He had a cold soul. A cold heart, for even if you touched his skin, you would shiver. For a man that was very much alive, his hazel eyes were lifeless. How could someone become so distant from emotions? Live without fear and love? The war had consumed him. It creeped up behind him, the more he fought the more lifeless he became. A robot doing as its told, only this one had a heartbeat. He was the one who was sent in first to clear a building. Killing everyone inside. Didn't matter to him if it was women and children. He was unaffected by their cries for mercy. He was only following orders. He would follow orders to a tee. There was no trying to be sarcastic or funny with him, he took everything seriously. It was hard to hold a conversation with him. He had no sympathy for anyone. When he talked, his voice monotone and dead. He didn't get mad, or happy or sad. If he did, no one ever saw it.

This story is about Dimitri. Not so much how the war went, but it does have a lot to do with the lifeless man. It's what helped him to become so heartless. He was a tall man, around 6'5", his strong muscular shoulders held back. His eyes were a dark hazel, though in some light they seemed almost black, they always held the same hard stare in them, never changing. He held a rugged face, small scars littered it from the jaws of war. Though you could clearly see his sculpted jaw line under the scruff on the lower part of his face under his sharp cheekbones. His nose gave an odd angle from being broken a few times. His lips were thin and always pierced together, small wrinkles wrapped around them, giving a false age. His bronze skin was rough from times of fighting and shrapnel encountering it, yet firm from the muscles underneath, with some tattoos hiding the scars on his thick arms. He was the definition of a soldier. How a soldier should look and act. A man of steel. The way he always had a hold on his weapon, ready to fire at any moment. His eyes always darting back and forth, checking for the enemy. The three years he had been in, before I came along, had brought paranoia to him as well as causing his soul to go black.

I ended up joining the platoon he was with after I got out of boot camp. I had no experience with war, nor did I know anything about the war going on, only that it had destroyed half of America, and everyone was now being drafted. I was 18 and the first female when I first joined the platoon, I could feel the coldness that radiated off him. I'm not going to lie, I was scared to death of him. After seeing him in a fire fight, I declared to never get on his bad side. He was a machine with human features. I was fascinated by him and how he became so heartless. It was a story that took me a long time to get. After 8 years of working with him, under him and beside him. We became partners, I understood him and he, well, he did his own thing. He tolerated me. It took a while, but for me it was the better achievement of my time fighting the war. His name was Jackson Dimitri. 

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A month being with my platoon, we got a mission. We would be heading one state away to infiltrate one of the supposed Chinese warehouses. It was a long drive out there, sitting in the back of a 7-ton. It did a number on our backs, but none of us complained. I was nervous, this was my first real mission. Dimitri sat next to me, hand tight on his rifle. I'm sure if he wasn't wearing gloves, you'd be able to see how white his knuckles could get. It was a long bumpy ride and we were all happy when it was over. None of us knew how long this mission would take, but we hoped we could get in and out fast. We put up camp around 2 klicks from the warehouse. We didn't want to be to close, but close enough that we could send a few spies out to gather intel. Five guys from the platoon were sent out that night. By morning they were able to tell us how to get in without being seen. The Chinese didn't seem to understand what it meant to put up security. They had started to get cocky, thinking they already won the war.

That morning we were going to blow the place. I remember Dimitri shaking my tent furiously, trying to get me up. I wanted nothing to do with it, but I know I'd get my ass whooped if I didn't get up. Dimitri and I would be scouting ahead, and the others would follow behind. The two of us were always the first ones in. I hated it, I wanted nothing to do with it, but I had no choice. I'd be lucky if I survived longer than a year. I waited for his cue before continuing. Watching him, but also keeping an eye out for the enemy. We were just on the outside of the back gate, covered by trees and brush. I saw him give the hand signal and quickly followed orders. I rushed after him, he shot the guard to the left, I got the guard walking towards the guard shack. The only noise heard was the thud of the bodies hitting the concrete. Our backs were against that shack walls, I kept look on the rear, Dimitri looked forward. I heard a few more thumps on the ground, making me glance at Dimitri. He gave a quick nod, giving me all the info, I needed. I took off after him, sending a quick signal to the group behind us.

The next move was to get in the building. We had to stay silent, steady movements to the doors. Dimitri took an ID from the dead Chinese soldier, making getting in a snap. I kept an eye out while we started going in. I held the door open for the rest of the platoon to get in the building. Gray took my spot behind Dimitri to scout ahead. I now had to keep the rear, making sure we weren't caught or being followed. I had to multitask, keeping my eyes wide, prepared for anything. We gradually went through the halls, winding around turns. Then soon I had to get back to the front, apparently, I was supposed to get up there right away, for I received a slap in the back of the head from Dimitri for it. I gave him a weak smile, while he gave me a nasty glare. I quickly got my head back in the game. I am not going to die today.

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There was one mission a year and a half after I got in, that I should not have tested Dimitri's patience. It almost got us both killed. I was too scared to go near him for weeks. We had a mission upstate and they only wanted to send four of us. It was supposed to be quick and easy. Our superiors trusted us and knew we were up for the task. We would be dropped off about 10 kilks away and must walk the rest of the way. It was the longest walk of my life. My feet hurt, my legs burned, my body felt like death. I don't know how Dimitri made it, he never showed any sign of weakness. Like he does treks like this all the time. The other two with us seemed to have good stamina, at least better than me. They never really complained, but you could see the pain they were holding back. Biting their lip when they stepped a certain way, squeezing their eyes shut, sometimes letting out a low groan.

If anything, I was the complainer. I knew it was getting on Dimitri's nerves. The way he would give a sigh of annoyance or growled when I wanted to take a break. Part of me was hoping he would break, but the other part didn't want to die that day. Though, later in the trip, I would come very very close to dying. It earned me a nice slap to the face after. We had just made it around a small village, getting close to our target. I may have complained just a little too loud that time. Loud enough that next thing I knew a bullet had whizzed past my face, just barely grazing my nose. My eyes were bug eyes, staring at my nose. Gaining composer, Dimitri dragged me to the ground, the others following. We stayed quiet, waiting to hear where the shot came from. We heard a few people talking in a different language walk close to our position. Three men in Russian military attire came into view and before they could notice us, they were shot dead. I wasn't one of them that fired a shot. Dimitri and the other two with us did that. We waited until we were sure there was no one else around before we got up. That's when I earned the slap to the face. No words were said, plenty of glaring and that slap hurt for days.

We finished the mission and got out of their fast. I know once we got back, I would be in big trouble with our superiors. The minute we got back, I was handed a slip, a bad slip of paper that said the dangers of what I did and what will happen to me if I do it again. Don't worry it never happened again. Staff Sargent was pissed, I've never seen anyone so angry. I had to clean every weapon in the armory and every truck in the motor pool and even then, I still got stuff added to list of punishments for weeks. I learned my lesson. I did try and apologize to Dimitri, but he wouldn't forgive me. I don't think he ever did. I never thought to blame him if he didn't. To this day I wouldn't.

I said I wanted to find out what happened to him before the war. I wanted to know why he was the way he was. I found it out from one of my superiors, who knew him prior to the war. It was very rare for someone to know someone before the war. He explained to me that when he was three or four years old, Dimitri became an orphan. He grew up fighting for his life, trying to survive. He had no trust in anyone. The beatings and sexual abuse he got from the multitude of foster homes, it killed him inside, it took away his innocence. It made sense now that he was so cold towards people. As he grew up, began to live on the streets. Running way from foster homes. It wasn't until Sargent Sanderson, the one telling me this story, now a Gunny, found him nearly dead in an alleyway one night. The war had already started, yet to hit the middle states. Gunny was out looking for new recruits and found Dimitri. He was deadly cold and was malnourished. Only skin and bones. He took him back to his hotel, taking him in and bringing him back up to par. He was the first person to ever show the young broken man kindness. 

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He quickly jumped out of his seat, standing up straight, and quickly wiping the surprised look off his face. He looked away from me when he spoke, "How much did you hear?" "Enough to know that it wasn't your fault and thank you." I tried to get out louder than it came out, it only came out a whisper. For the first time since I've known him, since I met him eight years ago, he faltered. He let the tears fall down his cheeks, his face began to redden. I patted the spot next to me on the bed. The bed dipped with his weight, his shoulders hunched over, trying to stop the tears. I rubbed his back telling him it's okay. "They will be separating you from the army." He says looking away from me. I stare at him, my mouth wide in shock. "Why?" I whisper. "Try moving your left arm." I do as he says. I can't move it. I try hard and nothing is happening. Tears come to my eyes as I struggle to tell my arm to move.

"Dimitri!" I rememberscreaming his name. Hoping this wasn't really happening. I remember looking forsomething, anything, to be attached to my arm, rendering it useless. I look upat him with tear filled eyes. He doesn't say anything; his face says it all.Guilt filled his eyes. Now this is something I will always remember. I don'tthink I will ever be able to forget his touch. He grabbed my good arm andpulled me towards him and he hugged me. He hugged me. Like arms around me, headon my shoulder, hugging me. It stopped my tears immediately. It stopped myshaking. I never thought he would ever hug me. I felt his warmth radiating offhim as he calmed me down. I pulled away after a few minutes and stared down myarm, trying to wiggle it again. My lip jutted out in a pout. "Now what do I do,if they are kicking me out. What are you going to do? You going to have to geta new partner." I questioned. "The war is slowing down. We are finally winning.I doubt I'll have to be in much longer. I don't want a new partner. I'll befine without one." He shrugged. Like it was no big deal. "You'll be fine. Gohome. Find someone, raise a family like you've always wanted. Get your twohundred acres of land." He continued. "You actually listened to me." I couldn'thelp but smile. He remembered what I told him when I first got to the platoon.Then I watched his lip twitch and form a smile. The one I had on my face greweven larger. He was smiling.