonders why they let the sassiest of the four of them do an interview on daytime television.
"Sex repulsed asexuals hate sex, by the way," Michael says, looking pointedly at Julie. "Sex is disgusting to them, it's like- like thinking of your family members shitting. Or having sex. Ashton isn't usually sex repulsed, so he honestly just finds sex super irrelevant."
"Who-"
Michael holds up his hand to make Not Angela shut her mouth again. "Just because you don't feel a certain way, doesn't mean no one does, you conceded grape."
The audience muffles laughs and makes the surprised noise again. Calum snorts, and even Ashton manages to crack a smile.
Michael's not done, apparently. He turns to face the woman again and says, "Sex repulsed asexuals don't like sex. Julie doesn't like spiders. You don't like being tolerant and using your brain, grow up and think before you speak. Your words do have consequences. You're on national television, you think some kid isn't going to watch this and feel like they want to disappear because you said something stupid? You could be what pushes them over the edge, you could cause a damn suicide. Watch your mouth."
"And, we have to go to break!" Julie announces. The camera pans back, without the crowd cheering or music playing this time. A rather large security guard plants himself directly in front of Calum, while a man in a suit rushes on stage and grabs Michael's shoulder firmly.
Calum pouts and tries to lean towards Luke to look around the security guard, but Ashton pulls him back and rubs his thumb over the back of Calum's hand gently. "Relax. He's just talking to Michael. They're smiling, I think he's on our side." Calum lets out a huff of breath and pushes his other hand onto Luke's knee, gripping it tightly.
"God, whose idea was this interview?" He mutters.
"This is a good thing, Cal," Luke assures him. "He's clarifying a lot of stuff right now. All he's got to do is talk about genders and we're in the clear, we can go home."
"Think how many people are going to watch this and realize themselves," Ashton adds quietly. Calum brings their joined hands up and kisses the back of Ashton's gently.
When they get back from commercial, the security guard moves and Michael glares at him from the table. He smiles at Calum, though, while Julie reannounces his presence.
"Now, let's move onto the topic of gender," she suggests. Michael nods in agreement, shooting Calum a quick grin before schooling his face into an impartial look again. Calum's cheeks heat up with hot blush, while his lips tilt up in a tiny smile. "Your band mate, Calum, is genderfluid, tell us a little bit about that."
"Okay, first I'm going to start off with a public service announcement about gender," Michael says. "Sex and gender are not the same thing. Sex is physical, Gender is mental. Gender is what matters, because it's up to you, and it's based on how you feel. Sex is just a body and a shape. Understood?"
The women nod, much to Calum's surprise.
"Right, now that we got that taken care of," Michael smiles easily. "Yeah, Cal's genderfluid. Which means he fluctuates between the three main genders, male, female, and agender."
"What the hell is agender?" The lady that resembles a bird asks.
"Nongendered, basically," Michael explains. "No gender. We use the pronouns they and them with agender people. So, when Calum is having an agender day, he usually gets quiet and soft, and really critiques our pronoun and nickname usage. We're not allowed to call him princess, and it's honestly the biggest struggle for me."
Calum blushes again and removes his hand from Luke's knee to cover his face in embarrassment. Luke's arm tightens around his shoulders, even though he's laughing quietly.
"Whoops, sorry Cally!" Michael calls. The audience laughs and Calum's pretty sure there's a camera in front of them again. He groans and hides his smile the best he can. Michael laughs and continues explaining genders the best he can, with little to no interruptions from the four around him. Calum smiles the whole way through, noticing how Not Angela seems at a loss for words as the show continues.
****
Michael sneaks out the guest entrance and manages to get to their temporary LA apartment before the other three. They find him in bed, wrapped in a blanket, playing on his ds.
He glances up when the door to his and Calum's shared room opens, then smiles widely when he sees its only them.
"You did really good!" Calum praises, crawling into the bed and worming his way into Michael's blanket wrap. Michael repositions the duvet so it's snugly around both their heads,then turns to press a kiss to Calum's mouth. Calum giggles and starts layering tiny kisses over Michael's cheeks, while Luke and Ashton make vague gagging noises.
"Oh, come on," Calum scoffs. "He deserves some sort of reward!"
"Give it to him on your own time," Luke rolls his eyes, then crawls into bed and shuts Michael's ds, then tossed it to the other side of the bed. "This is officially band cuddle time, and you two will not be disgustingly cute during."
Calum flings his blanket wrapped arm out at the mention of band cuddles to invite Luke in. Luke, of course, slots himself under Calum's arm and partial on his lap, instantly snuggling in and sighing in content. Ashton joins them after a small eye roll, pushing right in between Michael and Calum.
"You did do really good, Mike," Ashton agrees. Michael smiles and presses a soft kiss to the side of his head, ruffling his hair slightly. "I'm proud of you. We all are."
Michael grins happily in and mumbles, "Love you guys."
None of them even bother responding, just lean forward and start peppering his face and neck with kisses.
((IVE HAD SO MUCH COFFEE I WROTE THE MAJORITY OF THIS IN TWO HOURS *THROWS GLITTER*
Also, if I haven't messaged you back, please send me another message. My inbox is doing a super cool thing right now where I can't see messages unless there's a new one. It can literally be "!!!" Or "hi" or "listen bitch hurry up" it doesn't matter, I just need a new message to see all the old ones, if that makes sense????
Question: What's your favorite color??
Answer: I'm really fckn digging dark purple.
-Mel))
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