Hi guys!!

So the next chapter is here now! I won't be able to update until after Eid so Eid Mubarak to all of you who are celebrating <3 And happy holidays or have a nice time to everyone else who don't celebrate <3

This chapter is one of my favorite for some odd reason even though it feels like a filler, but I don't know let us see what you guys think :)

Thank you guys for all the love and support, as always it means the world to me.

Love
Shona <3

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Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

- Uknown

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Looking down on my sweaty palms I try to compose myself. If I go nervous in front of Shawn or act odd, he'll notice my uneasiness. Right now, I need to keep myself focused and believe that everything is alright. No matter how hard it is for me to keep the bad thoughts away, I will have to do so.

Shawns sister Mia and her husband are held hostages by the U.S. government. The deal was that if Shawn completes the mission then they'll be released. They got kidnapped almost two years ago and now when the mission is done the headquarter is avoiding the topic. Shawn has tried to contact them but he always get incomplete answers and is told that they'll contact him soon, which I have my doubts about.

I told Javed, Zaki, Ibrahim and Saeed to help Shawn get some information about them as soon as they arrived. My siblings and Adam are playing with each other upstairs while my parents are at work.

The boys seemed a bit surprised about the new revelation as Shawn has been very much private about his personal life. They surely agreed to help but Zaki frankly told us that it wasn't his cup of tea to hack into the governments confidential system as it is pretty much tightly secured. So instead of wasting time in hacking into the system the boys are making calls to people they know in the department to extract information. However, it was a bit harder than they had thought as Mias case was really off the records as if she didn't even exist.

Javed is pacing back and forth across the living room with his mobile glued to his ear. Zaki is located on the couch with crossed legs and his computer on his thighs. While Saeed and Ibrahim are trying to gain answers through the headquarter with Shawn.

"Okay so I have found a loophole." Zaki finally brings some good news looking up from his laptop and we all stop doing what we were doing, well I was just observing them in the first place. "My friend Nicolas is one who works closely with the odd cases and he has said that he has access to the classified materials." All of us listen attentively while letting Zaki inform us. "He will run a search right now as we speak but it will take awhile before he can gather some valuable information." This is actually illegal but I don't care right now.

"How long is awhile?" I inquire impatiently.

Zaki seem unsure. "Everything from a few minutes up to an hour." He estimates hesitantly and I nod.

"That's reasonable." I sigh, please Allah make this go by fast.

The clock ticks by slowly and I count every second, my heart is beating painfully fast due to the anticipation. If I am feeling this way then how must Shawn be feeling? My eyes automatically finds him and he seem lost in thoughts starring at the ceiling leaning back on the couch. At first he was confused of why I was doing all of this. The only answer I had was that he deserves to know about his sister and that I owe him this much, not that I am doing anything as it is the boys who are working hard.

Making some hot cocoa for everyone and serving them I sit down nervously again. "Yes! He has sent me some info, let me check." Zaki says with a huge grin making my heart skip a beat.

Alhamdulillah, thank you God, I breathe out in relief putting away my cocoa on the table and wait for Zaki to continue. "So how is she?" I press while wiping my sweaty palms on my black jeans.

"Finally, can you see where she is? And what they have labeled her case as?" Shawn inquires now beaming while walking up to Zaki.

"Give me a second." Zaki smiles innocently and focuses on his laptop scanning the document he has received.

Suddenly Zakis smile fades and all the color drains from him leaving him oddly pale. "Zaki?" I whisper while I can sense something horribly wrong and my heart starts to pain.

Zaki doesn't move or respond. I share a worried glance with Javed and he seem as anxious as me. Shawn shakes him by his shoulder. "Zaki! What's wrong?" Shawn inquires angst-ridden. "Is she alright?" The words leaves his lips as a mere whisper and his voice breaks.

Zaki stares at Shawn as if he has seen a ghost. "I am." Zaki starts stammering. "Sorry." Zakis eyes instantly wells up and the words slaps me across the face making my own eyes water.

"Zaki!? Let me see." Javed grabs the laptop and starts to read.

My eyes are set on Shawn not leaving him for a second, he is standing frozen to his spot in front of Javed and Zaki with a distant gaze. Ibrahim and Saeed stands beside Shawn as guards exchanging worried looks. My hands starts to shake, I don't know how Shawn is going to act if something has happened to his sister.

Javed hands back the laptop to Zaki and hesitantly stands up to face Shawn. "What happened?" Shawn calmly inquires now snapping out of his trans.

Javed seem to be at a loss of words and fumbles. "They had Mia and your brother-in-law in Guantanamo." I frown upon registering his words, this is just getting odder and odder, why on earth would she be held there?

Shawn seem as perplexed as me. "What? Why would they do that? It doesn't even make sense? She wasn't a terrorist or a suspect for any crime." Shawn questions astonished. "I'll call the head office and tell them to free her right now! This is stupid." Shawn fumes and runs a hand down his black hair rigidly.

"She is not there now." Zaki whispers, before Shawn can get access to his phone, making all of our head snap towards him.

Shawns eyes darts between Javed and Zaki. "Then where is she now?" He asks with a frown and his eyes is a shade darker due to rage clouding them.

Javed takes a shaky deep breath and bores his eyes into Shawns. "Tahoma National Cemetery." Javeds words leaves shakily and a heavy silence falls upon all of us while the words echoes in my ears. A thick cloud of tension surrounds us and I gulp down the pain in my throat but that doesn't stop my warm tears from falling.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un, surely we belong to Allah and to him shall we return.

Shawn seem taken aback and takes a step back from Javed to bump into Ibrahim who stables him. Shawn stares at Javed in horror. "What is she doing there?" Shawn inquires still not comprehending the fact that she is gone.

Javed looks down and hides his face in his hands. Shawn eyes us all perplexed as if we have lost it. He locks his eyes with me while his brows are furrowed. "Why are you crying?!" He whisper-yells and I close my eyes not being able to face him while my tears streams down my face. "You are all so weird. I'll just call our head officer he'll help me to reach Mia." My eyes snaps open hearing his words and I watch him in horror. "This is ridiculous." My heart starts to hammer while he grabs his phone.

"Shawn." Saeed tries to catch his attention.

"What?" Shawn snaps with glossy eyes, fire evident in them.

Ibrahim takes hold of Shawns shoulders. "Shawn, please try to understand. You won't get your sister back." he tries again but Shawn shakes his head in frustration.

"Why would you say so?" He inquires hurt. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because she is dead." The words leaves my lips brutally, echoing in every corner of the room. Shawn stares at me baffled and gapes at me while my heart is hurting. I just stand there with my hands hanging to my sides feeling helpless and cruel while tears streams down my face. I have never seen Shawn so disoriented which actually pains me. "I am sorry but she is no more Shawn." I full on cry with my hand over my heart, my throat is burning while my heart is aching.

My heart hurts for both Shawn and Adam. Adam, my baby, has lost his parents at such a young age and barely carries any memories with him of them. Shawn doesn't say a word and just stare at me, I feel horrible.

With no warning Shawn turns on his heels and storms out and I gasp shocked. "No! Shawn!" I run after him without thinking, he is not in a state to be alone.

The boys calls after me but I block them out. Quickly slipping into my sandals I go after a distraught Shawn. He stops on the pavement shaking his head and then just emptily stares at the road as if contemplating something. Suddenly he starts to shake and lifts his hands to his head. Holding his head tightly he gives out a loud scream making me jump on my spot at the impact. "No." He screams again. "This can't be happening. This can't be happening. It has to be a sick joke." Shawn chants and I try to mute my sobs with my hand.

Taking away my hand I try to muster some gut to speak to him. "Shawn, everything will be alright. Your sister was a good human being and I am sure she is in a better place right now." I can see it in him that he is blocking me out, my words aren't reaching him. He runs his hands down his face. What should I do?! I feel so helpless.

Shawn abruptly turns around on the pavement and hurries to his car. I follow him closely as I am not letting him drive off alone. He opens the car door and I do the same at the opposite side. When he sits down absentminded, I do the same. I don't even think he is noticing me. "Shawn?" I call out to him but I gain no response which scares me beyond understanding.

Driving the car in full speed I am afraid he'll lose control over the car any minute. I tightly hold on to the car door and eye him worriedly. "Shawn?" I try to reach him again but he doesn't even flinch.

He has a blank expression and is solely focusing all his senses on the road. When we finally halt I mumble a Alhamdulillah, thank you God, that we made it without any accident. He hurries out of the car and so do I not knowing where we are heading.

He walks in to a building and I try to match my steps with his, we end up in a apartment which I assume is Shawns judging by the name on the door. With shaky steps I follow him in to the apartment not aware of how to act. Shawn halts in the middle of the hallway and stares down on the floor as if all the energy is drained out of him. He seem lifeless and I contemplate if I should walk up to him.

In a matter of seconds my hands flies to my ears while I gasp in fear. Shawn smashes a vase in to the wall and I scream. "No! Stop it!" I can hear myself scream but Shawn is lost in his own world.

Consumed in anger he aimlessly throws everything in his reach. Shell shocked and glued to my spot I just stare at him while he continues to tore down the apartment piece by piece. When not finding anything more in the hallway and the living room he strides towards the kitchen. "Shawn please no! Listen to me!" I cry while following him.

He literally doesn't even seem to register my presence as if I am not even existing. Soon every content in the cabinets is on the floor and in the middle of the mess stands a devastated brother.

Shawn leans on the counter with his head hanging down. The silence in the room soon fills with sobs which makes its way straight to my heart, shattering it as if it was made of glass. "Why?" He questions to no one in particular. "Why me?" All my emotions goes numb and I just stare at a crying Shawn not knowing what to do.

Shawn turns his back to me and slides down to the floor. My feet automatically carries me to him, his knees are pulled to his chest and his head buried in his hands. I kneel down next to him with my heart drumming insanely in my chest and hesitantly place my hand on his shoulder. His red eyes due to all the crying darts up surprised to find mine. His usually sharp blue eyes are now gloomy as he stares at me. It seem like his brain just registered me.

Without warning Shawn engulfs me in a bone crushing hug which causes pain to bolt up on my chest as the wound is still fresh. With wide eyes I go rigid while I try to not give away my discomfort. My hands are hanging either side of me and my breathing system falters while he cries into my shoulder.

"This can only happen to me. Why Sana, why?" Shawn cries and my hands flies up but stops in midair, Sana no. "They blackmailed me, used me and even though I obeyed they took my everything away from." Shawns sobs are killing me from within and tears escapes my eyes. "Adam? How will I explain to him about why he never got the chance to know his parents? Why he doesn't have any memories of them?" He cries and my heart breaks over and over again. "I can't do this anymore, I am fed up." This time, not thinking straight, my hands encircles him to console him.

I hug him dearly as if our life depends on it. "You have to be strong!" I try to encourage but my voice breaks. "At least for Adams sake." Shawns tears are slowly creating a pool on my shoulder.

Without saying another word I let him cry. He needs to venture his emotions in order to not go insane, he need to grief. When Shawn seem to be out of tears and a bit more composed he goes rigid.

Well, I guess he just noticed who he poured his heart and soul out to. Awkwardly we let go off each other and I straighten my shirt while placing myself beside him, tucking away my hair behind my ears. Leaning my back on the brown cabinet I aimlessly stare at the stove in front of me feeling empty.

"I'll blow up the whole Parliament in to dust." Shawn says monotonously.

I shake my head. "No, you're not going to fall to the same level as them. You will work to change the system, to make the world a better place and you will believe that there is a reason behind why your dear ones has been taken away from you." I automatically pour out my mind to him and hope he takes me seriously.

Shawn sighs and leans back to rest his head on the cabinet. "When I was a few years older than Adam, I used to cry every night and ask Mia why our parents were taken away from us. She would always say that God calls back his precious angels earlier as he also miss them. They died in a car accident when I was ten and Mia fourteen. She did everything to keep me with her and raised me. Even though I turned out to be a introvert and a rebel, Mia was the one person that I couldn't stand to hurt. She was my everything and had a pure soul, she was a copy of our mother. When she got married to Derek, my brother-in-law who was a doctor, Mia insisted to keep me with her but I declined. It was high time to let my sister live the family life she deserved and that I stood on my own feet. Seeing her happy made me happy and she was my sole reason to live. And now my reason to live is gone." Shawn shares his thoughts and emotions with me, making me silently cry even more.

I gulp down the painful lump in my throat. "Don't say that, please. You still have Adam. He needs you the way you needed Mia." I try to make him see from a different perspective.

"I remember my parents used to say that as long as we have each other everything is going to fall in place." Shawn chuckles humorlessly and shakes his head. "I am tired Sana. Everyone I care for or have given me a reason to live is taken away from me. First my parents, then Mia and then almost." Shawns eyes widens and he quickly closes his mouth which makes me look at him suspiciously.

Shawn seem tongue tied. "And then almost?" I inquire with a neutral expression.

Shawn quickly shakes his head. "Thank God I still have Adam." He adds and I nod with a small smile.

"Exactly, don't ever forget that he needs you." I try to install that one thought in him with a raspy voice.

We finally decide to drive back to me as everyone is still there waiting for us. Shawn said he'll appoint cleaners to take care of the mess in his home even though I offered to help him.

We don't even make it to the doorway before the door opens and the boys engulf Shawn in a group hug. The cute gesture makes me smile while I stand there with crossed arms observing their bond. Shawn doesn't repulse instead he accepts their sympathy. They try to cheer him up and assures him that they're with him in every step of life. Seeing him a bit happier brings joy to my heart and lightens up my spirit.

I can't help to think about everything that has occurred from the first day I met Shawn till this date. I remember the day he kidnapped me, I preferred to die then follow him. I can't help to chuckle at my silliness, if I had died then how would I have come to know about the broken man in front of me? How would I have befriended the adorable souls? My journey has been extra ordinary to say the least and has shown me a whole different world. Most importantly I have come closer to my creator. I have come to know that whatever happens truly happens for a reason and that Gods plan is the greatest.

I wish Adam and Shawn the best in life. This life is not permanent which is why we should be living life to the fullest and never take each other for granted, as who knows when death knocks at your doorstep?

When my parents are back from work and I inform them about the bitter truth they rush to comfort a now much more calmer Shawn. My parents hugs him, my mom plants a kiss on his head and even my dad seem to have grown a soft corner for Shawn.

After dinner when everyone is in the living room waiting for the tea I am making, Javed comes to company me. "Hey, how is he now?" I inquire with a soft smile referring to Shawn.

Javeds green eyes are intently resting on me and I feel a bit uneasy. It seems like he is searching for something inside my soul. "You don't see it do you?" Javed finally asks which makes me confused.

"Don't see what?" I question back with furrowed eyebrows.

His next words make my heart rate accelerate and I stare at him dumbfounded. "How much Shawn cares for you and how much Adam needs you?" His stern voice hits me as a bucket of cold water while he emphasizes the word cares, what's that supposed to mean?