Chapter 18 (Jillian's POV)

“Have you talked to Parker recently?” Saige asked, leaning up against the locker next to mine.

Oddly enough, that wasn’t something I expected to come out of her mouth this early on a Monday morning. Shuffling through my things, I held my locker door lightly as I poked my head out. “Not since Saturday.” I replied curiously, not knowing where this conversation was headed. “I texted him a few times yesterday and once this morning, but he hasn’t responded.”

“Seriously?” she asked incredulously, her eyes widening as she rested her head against the locker. “I thought for sure that you’d be able to tell me what’s been up with him.”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

My mind immediately started reeling, jumping to worst-case scenarios about the trial or his father, but when Saige saw the worry etched into my face, she shook her head, telling me not to worry.

“I’m sure it’s nothing.” she insisted. “It’s just that ever since I got home from your house on Saturday he’s been acting a little bit different. Mom told me not to worry about him, that it’s probably just his nerves for the trial starting to appear, but he just seems really stressed out to me. At dinner on Saturday he barely touched his food while he just sat there in silence pushing everything around his plate, and then when I tried to talk to him yesterday he was really jittery and closed off. It’s like he suddenly reverted back to the guy he was when he first moved in last year.”

Although it sounded as though she was trying to reassure me nothing was wrong, I couldn’t help but feel a cloud of uneasiness settle over me.

“It’s probably nothing,” Saige continued, shaking her head as she forced a smile onto her face, “I don’t know why I even brought it up.”

“Saige,” I said flatly, watching as she bit her lip anxiously, “Do you really believe that?”

“Well-“

She trailed off worriedly as I cut her off. “Exactly!” I said, “You live with the guy Saige, and if he seems off, something’s probably wrong. I just wish he’d tell me.”

I didn’t mean to sound down on myself, but it was true. Even though I knew I couldn’t force him to tell me everything, especially since I really hadn’t known him all that long, there was a part of me that felt crestfallen that he didn’t trust me enough to confide in.

“You and me both.” Saige continued as an after-thought.

It was times like these that I missed the warm weather, as I’d just be able to pull on a pair of running shoes and run, setting all my problems free as I focused on the sound of my own breathing. Running on the treadmill wasn’t the same to me, and although I still ran on a daily basis, nothing could beat the feeling I got when I felt the wind hit my skin and clear my heard.

“At least we’ll see him at lunch.” Saige said as the first bell of the day rang overhead, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Who knows, maybe his mood will have picked up by then.”

Grabbing the books I needed for my first class, I slammed my locker door quickly before heading towards Calculus alongside Saige. “Yea, where is he anyways?” I asked concernedly, as I’d grown so used to him meeting up with us in the morning before class.

“He was running late this morning.” she replied. “When I left he hadn’t even come downstairs yet, so my guess is that whatever’s been bothering him also started affecting his sleep.”

‘Great’ I thought distastefully, knowing I wouldn’t be able to focus in class until I figured out what was going on with Parker. ‘Just great.’

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Either Parker was doing a good job at avoiding the two of us, or he hadn’t shown up at school all together.

“So what, he just decided to skip school for the day?” I asked Saige. The final bell had just rung, and I was putting everything back in my locker.

“I guess so.” she shrugged.

“But why?” I continued, becoming rather annoyed at this whole situation.

“I don’t know, did he say anything when you talked to him on the phone on Saturday?”

“No,” I stressed, “All he said was that he’d talk to me later because he had errands to run with your mom, and obviously he never called me back so…”

“Are you sure that’s what he was doing?” Saige asked apprehensively.

“You think he lied?” I stated, raising an eyebrow at her. But as I thought about it more, the concept slowly started to make sense.

“It’s possible.” she said thoughtfully, shrugging her shoulders as she continued. “Whatever he was doing Saturday made him incredibly uptight and distressed, and last time I checked, going shopping or picking up milk doesn’t do that to a person.”

Gnawing lightly at my lip, I looked at her worriedly. “So what do I do?”

“I’ll tell you what we’re going to do,” she started, leading me through the hallways in pursuit of the front of the school, “You’re going to drive us to my house, and then while I magically leave you alone for a couple of seconds, you’re going to find Parker and find out what the hell’s been going on with him.”

“You seem to have thought this through.” I said sarcastically, gripping the strap of my bag.

“Just a little,” she admitted sheepishly, pushing the front door of the school open, “Plus I’m curious.”

Rolling my eyes, I didn’t bother responding as I led Saige to the edge of the parking lot, ignoring the cold January winds that nipped at my face as I hurried to where I had parked my car.

The ride to her house didn’t take long at all, in fact, it actually felt like time was speeding up as I drove along the streets that had gradually become oh-so-familiar to me.

“Are you sure he’s even home?” I asked nervously, slamming the car door after pulling into the driveway.

“I’m sure,” she said, copying my actions before heading up the walkway towards the house. “If my mom actually let Parker stay home today, which I’m guessing she did, she definitely wouldn’t have let him out of this house.” Nodding, I followed her into the house.

As the door closed quietly behind me, a feeling of uneasiness washed over me. Just last week everything was fine, everything was going good. A small feeling of hope surged through me at the notion that maybe Saige had made this all up, that maybe Parker was fine and he just skipped school for the day because of a cold or an appointment. However, I knew that in my heart that wasn’t true.

“Are you okay?”

Her voice brought me out of my thoughts, as I sighed and nodded slowly. “Yea,” I breathed.

“Okay,” she said unsurely before nodding towards the kitchen, “I’ll be down here for a while, so I hope you can figure out what’s been going on with him.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good luck,” she said softly, smiling reassuringly before she turned and headed down the hall, swiftly disappearing from my sight.

Taking a deep breath, I took a step towards the staircase, and although they were the same wooden steps that I’d walked up many times before, they now held a daunting quality to them. Once I headed up those stairs, there was no turning back. I had to know what had caused the sudden change in Parker’s attitude, and I wanted to know what I could do to fix it.

With that in my mind, I silently started up the stars, avoiding the seventh step that I’d come to learn creaked under the smallest amount of weight. As I reached the second floor landing, it seemed strange to me that Parker’s door had been left open, as I was so accustomed to it being open, but as I stood in the doorway, I realized why.

He mustn’t have known that I was standing there, as he continued what he was doing as if nothing had changed. His head was ducked as he sat on his bed with nothing but a pair of baggy sweatpants on, his sketchbook in his lap and a pencil in his hand.

As a blush slowly crept up my neck at the sight of him shirtless, I couldn’t help but train my eyes to admire him as he drew. His eyes were slightly squinted as he hunched over his drawing, his hand moving incredibly fast as he dragged the pencil all over the paper. He looked as if he was oblivious to everything and anything around him as his tongue poked out between his lips, the concentration clearly painted on his features.

“Jillian?” he stuttered suddenly, affectively stopping my ogling as I saw him looking at me with wide, shock-filled eyes.

“Um… yea... hey.” I trailed, fidgeting as I stayed in the doorway, not knowing what else I could do or say to make this situation less awkward.

However, as my eyes unintentionally flicked down towards his bare chest, it must have dawned on him that he was without a shirt. Hastily grabbing a loose t-shirt that rested on the edge of his bed, I saw a mild tinge of pink start to line his face as he pulled it over his head. “What are you doing here?” he muttered timidly, running a hand shakily through his hair.

And somehow, even though he seemed to be nervous and embarrassed in that moment, he still managed to look incredibly attractive. It just wasn’t fair.

“Well,” I started slowly, taking a few hesitant steps into the room, “I tried calling, but someone wasn’t answering their phone.”

I visibly saw Parker flinch backwards at the pointed look that was sent his way. “Ahh… sorry,” he replied sheepishly, “I was kind of busy.”

“Really?” I asked, raising an eyebrow as I picked up on the nervous undertone of his voice. “Because I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re lying.”

He looked around the room nervously in the seconds that followed, trying to avoid eye contact with me before he gave up, releasing a deep sigh as he fell backwards onto his bed.

“What’s wrong Parker?” I asked softly, all signs of irritation gone from my voice as I walked over to him. Sitting down on the side of his mattress, I took his hand in mine and intertwined our fingers together. “Saige said that you’ve been acting different since the last time we talked on Saturday. She said that you’ve been jittery and closed off since she came home that night.”

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled, turning his head away from me.

“Sorry?” I repeated questioningly, bringing my free hand up to move some of his hair away from his face. “About what?”

He sighed, looking down at our intertwined hands as he started running his thumb over mine. “The trials in less than a month.” he said, his voice shaking as he spoke so quietly I almost didn’t hear it.

But I knew I had heard him right.

I tensed, my whole body going rigid as his words registered in my mind. I knew that his trial was coming up because my dad had mentioned it once or twice, but I had no idea that it was so soon. “Oh.” I said, my voice so robotic and emotionless that it sounded alien to even me.

I didn’t know what else I could say, and I realized as he turned his head to face me, that there was not much I could say to fix the broken boy beside me. His eyes were so full of emotion that they looked blank, though I was able to see the worry, fear, and anxiety swirling slowly together as tears built up in the corner of his eyes.

“I’m not ready Jillian.” he whispered, his voice raw as a single teardrop escaped.

Through the silence that followed, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of my heart breaking in two.

“Oh Parker,” I breathed, lying down beside him as I wrapped my arms around him, “Everything’s going to be okay.”

I laid there with him then, his arms weaving around my torso to pull me into him. Neither of us spoke. I could here our breaths mingling as our heartbeats slowly synced before I felt Parker rest his head atop of mine.

And it might’ve been my imagination, but I felt the tears start to fall from his eyes as I lay there, wishing I could do something, anything, to help him feel whole again.

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“You know,” I started, my voice just above a whisper, “You never answered my question.”

It felt as if we’d been lying there for hours, wrapped up in each other’s comfort, but in reality, it was probably no more than ten minutes when I broke the silence and spoke.

“What question?” Parker replied, his voice just as light as he brought a hand up to cup my cheek, stroking his thumb back and forth.

I closed my eyelids, relishing in the comfort of this moment as I replied. “Why did you apologize earlier?”

I felt him sigh, and as I opened my eyes, I was met with an apologetic gaze. He moved his face forward, his lips falling softly on my forehead as he feathered a series of light kisses there. I could feel him mumbling a reply into my hair, although I couldn’t quite make out the words.

“Parker,” I giggled lightly at the ticklish sensation, bringing my hands up to his shoulders to push him back slightly, “I can’t understand you.”

“I said,” he started, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I’m sorry because I lied.”

His voice was still quiet, so low that if I was any further away I might not have heard it. But I did.

“Wait, what?” I asked, removing my hands from his shoulders as I backed up slightly to look at him, waiting for his reply.

“I lied.” he repeated, casting his gaze down towards the comforters beneath us as he picked at a few stray threads. “When I told you that I was running errands with my aunt on Saturday, that’s not really what I was doing. I had an appointment with my lawyer to discuss the case, and I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t want you to know.”

His words, although I appreciated the truth, stung slightly at the underlying harshness. A frown made his way onto my face as I spoke. “Why?” I asked, my voice raw with emotion. “Do you not trust me?”

He shook his head furiously as he noticed the tears building up in the corner of my eyes, moving closer to me as he planted his lips lightly on mine. It was a sweet and soft kiss, filled with plea and guilt.

Pulling back, he gazed into my eyes as his free hand came up to cup my chin. “You’re one of the people I trust the most at the moment. I know you’ll always be there to listen if I need to get something off my chest, and you’ve proven time and time again that you won’t judge me, no matter what I tell you.”

“Then why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”

“I don’t know,” he groaned, “I told myself that I wanted to you to stay focused. Since Christmas we haven’t really brought up the trial, and I thought you’d forgotten about it, or at least pushed it to the back of your mind. You were so adamant to start studying for exams, that I didn’t want to tell you and then have you worrying over me instead of concentrating.”

I looked at him softly. “Parker-“

“But then I realized that even though that was a big part of it,” he continued before I could get many words out, “I was more or less embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?” I repeated skeptically. “Of what?”

“Just the situation I guess,” he replied faintly, “The fact that I had to see a lawyer in the first place. It’s not something you want to be reminding your girlfriend of; that she’s dating a guy that might be heading to jail.”

“You’re not going to jail.” I replied fiercely, taking his free hand in mine, squeezing it as the thought of him going away for more than a couple of days gave me a heavy heart.

“You don’t know that-“

“Yes I do Parker, you’re innocent.” I stated adamantly. “You’re not going to jail because you’re lawyer is going to get the jury members and the judge to see the truth. You’re going to fight like hell up on that stand, and everyone you love will be there the moment they find you innocent.”

“That’s just it, how am I supposed to fight when I don’t know what to expect?” he urged.

“What do you mean?” I asked in reply, furring my eyebrows in confusion.

He exhaled slowly. “That’s what the meeting was about on Saturday,” he replied. “My lawyer wanted to do a trial run to see if I’d be ready to face the opposition when I take the stand. I guess I was doing fine at first, but then she started twisting my words around, finding loop holes in my replies, and I just, I guess I lost hope.”

“Parker, I’ve been around lawyers my entire life because of my dad, and I’ve seen every side of them.” I said faintly, slipping my hand out of his as I brought it up to his face, caressing his cheek slowly. “I’ve been there when somebody’s been wrongly accused, when they’re trying to fight a losing battle, and when the verdict is undecided. All lawyers want to do is represent their clients to the best of their abilities, and I’m guessing that’s all your lawyer was doing. She wants you to win, and she wants to prepare you for what’s to come.”

“But-“

“No buts,” I said, shaking my head. “You know what happened that night, and all you need to do is tell your side of the story. If the opposition lawyer tries to get under your skin just remember the big picture, you’re innocent and you need to prove it.”

I wondered if I was imagining it, because he seemed to have been in a constant state of worry since the moment I arrived, but I could’ve sworn I saw his eyes soften as they latched onto mine.

“Thanks.” he said softly, a ghost of a smile wavering on his lips.

The side of my mouth lifted up into a smile. “The only way you fail is if you don’t try.”

And to that, I didn’t get a verbal response.

Instead, he leant down and rested his lips on top of mine, kissing me deeply and slowly as our heartbeats intertwined. As my arms travel hesitantly up his arms, finding a final resting spot around his neck, I could feel him grin into the kiss.

Suddenly, his lips start to move with an urgency that wasn’t there before, pulling and stroking as I kept up, throwing the same amount of passion and feeling into the kiss that he was. As we continued to kiss, I couldn’t even remember the reason he had been apologizing in the first place, but I knew that whatever it was, I had already forgiven him.

Bringing the kiss to an end, he traced a free hand up to my face, holding it still as he placed one last chaste kiss on my lips, leaving me smiling as he pulled away.

His face mirrored mine as I stared back at him, and with a smile idling on both of our faces, I knew I had done all that was possible to pull Parker out of his misery, that is of course, all I could do for now.

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Twenty minutes later, the two of us were still cuddled together on the bed, however, there was now a movie playing on Parker’s television, which he had turned on just minutes previous.

Just as the main plot of the movie was being introduced, a knock on Parker’s door shocked me, but when I turned my head, only to see Saige standing there, I calmed down. Smiling sheepishly at her, I inwardly cursed myself as I forgot she was even in the house.

“Hey…” she trailed, raising an eyebrow at the two of us as a sly smile worked its way onto her face, “I’m guessing that she figured out what was wrong with you?”

I flushed, a rosy tinge covering my cheeks as I realized the position the two of us were in. Parker and I were lying next to each, barely an inch of space between our bodies as his arm was thrown over my shoulder, pulling me into him as his other hand intertwined with my own. And although we weren’t doing anything inappropriate, it still felt awkward to be caught like this, as though the moment should’ve been just between the two of us.

Glancing up at Parker, I saw his eyes casted down at me, smiling before he faced his cousin. “Yea,” he replied lightly. “What can I say, maybe I just needed my girlfriend to pick my spirits up a little bit.”

Rolling her eyes at us, I nudged his stomach playfully. “Well, since you two seem to be having fun up here,” she started, “I guess I’ll just have to go back downstairs, all alone, and find something, anything to do.”

And if that wasn’t a hint, I don’t know what was.

Before I could utter a word, Parker beat me to it. “I guess you can stay,” he said, dramatically sighing as he slipped his hand from mine and patted the free bed space on the other side of him.

Smiling giddily, she scurried around the bed, plopping herself down where Parker had motioned to. “Now no funny business while I’m here you two,” she said jokingly, staring pointedly at Parker and I for a second before cracking a smile, “And rewind it, I want to see how this movie started.”

As Parker lent forward to grab the remote, I took the time to study him. Compared to how nervous and jittery he appeared to be when I arrived almost an hour ago, he seemed to have genuinely shaken himself out of his funk. All he needed was to get something off of his chest, to unload his thoughts onto someone, and it didn’t matter why or what it was, I was always going to be around to listen.

Parker caught me staring at him as he lay back down between Saige and I, and although I flushed at getting caught, I couldn’t stop my heart from fluttering as I heard him chuckle under his breath.

Without warning, his arm suddenly appeared behind my back again, but this time, his other arm was also wrapped around Saige as he pulled us into his stomach. “Hanging out with my two best girls, what could be better than this?” he asked teasingly, making the two of us laugh as he tried to escape his locked hold.

“Nothing.” Saige replied, sticking her tongue out at him as she unwound his arm from around her neck.

Shaking his head in amusement, he kept his hold on me, lightening his grip as his arm trailed up and down the top of my arm. Gazing up at him, I saw in his eyes what he was trying to say.

We weren’t going to be telling Saige what had gone on before she arrived. Our conversation was private, and even though she was my best friend, she didn’t need every detail of what went on. What was important was that Parker seemed to be feeling better, and that, she seemed to have already figured out on her own.

Smiling up at him, wordlessly responding to his silent request, I snuggled back into his arms, ready to put the serious conversations behind me as I enjoyed the rest of the day relaxing with my boyfriend and my best friend.

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So, there’s the next chapter for you all, and as promised, it’s up before the end of July! Now, I don’t know when the next one will be up, but I’m hoping it won’t be too long. I’m going to see One Direction this weekend, so I probably won’t be writing much, but hopefully I can squeeze in some time during the week :)

Also, thank all of you for the continuous support on this story! The response has been incredible and I love hearing and seeing what you guys have to say about my writing. Let’s even see if we can get this into the top 100’s on the teen fiction and romance lists, eh ;)

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