Hey lovely people!

All my lovely readers, thanks for the lovely support! Both new and old readers I appreciate you all!

This is a chapter out of the blue as my university life is making a zombie out of me. Anyway, I thought giving you a chapter is better than nothing at all. So hope you enjoy and that my story is worth your time :) There's so much to unfold!

Much love
Shona

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A story to me means a plot where there is some surprise. Because that is how life is - full of surprises.

Isaac Bashevis

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Calm down Sana, calm down. Think! Just think. The more you struggle the more oxygen loss. Trying to put aside the panic I am feeling at the moment I try to think logically. I can by now make out that the person trying to strangle me is standing on my left. Gasping in the dust filled air from the pillow pressed against me I try to enrich my veins with oxygen.

Without thinking through and with all the force I can gather I quickly kick towards the person who actually stumble with a wimp, in these quick seconds I roll over to the other side of the bed and gasp for air with my heart pumping my blood maniacally.

"Help!" I scream with all the force my oxygen deprived lungs can gather while quickly standing on my feet facing the intruder. I turn on the table lamp as fast as I can and my eyes widens as I get a glimpse of his frustrated face. Watching him as he tries to come towards me I scream with a drumming heart. "Help!" I scream again. "Shawn!"

Yousef seem alert and halts at the other side of the bed, he throws the pillow he just tried to strangle with me on the bed casually. "Shut up!" I frown by the fact that he think he can hush me. "Your precious softy isn't even at home." Yousef suddenly smiles widely. "In fact all the five softies has left and your precious will be back by tomorrow." How is that possible? How can Shawn be so stupid to leave me alone? On second thought, he isn't my bodyguard. For Gods sake Sana, he is your kidnapper.

"Where is your family?" I ask Yousef worriedly while he runs a hand through his brown hair.

"They're downstairs reading Quran." He shrugs. "The praying room is isolated I don't think they can hear you." He nonchalantly fixes his collard shirt.

This make my blood go cold. "What have I even done to you?" I hear myself ask with a rasp voice.

He stares at me for a brief second. "Nothing." I look at him confused. "I just don't like you, I have heard a bit of your actions." He says and I think of the day at the madrasa when I spoke against their Imam. "And you're not a good influence on the women in this household." He adds sourly which actually makes me bubble with anger. What's with people and judging me? And what's with people and being so narrow minded, Islam teaches to not judge.

We have a staring competition in the dimly lighted room as both of us are alerted of each others actions and highly aware of each others presence. While breathing heavily I open my mouth. "So you kill everyone you have a problem with?" I ask knowing that I am entering danger zone.

He furrows his eyebrows. "Wow, how long did it take for you to realize that?" He asks rolling his pitch black eyes.

"And you call yourself a muslim? Muslims aren't allowed to kill, even during war they are not allowed to kill children, woman and the aged. So what's more important, looking like a muslim or acting like a Muslim?" I ask him which he fumes to. "Tell me from which angle do you look like a Muslim? Oh wait, that reminds me, there's no certain way a Muslim looks like! That's stereotyping! Everyone has the right to take their own steps to the right path and fight their own inner demons!" I sneer at him. "More importantly where's your iman, faith?" I ask him trying to give him a different perspective but instead he clenches his jaw.

"Now a little bitch will teach me what a Muslim is?" He asks through gritted teeth. "I'll show you where you stand in Islam." He starts to walk around the bed which makes my heart accelerate and I quickly climb the bed and he halts.

I need him at the opposite side of the bed so I can run out of the room. "What's your problem? Can't you freaking argue with valid points?" I ask him frustrated. "What kind of a Muslim man are you? You're not allowed to touch or hit a non-mehram, a woman who's not your lawful!" I say just to keep him away from me even though I am quite sure he won't care.

He grins standing at the edge of the bed. "Well let's make you my mahram for a night." He smirks and all the color drains from my face, if he means what I think he is meaning, for me he is definitely not a Muslim and not a man either.

Grimacing disgusted I inhale a deep breath before sprinting towards the door with adrenaline rushing through me. I reach the handle and just as I am about to open the door my hair is pulled mercilessly. My head snaps backwards and one of my hand reach my hair while the other one is grabbed by a big rough hand.

I give out a scream but he quickly covers my mouth and grabs me by my waist so my back collides with his chest. Clawing his hand and kicking the door I give my all to get away from his grip. "The more you struggle, the more fun for me." He whispers into my ear satisfied while my eyes widen and pools up by the double meaning of his words.

He pulls me towards the bed and I give out a kick backwards. "Bitch." He actually lose some balance and I run but he grabs my arm and pulls me again. Hitting him and clawing him I try to get away. Every single action is taking place in seconds and I am confused at my own state. The door suddenly opens and Yousefs brown hair shines in the brighter light while his face suddenly twists. I turn around with my arm still in his hand and see a perplexed Shawn.

"What's going on?" He asks and tears stream down my cheeks.

Yousef opens his mouth leaving my arm. "She tried to seduce me." He accuses and my head snaps towards him in disgust and suddenly a loud noise can be heard.

Apparently I slapped him hard as he holds onto his red flaming cheek. "You little bitch." He tries to get a hold of me again but before he can do anything I grab the heavy glass jug beside the bed table and smash it to pieces on his head which makes him fall on the bed.

Realizing my action I gasp seeing blood dripping from a shrieking Yousef. "Shit." I hear Shawn behind me and I tremble upon my own action.

How could I do that? While I stare at a bleeding Yousef with horror I hear Shawn open and closing the closet behind me.

Suddenly I feel a hand in mine and I look up into Shawns eyes, concerned eyes? "What are you waiting for? Let's go!" He orders whisper yelling as we try to read each other. "Come on!" He drags me now and I start to run with him with our hands linked. "Don't trip." He alerts me when running down the stairs.

Once downstairs he grabs my shoes and we run out with them in his hands, the gravelly path making me grimace. I pant for air once beside the car. Shawn opens the front passenger door for me and hands me my shoes and a sport bag . Closing the door with a loud thud he circulates the car jogging and takes his seat. Adam is sleeping soundly in the backseat, while I take my shoes on Shawn ignites the car and we are once again on the road.

I stare at the black canvas with stars filled, no emotions are available in me. Feeling totally dead inside the silent car ride gives me flashbacks of my life.

"Mommy, why can't I get a star?" I asked my beautiful mom when I was a child, we were outside the car under the breezy night sky while my dad was changing a flat tire.

My mom chuckled. "Because the stars belongs to the sky. Without it the sky would be so dark and gloomy. And maybe also scary. You see the night needs the stars as the stars lights up the night sky to make us fall in love with the dark and admiring it and the stars need the night sky to be able to shine brightly, this way we can get a glimpse of the beautiful balance between dark and light, as the balance between good and bad."

"But one star won't hurt." I said stubbornly.

"Lets say I have three stars, you, your dad and the baby in my belly. If someone wanted one of my stars do you think I would be able to give away one of them?" I shook my head at the horrible thought of my mother needing to be without one of us.

The car comes to a abrupt halt making me dart forward, thankfully I have my seatbelt on. Taking in my surrounding blankly I make out that we're beside a lake close to a wood. Without looking at Shawn I can feel his gaze on me. "What was that? Is it true?" I can't stand more bullshit right now and walk out of the car slamming the door too late to remember that Adam is sleeping in the car.

The nights cold catches me and a shiver runs down my spine. Without any destination or any thought I start to walk away from the car walking beside the glittering river with crossed arms. I hear the car ignite and decide not to look back, the noise from the car comes closer and closer. Once beside me the car moves at the same rate as me. Turning around abruptly I walk the other way. This time I hear the engine die and the door open, ignoring it I keep walking. The door closes and I can hear quick steps behind me.

Grabbing my arm he turns me to face him. "What's your." Shawn starts but I push him away from me by his chest without warning.

He looks at me perplexed but masks it with anger. "What's my problem huh?" I hit him slapping my fists on his chest. "What the heck is your problem?" Anger mixed with frustration pumps through my veins. "All of this is your fault!" I say with a shaky voice while hitting him, suddenly all emotions starts to spur inside me. "First you kidnap me, fine." I say and throw another punch at him and he stands firm. "Then you let me stay with a unknown family, great." Another punch on his chest with all the force I can gather and he clenches his jaw. "Then you leave me all alone with that family, superb!" I scream and take a hold on his shirt. "Thanks to you I am away from home and I am a total mess." Whispering I bend down my head and cry my heart out.

My inner have never been in such tremor and I let all my frustration out with my tears. While sobbing I feel a hand pat me on my back awkwardly. Grimacing I realize that I am clutching on to him. I let go abruptly as I turn towards the river taking a few steps away from him. My tears seem to flow as one with the glittering river while a cold breeze passes.

Clearing his throat he stands beside me. "I am sorry." I have never before heard him use that word.

Hearing him say that I thought would give me some ease but to be honest it doesn't have any value right now. We both just stare silently at the flowing river with nature providing us different harmonic music to our ears.

"You were right all along." He says with tired voice which makes me shift my gaze.

He turns his head to catch my eyes and looks into them as if debating to spill the beans or not. Staring into my eyes intensely giving me goosebumps his next words takes me by storm. "I am not a Muslim."