((This is trash and I am trash and sigH. COULD BE TRIGGERING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT. WATCH OUT.

Also there's an authors note at the bottom.

-Mel))

Luke frowns, squeezes one eye shut, and glares at the mirror. Calum glares at Luke.

"You can't squeeze it shut, Luke, you've got to do it lightly," Calum explains, shutting his left eye so his eyes lashes flutter against his cheek. Luke mimics his actions and manages to hold the position for all if five seconds. Calum gets close to him with the makeup brush again and Luke's eyelid squishes together tightly. Calum sighs loudly.

"I'm sorry, I've never had smeary stuff in my face!" Luke defends himself. Calum sighs (again) and reaches forward to grab Luke's jaw lightly in his palm. Before Luke can even complain about his cold hands, Calum presses their lips together. Luke makes a loud "hmph!" noise and flails one arm out wildly. Calum kisses him quickly, pulling their bodies closer together and licking his way into Luke's mouth easily.

Luke does what he always does when he's kissed and let's his eyes stay closed and a happy little smile remain on his lips for a few seconds after Calum pulls away.

Calum brings up the make up brush again and sets about blending Luke's failed attempt at eye shadow.

When he's finished, Luke's eyes flutter open and Calum smiles at him, setting the brush down again. Luke flushes, bright pink splotching his pale cheeks, and looks in the mirror carefully.

"Oh," he says. "Oh, that looks good."

Calum snorts and rolls his eyes. "I know."

"Thanks, Cally," Luke grins and starts digging in Calum's big black makeup bag again. "What else should I use? What's this?"

"Eyeliner," Calum snatches the black tube away. "You're not ready for that." Luke pouts and starts digging again. Calum starts sifting through the bag too, pulling out various items and then placing them back in the bag until he finds the right one. "This is foundation, Lukey," he explains, holding up the small bottle. It's not count to match Luke's skin tone at all, because its Calum's and Luke is as white as a sheet, so he throws it back into the bag and keeps digging.

Over his years of stealing and hoarding as many makeup products as possible, Calum's managed to get multiple items that won't even work for him. Case in point, the bottle of porcelain foundation he'd stolen from his neighbors bathroom when he was twelve. Its exactly Luke's skin tone, which makes Calum smile.

"Why didn't you use the other one?" Luke asks quietly.

"Too dark," Calum grabs Luke's hand and holds it lightly in his. "We're not the same tone, Lukey, it wouldn't have worked." Luke frowns at that, but allows Calum to continue doing his makeup.

Calum's doing well, he's staring to contour Luke's jaw out and slim his cheekbones, when he suddenly realizes Luke's staring at him. He can practically feel the silvery blue eyes piercing his skin. Luke looks nervous and scared and sad, all at once. The edges of his eyes and lips are pulled down and there's thick worry lines in his forehead. Calum places the brush back down on the bathroom counter, right next to where Luke's sitting, and leans forward. He kisses Luke softly, being careful not to smear his makeup in any way. Its a short, slow kiss, one that has Luke leaning into him when he pulls away.

"Luke, sometimes boys want to wear skirts," he says quietly. "There's nothing wrong with that. Its just you being you. I promise, it's completely normal."

Luke nods a little and glances down, tangling his hands in his lap. "I know, its just- I don't know, Cal. This is weird. I feel weird. I don't feel- I don't know, I don't feel like me. I feel like someone else."

"It's alright," Calum responds with a small smile, reaching forward to grab Luke's jaw and coax his head up again. Luke flushes a pretty pink and tries to hide his smile. "Sometimes I don't feel like me, either. It happens, Lukey."

Luke huffs, like he's being misunderstood and he can't figure out why. He turns his head to pull away from Calum's hands and turns his nose up slightly. Calum sighs and picks up the makeup brush again.

By the time Calum's finished with Luke's face and has moved onto his eyelashes, he can tell Luke's still got something on his mind. There's a thick tension in the air and Luke's eyebrows are furrowed in a way that makes it nearly impossible for Calum to get to his lashes.

"Lukey, baby, what is it? What's wrong?" He sighs, setting down the black tube of mascara.

"Someone called me a transvestite," Luke mumbles after a short pause.

Part of Calum is still bitter. He wants to say, "huh, sucks, doesn't it?" He wants to shove it in Luke's face that words do actually hurt.

Instead, he reaches up and thumbs across Luke's cheek, blending in his makeup a little. "You're a queen, Lukey. You're so fucking beautiful, they're an asshole."

Calum also doesn't say that technically Luke is a transvestite. He's a cross dresser. He's a boy that likes wearing skirts, he's the definition of a transvestite.

"There's a reason they call you a drag queen and not a drag transvestite," Calum says. "Because you're a Queen, babe. Look at you." Luke looks at him hesitantly, then twists around and glances in the mirror.

His hand instantly comes up to his cheek and his fingers flit across it lightly. "Oh," he whispers. "Oh, I look like a girl," his soft pink lips tilt up and his eyes start flashing with excitement.

"A Queen, Luke," Calum rephrases. "You look like a queen."

Luke smiles fully and continues fluttering his fingers lightly over his face for a while longer. Finally, he turns back to Calum and throws his arms around his neck, tugging him close. "Thank you," he whispers into Calum's neck. "Thank you so much, Cal, I almost look pretty."

"You are pretty, I just amplified it a bit," Calum grins and hugs Luke tightly.

****

"How do you know about this club, Luke?"

"He's gay, he knows all the gay clubs," Calum grins and grabs Luke's slightly clammy hand, tugging him out of the back of the cab. Ashton and Michael follow them to the door, whispering sharply and gesturing towards Luke wildly.

Calum laces his fingers with Luke's completely, squeezing his knuckles for support and walking along with him.

Luke had mentioned going to the drag club again early that day, and Michael had immediately wanted to come with, locking eyes with Calum. Ashton decided to tag along too, which only made Luke even more uncomfortable and nervous. Calum could practically hear Luke's internal screaming.

"Listen, Lukey," he whispers, flicking his tongue out to wet his lips. "You look really good, Luke, I promise. You look beautiful and sexy and incredible, okay? You have nothing to worry about, babe, so just breathe a little and calm down. Everything is going to be okay, I swear." Luke stops abruptly as soon as they step onto the sidewalk, and tugs Calum into a tight hug. They get a few weird looks, considering Luke's only in a tight, hot pink leotard, ripped fishnets, and black flats, but Calum doesn't mind. He tightens his grip around Luke's waits and tries not to think about if Luke's makeup is smearing or not.

"We have to go, guys," Ashton nudges Calum's lower back gently. Calum and Luke both tense and cling tighter to each other at the statement.

After a few seconds, Calum manages to pull himself away from Luke's tight grip and cold body, and pulls him into the club with an arm around his thin waist. Ashton manages to sweet talk his way past the bouncer and into the club, luckily for them.

Its the same as Calum remembers, with bright strobe lights and extravagant outfits. Luke straights up a bit when he notices they're inside and Calum smiles at him.

"Okay!" Ashton yells over the heavy bass line off the song, once he manages to circle the four of them up, but Michael's too distracted to listen and Luke looks like he's about to bolt any second. "We should try, like, a buddy system or-"

Before he can finish, Luke's darting off and getting lost in throngs of brightly dressed people. Calum laughs a little, watching the way Ashton's mouth drops open in surprise. Michael realizes the meeting is apparently over and darts away too, probably to go chat up a drag queen or whatever he's into today. Ashton scoffs loudly and ignores Calum's giggles.

"Come on, Ashy, they give you an umbrella with your shot!" Calum says excitedly, tangling his fingers with Ashton's and pulling him towards the bar. Ashton stumbles along behind him, then frowns as soon as Calum elbows his way up to the bar. He orders two shots and grins over at Ashton, who still looks skeptical about the whole situation.

"Cal, I'm not really-" Ashton cuts off when the bright pink shots are placed in front of them. He narrows his eyes at the small umbrellas and practically glowing pink alcohol, quirking an eyebrow at the cherry stem sticking out, then glances at Calum. "What even is this?"

Calum shrugs and smiles and throws the shot back without a problem. He chews the cherry happily and dumps the stem back into the glass, while Ashton continues eyeing his shot suspiciously. Calum grabs the small glass and brings it up to Ashton's mouth, pressing the rim against Ashton's lips while the older boy looks at him in disapproval.

"It's not that bad!" Calum shouts over the heavy bass line of the song. "I swear, Ash, it's actually really good! Might look gay, might feel gay, but it's awesome!" Ashton quirks a tiny bit of a smile at that and opens his mouth to allow Calum to pour the shot in. Calum stops the cherry with his index finger and tilts his head back to place it in his own mouth instead.

"Hey!" Ashton laughs and jabs him in the side, forcing a laugh from Calum, who eats the cherry anyway and hands Ashton the stem with a shit eating grin splitting his face in half. Ashton smiles fondly and hooks an arm around Calum's waist easily. He presses his lips to Calum's ear and yells, "Help me keep an eye on Mikey and Luke, okay?"

Calum rolls his eyes. "Let them be, Ashton! They'll find us if they have a problem!" Ashton huffs and pulls his phone out with his free hand. He checks to make sure it's on vibrate, which gives Calum a look at his lock screen. It's a picture of the four of them in their genderflux shirts and what Calum has deemed as their "queer" outfits. The clothes they'd come out in at the press conference. It makes Calum smile and press his face into Ashton's shoulder.

Ashton places a kiss to the top of his head and says, "I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick, alright? I'll be back in a bit!" Calum nods and turns back to the bar as soon as Ashton let's go of his waist and disappears into the crowd of skirt wearing boys. He orders another two shots and starts sipping at his while waiting for Ashton.

He spins on his heels, leaning against the edge of the bar, and scans the crowd lazily. He's not looking for anyone in particular, but his lips still tilt up into a smile when he finds a familiar heard of blonde hair tucked into someone's neck, hands gripping at a foreign man's back and waist tightly. At least Luke's having fun.

He trails his eyes over the crowd, observing all the wild clothing and bright make up. Calum thinks leopard print and furry boots are overrated. He isn't very fond of thongs, either. Or glowing wigs. There's a few cringe worthy outfits, but most of them make Calum blush with jealousy or want. He finds his eyes searching wildly for Michael, just because he wants to torture himself and see who the boy is flirting with.

Instead, he finds Ashton. Who is very much not in the bathroom.

Instead, Ashton's pressed tightly against the wall, boxed in by two thick looking arms planted on either side of his neck. They're connected to a huge man, taller than Luke and more built than the four of them combined. Which isn't really saying much, honestly. Ashton's frowning with his eyebrows furrowed, staring at the huge man as he talks. The man ducks down suddenly and pushes his face into Ashton's neck, like he's crying or laughing or something, but then Calum squints and realizes he's kissing Ashton's throat.

Ashton must realize the same thing, because his eyes widen in terror and he starts shoving the man by the shoulders, trying and failing to get the huge guy away from him. Instead of moving, he places a huge hand right on top of Ashton's crotch and starts moving it. Ashton looks like he's yelling, but he's all the way across the club and Calum can't hear him.

Calum's horrified by now. Ashton looks completely terrified. He's still shoving and squirming, but the man looks three times as big as him and it's not working.

Before Calum can even slide off his chair, a head of platinum blonde is bounding over, a small hand outstretching to tap on the man's shoulder. He detaches himself from Ashton and turns around, just as Michael swings a fist out and punches him directly in the face. Calum scrambles away from the bar and started darting through the crowd to get to the three of them. He's known Michael for over ten years and he's never seen him hit anyone so hard in all that time.

Calum manages to get there just as Luke and three members of security do. Calum grabs Ashton's jaw first, forcing him to look up and frowning at the terrified look he gets in response. Ashton shoves him away with hands on his chest and jerks back against the wall protectively. He holds his hands against his chest and Calum can barely even breathe, because Ashton's afraid of him.

He frowns and glances over to find Michael grimacing in pain, eyes squeezed shut and blood pouring down his upper lip and chin. He's making some sort of half assed attempt to catch the blood in his hands, but it's not going very well, considering there's so much.

Calum figures he must have gotten punched before anyone could get to the small fight, which seems to have gone unnoticed by the rest of the drag queens and partiers. The security has dragged the man away, leaving Luke to fret over Michael's possibly broken nose. He pops the clasp on his little clutch and pulls out a tiny package of tissues, which has Michael grinning and grimacing with blood stained teeth and a pained expression. Before Calum can even ask if he's alright, Ashton darts forward and flings his arms around Calum's neck, tugging him close and propping his head over Calum's shoulder.

Calum stumbles, but manages to catch both of them, with his hands around Ashton's ribs tightly.

"He knew who I was," Ashton says, almost too quiet for Calum to hear over the pounding club music. "He knew I was- he said it was unnatural to- he said he was going to fix my sex drive- I- I-" Ashton starts stuttering incoherently and Calum feels angry burning hot through his veins. He grips Ashton closer and grits his teeth, trying his hardest not to track down whoever the fuck that guy was and kick his ass. Like he could.

He pulls Ashton impossibly closer and whispers, "Come on, Ash, let's go."

((This fic is so important to me. This isn't about 5sos anymore. This is about you guys figuring out your genders and sexualitites. This is about all of you realizing yourselves and being happy with who you are. This is about you, all 16,000 of you, falling in love with who you are and realizing that it's okay to be a little gay or a little straight or a little non gendered. This crappy, extrenuous, trashy fic is about you being you, whoever that may be.

And I love you.

I love you for you, no matter who you are, who you identify as, or who you want to be. I love you and all your comments and your support. I love you for everything you've ever said to me.

Me + you guys forever <3

-Mel)) ((Yes I would like some wine with my cheese))