((I'm sad so pls tell me dumb stories about u or ur pets or anything really it will make me feel so much better.))

((Smut warnings))

Luke nudges Michael, who hisses and nudges him back, clearly not into a spat this early in the morning. Ashton looks chirpy, so Luke kicks him under the table. Ashton gives him a look, but continues eating his yogurt without kicking back. Luke huffs.

Before he can try to antagonize either of them any further, Calum hops onto the bus and slaps a piece of paper and a few markers onto the table. He nudged his way into the booth next to Ashton and grins.

"Oh, boy, Calum woke us up at the asscrack of dawn so we could color," Michael says sarcastically. Luke lights up and looks at Calum hopefully, but Michael just punches him in the stomach and mutters, "Shut up."

"I didn't even say anything!" Luke whines, clutching his ribs. As soon as he sticks out his bottom lip, Michael scoffs, Ashton groans, and Calum rolls his eyes.

"Come on, I called a meeting for a reason," he sighs, but it's half fond, because Michael winds his arm around Luke's waist and tugs him closer (so he can set his head on Luke's shoulder and use him as a human pillow, but Luke thinks it's the thought that counts). Luke glances up at the mention of the sign posted on the bus door that bad read "Band Meeting!!!!! Tomorrow @ 9!!!!!" The three of them had made indigent noises and echoed "Nine am?" while Calum had stayed quiet, so they all knew who was responsible for the early morning wake up call.

Calum uncaps a black sharpie and draws a long line from one end of the paper to the other, bracketing it with two small lines. He draws one in the middle before glancing up and capping the marker again. "This is the gender spectrum."

Michael and Ashton groan in annoyance.

"We already know what the gender spectrum is!" Ashton complains.

"Okay," Calum pushes the paper towards Ashton with raised eyebrows. "Point to Luke." Ashton snaps his mouth shut, so Calum pulls the paper back and picks up a blue highlighter and a pink highlighter. He highlights each, opposite bracket, then colors the middle one gray. "Male, female, and agender!"

Luke's interested, honestly. He wants to know where he'd fall on this spectrum.

Calum grabs a purple marker next and colors both ends, "Bigender. Obviously, bi just means two, so a bigender person could be male and female, female and agender, male and agender- well you get the point. Two genders."

Michael makes a quiet surprised noise at that, and even Ashton seems intrigued, now.

Calum picks through his markers until he finder a red one, then uses it to color all three marks. "Genderfluid, me!" He says enthusiastically.

Luke glances at the paper and says, "Alright, where would transgender fall?"

Calum squints at him, making Luke shift uncomfortably. "We're all trans, Lukey, anyone who isn't cis male or cis female is considered trans. But, like, actual male to female or female to male people would just be at the same points as the female and male marks."

"Wouldn't they be, like, a little bit in front of the marks?" Ashton asks, flicking his eyes up to meet Calum's. "Because, they're not, like, actual girls or boys, right?"

Calum's squint intensifies to a glare. Michael makes a noise that Luke usually associates with Oh, Shit, You Fucked Up.

"No, they are actual boys and girls," Calum says evenly, like he's trying to contain himself. "A lot of transgender people pay a lot of money to go through sex changes and get hormones so they can be "normal boys and girls"."

"Okay, but what about the ones that haven't transitioned?" Ashton asks. "They're not-"

"They!" Calum chucks a marker at Ashton's face. "Are just!" Two more markers bounce of Ashton's forehead, making him squawk. "As valid!" Calum grabs a handful of markers and throws them as hard as he can at Ashton.

Michael snorts out half a laugh while Ashton sputters and scrambles to keep the markers from falling off the table. Calum huffs and straightens out his hair and paper. "Are we ready to continue without more cissexist commentary?" He asks patiently.

"Yes!" Ashton shoves the markers towards him, while Michael giggles quietly to himself. Calum grabs a handful of the markers and Ashton automatically flinches. Instead of chucking them again, Calum wrestles to get all the caps off and toss them onto the table.

"This is Luke," he explains. He presses all the markers clutched in his fist to one end of the paper, then begins wildly scribbling all over the entire thing. When he's finished, he tosses the markers at Ashton again and says, "Cover those, you floppy fucking spork."

"Floppy-" the markers start rolling off the table, so Ashton scrambles to grab them. Calum flips the paper over and draws another line, bracketed by two more.

"Pansexual!" Michael says excitedly.

"Other one,"

"Demiromantic!" He says in the same tone. Calum nods and Michael grins happily at being acknowledged.

"The asexual spectrum," Calum announces, grabbing the pink and blue markers again. "One end is asexual, the other is allosexual, which is basically the opposite. People who like sex- us."

Luke flicks his eyes up and notices that Ashton's shifting uncomfortably in his seat, eyes darting around like he's looking for an escape route. He's stuck between the table, the wall, and Calum. Luke gives him a reassuring kick to the shins under the table, making him jerk.

"There's a lot of little marks all over," Calum explains. "Same with the gender spectrum, but I'm only going to highlight the main ones." He draws two lines between the middle and the asexual side of the spectrum, then highlights them green and purple, respectively.

"Demi!" Michael shrieks, darting forward to point at the mark closest to the middle.

"Moore?" Luke glances up, earning a marker to the face from Calum.

"Demisexual, but the other half is demiromantic," Calum nods, grinning at Michael's enthusiasm. "Demisexual is being sexually attracted to people you have a strong bond with, while demiromantic is being romantically attracted."

He points to the other line next and says, "Guess," then shoots Michael and Luke a look that clearly says "Don't Guess".

And suddenly, Luke realizes why they're having this conversation. It's not to show him more genders and sexualities, it's not to explain things a little better, it's for Ashton. The conversation is a way to force Ashton to be more comfortable with himself. Explaining everything, showing him exactly where they all are on these spectrums, and forcing him to say his sexuality. They're forcing him to accept himself.

Ashton shrugs and looks away, so Calum glances at the other two for help.

"Luke!" Michael chirps.

Luke scoffs. "I'm not a sexuality!"

"Are you not the human embodiment of the word gay at this point?" Michael gestures towards his pink sweatpants. Luke grabs a handful of his hair and yanks, making Michael whine in protest.

"That's an offensive stereotype!" He yells, shoving Michael with the hand that's not ripping his hair out. Michael uses his knobby knees to his advantage and jabs Luke in the ribs with one, then shoves him out of the booth. Luke crashes to the floor with a loud curse and a shriek.

"Christ, knock it off!" Ashton yells.

"I prefer Michael," Michael says with a grin, making Ashton glare at him.

"Will someone just answer the question?" Calum sighs, like its a burden living with these children. Luke resist the urge to remind him that he is also one of the overgrown children.

"It's gray, alright?" Ashton yells, sliding the paper onto the floor forcefully. "It's gray asexual, can we move on, now?"

"Yes!" Calum fist pumps in the air while Luke scrambles to grab the spectrums paper. He sets it back on the table and tries to get back into the booth, but Michael hisses at him and kicks at his crotch when he gets close. Luke has to jump back to avoid a heel to the dick.

"What about Luke?" Michael asks. "Where's he on that one?" Luke whines and tries to sit again, only to get kicked in the thigh.

"Luke just likes cock," Calum shrugs. "He's allo." He pauses and then says, "Michael just likes to lick things, it's weird. He's allo, too."

"Okay, so I'm the only one that's not," Ashton mutters. "Great!"

Michael stops trying to defend his booth and jerks forward, halfway across the table, to point at the green mark. Luke slips back in and presses up against Michael's side, just out of spite. "That's me!" Michael says enthusiastically (Luke can't tell if it's for Ashton's benefit, or if he's actually thrilled to be on the asexual spectrum. "Demiromantic, see? I'm right next to you!" Ashton eyes the lines suspiciously.

While he's considering that, Luke leans forward and says, "Where are you, Cal?"

Calum grabs a handful of markers and rips all their caps off, then starts scribbling all over the paper again.

"I'm not putting those covers back on!" Ashton shrieks. Calum turns and starts scribbling on his arm, instead.

****

Luke looks in the mirror, tilting his head from side to side before glancing at his phone again. It's propped against the hotel bathroom wall, on top of the counter, displaying a picture of a drag queen. Biblegirl, he thinks.

She's pretty and great with makeup, so he uses her as a reference. His eyebrows are freshly plucked, and there's not a hair anywhere on his chin or jaw. Or anywhere else on his body, besides the top of his head and his sharp eyebrows. It hadn't taken him long to do his makeup, trying to stay with his natural look, unlike most drag queens.

There's only foundation, mascara, and eyeshadow on his face. With a tiny bit of contouring, he was looking prettier than anyone in his band, at least. That's not saying a lot, though. Luke reaches forward and locks his phone again, fluttering his eyelashes at his reflection.

He shoots himself little finger guns and grins before strutting out of the bathroom.

They got a hotel for the night, which Luke is eternally grateful for, and they've all got separate rooms. That doesn't mean they have to stay in their designated rooms, despite what Ashton seems to think.

Michael and Calum are sitting up in the bed, scrolling through their phones and mutual silence and sharing what looks like a bowl of blueberries. Luke can't believe they ordered room service to his room, while he was in the bathroom. They both glance up when Luke makes an indignant noise.

Michael visibly startles, dropping his phone into his lap and then fumbling to get it back. Calum seems to be admiring his cheekbones. He lets out a low whistle and says, "Nice contouring, Lukey. I've taught you well."

"Nice conto-" Michael cuts himself off and gapes at Calum to make sure he's serious. "He's half naked and all you can worry about is his contouring?"

Calum shrugs, eyes drifting down to Luke's soft violet panties and the pink bow in his hair. It clashes, but Luke hadn't expected to see anyone Until he was able to get dressed. Now, it looks like that's not going to happen. Not when there's an open spot on the bed and a bowl of blueberries to be eaten. Luke starts wondering if they'll stain his bleached teeth blue.

"It's really great contouring," Calum amends. "Look, he made it look natural. Most drag queens don't bother with all the blending or-"

"Luke, get over here," Michael demands, over Calum's drag queen knowledge. Luke sighs, like he wasn't just about to climb between them, anyway. Michael sets his phone aside and looks Luke dead in the eye when he says, "I'm going to eat your ass while Calum compliments your blending. Alright?"

"I suppose," Luke sighs again, Luke it's a complete burden to be pampered like he is. His makeup is probably going to get ruined and rubbed all over the pillow, but he figures he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it. Calum looks eager as well, popping the last few blueberries into his mouth before setting the bowl aside. He pays the empty spot between the two of them, so Luke climbs up the bed and sits with a huff, fighting to keep the smile off his lips.

"Why'd you even bother sitting down?" Michael sighs, climbing over to kneel between Luke's feet. He wraps his fingers around Luke's ankles and tugs sharply, forcing him to slide down with a soft gasp. When Michael manages to maneuver him into a laying position, he glances up at Calum and holds his hand out expectantly. Calum gives him a skeptical look and a high five.

"Pillow, Cal," Michael sighs again.

"Well, you should have said," Calum rolls his eyes. He reaches to grab the one behind him before leaning over Luke to grab the one Michael had been leaning against. He hands it down and helps lift Luke's hips up so Michael can shove it underneath.

"Ready?" Michael asks, always giving him a chance to back out. Luke nods, so Michael leans forward and starts planting wet kisses down his chest and stomach. When he gets to Luke's panties, he slips a finger into the waistband and starts tugging then down. He kisses down Luke's thighs as he pulls them off, then throws them somewhere in the room.

"Cal," he pulls himself back up and just breathes above Luke's cock, making him harden more and more. Calum glances down at him and startles when he remembers he's supposed to be doing something.

"Sorry, Luke's pretty," he explains, sitting forward on his knees next to Luke's face. "Truly excellent blending, Lukey. You almost can't even tell its make up, wow. What an incredible jaw-"

Michael drags his tongue up the underside of Luke's dick, then presses it flat against the slit and makes Luke keen. He arches up, towards Michael's mouth, and throws his head back.

"Do you mind?" Calum sends Michael an annoyed look. "We're trying to have a conversation."

"Oh, sorry," Michael rolls his eyes and grabs Luke's hips to press them against the pillow. "I'll try to make him come quieter." He pauses, mouth ghosting over the head of Luke's cock again, and smirks. "Do you think I could get him off on just my tongue?"

"You really do have a tongue fetish, don't you?" Calum raises an eyebrow, but he's smirking right back, and Luke really, really likes where this is going.

"It has the most muscles in the human body," Michael says proudly.

Luke grunts from underneath him and attempts to jerk his hips free. "Get on with it."

Michael does exactly as he's told, much to Luke's dismay, and licks a stripe up Luke's cock again. He sucks the tip into his mouth and swirls his tongue around it for a few quick seconds before he pulls off again with a pop. "C'mere," he pays the spot next to him and Calum clambers over quickly, settling down with only Luke's leg separating the two of them.

"I'll use my tongue, you use your fingers," he explains, flicking his eyes up to Calum's. "Don't touch his dick."

Calum nods eagerly, then frowns. "We haven't got any lube, Luke just ran out."

Michael's mouth twitches like he's holding back a snarky comment. Instead, he lets go of Luke's hips and grabs Calum's hand. He pushes two of Calum's fingers into his mouth, hallowing out his cheeks as he sucks. Luke feels like he's about to have his soul sucked out through his ass. Calum bats Michael away after a few seconds and glances down at Luke for permission.

"I'm going to touch my dick if you fuckwads don't hurry," he grumbles, pushing his hips up and huffing when he doesn't get any friction at all.

Michael leans down and presses his hands to Luke's hips again, giving him a chastising look. He leans down and shoves his head between Luke's legs as gracefully as possible, then kisses along the skin on his inner thighs. He sucks, biting and licking at the hot, sensitive skin. Calum slips his hand down while Luke is distracted and circles around his hole, giving him another chance to back out. Luke gasps and throws his head back again, so Calum pushes into the muscles, smiling a bit when Luke clenches around him.

Before he's even in past his first knuckle, Michael ducks his head under Calum's arm and moves to the other thigh to start sucking a bruise there. Luke's over sensitive on his thighs and they all know it. Calum pulls his finger nearly all the way out, then pushes it back in again, waiting for Luke to adjust to start prodding around. Michael presses his tongue flat against the newly forming bruise before staring to suck another one at the seam of Luke's leg, just centimeters away from his dick. He nips at the pulse point there and sucks, hard.

When he's finished making Luke die internally, he sits up and notices that Calum's still fucking him with only one finger. "Another," he demands, kneeling forward. He presses his tongue flat against Luke's stomach, just above his belly button, and licks up, dragging wetly across Luke's chest. He finally stops at the base of Luke's throat, holding himself up on either side of Luke's shoulders, and starts sucking a bruise there, too.

Meanwhile, Calum pulls his finger out and pushes it back in with another, slowing down to stretch Luke carefully. When he thinks Luke's adjusted enough, he pulls them apart inside of him, scissoring the blonde and making him moan.

"Why are your fingers so long?" Luke demands, jerking his hips down against Calum's fingers.

"Quit complaining," Calum pulls them apart again, bumping against Luke's prostate and making him gasp, arching off the bed breathlessly. "Nice," Calum mumbles, stroking the spot deliberately slow, just to watch the way Luke cries out and tries to fuck back against him.

Michael sits up again and ducks his head between Luke's thighs quickly. Before anyone has time to question him, Calum's fingers still and Michael's tongue is pushing against them, inside Luke skillfully.

"Holy-" Luke cuts off as a loud moan bubbles up out of him. Michael glances up at Calum happily, flicking his tongue into Luke again. Luke admires his enthusiasm, really.

Calum starts pulling his fingers apart, bumping Michael's tongue and frowning until they set a rhythm. Calum pulls his fingers out when Michael pushes his tongue in, and they move together, throughly fucking Luke. Calum bumps against the bundle of nerves inside of him almost every time, and Michael starts sucking sharply on his hole, humming around Calum's fingers and Luke's muscles.

Luke knows he's making all sorts of ungodly noises, ranging from soft whimpers when Calum says, "Quit licking me, you knob," to loud cries when Calum's bumps his prostate and Michael tries to swear at him with his tongue still inside of Luke.

Calum seems to notice that Luke's clutching onto the blanket beneath him, knuckles white and strained. He reaches forward with his free hand and guides Luke's fingers to Michael's hair. Michael moans when Luke gets a good fistful and that's it, Luke's gone. He comes hard against his chest with a desperate jerk of his hips and a scream of both their names. Except he tries to say them at the same time, so it's really just a jumble of syllables that has them giggling.

Luke's pretty sure he blacks out for a second, completely out of intense pleasure, because Michael's gone when he opens his eyes. Calum's sitting against the headboard, running his (clean) hand through Luke's sweat damp hair softly. Luke blinks up at him and he smiles.

Michael comes back in from the bathroom with a damn washcloth to wipe of Luke's chest, then tosses it on the floor carelessly. He crawls into bed on Luke's opposite side and thumbs across the love bite on Luke's neck.

"I hate you guys," Luke mumbles.

Michael rolls his eyes and Calum just laughs, flicking the side of Luke's forehead lovingly.

((OH MY GOSH VANNY SHOWED ME THE JAPANESE KEYBOARD AND LOOK

(^_−)−☆ （≧∇≦）
☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

THEYRE SO CUTE OMG

-Mel))