Salammalaykum or Hi to all of my readers!

Thank you so much for everything! <3 You guys have been so adorable that I am overwhelmed so tried to quickly give another chapter! So here it is ;) (Not proof read though!)

Hope you enjoy <3

Love
Shona <3

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No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.

Steve Jobs

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My head feels so light and the bed beneath me so soft, I take hold of my head with my hands to slowly open my burning eyes. The sharp bright light gives my eyes a hard time to adjust. Where am I? I slowly heave myself up and see myself in a beautiful faded pink dress. The dress is only reaching my knees and my bare legs is glowing radiantly in a soft bronze color.

What catches my attention is the shiny polished green grass I am resting on. Encircling me is all kind of beautiful flowers and a smile breaks through my lips while my nostrils fills with a heavenly perfume. I make myself stand up and the weather is perfect, I look at my flawless wavy hair looking more nutritious than ever. Twirling around I chuckle radiantly feeling euphoria and liberated, this is how summers should be like.

My eyes suddenly halts on this girl who seem to have appeared out of the blue. She is standing in front of a full length mirror in a beautiful white wedding gown quite a distance away from me. "Perfect." I mumble while I step towards her with curiosity taking over, I haven't seen her face yet.

Suddenly sharp heartbreaking sounds of crying and wailing echoes in the garden and I get paralyzed, seed of fear carves a path to my heart. Who are crying? Why are they crying? Ignoring the sudden disturbing cries I focus my eyes solely on the girl and walk to her with timid steps not knowing what to expect, my heart is drumming violently. The sounds of crying get louder and I can hear my name being called, with a frown I continue to focus on the girl in her breathtaking wedding gown.

One more step and I stand right behind her with my eyes wide open, my hand reaches my mouth from where a small gasp leaves. My eyes darts between me, and well me. However, me in the mesmerizing wedding gown with a pitch perfect diamond tiara seem happy with twinkling eyes and a shy smile playing on her or my lips. I can't help to block out the frustrating swirling sounds around me and lighthearted smile in admiration.

Suddenly a piercing sound is heard and the smile on the bride fades, instead horror is inflicted in her expression while her white gown is now stained with crimson liquid. Staring at her with panic the crying and wailing sound dominates my senses, I shut my eyes tightly while covering my ears with my palms. Feeling numb I fall back on the soft green grass and let darkness engulfs me.

I can feel something poking my cheek. A bright light is burning through my eyelids and my body feels awfully heavy. A pain shoots up through my chest and I growl in pain. What is going on? Fighting my heavy eyelids I finally manage to slowly open my eyes and the first thing my mind register is Adam. Smiling warmly at the small child with huge curious blue eyes, he's a carbon copy of his uncle, I try to form words with my dry lips. "Hi baby." I manage to squeeze out with a hoarse voice.

"Sana is awake!" Adam beams and I wince, no offence but my head is right now hurting very badly.

He runs out of the room and I notice that I am in a dull hospital room. What's going on? What was that weird dream about? My memory seem slower than ever giving me hints of what had occurred, I remember home, Shawn, Grand hotel, oh-o right, Yousef.

My head pains while I lay on the hospital bed devastated while the recent memories hits me one by one. The door suddenly opens in a haste and in view comes a heavily breathing Shawn with Adam in his arm, his eyes are glossy but his expression isn't giving anything away. A doctor rushes past Shawn with a nurse close behind while my family and friends are seen shortly joining Shawn.

The doctor examines me for a while and enlightens me in the process that the bullet hit my rib closest to my heart. That's what more or less saved me from more brutal injuries. Later he let me meet and greet with my family. Tiredly I just smile while I get hugged, kissed and pampered. My two cute baby siblings comes to visit me and hands me handmade get well soon cards, they're so adorable.

Adam is sitting in Shawns lap while observing me. All kind of friends, acquaintances and well wisher visits me. I don't say so much while listening to everyone's soothing words and smile then and now while thanking them for coming. When Javed and the boys comes, Shawn leaves somewhere for almost an hour. When visiting hours are over, Adam comes to me and kisses me on my cheek. "I have missed you Sana, get well soon!" The five year old child says making my heart tug for him.

A tear leaves my eye. "I have missed you too. I'll meet you soon." I smile towards him with a heavy head and he wipes away my tear making me chuckle in the process, Javed softly picks him up.

Shawn has insisted on staying here with me so my family can be together at home and get some rest. My parents didn't agree at first but he managed to persuade them by saying that this was the least he could do.
My mom gave him a earful about how I trusted my life with him but I managed to make her understand that it wasn't Shawns fault.

When we came to know from Zaki that Shawn didn't hesitate to shot my wrongdoer she softened while I fell from above, I thought Yousef had committed suicide. Shawns eyes gave away more than they usually do, I could see the guilt straight in them and the way he avoided eye contact with me. My heart bled for him as I didn't want him to feel responsible for something he couldn't prevent. When everyone leaves I stare at a uncomfortable Shawn who is busy with his phone. "That's it? You're just going to ignore me?" I finally muster to confront him.

Shawn goes stiff hearing my voice. "I am not ignoring you." He says still looking down on his hands.

My eyebrows shoots up. "You're not even looking at me and you haven't said a word to me until now." Shawn slowly puts away his phone and finally takes a good look at me, his blue eyes seem dull while hurt flickers in them when taking in my state.

And now when I think about it we should be lowering our gazes, smart Sana very smart.

"Try to get some rest." He says and goes to stand beside the window giving me his back.

I know guilt is eating him from the inside which makes my heart clench. "Shawn, it wasn't your fault. You can't change what's written in my destiny. Thank you so much for everything, you saved me by rushing me to the hospital in time." I softly try to reach him but he doesn't respond. "Is Yousef alive?" I instead question hesitantly breaking the silence.

That makes Shawn abruptly turn towards me. "If you for a second feel bad for him or care for him then I'll leave." He warns me with his index finger and I shake my head.

"It is not that Shawn, I don't care for him but I don't want to be responsible for his death." I calmly try to make him understand.

Shawn just stares at me with disbelief and finally shakes his head. "Don't worry, unfortunately he is alive and has a severe amnesia. His whole long term memory is damaged while his short time memory is, well, short." He enlightens me bitterly.

"Oh." I manage to say without any empathy. "Well, I guess he can start afresh and maybe redeem." I shrug and a pain bolts up to my chest, why did I have to move?

A grimace adorns my features. "Are you alright?" Shawn inquires with worry laced in his voice and expression, which is so rare to witness that it feels odd, I nod to assure him. "Get some sleep. Good night." He gives me a soft smile which fills my heart with warmth, he should smile more often.

Making myself comfortable I tuck myself in bed with a yawn. "Good night." I murmur back to him and my body falls into slumber which I awfully craved for.

The past few days has been incredibly boring. I am only allowed to eat plain hospital food, lay in bed and occasionally walk. My progress is overall good but the stitches need to heal a little more before they discharges me and for some reason I am quite weak. Shawn has been by my side constantly and is a major support for my family.

However, I have noticed that he disappears when I have company for longer time and when I ask him about his whereabouts he acts odd. I just hope everything is alright with him and that nothing is troubling him.

My friends Anita, Linda, Hanna and Diana has been visiting me regularly. They were curious about my kidnapping story and I told them my crazy journey, my word sounded so exaggerated as if I was making events up. The funny thing is, it all had actually happened. Shawn had been very harsh in the beginning and just the mere memory of him hurting me brought tears to my eyes.

What I was a bit annoyed over was the fact that my friends found a certain group of boys cute, I just rolled my eyes as my friends acted weird around Javed, Saeed, Zaki, Ibrahim and Shawn. Shawn was the center of attraction though. I guess the dangerous edge his personality carries make heads turn involuntary, not to forget his uniq blue eyes which are admirable.

Shawn has just a while ago helped me comb my hair as I am not even able to lift my arms without pain bolting up making me cold sweat in the process. "Shawn I am bored." I complain while browsing the television, he is sitting on the visitors chair reading something on his phone.

My family is at work and school while I am stuck here, great. "What do you want to do?" Shawn looks up at me with his intense blue eyes focused on my boring ones.

I want to shrug but refrain from doing it as I have learned the hard way that it hurts. "Anything fun." That's the best my mind manages to produce at the moment.

Shawn blankly stares at me. "Define fun." He urges me.

How do you define fun? "Shawn, like playing games or taking a walk or eating ice-cream." I say incoherently.

Shawn seem annoyed. "Sana, what are you? Like ten? Do I have to explain to you that you can't be playing around right now as you're not in the best of states health wise?" His jaw tenses while he bores his ice-cold eyes into mine.

"I am not exactly telling you to play hide and seek with me!" I snap. "More like truth or dare and stuff, just anything." I try to reason with him, I am so fed up of having the television as my company most of the time!

Shawn ponders for a moment and without saying anything exists the room. He soon comes back with a ice-cream cone which makes my lips break out in a delightful smile. He hands it to me and I don't wait any second to attack it while he sits down beside me with a amusement evident in his eyes. "You're such a kid." He comments while I enjoy a mouthful of ice-cream.

"Want a bite?" I offer him and he shakes his head with a raised eyebrow. "Trust me you're missing on something valuable." Shawn ignores my statement and places a packet of card in front of me.

"This is the best I could come up with." He tells me and I smile.

"It's perfect." I grin childishly. "Get ready to get beaten." I smirk at him.

"Oh really?" He looks at me challenging and we start to play.

Well, I must say I am a bad loser. Every time he wins I pout and throw a tantrum whereas he is as calm as a turtle. However, I am not sure if turtles are calm but they seem calm. Ok, brain just shut up. The only thing he does is to smirk and that's enough to tick me off. "You're cheating." I accuse him sourly.

Shawn shakes his head. "I am not and you know that." He points out cleverly.

"Whatever." I mutter under my breath.

"You're just a bad player with overconfidence." He enlightens me and I gape at him.

I throw a pillow at him annoyed. "You don't need to rub it on my face! I am not playing with you anymore." I say crossing my arms on my chest, he is so rude.

Shawn sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Okay sorry, I'll let you win." He offers and I frown, what does he think of himself?

"Excuse me? Let me win? I can win by myself!" I snap at him for bruising my ego.

Shawn goes quiet as most probably he doesn't want to argue just because I am admitted in hospital. Lately, he has been more kind and patient when it comes to me.

With a sigh I lay down on my bed and turn on the television again. "My life literally sucks! God knows how long I'll be stuck in this pale room." I grumpily grumble.

"Sana please." Shawn starts to rub his temples. "Stop complaining, instead be thankful for everything and remember that God tests us with hardship for a reason." I stare at Shawn with wide eyes, did he just? "You were a few inches away from deaths grasp but still recovered, right?" I keep staring at him without blinking my eyes and holding my breath. "So you have something to be extremely grateful over." That's so true, Alhamdulillah for everything but I still can't grasp that it is all coming from Shawn.

Letting go of the breath I was holding I meet his icy curious gaze. "Thank you for the reminder." I sincerely thank him feeling ashamed, I have to study Islam more and keep track of my behavior.

Shawn gives me a smile and we shift our gaze to the news on the television. What is shown make me choke on my own spit. ISIS has stormed into a Mosque in France and murdered Muslims, on top of that it was on a Friday which is a holy day for Muslims.

Leaning back feeling devastated and disgusted I sigh. This is just horrible. "They kill Muslims, bombs Mosques, kill innocent, doesn't even know how to pray and still people think they're Muslims? Makes sense." Shawn comments appalled and I kind of find it strange.

First of all I didn't think he bothered about such things and secondly I thought ISIS was just the leading politicians ways to create chaos in the world, since when do Shawn care? Actually now when I think of it he has been commenting more on Islam, not bad things though just mere facts. I don't know what to make of it. As far as I can recollect he is an atheist and it feels strange to hear him quote religion. On the other hand I do enjoy his opinions and thoughts as they educate me.

A few days later when I am finally back home after my discharge I feel relieved and free, just like a bird. Until I receive a mail from my professors. They kindly has sent me loads of study to catch up with, including seminary, workshop, essays and other assignments. They have also been kind to give me a chance to pass my exams with online tests. With all the deadlines burdening my fragile head I just crave for a nap. No! Stop it Sana, no more excuses. Just study!

With a pen in my hand I try to extract important keywords from my textbook consisting of all kinds of drug molecules. Yawning I rest my head on my free hand while supporting my elbow on the table. I read the first sentence and reread it as the words are not forming any valuable meaning in my tired head. Rereading the first sentence almost ten times I slam the pen down and hold my head in frustration.

This is so boring! What is happening to me? I should be loving this! Why is my mind keep wandering back to the time I was kidnapped? Why does the memories give me a adrenaline rush? Why am I missing those dreadful days? The life of a spy or a officer seem so thrilling while the molecules in front of me seem everything else than fun.

Remembering the time I learnt self defense from Shawn makes my lips break into a soft goofy smile, it was actually exciting! Working with Shawn is actually not bad. Grabbing my mobile from my table I text Shawn.

Sana: I want to meet you, I am bored. Also I am craving a lot of sweets, please bring me some. Bring Adam with you, missing him. Tell him he can play with Aahil and Aaliya, they'll be home in an hour.

Shawn: There in half an hour.

Sana: Don't forget chocolates, thanks!

Half an hour later I am sitting with Adam on my lap munching on a chocolate bar while kissing him then and now. Aahil and Aaliya has still not showed up so I put on a Disney movie for a happy Adam.

Shawn is making chamomile tea for us. Handing me a cup of tea, he sits down on the couch next to me with a cup of his own. I takes a small sip of the soothing tea and clear my throat. "I want to work with you." I manage to say looking straight at Shawn, making him frown in the process. "Or just work as a spy, doesn't need to be with you specifically. The mission was really thrilling." I shares my thoughts while Shawn glares at me as if I have lost my mind.

"Have you hit your head or something?" Shawn inquires suspiciously and I roll my eyes at his dramatic attitude.

"I am serious!" Scoffing I take another sip of my tea.

Shawn keeps a natural expression to appear calm but his cold blue eyes gives his frustration away. "If you haven't caught up with the latest then I'll gladly enlighten you that I am kind of retiring. Why on earth you would want to start is a riddle for me." He let me know as a matter of fact.

"Because it gives a adrenaline rush and makes one feel important!" I add enthusiastically appearing like a birthday girl.

Shawn shakes his head as if he'll turn insane. "You have just got injured! If I have to remind you then hear me out, you just got shot! Do you know how worried I was?" Hurt and guilt is again visible in his eyes giving me the chills, his eyes intensity gives away that he isn't able to move on from the incident.

It then actually hits me that Shawn did shoot Yousef for my sake not bothering about even his own life. Guilt takes over me and I realize how much I owe Shawn. Even though his occupation seem interesting it has its many downs and can scar a person deeply, even for a lifetime. "So have you got any new information about your sister?" I change the topic stirring the liquid in the cup gently.

Shawn shakes his head. "No, I wonder when they'll finally release her." He sighs and a bad feeling creeps up to my heart, something isn't right. She should have been released by now or at least Shawn should have heard something about her. "I should have received a call from the headquarters by now." He confirms my doubts and my heart involuntary clenches, this is bad.

I really don't want Shawn suffer more than he has, he has had enough of grief in his past. I want his and Adams future to be bright. Please, let Adams parents be alright. With that I text Zaki to come over with the boys, it's high time to face reality.