"Cuz I'm overthinking every single word , that was never said or heard ..."

Sometimes when I miss them , I go back and re read our texts. I don't know why and how we drifted apart. We used to be so close . Was it this easy to forget about me and just move on with my other friends? Leaving me all alone...

I'm the person who always gets left behind...

I'm no ones top priority

I just wanna be somebody to someone

The biggest problem is that I still care , but they don't .

I spend my precious time missing them when my thought might not even cross their mind.

But that story is for another time ,let's talk about the conversations.

Reading our chats and remembering how it used to be...oh how things have changed!

Laughing while reading something but then comes the tears.

The way we talked about every silly stuff and laughed! We could go on talking for hours about everything and nothing.

But now , I hesitate to send a single "Hi,"
Because why should I always hit you up at first . Because I'm the only one who actually cared?

It feels so awkward...we haven't talked for months. I hear how it's going on with you from some other friend. When she talks about all the fun things you guys do , I feel this deep sadness in my heart because I'm not included.

"I was there but I wasn't , they never really cared if I wasn't."

I remember waiting for your reply , checking and jumping at every single notification hoping it's that one text. But all the time I'm met with disappointment.

★★★

Moving on from the past let's go to the present.

Lately I've been talking with someone else. Okay not talking, just talked once. I've been wanting to talk with them for a long time but I always hesitated ,on new year (1st January 2021) I don't know from where or how but I got the courage to text them.

I wasn't really expecting a reply, but I did get one and I was over the moon. I don't know ...it was nice talking to that person , tho I don't know them much.

They seem so nice and sweet. I was literally jumping around and couldn't wipe the smile from off my face while we were texting. It wasn't much at all but silly me caring so much and ...I'm gonna get hurt again as usual. What's gonna hurt me? Ah nothing ,just my high expectations...😭

So yeah talked for a bit. But I'm afraid because here again, I'm caring about this way too much while the other person must have already forgotten. I feel awkward texting them again so I'm hoping this time they text me first. ( But ah I know wishful thinking never gonna happen)

I'm usually very friendly online, I do talk to many people, but I don't know why I'm feeling so conscious with these people.

It's maybe because I see they have some very good friends here so why would they even want to be friends with me. Okay that person said they consider me a friend...but come on, obviously not as close as their other friends. We only talked a single time...

( Oops sorry I got carried away with writing whatever I was feeling and didn't even realize that this turned into a personal rant lol now let's move on XD)

For the past and the present ( this next paragraph applies to both)

Reading a single text conversation multiple times, again and again. Smiling like an idiot staring at the screen . Don't even realize when a smile unconsciously creeps upon my face. Thinking back to nostalgic bittersweet memories behind those random conversations. Treasuring every single word.

🎵🎶
Don't know why I still pretend
Can't deny you always win
I can't quit oh no ,
I've been trying forever ah aha ha
I should've known better

Should've knows better - MKTO ❤️

                         🎶🎵

Sadness is waiting for a text
From someone who's
Not gonna text you...

Who is that one person who's text lights up your whole day?

( Just a side note for all my online friends. You're so amazayn and I feel this connection with y'all ! Love you guys so much! )

★★★

Okay this chapter was very emotional and personal. Or was it?

Did you relate with anything here? Got any unknown stories about these which you want to tell?

Let me know your thoughts ❤️

I hope you liked this and if you did do remember to vote! That notification will make me smile too XD